by T. K. Leigh
“My beautiful Brooklyn,” his smooth, deep voice murmurs in the refined Georgia accent that soothes and pacifies me. He leans forward and kisses my cheek, then lingers for a moment, inhaling a deep breath. “You look incredible. And you smell even better.”
I close my eyes, allowing his words to bathe me with a momentary feeling of contentment. It’s not a butterfly-inducing, can’t eat, can’t sleep sensation I feel deep in my bones. There’s only been one person who’s ever made me react that way.
“Thank you, Wes.” I pull back. “You clean up nice, too.” I wink.
The perfect gentleman, he holds my chair out for me, helping me into it. Once I’m settled, the maȋtre d’ places my napkin in my lap. Apparently, those who run five-star restaurants don’t believe we can take care of that small movement ourselves. It’s just another thing I’ve grown accustomed to since I began dating Weston James Bradford.
“How did court go?” he asks after a few moments of awkward silence. I know not to even bother asking for a menu. Wes has likely already ordered for both of us. When we first started dating, I considered it archaic and overbearing. Now it’s just part of what it means to date him. He enjoys taking care of me, making sure all my needs are met. And if he wants to order for me, I won’t complain. He’s yet to choose something I don’t like.
I reach for my glass of sparkling water and take a sip, then return it to the table. “As good as can be expected, I suppose, especially when you’re telling the judge the biological parent shouldn’t get physical custody of their children yet, and that parent is sitting in the courtroom shooting daggers at you.”
His hand clasps around mine, compassion in his gaze. “I understand how hard that must be.”
I smile, biting back my remark that he has no idea how difficult it truly is. Sure, he devotes much of his free time to designing and building homes for those in need, but his charitable work isn’t the same. He’s never had to sit in a courtroom and tell a judge he doesn’t think the person who gave birth to a child should have custody of them. As the case manager and therapist to these kids who’ve been pulled from their homes, the judge listens to my recommendation. I have to remind myself it’s my job to look out for the best interests of these children. It’s what I swore to do when I began this job. And I’ve held up that promise for the past ten years.
Just as I’m about to give him one of my standard responses, a waiter shows up, presenting a bottle of wine to Wes. My muscles relax, grateful for the interruption. After my day, I don’t want to talk about work, although that seems to be the only thing either one of us talks about lately. After being together for the better part of a year, shouldn’t we be comfortable enough in our relationship to share our dreams for a future? What are his dreams for a future? I’m not sure.
All I know about Wes is that from an early age, he wanted to design buildings. It’s in his blood. His father’s an architect and shared his love and fascination for how things are made with his son. Wes has followed in his footsteps, using his Ivy League education to build his father’s firm into one of the most sought-after companies in the country, if not the world. Wes grew up in Georgia, but attended Harvard for his undergraduate studies. After moving back home upon graduation, he missed the energy and pace of life up north. So he convinced his father to open a branch of the firm in Boston, one Wes would oversee.
He often travels around the globe, checking in on one of their many projects, pitching to prospective clients, or overseeing the charity program he started where volunteers from his company help construct homes for those in need. Wes is a good man, one any woman would fall hard for. It doesn’t matter how many zeros are in his bank account. He still does good deeds routinely, even donating a huge portion of his annual income to charity. The world needs more people like him.
My eyes gloss over as I consider how fast the last eight months have passed. It seems like just yesterday that a handsome man in a breathtaking suit approached me. I thought he was there to ask out Molly. Instead, his eyes saw me, and only me. It was a welcome change.
When a burgundy hue fills my vision, I snap out of my daze, offering the waiter a smile as he finishes pouring the wine. After he retreats, Wes raises his glass. I follow suit.
“To you, Brooklyn. Thanks for agreeing to date me after months and months of my begging and groveling.” With a wink, he sips his wine. I bring mine to my mouth, savoring the robust flavor.
“It wasn’t months,” I retort coyly as the alcohol coats my stomach.
“Yes, it was. Why else do you think I went to Modern Grounds in the North End when my office is in the Financial District?”
I swirl the wine in my glass, the liquid coating the sides. Before I met Wes, I was never much of a wine drinker. Over the past several months, he’s spoiled me in that area, the bottles he orders during dinner sometimes costing several hundred dollars.
“Because their coffee is better than any spot in the city,” I quip.
“True, but it was to see you…since you’re a regular. It took me a while to work up the nerve to talk to you once I learned you’re close friends with Andrew Brinks.”
My spine stiffens and I inhale a sharp breath. Wes doesn’t seem to notice. I’ve always found his observational skills to be lacking. Or maybe because I’ve spent my entire life watching and analyzing the world around me, I notice the tiniest things about people. Like the way Wes now seems to take repeated small sips of his wine as opposed to drinking casually. Like the way he doesn’t look directly at me. Like the way he chews on his bottom lip.
“I’ve watched him play.” He blows out an anxious laugh. “Worse, I’ve seen the fights he got into on the ice. I didn’t want to be on the receiving end of one of his fists.”
“You and dozens of other guys.” A small smile cracks on my lips, my gaze unfocused as memories of my childhood rush back. Of sitting in the stands with Molly as we watched her brother play. Watching him grow into a local celebrity, at least in hockey circles. Seeing scout after scout court him when it was time for him to choose a college to attend. The day he signed with the Bruins.
It’s amazing to think of the paths our lives have taken. After he left for college, we barely spoke again for years. Every time he came home to visit, he avoided me, as if I carried some infectious disease. If it were anyone else who acted that way toward me, I wouldn’t care, but this was Drew. He gave me my first kiss. He was supposed to be my first everything…until I realized they were just lies. It wasn’t until he had a daughter that we began speaking to each other again, but neither one of us ever brought up that night or why he never came to my house the following day, as he promised he would.
I wish I could say I learned my lesson after that, but I didn’t. I wish I could say I never thought of Drew as anything other than my best friend’s brother, but that’s a lie. I wish I could say I’m smart enough not to fall for his charms again, but I’m not.
Because I did…only for the same thing to happen.
“He’s always been protective of you, hasn’t he?”
I know Wes means nothing by it, but discussing my friendship with Drew with the man I’m dating makes me uncomfortable. Then again, I’m not sure friendship is the correct term. Not after everything we’ve been through. Things with Drew are…complicated. Yes, according to the outside world, he’s a friend. Now, I’m constantly skirting the giant elephant in the room Drew doesn’t even know exists. I’ve made it my elephant, my burden to bear.
“He has.”
“I picked up on that right away. The first day I walked into the café and saw you, I was breathless, Brooklyn. Your eyes were so mesmerizing, the green unlike anything I’ve ever seen. And don’t even get me started on your adorable little freckles. But that’s not what caught my attention.”
My skin warms as I listen to Wes’ words, allowing myself to bask in his obvious affection for me. “No?”
“No.” He shakes his head. “It was your laugh. I ducked in to grab a quick coffee before
a meeting I had close by.” He reaches across the table and grabs my hand in his again. “As I waited to place my order, the sound of your laughter filled the place. I was transfixed. In that moment, I needed to know you. I wracked my brain, formulating what to say to you. It had to be smart, bold, especially since you were sitting with your friend.”
“Molly.” I nod, briefly closing my eyes as I’m transported back to the day a debonair stranger walked into the café Molly’s family has owned for decades. “You’d think she’d be the one you would have noticed first.”
“Never,” he assures me with a breathtaking smile. “Yes, I’ve learned Molly can be loud, but something about the way you carry yourself spoke to me from the beginning. But when I saw Andrew Brinks—”
“Drew,” I interrupt.
“Right. Drew…,” he corrects, still hesitant.
It doesn’t matter that we’ve been dating for eight months. He’s still not used to calling him Drew, since only those of us who knew him before he made it big call him that. To everyone else, he’s Andrew Brinks, star hockey player forced into early retirement after one too many injuries to his head.
“So when I saw him approach your table and sit down, then kiss your and Molly’s cheek, I lost what little nerve I had. But someone was looking down on me because I soon found myself in the same area of the city for another meeting. I didn’t want to get my hopes up, thinking there was no way you’d be there, but you were. So I made it a habit of stopping by the café at eight every morning for three weeks on the off-chance you’d be there. That’s when I realized you went every Friday morning, and so did I. Finally, after two months, I worked up enough courage to ask to buy you a cup of coffee. To which you replied—”
“‘I never pay for my coffee here,’” I answer with a smile, recalling our first interaction. “You must have thought me so self-centered.”
“Perhaps.” He winks, a twinkle in his beautiful blue eyes. “But when you heard your words, you got so embarrassed. With just that one look, the way your cheeks flushed, you stole my heart.” He brings my hand to his lips, placing a gentle kiss on my knuckles. “And I’m so grateful you agreed to go to dinner with me.”
“And I’m grateful you didn’t walk away after my response.”
“Never.” He releases his hold on my hand. “You forget, I’d been observing you for the past several weeks.”
“Stalking, you mean,” I joke, taking another sip of my wine.
“Nuance, my dear Brooklyn. Regardless, I could tell what type of woman you were. I needed you in my life, overbearing hockey player as a best friend be damned,” he finishes with a wink, and I lift my wine to my lips, polishing it off.
As if our waiter has an internal alert when one of his patrons needs something, he appears instantly. With a smile, he refills my glass. It’s rare for me to drink like this. Normally, I only have a single glass of wine throughout an entire five-course dinner. But everything about tonight has me on edge. The ambience. The way Wes looks at me. The way Drew’s name keeps creeping into the conversation when we rarely ever talk about him. I need the wine.
“Will he ever coach in the professionals?” Wes asks, digging the knife a little deeper, unbeknownst to him.
“I doubt it.” I take another long sip of my wine. “He’s had offers, but has turned them all down. He doesn’t want to be away from the girls that much. He already doesn’t like being away from them as much as he has to be with coaching college, but he loves the game.” A slight smile builds on my lips. “I can’t remember a time Drew didn’t have a pair of skates on. But he loves those girls more.”
“You love him, don’t you?”
I choke on my wine, eyes wide. “What?”
“No. Not like that,” he corrects in haste. “It’s just amazing how close you two still are, even all these years later. Most friends grow apart over time. I can’t say I’ve remained close with any of the people I went to high school with. But you and Drew… At first, I thought he was your brother.”
“I suppose that’s what Drew’s always been,” I mutter. “Like a brother.”
At that moment, two waiters approach and simultaneously place a dish in front of us in a carefully orchestrated show. The first time Wes took me to an upscale restaurant like this, I marveled at how perfectly timed everything was. Now I’ve grown accustomed to it and it no longer holds excitement. I stare at the pristine white plates as our waiter rattles off what Wes ordered — a diver scallop with a cauliflower puree. The presentation looks too good to eat, like a piece of art, not food.
Over the course of the next two hours, we eat the exquisite food, keeping our conversation easy. There’s no talk of our hopes, our dreams, apart from him asking if I’m excited about starting my PhD program in the fall, to which I answer in the affirmative, with no further embellishment.
After we finish our main course and our plates are removed, Wes clears his throat, rubbing his palms along his pants before tugging at his tie, a slight tremble in his hands. He bites his lip, drawing in a deep breath through his nose. He lifts his eyes to mine, his expression awash with sincerity and yearning.
“Brooklyn…,” he begins as he reaches across the table to grab my left hand in his, toying with a very important finger. A sinking feeling forms in the pit of my stomach. I should have known something was amiss with the way he’s been acting tonight, the nerves seeming to consume him when he’s normally carefree and relaxed. “These past eight months have been some of the happiest I can remember.”
“I’ve enjoyed my time with you, too, Wes.”
He’s spoiled me in a way most woman yearn to be spoiled. He brings me to the most exclusive restaurants. He buys me jewelry that probably costs more than what I make in a year. He’s taken me to places I’ve only imagined visiting — Paris, Rome, London, Berlin. But they all seem to lack meaning. I’m not like most girls Wes is used to. I don’t need to be bathed in jewels and whisked off on a private jet to some exotic location. I just want to feel loved.
“When I first saw you, I remember being so jealous of Drew, of how he could so casually drape his arm across your shoulders or kiss your cheek.”
“Wes…,” I say, a hint of pleading in my tone. If my instincts are correct, if he’s about to propose, the last thing I want to be included in that proposal is a mention of Drew. It would taint the whole thing.
“You were so different from the type of woman I usually dated, but in a good way. They all wore the same type of clothes, styled their hair the same way, every single one of them almost like a cookie-cutter mold. But not you. You were unique.”
There’s that word, the one I’ve been called most of my life. Not beautiful. Not stunning. Not breathtaking. Unique. With my pin-straight dark hair, green eyes, fair skin, and freckles dotting my cheeks and nose, I’ve been called unique more times than I care to count. Other than my father, only one man has ever called me beautiful. Only one man has ever made me feel beautiful. And I believed it…until I learned his words were as fleeting as a passing storm, spoken out of desperation and fear of being alone.
“When I first walked into that café, I remember smelling a hint of lavender, not the coffee I expected. As I passed you, the scent only grew stronger. For weeks, I dreamed of that aroma. When work led me back to that part of the city, back to the same café, and you were there again, I had to believe it was a sign we were meant to be together.”
I remain mute, willing my heart to skip a beat, my skin to flush, my eyes to sparkle with unabashed adoration for this man and his heartfelt words. Instead, I feel as empty as I have since the first time he kissed me. There’s no spark. No jolt. No flutter. I’m just going through the motions, hoping to feel something. I thought it back then, and I still do now. Maybe Drew’s already ruined love for me.
Before I know what’s happening and can stop this out-of-control train from continuing its journey off the tracks, Wes shifts from his chair, kneeling in front of me. He reaches into his jacket and produces a small
box. The room is suddenly silent, dozens of eyes staring at me, at him, at us. When he cracks open the box, a chill washes over me.
My lips part, but no words come. My brain tries to tell my mouth to talk, my voice box to vibrate and make a sound, to tell him to get up. Just like Wes thinks there’s a reason our paths crossed, perhaps there’s a reason I find myself incapable of forming words at this crucial moment. This feels surreal, like I’m having an out-of-body experience, a casual observer of my life instead of having a starring role.
“Brooklyn Rose Tanner,” he begins, his breathing increasing as his pale blue eyes lock with mine, “I’ve dreamed of this moment since I first heard your voice and you consumed my soul. I’d be honored if you’d be my wife.”
My lungs struggle to capture a breath, my face burning, my limbs trembling. Over Wes’ shoulder, I spy all the other diners stealing a glimpse at us, everyone seemingly on pins and needles awaiting my response. So many little girls dream of this moment, of the day their own Prince Charming would get down on one knee in front of them and declare their undying love, begging them to consider spending the rest of their lives together.
I’ve also imagined this moment an unhealthy number of times, mostly when Molly and I would flip through one teen magazine or another, planning our own wedding to whomever was the heartthrob of the month. I didn’t think it would be like this, surrounded by complete strangers in a pretentious restaurant. I envisioned it as a private moment, just us, on a beach or somewhere with meaning. This place holds no meaning for us. Then again, I can’t think of any place that does. Maybe that’s been my problem since the beginning. I never gave him all of me. I’ve kept my heart guarded, worried he’d destroy it like the last man I let in. But Wes is willing to devote his life to me. Shouldn’t that mean something?
Wes is intelligent, has a career he loves, and despite all his money, uses his fortune for good. Best of all, he supports my ambitions. The more I think about it, the more the truth hits me. I’ve never given Wes a chance. I’ve never considered us to be serious, even when we went away together, even when he peers at me as if I’m the only woman for him, even when he spoils me and whispers the sweetest things in my ears. I’ve always viewed him as a stepping stone, someone to bridge the gap between my past and my future. Maybe Wes is my future.