“Thank you, Lucy, and no, David, I wouldn’t kill you—unless you were threatening to kill me, and that wouldn’t do either of us any favours, now would it?”
“Suppose not,” he said grumpily.
For a little while we sat in silence, just the odd creak from the building and the chairs intruding into the quiet, and the occasional gust of breeze blowing through the trees outside providing an irregular backdrop.
I hadn’t said sorry for what I’d done. I wasn’t sorry. Well, I was a bit sorry. Steve must have had his own reasons for what he’d done. Maybe he had family to go and find? Who knows? He’d gone about it in the wrong way though. If he’d have asked we might have been able to take him where he needed to go.
Lucy had it right. He’d threatened us and paid the price and that wasn’t my fault. Yes, we could have stopped and tipped him out, but either way he would have been as good as dead.
I stopped thinking about it then. I wasn’t going to worry myself to death over him. I had too much else to think about. Transport being one thing. Food and water the next. Either way it would have to wait until the morning. I was pretty sure that by morning, I might have thought about Steve some more but so far at least, I wasn’t feeling a lot of guilt.
Maybe my bluff but caring exterior was just that. An exterior, masking something much darker and much more ruthless inside that was already starting to come to the fore under pressure from events.
Time would certainly tell on that subject but in the meantime, I suggested David and Lucy should sleep while I took the first three-hour watch.
It wasn’t long before they were both asleep in their sleeping bags, breathing deeply and regularly, while I failed miserably to stop thinking about what had gone on in the last few days.
Three hours later, I was still thinking, but tiredness had stopped me coming to any real conclusions.
David took over while I found a comfortable bit of floor and was asleep almost before my head hit the ground. I’ve always been a light sleeper and when David woke Lucy for her turn, I woke up too. I tried to get back to sleep for a while, but in the end, I got up, wrapped myself up in the sleeping bag, and went to sit at the window with Lucy who looked like she could fall asleep again any moment, despite having had a six-hour solid snooze.
“Hey, Lucy,” I said as I pulled up one of the office chairs.
“What was it like, Frank?”
I had a good idea what she was talking about, but I took my time answering. “What was what like?”
“Killing that man.”
“I can’t say, Lucy.”
“Why? Don’t you want to talk about it?”
“No, it’s not that. It’s just that I never thought about it at the time. It was like an instinct. Self-preservation.”
“You feel guilty?”
I dug deep into myself. “Honestly? No. I mean it’s not something I’m proud of or would boast about, but I didn’t feel like I had much choice.”
“You or him I suppose.”
“Me and Daisy or him.”
“Who would have thought people would change so quickly?”
I couldn’t really say too much about that as I seemed to be at least one of those people who had changed, but only a little.
“I never asked where you guys were going, and again, I’m so sorry about your campervan.”
She managed to flash a small smile. Probably the first since we had met.
“We weren’t really going anywhere. We used to live down in London, but we just couldn’t afford a house, or even rent, so we clubbed together what money we had, sold almost everything, and we were living off-grid.”
“I’m sorry. Off-grid?”
“Yeah. We would just lay up for the night somewhere out of the way or on a little campsite in the middle of nowhere.”
“How did you live? I mean how did you get money?”
“The internet, Frank. We both used to do freelance work on the internet. David is a graphic designer, he used to design all sorts. Book covers, posters. All sorts. I used to do anything I could get. We could earn enough to buy petrol and food then pay for running costs in a couple or three days a week then go off somewhere interesting for a few days. We ran a blog and had a YouTube channel.”
“Very bohemian I must say. I had no idea people lived like that.”
“It was getting more and more popular before … well, you know. It was almost the only way we could afford to live a decent life.”
“But what about the other stuff. Jobs, buying a house, getting married. Kids even.”
“People still do all those things, Frank, just maybe not at our age.”
“And how old would that be?”
“I’m twenty-one, David’s twenty-three.”
“Weren’t your parents concerned for your welfare?”
Lucy giggled at that suggestion, then explained why. “I’ve travelled all over Europe, parts of Asia, and most of the Americas, North and South, for the last three years, so me living in a van in England was a great relief for them I think.”
I looked at this young woman, wondering why I had this odd idea that all youngsters were stuck in their bedrooms, playing games, and using social media. Lucy had been all around the world, and the furthest I had ever been was Scotland.
I envied her. It had always been a pipe-dream of mine to be able to travel the world. That was out the window now.
“You sound like you have your head well screwed on.”
“I wish I’d learned to shoot now. Sorry about waving the shotgun around so much. You must have been terrified.” She did look apologetic, I must admit.
I shrugged. That was all done now, no point raking over old coals.
“It’s starting to get light. We need some food and water sometime soon.” I looked out at the faintest glimmer of dawn starting to brighten the horizon. Maybe now was the right time to try and find food, before the Groaners began to get more active. After due consideration however, I decided I’d prefer full daylight and more active Groaners than stumbling around in the half-dark.
“We haven’t eaten in nearly two days now, since …” Lucy left the sentence unfinished and I’d already apologised enough for one night, especially as it was not my doing.
I stood and looked out of the window, pushing my face right up against glass. “Looks like a couple of old houses just up the end of these buildings we’re in. They’d be worth scavenging I reckon.”
“Isn’t that stealing? David and I were too scared to break into someone’s house in case they were there, or one of those things was inside.”
“Technically, I suppose it is stealing, but with the state of things I’m not sure those rules, or any other rules for that matter, apply anymore.”
“I suppose. It does seem … wrong though.”
“Look at it this way. What is the greater wrong? Breaking-in to an empty house that nobody is ever going to come back to, or leaving the food that’s in there to go to waste?”
This was something I was making up as I went along but the more I said it, the more it seemed right. Yesterday I killed a man, another human being. If normal rules applied, I’d be locked up, awaiting trial for manslaughter at best, murder at worst.
Now, we had to bring our own rules to the table and live by them, our own set of morals, and for me, if something is going to help me or the people I’m with to survive, then, within reason, I’m going to do it.
I could think of lots of scenarios where that approach might come under severe stress, but for the time being that was what would be my guiding light.
Lucy pressed her forehead against the glass and looked where I had.
“I need some food. And a drink,” she said.
“In that case, lets wake David and see what he has to say.”
“I’m already awake. You two woke me up with your chattering.”
“Sorry, I didn’t mean to, David.”
“I know. For what it’s worth, I think you did the right thing. I’ve
been thinking about it all night. I don’t see what choice you had, other than to do what you did or just hand over the tractor.”
“Pity Daisy didn’t see it that way,” I said, wondering where she was and if she was OK.
“Maybe she will someday. Now, did you say something about food?”
I grinned and nodded.
Once we all three managed to squeeze under the front door shutter, I wound it down with the manual winder I’d used on the other shutters, so it looked like the place was closed. Then I hid the winder behind a bush just in case we needed to get back in, although I was determined to keep moving north.
I wasn’t sure how the other two felt about it. I hadn’t asked. They were free to do whatever they wanted. My guess was they would probably do what they were doing before, keep roaming around, but until we talked, who knows.
My first concern was to get in those houses, or at least one of them, and find something to eat.
Now, in my position, as you can imagine, I’ve never really had a need to break into anyone else’s house before. The closest thing I can relate it to was when Jean’s front door lock broke, and she was stuck out in the gatehouse for a day, but all we did then was wait for the locksmith to come and change the lock.
Poor old Jean, she was so relieved to get out. I bet she wishes she’d stayed locked in there forever now.
So, in front of us was an imposing, what looked like Victorian building that had been upgraded with new windows but still had a very substantial arched and red-painted wooden door at the front.
Around the back was the same story. The curtains at all the windows were closed so no chance of seeing inside.
Checking around to make sure no Groaners were hiding, waiting to pounce, I headed around to the shed out back in the hope of finding something I could use to break in.
Lucy and David stayed around the front to make sure the noise we were making wasn’t attracting the wrong kind of attention.
I kicked in the flimsy door to the shed and after a quick look around I grabbed a garden spade. I remembered seeing on some police show on the TV that people used them to break in.
By the time I got around the front a Groaner who must have heard us or smelled us or however the hell the things know that living people are around, was lumbering across the yard. Lucy and David were both still standing with their shotguns broken, simply watching the thing approach. It was a big bugger too, tall, and heavily built. Rather than shoot the thing and make a noise that would probably attract every Groaner from miles around and getting fed up of pussyfooting around with the things, I marched up to it, planted my feet, and swung the spade around as hard as I could.
I missed by at least a foot and ended up with my back to the thing and almost losing my balance. I managed to turn around before it reached me and prod it away with the blade of the spade to stop it turning me into today’s sushi.
“Any chance of a little help here?” I asked, more in hope than expectation. I was a little surprised then to hear foot steps behind me and Lucy step up holding her shotgun out in front of her and shooting the Groaner right in the face. I felt warm blood and god alone knows what else splash over my face and my ears were left ringing from the blast. Again. Another few days like the last few and I was going to be deaf.
“Thanks, Lucy.”
She was standing there, staring at where the Groaner had been before she blasted its brains halfway across the yard. The last of the smoke trickled out of her gun and made a small plume before the morning breeze blew it away.
“Lucy,” I said quietly, “are you OK?”
She shook her head slightly and was about to turn toward me when I told her to stop and pointed at her gun.
“Sorry,” she said, then broke it and held it across her forearm.
“That’s OK. Just try to remember next time. Make sure you reload now so you’re ready to go if you need to again and thank you.”
“No problem,” she said, then still in a daze she turned and went back to David who was staring at her open- mouthed. I left them to get on with it.
I didn’t fancy my chances of getting through the front door even with the spade, so I spent the next fifteen minutes slowly but surely getting nowhere trying to prise open the window. All I managed to do was snap off bits of plastic that shot across the tiny front garden.
“Who the hell would be a burglar?” I said. I thought I’d said it quietly, but I heard David laugh. I didn’t think it was especially funny, and I was now exceptionally hungry and thirsty, not to mention rapidly losing my temper.
In the end Lucy came to the rescue. She had gone to the shed to see if there was anything else useful. Then she’d tried the back door of the house on the off-chance and found it to be open.
I must admit to nearly filling my trousers and being on the verge of delivering a smack with the spade when she flung open the front door but managed to hold back on both counts.
“Nothing in there?” I said as I poked my head into the cold house.
“What do you mean?”
“Groaners?”
“Shit, I never even thought to look.” Lucy dodged out of the way and came and stood behind me with her brother.
“Right, I’ll lead then, shall I?” I don’t think they got the irony in my words as they both said OK and sounded like they meant it.
“One of you needs to stay at the bottom of the stairs for now until I can check down here.”
“I’ll do it,” David said. I was starting to have my doubts about his moral fibre in all truth. Either that or he was a first-class, grade-A coward. Only time would tell I felt.
“Shout out if anything appears and shut that front door while you’re at it. Don’t want anything creeping up behind you.”
“Good idea, thanks.” He stepped back and took up his position again at the bottom of the stairs.
With my back at least partially covered, Lucy and I set off to check out the downstairs floor. I reasoned that any Groaners were more likely to be down here than upstairs. The first thing I did notice was a dog lead, hanging from a peg in the hallway. I pointed at it for Lucy’s benefit.
“What,” she half-whispered.
“Dog lead?”
“What about it?”
I tried not to roll my eyes. “It means there might be a dog in the house, so be aware.”
“Right. I got you. Want me to bring the lead with us just in case?”
Nothing about the lead gave any suggestions about the size or breed of dog so in fact, Lucy’s idea seemed sensible.
“OK, but wrap it over your shoulders, you might need both hands for that gun but do not aim at me this time, got it?”
Lucy reached over for the lead and did as I suggested.
“Got it,” she said. “Should I get it ready to fire just in case?”
“Christ, no,” I said, I’d sooner get out of here without being blasted by you if you don’t mind.”
“OK, OK, Mr Grumpy.”
“Come on,” I said, “Let’s get going. I’m starving.” My stomach made an almighty rumble as if to concur with the gist of what I was saying.
I stepped forward and opened the first door on the right which was the living room by the look of it. When nothing came running out, dead or dog, I closed it again and carried on. The next door was on the left and looked like it went down into the cellar. I shouted hello through it, but it was locked, and I had no idea where the key was. On the right again was the door to the next room. The dining room. Again, this proved to be empty I was pleased to see, and I could see a door from the dining room into the kitchen. The only other door downstairs was out into the back garden, the way Lucy had come through just a few minutes earlier.
I had this urge to run straight through, but I repressed it, shut the door to the dining room and carried on to the kitchen door. I pressed down the handle and pushed it down then slowly pushed the door open.
To my great relief it was empty. I turned around and gave David the thumbs up,
and Lucy and I quickly raided the cupboards for any food. Whoever had lived there had been a good old-fashioned, get-stuff-in-for-a-rainy-day type. We found pasta, tinned food galore, a huge sack of rice, and in the fridge, we found a carton of milk that was still in date. Granted, it was a bit warm as the fridge had stopped working days ago when the power grid went out, but it was definitely good to use. It smelled OK to me at least.
The units in the kitchen were old-fashioned as was the hob, and the kettle was one of those unfashionable ones that boiled on the hob and had a whistle.
In the end, we found so much stuff that we had to load up our packs, then Lucy swapped with David while he came back for more.
The only thing that was missing was water bottles. I didn’t trust what was still coming out of the tap now. It had been four or five days now since the water stopped flowing into water tanks across the country. I had no idea how long it would be good for. My guess was not long enough. Apart from the milk the only other drink was a twelve pack of cans of beer. That would do for me.
“Let’s get all this stuff back to the shop,” I said, “then we can come back for another look around.”
“Why? We’ve got what we need, why do we have to look upstairs?” David asked as we passed by him in the hall.
“We don’t have to, but we do need some transport, and we can’t walk far carrying all this weight. I want to come back to look for car keys, and they may well be upstairs.”
I stepped out into the small garden and checked around carefully to make sure nothing was shuffling around.
Lucy followed me out, telling David to leave the door on the latch.
I was quietly pleased with our morning’s work. We had enough food to last us a few days. We had something to drink, and although I didn’t trust it, I’d filled up the kettle with enough water and tea bags for a cup of tea.
All we needed to do was liberate a camping stove from the shop, and a cup of tea was ours, once the water had been boiled to buggery. That alone would have been victory enough.
Once we’d dumped all the stuff, we left David behind to sort out the stove and headed back into the yard. I’d purloined all the kitchen knives while I was there earlier, but I’d kept the spade as it seemed to be an admirable weapon—once I got the range right!
The One Percent (Episode 2): The One Percent Page 6