‘It’s the only thing I can do.’ I’m not sure how much longer I can hold her against me without wanting to embrace her, but I am stronger than I think.
‘But Evan, you can’t wipe clean yours.’
Ellison –
Excitement often is confused with nervousness; the butterflies that leap out from your stomach and flutter in your chest, before escaping into a nervous smile. They are so similar, like intertwining knots. Staring into the mirror in the bathroom, I apply another sweep of gloss to my lips and fine tune any missing gap with eyeliner where I have missed around my eyes; nervous hands tend to do that.
I hear the doorbell go; and once more the butterflies return. It’s one of my first real dates and I cannot help but feel nervous, especially when he noticed me first and not my sister. I remember walking home from school, Madison had walked home with Jack, and she mentioned something about him making up with her over something. Probably a mistake, but she did like to string apologies out. A dozen red roses every day, cards in shapes of hearts, teddy bears. Jack was really besotted with her, and when I watched them, I wanted to have that feeling too. To feel the butterflies claw at my chest, wanting to escape in a giggle, in a laugh and a smile, but when I reach the top of the stairs and look down at the door, I see Madison open it, and those butterflies start to sink.
I take the first step on the staircase, only to stop. The guy that had bumped into me two days ago is standing there, a single red rose clasped between his fingers, a leather jacket fitted his shoulders. My heart stops when Madi wraps her arms around him and pulls him to her face, locking her lips with his, she does not let him up for air. I stand there, feeling myself crack a little, feeling every little hopeful notion crumble at my feet.
When Madi pulls away from him, I think she is going to let him in, move aside and call me down, saying my date is here. But no, she grabs her coat and pulls it over her shoulders. A beaming smile her allure, her dazzling eyes like a trap, and the leather-clad boy is falling right into it. I do not move, I just stand there at the pinnacle of the staircase, watching them leave, closing the door behind me without a word.
My feet shuffle down the stairs, each step feels like I’m dropping part of me. Sometimes, I hate being a twin. I’d like to think, that he has us confused and will turn back and race up the driveway to knock at the door once more. But he doesn’t. I slink into the living room, my mother is sitting perched on the couch, her hands flicking through one of her magazines, and she is folding over a page with a recipe when I walk in, her manicured nail running down the edge before ripping it out with a loud tear.
‘Weren’t you going out with your sister?’
‘I have a date.’ I say, standing in the doorway and catching the flash of television, but I stare at nothing in particular, just the framed photographs on the wall, both of our portraits sit in the middle of the mantelpiece, but the rest are all of Madison. I feel a stabbing pain in my heart as I glance back to mother.
‘Really? Did Madison set you up with anyone?’
No, she just set herself up with him.
‘Yes. Yes she did.’
‘Well that’s good for you. Why don’t you go outside and wait? You know I don’t like shadows looming over Me.’ she folds the recipe in half and sits it by her side, flicking through a couple more pages before finding another suitable recipe. I do not stand there for much longer, I slink back out of the living room and stare at the front door. Its cold out, but I might find it refreshing. It might bring me back down to earth, thinking that someone could possibly want to go out with me – I’m no Madison Rose. I’m just her sister, her shadow.
The air is crisp, the typical January chill that everyone complains about. Wearing nothing but my t-shirt and jeans, I can understand why most of the residents complain. It feels like snow is in the air; the crisp chill that often occurs when snow is due. But then it raises in temperature and the white flurries start to descend from the sky. I tread up the gravel drive, my trainers crunching against the shingle, leaving marks with every step. My eyes are up though, staring at the sky, a blackness so vast, so unknown, it leaves me feeling so minuscule. The small slither of the moon and groups of stars light my way, along with the fluorescent streetlights. There is a bench just out on the roadside, just opposite our house. I can sit there and watch the world go by, sit there and wait until my date and sister return.
When I reach the middle of the road, I see someone is thinking like me; a dark figure sits against the side, one arm draped lazily over the bench arm, whilst the other rests against his temples. I feel like turning back and going inside, sitting in my room and trying to fix myself. Fix all the flaws that make me, me and not Madi. We shared a womb for Christ sakes, we are each other’s half, but we are too different.
Instead of turning upon my heel, I walk across the moonlit road and sit down on the bench, hugging the other arm and keeping my eyes ahead on my house, I realise that I am pushing my boat out too far, when really I should be paddling at the shoreline. I’m not ready to communicate with others without my sister backing me up, that is apparent the way I let her take my date by the arm and pull him out of the front door.
‘You look like Madison Rose.’ The voice of the stranger cuts through my thoughts, it is like an icy spear freezing my mind from anything but him, but us sitting on this bench underneath the dark moonlit skies in January. I wonder how he can do that. I turn my head slightly to the side, getting a look at his profile beneath the yellow of the streetlight above us. He has fine chiselled cheekbones, a set jaw and I see by his ringed hand that he favours the darker element of life –
Madison would hate him, all black clothed and demonic inclined, but me, I revert my gaze back to stare at my house, but do not move.
‘I’m her sister.’ I say, keeping it light, keeping my eyes from wandering to him. But he forces me to, when he slinks over, closer to me but still in a safe distance. I can feel the warmth from his breath as he turns his head, out of the corner of my eye, I see him examine me.
‘I can see the resemblance. But you, you have prettier eyes.’ A twisted smirk lines his lips and I see the flash of blue in his eyes as he pulls down his hood, revealing unruly black hair, reminding me of feather quills and inky black scrawls in an old manuscript.
‘It’s too dark for you to see.’ I can’t take a compliment. Not when he is insulting Madison. She is perfection, while I just remain her shadow.
‘Oh, I can see perfectly fine.’ He chuckles, a dark, almost venomous chuckle, but then it turns light and I see the glint of his metal rings as he puts a hand between us, I stare down and see a few skull rings, a few pentagrams. Yes, Madi would definitely not be caught anywhere near this guy.
‘What are you doing out here? Didn’t your mother teach you that there are dark and dangerous things that lurk in the dark?’ his blue eyes glimmer beneath the synthetic light above and I cannot help but stare. His pale face, all angular and set almost like alabaster stone. His black hair pushed back from his forehead but fighting back by falling in a few errant strands over his eyes. He looks so dark, so dangerous, But I still find myself sitting next to him, occasionally glancing over to him, but keeping my eyes mainly upon the driveway of my home.
‘I’m waiting for my sister. What are you doing, sitting on a bench in the dark?’
‘I’m waiting for your sister too.’
‘I didn’t know she hung around with—I mean you’re not her type.’
‘Oh, I’m definitely not her type; I’m just giving her something she wants.’ Something flashes and I notice it’s his rings as he dives his hand into his pocket – Madison would never do drugs. That is not possible. Wait. And I… I would never assume just by his dark clothes, his shady personality that he is a drug dealer. I brush my hand over my forehead, feeling a shiver take hold of my bare arms.
‘What’s that?’ I ask, but he does not reply, instead I see him shift, go to get up – I’ve scared someone off again. What is it I do, that is
so different to Madi? The dark guy peels off his hoodie and in a few steps is around the back of me, leaning over the back of the bench and draping the sweater over my shoulders, before I say anything, his mouth is by my ear and I hear his voice, all dark and mysterious, all soft like silk.
‘You’re the better twin, by far.’
When I turn my head to look up at him, he is gone and all I see beneath the streetlight is a fluttering black feather – a magpie or crow must have flown by and dropped it as they’ve landed. I catch it in my palms and sit in the silence of the night for the next hour, catching the scent of the guy on the hoodie. Burnt wood and spice, metallic and musky.
I wish I’d gotten his name.
Evander –
The dark red haze of anger has left me, instead returning to the flames that flicker and the coals that burn, just behind me. In place of anger, I feel something claw in my chest, rise into my throat, a wordless sound that grips hold of my lips and slips out into a long, burdensome sigh. My arms and legs feel like lead as I stand just above her, her body lying against the stone altar just outside of the torture pits. I hate to bring her here. I wanted to carry her inside, rest her on my bed and just stare at her, clean up her face with a wet rag and bring her back to her pretty face. But I don’t. I should know better than to even think of bringing her anywhere near my prison walls, so instead, I bring her to her sister’s prison, and rest her on the stone altar, the one engrained with bloody handprints and fingernail marks where a few bloody sacrifices have been made.
She does not stir, and as I stand above her, I fight the urge to touch her face, to stroke away the stray hair that conceals her cheeks, her eyes. It is enough that I had to hold her so close, smell her sweet scent, even taste the rose and lavender in her hair as I breathe her in, the rest is just torture.
I run my fingers along the cold stone, feeling the etchings of pain left by mortals as they carved with their fingernails and bit down with their teeth, I run my palm along the slick, cold stone, the only thing in Hell that doesn’t feel alive, it feels dead, dead and hollow, just like I am feeling right now.
I hear footsteps behind me, and then the rattle of chains, I look slightly over my shoulder and see one of the torturers have brought her to me, she’s been bandaged, her arms, her stomach, her neck, the majority of her has been covered as to not show Ellison the extent of her twin’s wounds – even if she deserved so much more than a stab or a cut. I bite into my cheek, stopping senseless words falling from my mouth just as the demon coughs, muttering under his breath what I could possibly do with two of the same, then shaking his head as he left he threw me her chain and I clasp it in my fingers.
‘You got her here. What did it cost you, a trip down memory lane?’ Madison’s tongue is cruel and harsh, a low hiss, that I silence as I pull at the chain just as she had managed to stand upright, I pull her back down to her knees.
‘All she wants in her life is to see you – now I think that is a poor excuse of an existence. She can be living so much more than before, with you holding her back. But no, she is too kind, so unlike you.’ I do not look at her, but instead grip tighter to the chain, feeling the worn rust leave orange trails against my skin as I tug at her again, pulling her closer, I feel her resist but you can only resist so far until the neck shackle pulls you face first into the dirt.
‘All you had to do was push her, demon, that was all you had to do, but you pushed me instead. Can you not do your job right?’ she threatens me, she threatens me in my home, in my realm? The audacious bitch.
‘I’ve taken contracts out with several since you, every one of them have asked for things of value, things of substance, but you, you vain, manipulative leech, you wanted perfection, you wanted to fuel your vain ego even more, at the cost of your sister.’
‘Maybe I should take your place, if I am more heartless than you.’ At her words, I tug at the chain, a hard and quick tug which sends her flying into the stone altar, her shackled hands raising to touch Elli’s body. For a moment I see a quiver of recognition, her lower lip moves, her eyes haze as if remembering happy times, remembering times in her life when she was a better sister, a better person. But those memories disappear quickly and she instead leans against the altar and looks at me, those brown eyes turning hard and callous.
‘Did you have to bind her to a contract too? Or did she get off easily; oh, I bet she did.’ Her eyes roam me and I see her step forward, I rattle the chain at her, demanding she get back from me. I am in no mood for games, least ones from her.
‘She wants to see you, that is all she wants, out of everything in the world, money, fame, material items… out of everything…’ I pause, wanting to say me, wanting so much to drop my own name into the equation, but I don’t, I continue to be a better demon, to do something a Great Prince, no, a Great King would do. Well, I can’t say that, I doubt my father would let her go once she’s gotten what she wants. I still have the will in my pocket, as soon as she stirs, sees her sister, I will wipe her mind and take her back home. And I will never see her again.
‘All she wants is you. Foolish girl.’ I mutter, a slight growl as a sneer pulls at my face, one that concerns Madison as she takes a step back and remains silent.
The silence slays me, it beats me to the floor and kicks me in the ribs, but I stay motionless, just watch as Ellison stirs, first her hand twitches, her fingers curl into her palm, trying to clasp something, and then they reach out, fingers outstretched and her mouth falls open, a word, a short word, a name,
My name.
As she says it, I no longer am compelled to stay away from her, I reach out, keeping the chain of her sister wrapped around my wrist, so that both hands can move to touch Elli’s shoulders, to move her upward as her eyes open, so weary, so tired. Even with her sister standing right beside, like looking into a mirror, Ellison stares right at me, those cocoa eyes so warm and soft, yielding and full of emotion, they widen, her lips curve into a weary smile, but soon disappears, I see her remembering, the haze falls over her, her hand lifts, ready to push me away, her lips part, ready to shout at me for everything I’ve done, for everything I am and for everything I am not.
Yet she does the opposite, her hands reach around me and pull me closer, her head rests in the nook of my shoulder, I feel her breathing, and I feel her heartbeats quake within her chest.
‘Evan… Evan… I saw you. I saw you even before… even then, even then you saw me.’ she whispers, I am thankful that Madison is too busy staring off into the red shadows, watching them loom and dance in the air alongside the smoke of burning bones. I am thankful that she doesn’t hear my response to her twin.
‘I’ve always seen you.’ I stroke her hair, even when matted with dirt and damp in curls and knots, it feels soft, it feels like velvet, just unrefined.
‘You make me feel whole, Evan, you make me feel, Me.’ she speaks with a wistfulness about her, pulling herself out from the nook of my arm, I see her tired eyes gaze up at me, her lips dry and crusty from the heat, from the arid atmosphere. I am about to say something, something I’ve been wanting to say for a little while, but finally she spies her sister and falls back into the altar, stumbling to her tired feet she lurches over, arms outstretched.
‘Madison?’
‘How kind of you to finally notice me, oh wait, you’ve replaced me already.’
‘I… I have never replaced you, Madi, Madi you’re my sister, you’re my other half.’ She pleads, only to have her sister raise a hand and slap her around the face, as she does that I yank the chain, I pull it tightly around my arm so that I start to choke her, in a second I am standing just above her, my foot digging into her backbone as she lays face first into the red dirt, her face smashes against the dried blood, the splinters of bones, she chokes, she coughs, but the only thing that stops me is Ellison’s hand, her hand brushing against my cheek.
‘Evan… Evan, please.’ There are tears filling her large eyes, tears that I see start to escape and run down her chee
k, I close my eyes and give Madison one last tug, which renders her immobile for a while, quiet and unconscious. She’s seen her sister, now it’s my turn. I drop the chain to the ground, it rattles and coils like a metal snake into a ball.
‘Ellison.’ I say her name, no informalities, and no niceties. I say it with a growl, trying desperately not to look at her face, into her eyes. She’ll trap me then, she’ll have me cornered by her sorrow and her pain, I can’t afford to feel that torment right now, and not when I feel my own insides breaking.
‘There’s a lot you need to know.’
‘You made a deal with Madison… I know that much – I cannot believe she sold her soul to the devil, I can’t… I can’t believe you are one.’
‘Elli, I killed your sister.’
‘No. no. not you… she jumped, she fell, it was an accident.’ Her eyes water even more and she loses her footing, so much so that I have to be quick and catch her in one arm, staring down at her as she quivers, she is repulsed by my touch, and I rest her once more against the altar.
‘I saw you there… I saw you at the house… I saw you at the station… you did do it… you killed her.’
‘She wanted me to kill you too.’ I throw in, hoping to try and draw her attention away from her blind loyalty.
‘No. She wouldn’t… we were twins, we were sisters, we were each other’s half—‘
‘She signed a contract with me, for perfection she would barter two souls, hers and yours. Elli, she wanted you taken first, she was so selfish, so self-centred, and she bargained her own sister first.’
‘Then why didn’t you…?’
‘I told you before, Elli, you are the better one. If it were you or her, I would let you live. And I did.’
‘You… you let me live. Then what about now… why am I here… why am I—‘
‘I needed to know what you wanted, Elli, all you wanted was her, all you wanted was your damn sister. To complete the deal I needed to give you what you wanted, to bind you, to take your soul—‘ it’s her turn to cut me off, but the way she does it, it throws me completely off guard.
Grey October (East Hollow Chronicles) Page 22