by Claire Adams
I suddenly realized that I loved him. Not puppy love or lust like I had felt in my past. But actually loved him. I didn’t care if we always saw eye to eye; I didn’t care if we sometimes argued because my heart realized that we would figure it out. Together, we would figure out what would be best.
My tears weren’t just for the families and their losses. I also felt happy that I had a man in my life who was a good man and I knew I could have a future with. But with that future would always come some sort of uncertainty as his job brought him to places where he could get killed.
“You all right?” Nate asked as he stood next to me and let his hand slide into mine.
“It’s so sad. She finally found the love of her life and now he’s gone.”
I expected Nate to say something or counteract my sadness with some sort of statement about Rake living the life he wanted to, but he didn’t. Instead, Nate squeezed my hand harder and moved even closer to me as we watched in sadness. It was a reality for anyone that did the job Nate did, and I wasn’t sure I really wanted to be part of it anymore. If I was ever going to have a family or get married, it wouldn’t be a life for a mother, I was certain of that. I wasn’t even sure it should be a life for a father. But I would never tell Nate he couldn’t do a job that he loved.
“Thank you for bringing him home,” Rake’s wife said to Nate as she hugged him.
“If you need anything, you call me or one of the guys. We will always be there for you.”
Those words were all it took to send the young woman into total tears as she wrapped her arms tight around Nate and released the sadness of the moment. There wasn’t anything for me to do but watch the moment, and I felt helpless and needed something to do with myself so I grabbed her young son’s hand and brought him away so Nate and she could talk.
“Today’s a sad day, isn’t it?” I said as we walked into the hanger area so I could find him a snack.
He just nodded his head yes. I found some change in my pocket and got some animal crackers out of the vending machine as we sat down in some chairs near the window. We didn’t talk, but I felt him calming as he sat next to me. We watched the other planes from the airport as they took off and landed for at least thirty minutes. It was mesmerizing to watch them.
“Rudy, are you ready to go?” his mother said as she stood behind us.
Rudy stood up and reached his hand out to shake mine.
“Thanks for being my friend,” he said in his quiet sad voice.
“Thank you. I needed a friend today too,” I said as I shook his hand.
He ran off with his mother, and Nate came to sit next to me. I couldn’t help but want to hug him and just start crying again. I really couldn’t imagine that he did that as his job all the time. It was emotionally and physically much harder than anything I had imagined.
“Well, I guess it’s just the two of us,” Nate said as we sat there together.
“I guess it is.”
“Do you want to go home?”
It was funny, I had only lived with Nate for a few weeks, but his house did feel like home to me. I couldn’t imagine going home to any other place.
“What about Stephano?” I asked.
“I think we can handle him together.” Nate laughed. “I’ve actually had the word out at home about Stephano. I think he’s going to back off, but we could always remind his goons how tough you really are if they decide to show up.”
“So, he’s not going to come after me?”
Nate knew I would want to know for sure what was going on and if Stephano was going to stop hunting me. But certainty didn’t seem like something we got very much in our lives. I would settle for some sort of understanding that if we left him alone, he would leave us alone. Really, I didn’t care at all what happened to Stephano or his people. I just wanted them to leave me alone.
My ordeal with Stephano had been a lifetime ago. I would always have the mental scars from that ordeal, but I hoped to be in a much better place to deal with them. Since going to Syria, I hadn’t deal with any of the fear or nightmares like I had before I left.
I couldn’t explain it exactly, but I felt like I had overcome the feeling of helplessness that I had once felt. Perhaps the fear that had come after I left Stephano’s house was partly from not having confidence in myself and my own abilities. Or perhaps I needed more life experiences before I could feel like I was able to move on.
But I did feel ready to move on and I was going to keep getting better and better at taking on my life. I didn’t need Stephano found for my own mental health, but it would put my mind at ease. I needed him found so I could move on and stop thinking about him. I didn’t want to waste any more of my life thinking of him or having him use up my energy.
I liked Nate’s plan, but I was afraid of feeling afraid again. I didn’t want to go back to a place where I was always feeling like someone was out to get me. No matter how confident I was in my skills, there was always the possibility of getting surprised and not being prepared when one of Stephano’s goons showed up.
“Do you think he still wants me?”
“I think I made sure he knew you were in Damascus with me and that you had Special Forces training now. If he decides he wants to mess with you, it will be a whole different event than the first time.”
I certainly didn’t have Special Forces training, but I liked how Nate thought. I also would love to have some training at that level before I went out on another job—if I ever did something like that. I couldn’t wait to have Nate help me with all the things I needed to learn.
I imagined us staying up to all hours of the day again as he showed me more hand-to-hand combat moves and taught me how to shoot different weapons. Being over in Syria had shown me just how much I didn’t know, and what I would love to learn more of.
Backwoods training was something that really interested me now. I wanted to know how to start my own fires and find food. I basically wanted to learn anything and everything that would help ensure I would survive all situations that came my way. I even wanted to know what I should do if I was ever captured and how I could escape such a situation.
The future wasn’t very clear for me, but I felt like I had unlimited choices to make and could do almost anything that I wanted. If I wanted to train more and take on another assignment, I was sure I could convince Nate to agree. Although, it would take some long talks, because I saw how he didn’t like my idea of working with him in war zones. If I decided I wanted to go to college, I was sure Nate would be agreeable to that without issue.
There were endless possibilities and I felt so excited for my future. Only a few months before I hadn’t felt like I would ever have a future, and there I was planning multiple versions of it with an amazing man by my side. Life sure did have the ability to change in an instant.
“Let’s go home then,” I said to Nate as we intertwined are hands together and left the airport.
The drive from Washington D.C. to Atlanta seemed much more peaceful than it had been when we drove up to the city. We stopped and got snacks at gas stations, pulled over at rest stops, and talked for hours; we even took a little nap at one of the stops. Finally, we arrived back at Nate’s cabin.
I was nervous as we pulled up. I expected the door to be flung wide open and the whole house pillaged through by Stephano’s goons. But when we got there, it was still locked up and nothing looked out of place at all. I didn’t want to be nervous. I hated that Stephano was occupying any of my mental space, but I couldn’t keep him out of my thoughts.
“See, nothing to worry about,” Nate said as we walked into the house.
At first I felt like it was a trap of some sort and we were going to get shot at. I felt an overwhelming feeling of dread, but I couldn’t decide if that feeling was remembered from when I was there last or if it was a new feeling. All I knew was there was no way I was sleeping alone at all. I would be wrapped up in Nate’s arms and feeling his protection every night we were there.
; “Do you think I was wrong?” I asked as the thought crossed my mind.
“No,” he answered quickly.
“How can you be sure? Maybe I just imagined all those pictures and what had been in that cabin.”
The thought had haunted me a lot over the recent days. My mind played so many tricks on me when I was scared. I couldn’t be sure what I had seen was even real. And I certainly didn’t know if it was Stephano who had sent whoever was in that cabin.
“It was real, Ana. You described the scene in color. You knew what the curtains looked like in color. If it had been a hallucination, you wouldn’t have known the colors.”
Nate’s certainty made me feel better. If he believed me, then I had to believe myself. I had never really had a man around who trusted me and supported me. It was an amazing feeling to have him there by my side and saying that he believed me.
Everything about having Nate with me was like a dream and I didn’t want to wake up from it. I wanted to keep Nate there with me forever and wished I could come up with the words to talk to him about our future together.
“What are we going to do about it?” I asked.
“How about you trust me now? I’m getting it taken care of.”
I did trust Nate; that was one hundred percent real. I knew that he would never do anything to harm me and would always be on the lookout for anything that was dangerous. I knew that if Nate said he was taking care of the situation, then he was taking care of it. I thought he might be having Stephano killed or something like that, but even that didn’t bother me. Because Stephano was a horrible person and he didn’t deserve to live. I could care less if he was murdered, but I did want to know the truth. I didn’t want to be sheltered from the truth because Nate thought I couldn’t handle it.
“Okay, but promise me you’ll tell me what is going on as soon you know. I don’t care what it is. I want to know the truth.”
“I will always tell you the truth,” Nate said as he pulled me close to him.
His body next to mine felt like home and I didn’t want to let go of him. I never wanted to let go of him. My whole life I had wondered when or how I would know that I had found my perfect match. But as I sat wrapped up in his arms, I just felt it. I just knew it deep in my soul that he was my match and I was his. There wasn’t a big way of telling for sure and I actually had a hard time explaining the feeling even to myself. But I knew it.
“I’d like you to stay living here with me,” Nate said softly as he looked down at me.
I smiled at the thought. We hadn’t specifically talked about staying there with him, but it did make me happy that he had been thinking about it and brought up the topic. My heart was full as I stood there with Nate. Nothing else in the world mattered if I had him by my side. I knew we would take on the world together and no one would dare get in our way. With Nate and I working as a team, Stephano wouldn’t bother us. I couldn’t want to move into the next phase of us, whatever it was.
It didn’t matter what the next phase was. The only thing that mattered was that we would be stepping into that great unknown together. We were a couple now and together we were going to live the life that made us happy. Not the life that others wanted us to live, but the life that we wanted for ourselves; that was all that mattered. Nate and I were all that mattered besides our families and loved ones.
“I’ll stay as long as you’ll have me.”
“Then stay forever.”
Epilogue
“George, where’s your wife?” Jordan asked as we all boarded the plane.
Ana and I were the first ones at the airport, probably because we were the most excited to get out to Los Angeles and see Jeremiah. George had showed up just after us, but I hadn’t thought to ask him where Cindy was. When Jordan and Chase got on the plane, the very first thing she said to him was about Cindy.
George and Cindy had two teenage children, ages 17 and 18. Their relationship had been strained for at least half of the children’s lives. Things never seemed to be getting better for them; instead, they actually seemed to get much worse for them throughout the years. But they were married and had two beautiful children, that was a pretty damn big accomplishment.
“We are getting a divorce,” George said as he looked at Jordan and then out the window of the plane. “And I don’t really feel like talking about it much.”
That was the end of that. If George didn’t want to talk about something, he just didn’t talk at all. We had all grown up with him as our older brother and dealing with his mood swings was sometimes a bit much for us, even as teenagers. But his marriage had been pretty rocky for a few years and we all knew that every time we saw him.
“I’m glad I got to meet you,” Ana said as she reached her hand out to shake George’s hand.
“Yeah, me too.”
“Does anyone know what this film is about that Jeremiah is in?” Chase asked.
Jeremiah had invited us all to come out to Los Angeles for his big movie premiere. It was the first time we were all going with our girlfriends and wives. It was actually the first time we had all hung out in a very long time.
“Where is Jackson?” Chase asked.
“He and Roxanne are on their way. They just got in from Italy and are changing planes to join us.”
“I’m excited to see Roxanne and Jackson,” Ana said.
I knew she would be excited to see them. It was mostly the two of them who had helped rescue her. Chase and I had only been there for manpower and to help where we could. Jackson was the one trained in tracking people down and he was much more willing to get involved in illegal activity than I was. Except when Stephano was concerned; I had been more than willing to turn to the dark side to get rid of that asshole from our lives.
We didn’t talk about Stephano anymore. It was a part of the past and there was nothing to talk about anymore. Officially, none of us knew what had happened to him. We only knew what we had seen in the news: Stephano Copal was shot dead in a drug deal gone wrong.
The death of Stephano had triggered an all-out gang war across southern Florida. Each gang blaming the other for the incident and none of them taking credit for what had happened until the news started saying that the person who killed Stephano was the most powerful person in all of the gangs. After that story came out, dozens of people took credit for Stephano’s death, and many of them ended up dead after they announced that they had murdered him.
Stephano’s death may not have been a legit kill of a bad guy like I had done while I was overseas or protecting clients, but I never lost any sleep over it. Sure, I hadn’t pulled the trigger myself, but I had issued the order and paid a man very well for his skills in that area. It was my fault that Stephano was dead. Actually, it was Stephano’s fault he was dead. If he hadn’t been such a horrible person, nothing would have happened to him.
“Let’s get this party started,” Roxanne yelled as she climbed the steps to the plane.
Roxanne was a vivacious red head who had a personality just as strong as her red hair. There wasn’t anyone else on earth who I thought could actually handle Jackson; the two of them were paired up perfectly.
She and Jackson had been like water and oil when they had first met while trying to find Ana. But over the years, the two of them had practically molded into one person. They were both outrageous at times and had strong backgrounds that guided them in what they were doing.
“I need a drink, stat,” Jackson said as he climbed on board as well.
“I’ll grab you guys some rum and Cokes; you must be exhausted,” I said as I went back to the stewardess to get the drinks started.
“Ana, oh my God, you look so fucking amazing,” Roxanne said as she sat down next to Ana and the two of them started talking like they were sisters.
It was Roxanne who had given us all the information we needed to find Stephano and she had given up her life to hunt him down. If things hadn’t have went as well as they did, Roxanne would have been the one dead. We were really lucky
that she had met Ana and wanted to help her when we arrived at her place of work.
“She does look pretty damn good, doesn’t she?” I said as I slid my arm around her and pulled Ana close to me.
Ana was a strong, independent woman who was taking on the world one step at a time. She had insisted on being part of my new company and I really couldn’t tell her no at all. But since we were talking about getting married and having children, Ana decided to help run the home office while I signed up new clients. We even agreed that I wouldn’t be deploying much at all, and instead hired on some of the best guys I knew to work for me.
Of course, Baller and Sandbag came to work for me. After everything that had happened in Syria, there was no more business for Blankenship and a lot of workers came to work with me. Blankenship retired and sold me his client list, so I had a built-in group of clients without having to start from scratch.
“Is Jeremiah still dating that nineteen-year-old?” George asked.
George didn’t seem happy at all; not even going to a movie premiere could make him smile. It was going to be a long trip if George didn’t get his act together and start participating in life. He was the one of us who had been living life. He got married first, had children, and was doing all that domestic living stuff well before any of the rest of us. I had been looking forward to asking for advice from him, but I figured he probably wouldn’t be interested in giving advice out now that he was going to get a divorce.
Divorce wasn’t anything I ever wanted to be part of. I was going to make sure I picked a woman who I loved no matter what, so I wouldn’t have to get a divorce.
“No, I think he’s single now. His filming schedule has been pretty crazy for the last few months.”
“He texted me last week and said he was dating a starlet or something, that he’s filming his own stunts,” Chase added.