‘It’s not over,’ said Tamar soberly.
‘I know that,’ snapped Denny coming back to reality. ‘Er – what now then?’
‘We go home. I want to find out what’s been going on. This time,’ she added.
* * *
‘Don’t make any sudden moves,’ said Stiles as they watched the dragon scrabbling on the tiles. It seemed to be trying to stand up but the floor was too slippery and its legs kept sliding away from it.
‘It’s a dragon,’ said Cindy rather pointlessly. She was trying to hide behind Finvarra, whose chivalry apparently had its limits, and would not let her.
‘Yes, stand back,’ said Stiles. ‘This bears investigating.’ And he walked slowly towards it.
‘Investigating?’ said Cindy incredulously. ‘Just kill it.’
‘Do we really have time for this?’ snapped Finvarra. You can see that he was getting used to the presence of his god already.
‘We may have. Where did it come from, and why?’ said Stiles. ‘And why is it here, in our home, I mean?’
‘Why not just ask it?’ said Finvarra. ‘Dragons can talk.’
‘I doubt it has anything to say,’ said Stiles.
The dragon raised its head and gave Stiles a malevolent look. ‘Wanna go ho-ome,’ it whined. ‘Ho-ome.’
‘Faerie land?’ asked Stiles.
‘There are no dragons in Faerie land,’ said Finvarra. They are … were native to this world.’
But the dragon replied. ‘Ye-es, ho –ome. Etee, go ho-ome.’
‘How did you get here?’ demanded Stiles.
‘Accident.’
‘What happened?’ asked Stiles more urgently. ‘What accident?’
‘Two came, no Faeries, had to leave, make balance. Wanna go Ho-ome. Two left now. Go ho-ome.’
‘So, go ho-ome, I mean home, then,’ said Stiles.
‘What’s it talking about?’ said Cindy.
‘Can’t find,’ said the dragon. ‘Home gone.’ And then to everyone’s horror, the dragon began to cry. Large hot tears splashed down its snout onto the tiles. Steam rose from the floor as each tear landed. Everyone jumped back quickly.
‘It came through when Tamar and Denny entered the Faerie realm,’ translated Stiles. ‘And now they’re back, “two came” “two left.” Now he wants to go home but he can’t. “Home gone”. Which means … Tamar has done it, she’s destroyed the Faerie realm and the children are back. It’s time to light the lamp.’
He looked at Cindy. ‘It doesn’t need a wick. It’s not an actual lamp, as such – it just looks like one. Think of it as … as a digital storage device for coded genetic information.’
Cindy looked blank.
‘It’s magic okay?’ said Stiles. ‘Well, a kind of magic anyway.’
‘But there are no dragons in the Faerie realm,’ repeated Finvarra.
‘Look,’ said Hecaté, ‘as the only person currently present who has ever actually met a dragon, there is something wrong with this one. Dragons are not like this. All this “me wanna go home” stuff. Dragons are cunning and wise and have a much better vocabulary than many humans have. I actually met one once that wrote beautiful poetry’
‘Yes, said Stiles, ‘this may be one of the worst things the Faerie Queen did. She took a noble intelligent creature to her realm and turned it into a – a pet.’
‘That sounds like her right enough,’ said Finvarra gloomily. ‘A pet dragon – oh yes very stylish.’
‘Isn’t there anything we can do for it?’ asked Cindy looking with less fear now and more pity at the wretched creature sobbing on the floor.
‘I fear not,’ said Stiles. ‘She will have taken it as a baby and raised it this way, it’s too old now to be taught any different.’
‘Why is there a dragon on my floor?’ said a sharp voice from the door.
‘I say, I say, I say, why is there a dragon … sorry.’ said Denny coming into the room behind her.
‘Why is there a dragon on the floor?’ he said spotting the offending reptile.
‘What’s it doing there?’ snapped Tamar.
‘Crying,’ observed Denny. ‘Why’s everyone staring at us?’
‘We’re just glad to see you,’ said Cindy. ‘Um …’
‘Fine whatever,’ said Tamar dismissive of all unnecessary sentiment. ‘What’s he doing here?’ she indicated Finvarra and eyed him with no very friendly gaze.
‘Er, he’s with me,’ said Cindy and took his arm to demonstrate.
Denny felt himself give an internal sigh of relief. An unattached Cindy had been too dangerous a thing for his peace of mind. ‘I thought he was dead,’ he said then realised that this was not perhaps the most tactful remark.
‘Ha! You did?’ snorted Finvarra.
Denny thought about it. ‘No, I guess not. Mere iron wouldn’t have worked on you would it – you aren’t like the others are you? Any more than she was?’
‘I already told you he wasn’t dead,’ said Cindy. ‘At least I thought … Didn’t I? She seemed uncertain.
‘You might have,’ conceded Denny. ‘I’ve been a bit preoccupied lately.’
‘If it makes you feel any better,’ said Finvarra, ‘it bloody hurt. I had to reconstitute myself – took me ages’
‘Well,’ said Tamar briskly, showing no sign that she had been surprised by any of this. ‘Back to business. We’ve got a lot of Faeries to round up.’
‘That,’ said Stiles triumphantly, ‘is the easy part.’
‘It is?’ Tamar was nonplussed. And for once, she was unable to hide the fact.
‘Cindy, get the lamp,’ said Stiles.
Cindy did so with alacrity.
Tamar and Denny looked at each other in bewilderment. Denny shrugged. As much as anything, it was surprising to see Stiles retaining control of the group after Tamar had returned. Being in charge while she was gone, well, as long as Denny was not there of course, was perfectly sensible. But they were back now, what the hell was going on?
Stiles placed the lamp reverently on a table in front of him and closed his eyes.
‘Somebody had better explain all this to me when it’s over,’ hissed Tamar.
‘Shhh,’ said Cindy. And Tamar gave her a look that would have melted steel.
‘Steady,’ muttered Denny taking her hand.
Suddenly there was a whoosh and the lamp lighted. From its top, a bright white light streamed filling the room and printing itself on the back of the eyeballs. Everyone closed their eyes and covered their faces and the light steadily got brighter and brighter. Even Tamar felt like her eyelids were melting. Only Stiles seemed unaffected. He opened his eyes, although no one saw him.
Then the air was filled with shrieks, which lasted a few minutes then stopped abruptly as the light went out.
‘Cool!’ breathed Denny opening his eyes.
Tamar opened her eyes cautiously. ‘What the hell was that?’ she demanded.
‘It’s over,’ said Stiles and collapsed impressively as the gauntlet unwound itself from his central nervous system and fell with a clatter on the floor.
~ Chapter Twenty Six ~
‘Are you sure you want to do this?’ asked Denny.
She had already wished him free, in the normal way, making him human again, and his power now came, as before, from the Athame. Stiles was convalescing, as a person will need to do after a close encounter with a god. The gauntlet was on his bedside table, ready to be used again in an emergency. Stiles did not think that anything would ever be that much of an emergency. It was now coded to his genetic information now, however, and could not be used by anyone else until he died. Not that anyone else wanted to use it though. Even he did not want to use it.
Cindy had apparently gone back to her attitude of good natured contempt toward Denny. She had settled Finvarra in, and he had returned her son. The boys were to be brought up together in what was, in the circumstances, as close to an ideal situation as they were going to get. And Hecaté now had two little “nephews�
�� (both identical) to lavish attention on. No kids anywhere had as much stuff to play with – and I do mean anywhere. They even had their very own pet dragon to ride.
Everything was more or less back to normal. Except for Tamar (and the dragon in the garage).
‘It’s too much power for one person to have,’ she said. ‘Even I think so,’
‘You can handle it.’ said Denny playing Devil’s advocate.
‘Maybe,’ said Tamar. ‘But it’s not right. I can’t explain it. I don’t want to end up like Askphrit.’
‘God forbid,’ said Denny with feeling. ‘But surely the very fact that you feel like that … he trailed off. ‘No,’ he said. ‘It doesn’t work like that, does it?’
Tamar smiled enigmatically. She took the Djinn bottle and threw it dramatically into the fireplace where it smashed.
This time it did not come back.*
*[Being omnipotent means that you can do anything. Even give up being omnipotent.]
* * *
Tamar had been somewhat mollified to discover, that although technically Stiles had saved the world this time, it had been her actions in the Faerie realm that had made this possible. A joint effort she could live with. And she had rescued the children.
Outside, the world was rebuilding. The scars of the recent occupation were already healing over, and soon no one would really believe it had happened at all – except them. Well, with a dragon in the garage and a spaceship in the cellar, how could they forget?
Denny was fascinated by the spaceship and spent hours in the cellar just looking at it.
It made Tamar nervous. Were there not enough maniacs on this planet without there being (possibly) a whole galaxy more of them out there?
‘They weren’t maniacs to begin with,’ Denny pointed out.
‘That’s supposed to make me feel better is it?’ she said. ‘Oh, they were okay, until they came here. Must be the water eh?’
‘Something in the air,’ said Denny waving his arms vaguely.
‘Well, we beat them in the end,’ said Tamar with satisfaction.
‘And no one will ever know,’ said Denny despondently.
‘That’s Faerie thinking that is,’ said Tamar. ‘And it’s not like you.’
‘I wasn’t thinking of me,’ said Denny.
‘There’s a big celebration going on next week,’ said Tamar changing the subject.
Denny shrugged. ‘I don’t do parties,’ he said. Tamar’s face fell.
Denny looked sideways at her. ‘You really want to go?’ he asked, hiding a smile.
‘N-oo, not if you don’t. I suppose it …’
‘Look, if you really want to go,’ he gave a theatrical sigh. ‘We can go. I’ll even buy you a dress.’
She looked worried.
‘You can choose it,’ he added hurriedly.
She smiled.
‘That’s settled then,’ said Denny.
‘It’ll do us all good,’ said Tamar happily.
* * *
‘Well, did you ask him?’ said Stiles.
‘In a manner of speaking,’ said Tamar. ‘He’s coming anyway.’
‘Good, we all need some fun, it’ll do us good.’
‘That’s what I said.’
* * *
‘How are you feeling mate?’
Stiles sat up in bed. ‘Better than I look,’ he said, ‘which is par for the course these days.’ He sighed.
‘I hear Tamar “persuaded” you to go to the party.’
‘Yeah,’ said Denny with a grin.
‘Should be a good night.’
‘It’s about time, that’s all I can say,’ said Denny.
‘Yeah.’ They both looked thoughtful.*
*[Men do this when they cannot think of anything to say to each other.]
‘Well.’
‘Well.’
Denny rose to his feet. ‘See you later mate. Feel better.’
‘Yeah, thanks.’
Denny left.
* * *
Denny had never seen Tamar so excited about a new dress.
‘Well, I never bought one before,’ she said defensively. ‘It’s not as if I’m going all girly or anything.’
‘Nothing wrong with it if you were,’ said Denny, who was looking unusually smart himself. He had even shaved. A hitherto unheard of thing.
‘Shopping’s fun,’ admitted Tamar reluctantly.
Tamar had been dragged round every boutique in the city by Cindy on three successive occasions and had been surprised to find that it had indeed been fun. She had even agreed to do it again, to Cindy’s delight.
And now she had been in the bathroom “getting ready” for the past two hours. Denny wondered what on earth she could be doing in there. They shared a bathroom, and he knew perfectly well that there was a complete absence of all the usual feminine paraphernalia that he was vaguely aware of women having lying around the bathroom or bedroom. No hairdryer, curling tongs, straightening irons, no makeup, skin cream, hair remover etc.*
*[So much so that Denny was probably the only attached (to a female that is) male in the universe who did not know what it was like to accidentally brush his teeth with hair removing cream or stand on a hot curling iron with bare feet after a shower or find his razor full of mysterious stubble, not his own.]
Tamar simply did not need all that stuff. So what the hell was she doing in there all that time?
When she finally emerged she looked like she always did, (which was stunning) but Denny was smart enough to know that he should not mention this.
* * *
They had hired a limousine at Finvarra’s insistence; he liked to arrive in style, and, since a coach and four was out of the question, a limo was the next best thing.
It was a swinging party. Just the sort of thing Tamar liked, with everyone dressed to the nines – and even to the tens in some cases. Cindy had dressed properly this time, which was a relief to everyone. They had all heard the story from Finvarra, who told it with great gusto at every opportunity until Cindy made him stop.
It was being held outdoors, (presumably to make the point that the Faeries were gone, and they now damn well could if they wanted to) and the crowd that parted as Tamar stepped out of the limo behind Denny was immense and oddly silent.
As she stood in the vacuum created by a thousand people standing back and falling silent, she began to get a funny feeling. Then suddenly a huge cheer went up. Tamar looked around her, bewildered.
A distinguished looking man approached her. She did not recognise him, but his medallion proclaimed him to be the City’s Mayor.
She hesitated then curtsied.
‘Tamar Black?’ the mayor asked her.
‘Er, yes, your honour,’ she said. Although at that moment, she could not have sworn to it.
‘Although nothing would be enough to thank you for the return of this city’s children and the restoration of our freedom,’ he began. ‘We – that is – the people, would like to present you with this small token of our unending esteem and gratitude.’ And he pressed a small golden item into her unresisting hands.
She looked at it in shock. It was a small representation of a flaming sword. On the pedestal beneath were inscribed her name and the words “Protector Of The People”. She gazed around at the expectant faces all staring at her. Her eyes caught Denny’s and he shrugged.
‘It was all their idea,’ he said. ‘I never told anyone anything.’
Someone in the crowd, (there’s always one) shouted, ‘Speech, speech.’ And the rest of the crowd took up the cry.
She looked back at the tiny sword, she read the inscription, and suddenly she began to cry.
‘I never … had, ’she begun, ‘I never expected … I – I … no one ever thanked me before … thank you.’
This seemed to be enough, which was just as well, since at this point she completely broke down. The crowd began to cheer, and Denny came forward to rescue her.
‘You knew, didn’t you?’ she hissed
as he piloted her away.
‘Oh yes,’ he said.
‘You tricked me.’
‘No one else could have,’ he told her. She silently conceded to this.
‘I was wrong about people,’ she said. ‘I never thought …’
‘That people could be gracious?’ said Denny.
‘Yes. I was wrong.’ she looked down at her little sword. ‘Very wrong. It’s the nicest thing I ever got,’ she said.
‘So far,’ said Denny, ‘at least I hope …’
‘What are you going on about?’
Denny fished in his pocket, brought out a little blue box, and snapped it open. Inside was a diamond ring.
‘Only if you get down on one knee this time,’ she said.
Denny knelt down to Tamar’s surprise. ‘Tamar,’ he said. ‘Will you marry me?’
‘And if the world gets taken over by aliens or wizards or dragons?’ she said.
‘Will you?’ he said insistently, ‘even if it does?’
‘Well, when you put it like that,’ she said. ‘Yes.’
Epilogue
Meanwhile, in a galaxy far far away… ™
‘I don’t care what he said … there’s no such thing as aliens.’
‘What do you call that then?’ said Mixpryt,’ thrusting his fellow astronomer’s eye to the crystoscope
‘Wow!’
‘I told you,’
‘Nice planet, very lush. Lot’s of CO2.’
‘Yeah, so go and tell General Lurtz that we’ve found a new home world.’
‘What about the aliens?’ He said this with a degree of awe.
Mixpryt gave his colleague a look that said, “You are not paid to think”. ‘What about them?’ he said. ‘Look at them, all milling around inefficiently. They need properly organising if you ask me. Anyway, I doubt there’s anyone down there who could stand up to twelve of us together, let alone the invasion force that the high command has put together.’
‘Seems a shame,’ said the assistant astronomer.
‘Ha!’ said Mixpryt. ‘They won’t know what hit ’em.’
‘Oh, I think they will know what’s hit them,’ said the other. ‘I mean when tens of thousands pounds of …’
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