by Claire Adams
For months, I had gone through a loneliness like I had never felt in my life. Yet there I was with an amazing man and we were making love as if we had known each other all of our lives. The moment was beautiful and one of the most memorable of my life.
Being with Nate felt comforting, safe, and erotic all at once. I couldn’t have asked for a better man to make love to after going through such a horrible experience with being kidnapped. Nate had come into my life at just the right time, but I knew he would be leaving soon, and that brought horrible sadness to me.
Chapter Twelve
NATE
I didn’t mean to give into my desires for Ana, but my body just couldn’t hold back once she kissed me again. Having her body under mine felt more comfortable than I was used to. I wanted her, every last inch of her. Nothing in my head said that the moment was wrong at all; it was right. Even with me leaving in a few days, it didn’t matter. We both wanted each other and we were both adults.
“What’s that?” Ana asked as she looked at the stack of papers I had thrown on the coffee table.
When I first arrived back at the house, my first instinct was that someone had broken in. The feeling in my gut was horrible as I ran up the steps and into the living room. I tossed my papers onto the table and scared the raccoon that was pillaging through the garbage.
I still hadn’t been convinced that the raccoon had let himself in, though, and I screamed out for Ana. When she didn’t respond, I thought for sure she had been kidnapped again. But as I looked around and noticed that nothing else was out of place, I started to calm down. Except I still couldn’t find her. That feeling will forever be one of the worst I can remember: Ana missing.
We were friends and really nothing more, but for a split second, I felt so responsible for her. It was as if she was mine and I had left her behind to get kidnapped again. I hated the feeling of dread that had come over me and was so grateful that she had just been hiding in the closet.
Her touch was genuine and warm, and it made me forget about any promises I had made to myself to avoid her. I needed Ana. I couldn’t avoid her or try to turn her down. I needed her.
“It’s my research for my trip. Do you want to look it over with me?”
I was actually joking about having her look it over with me. We were both naked and curled up on the couch; it certainly wasn’t the best time to be looking over boring maps and blueprints. But Ana surprised me by sitting up and pulling the papers toward her. She looked intently at them as I slipped my own clothes back on and grabbed us some coffee.
“This all looks familiar to me, yet I’m not sure,” she said.
“That blueprint is for the Resolve Oil building and the street maps are a bit old, but those are the main streets in Damascus.”
Ana looked puzzled as she examined the blue print of the building. She looked so intently at it that I felt like she knew what she was looking for.
“I’ve been here. This is the building my father worked in. I know this place!” she said excitedly.
“Really? Are you sure?”
“Yes. But when were these blueprints from? Some of this looks different. They had an addition on the back that was where the people lived. I don’t see that here.”
“I’m not sure. I can ask though.”
“Nate, you really shouldn’t go there. I have a horrible feeling about it,” Ana said as she sat next to me.
Ana was still naked and glowing from our lovemaking, yet she was genuinely worried about my trip. I felt guilty. Suddenly, I felt like a big schmuck and like I had taken advantage of her.
I knew I would be leaving on a job that might take me weeks, or even a couple of months to complete. There was no real telling how long I would be gone. When I did protection assignments, it was usually just taking a celebrity or executive to a location and then back home. I could do my intel and the job all in one week. But this was an extended assignment; this wasn’t what I normally did and I really had no idea just how long we would have to be in Syria.
“It will be all right,” I said as I handed her a blanket to cover up.
“I don’t need a blanket,” she teased as she sat there with a huge grin on her face.
Ana looked happy. Everything about her appeared soft, glowing. It was a good look for her. Her blonde hair sat messed up around her shoulders and her cheeks were flushed red. She was by far one of the most beautiful women I knew and my gut felt twisted in knots at the idea that I would be leaving in just a couple days and I might not come back.
I trusted my abilities when I was on jobs, but the truth was that every job had the potential of me getting hurt or killed. I had always accepted that without a worry before, but now I was apprehensive. Now I wanted to be alive. I wanted to see what was going on between Ana and I and the promise of being around her more was very alluring.
“You’re naked,” I said as I handed her the blanket again.
“Do naked people make you nervous?” She laughed.
“Um, no. Not at all. You can be naked all day every day if you’d like.”
“Well, I doubt Chase and Jordan would appreciate that when I’m staying with them.”
“I think they’d be fine with it.” We both laughed.
Ana climbed on top of me and straddled me again. My hands couldn’t help but reach around and grab her delicious ass. Her petite body felt like it was pretty damn comfortable on my lap and I wished I hadn’t rushed to put my own clothing back on.
“Maybe I should just go with you on your trip. I could help you navigate while over there. I did live right there for a whole year. I was a teenager; I’m sure everything will come right back to me.”
I busted out laughing without a second thought. There was absolutely no way that I would be letting Ana come with me to Syria, one of the most dangerous countries in the world. The thought was absurd. To even imagine beautiful, delicate Ana running around such a hellish place was not even possible.
Even if she had once known Damascus, things were different now. The country was in an all out war and everything was more dangerous than when she was there. The rebels didn’t care about the rules of war. They took women and children and tortured them. The rebels made men kill their own families before they were shot themselves. Damascus, Syria was no place for anyone to be traveling to, and certainly not Ana who had just been through so much trauma.
“No.”
“That’s it? No discussion about what I have to offer? You know, I might be of actual help to you.”
“I’m sure I could use your skills there,” I teased her as my hands slid up and down her ass. “But there is no way I would put you into any kind of danger like that.”
“Okay, okay, I guess I’ll just go be a baby nurse at Jordan’s house.”
I loved the side of Ana I was seeing at that moment. She looked so confident and ready to take on the world. I wished I could stick around and continue to watch her evolve and change. She had overcome so much in the two weeks she had been at my house and in the six months at the treatment facility. It was amazing to see her progress.
“Do you think you could walk me through the street map and some of the possible routes to the airport?” I asked, totally willing to use her expertise while we were able to work together.
“Sure, let me see those maps.”
Ana leaned back and grabbed the maps before she started to go over them. She looked at them so intently that she ended up climbing off of me and putting them back on the table so she could kneel down and follow the roads.
“How’s it look? About how far is it from the housing area where the families will be?”
She turned and looked at me with a very bleak expression. Something was troubling her and I could see it all over her face. There was something wrong.
“You won’t be able to use this map, Nate. They demolished many of these roads even when I was there ten years ago. This map is from the 1950s. You need a better one first. Also, it’s ten miles to the airport, so how m
any families are you trying to get out? You’ll need a few vehicles to make it happen.”
“Sure, I’ll get an updated map. It is sounding like we have six employees left there and their families. We will have a couple vehicles, so we should be all right. It will only take us a few minutes to get to the airport then, depending on the rebels.”
“Nate, these people aren’t going to just let you drive to the airport. What kind of RPGs or missiles will you have? Grenades? Machine guns? What are you guys bringing?”
Ana sounded like one of the guys as she discussed the weapons she thought we should bring with us. It was quiet adorable because I couldn’t imagine her really knowing or understanding what any of those things were.
“We will all have our hand guns with us and a couple guys have some sniper guns.”
Ana jumped up and put her hands on her hips. She had a look of absolute disgust on her face as she looked at me.
“No. You absolutely cannot go in there like that. You need tanks, machine guns, bombs—you need it all.”
“Calm down, Ana; we travel through war zones all the time, it will be all right.”
I tried to calm her concerns, but they were the same ones I had had many times over while traveling through war zones. We were never properly prepared and our equipment was out of date. Ana was right to be outraged, but I couldn’t tell her that.
This was my last job with my company. I would just have to do the best I could with what we were given and then learn from the experience before starting my own company. With my own business, I would make sure everyone had high-powered guns and bulletproof vests. I’d ensure whenever possible that our vehicles were also bulletproof. High-end clients were willing to pay high-end prices for the security they needed and I was determined to be that person who provided it to them.
“You’ve got a death wish, don’t you? You’re the kind of guy who constantly does dangerous stuff and you don’t care if you die or not.”
“No, I’m a skilled soldier. I know what I’m doing over there and I don’t need some twenty-something girl without war experience telling me what I need and don’t need while I do my job.”
The words came out of my mouth swiftly, and I regretted them instantaneously. If I could have paused time and rewound that moment to stop myself from talking I would have done it, but I couldn’t. There was nothing I could do, the words had already entered the stratosphere, and I watched in horror as Ana reacted to them.
“So, that’s the kind of man you are,” she said as she turned her naked body around and walked straight to her bedroom.
The slam of her door echoed throughout the house as I put my head into my hands in despair. I was the kind of guy who always ruined a good thing when I had it. Anytime a woman got close to me, I did whatever necessary to force her away from me. That was the type of guy I was and I hated it.
Chapter Thirteen
ANA
The idea that I would have traveled with Nate to Syria started off as an absolute joke. I didn’t want to go to that place, but I did have something to offer him with my knowledge of the area. I wasn’t exactly sure how I had expected him to respond, but certainly not the way he had.
He made me feel like I was just some ditzy blonde who couldn’t add two and two together. I had outrun him for two weeks and could have easily strangled him out in the shed the other day. I wasn’t just a helpless woman who couldn’t take care of herself.
Sure, I had hidden in a closet to avoid a raccoon, but how was I to know it wasn’t an actual person breaking in? Nate could have handled my offer in a much better way.
The next morning, I was still fuming with anger toward him so I got up and went for my run without Nate. I didn’t need him to run with me; in fact, he only held me back. I slowed down when I ran with him so he didn’t feel bad being left behind. Except for the first day when I had run home way ahead of him, the rest of the days I had slowed my pace so we could run together.
But that morning I ran full out. I cleared my head and just let my body go into overdrive as I ran over the hills and as far as my body could go before I had to stop. The trail had ended and I was running between the trees and bushes when I finally decided to sit down and catch my breath.
The clearing that I stopped at was magnificent. It had two-foot high grass that stretched out over a mile-wide prairie. I fought to catch my breath as I watched the grass blow in the breeze.
My chest heaved with the morning air and it took me a good twenty minutes before I felt like I had started to breath normally again. I was a long way from the cabin, much farther than we had gone before, and I regretted taking myself so far away without any way of communicating or any water to drink.
I made my way back the same route I had come in search of the end of the trail that Nate had made through the woods. It seemed to take me forever before I found what I thought was the trail again, and by that time, I was tired and my adrenaline exhausted me, so I chose to walk instead of run.
My thoughts drifted to Nate and what had happened the night before. Certainly he wasn’t a bad guy, and I was going to try and not hold his words against him too much. It was ridiculous that I had even suggested it, but in that moment, I felt so vulnerable when he had laughed at me and dismissed the idea. Saying that it wasn’t allowed would have been simple enough. But instead he hadn’t handled it well at all.
Relationships weren’t my thing. I hadn’t had a long-term one and I certainly hadn’t lived with a guy before. As angry as I had been the night before, my run and walk had cleared my head. At least I could try and talk to him again before he left and smooth things over. I didn’t want him to go overseas with us in some sort of weird place.
As I continued to walk, I realized that where I was didn’t seem familiar to me. We had run on Nate’s trail for almost two weeks straight and the curves had become like second nature to me; wherever I was at that moment was foreign.
There was certainly a trail that I was following, it just wasn’t the one Nate had made. This trail had turned into a very narrow path that would have been impossible for two people to run on together.
In the distance, I saw what looked like a cabin. I made my way toward it in an effort to see if anyone was home. Perhaps, if they were home, they could give me directions to Nate’s cabin. I was sure it had to be somewhere near there, I just didn’t know quiet which angle I needed to be walking in.
The cabin was dark, but it looked like someone had been there recently. There was a light on inside, but no cars around the building. I knocked and waited to see if anyone answered before I started to look through the windows. There were an enormous amount of pictures hanging on one wall with a map that looked like it was of the woods. I moved around to a different window to see if I could get a better look at the pictures.
My eyes focused and then refocused on the pictures that I saw on the wall. There were pictures of Nate’s cabin, of Nate, of me, and of Nate’s Jeep. I closed my eyes for a second and then opened them and looked again. Was it possible my mind was playing a trick on me? Who could be at this cabin?
Suddenly, I didn’t feel safe at all. I turned around in fear. Every muscle in my body felt like it was tingling and my hands felt like they weren’t even attached to my body. I needed to get out of there.
Quickly, I ran back down the path the way I had come. I jumped over bushes and moved quickly around trees. I kept looking back expecting to see someone chasing me, but there was no one there. Faster and faster I ran, hoping that I would find Nate’s trail and be able to get myself back to the cabin. After running for at least twenty minutes, I finally came to a split in the trail and turned right onto the path that looked like it was Nate’s. I wasn’t sure though. I had no confidence at all that I was going the right way, but I knew I needed to keep moving. I had to tell Nate about what I saw. We had to get out of there as soon as possible.
The adrenaline rushed through my body and was the only thing that kept my legs moving forward. My surroundings
started to look more familiar to me and I picked up the pace and ran faster the closer I got to the cabin. I still glanced back to make sure there was no one there, but I stayed focused on getting to the cabin. It had to be near noon by then and I was sure that Nate would be worried sick about me.
I blasted through the front door to find Nate sprawled out on the couch and reading through his intel material.
“They’re coming for me, Nate. They have been watching us. They’re in a cabin up that way and they have photos of us. We need to leave right now,” I said as I ran to my room and started to pack my things.
Nate followed me to my room and leaned against the door in a relaxed way as I hurriedly threw my things into the suitcase.
“What are you talking about, Ana? Are you all right?”
“Nate, grab your things. Get that moneybox and anything else you need. We have to get out of here.”
My frantic words fell flat on Nate though, and I started to get angry. Did he seriously think that I was so useless that I couldn’t even tell what had been in that cabin? I had seen the pictures myself. I knew what I was talking about. Stephano had sent men for me and they were going to kill me, and probably Nate too.
“Where was this cabin? I haven’t seen any cabins within three miles of here.”
“It was out by the grasslands. I ran past the end of your trail, and then when I started to walk back, I got lost. Then I looked up and saw the cabin. I went up there to see if someone could give me directions, and when I looked in the window, I saw pictures of us on the wall.”
Now Nate seemed to take notice of what I had said and paid attention. His eyes zeroed in on me and he moved into the room.
“What exactly did you see?”
“I saw about a dozen pictures on the wall and a map of the woods. They had a picture of your Jeep and a close up of the license plate. They had a picture of me working out in the garden and a close up of you in your shed working out.”