by Jillian Neal
It killed him to see her so miserable. He reminded himself that this was entirely his fault. In an effort to make up for being a douche most of the afternoon, he laced their fingers together and mouthed, "I'm sorry."
She gave him that sweet broken smile that had twisted him in knots all those nights ago at the bar. They'd figure this out. He just needed to get his head out of his ass, and she had to stop calling Derrick. Ford would figure out some way to save her family's farm and to get Meritt's claws out of his family's bank accounts.
"Listen, I know Derrick and I broke up, and I'm so sorry to bother you, but I really need a little help." Her head dropped at the woman's reply. "Derrick didn't tell you we broke up." Callie nodded. "Well, we did. That's why I haven't been back to LA in months." She rolled her eyes. "No, I wasn't on an extended vacation. I'm not coming back, but if the past four years have meant anything to Derrick I really do need a favor."
Ford loathed every word of this conversation. If he clenched his jaw any harder, his molars were going to turn to dust. He told himself to be a better man than he'd been with Meritt, but dammit, how much more was the biggest mistake of his life going to continue to cost him? Life had already beaten the shit out of him. Couldn't he catch a break?
It was late in the night with Callie sleeping with her back to him that he finally grasped why this scared him enough to make him resent everyone and everything. What if Callie thought this was the big sign she'd been asking for? What if Meritt cost him the only thing that had ever really mattered? What if Meritt cost him Callie?
By Friday night, everything was locked in a stalemate. Ford couldn't buy her grandparents’ farm, and the hearing on their ability to prove that they were capable of caring for their assets loomed on the horizon.
Seated at Ford's mother's kitchen table, surrounded by his brothers and sister, Callie tried to eat the meatloaf. She really did. It smelled so good, but she was sick to her stomach over all of the insanity going on around them.
Ford's father, Barrett, tossed down his napkin. "Son, there has to be something we can do. I've got a call in to a few other lawyers out in Tulsa and to my accountant. They'll come up with something. I've a good mind to go out to wherever it is that Meritt is staying nowadays and say things I've wanted to say to her for years."
"It wouldn't do you any good," Ford summed up the general defeat that draped the table like a lead tablecloth.
"It'd make me feel better. That's better than nothing," Barrett countered.
His mother squeezed Callie's hand. "Things have a way of working themselves out. You'll see."
"I'm not so sure about that this time, Mrs. Holder," Callie whispered. "I'm so..."
Ford shot her a pleading look, and she sealed her lips. But she really was sorry. It was her father's fault this was happening. If her grandparents had made him leave the farm instead of her mother, everything in her whole life would've been different. Everything would've been better. And now, her father was going to cost them everything.
Barrett continued to stare down at his plate as if the answer everyone had been searching for was there in the recesses of the mashed potatoes. "It boggles my mind that she existed around this family for twenty years and never grasped that the money is in the land. It's not in our bank accounts."
An odd huff of irritation from Ford had Callie grasping his hand. "It would make her whole day if I sold off part of my land to buy that farm and then granted her access to the business accounts. She lives to make me miserable. She has since day one. And to be fair, Dad, it ain't really like the Holder Land and Cattle accounts are empty or any of us are hurting for money."
"Cattle ranching is a crap shoot on a good day and a direct route to destitution on a bad. The only way to make a little money in cattle is to start out with a lot of money. We've been very fortunate. You know that. I know that. But we've had our lean years as well. And we will again. Meritt has never been able to think past the end of her own nose."
"She's a brat. No one's denying that," Ford said. "But I'm the fool who married her." He stood from the table, tossed his napkin into his plate, and stormed out the back door.
Sara shook her head at her husband. "He's tried so hard for so long, Barrett, could you please save the lectures for some other time."
"I wasn't lecturing him. I was trying to talk through to a solution."
Callie stood to go after Ford. "I'll talk to him."
But Jamie caught her shoulder as she made her escape. "Let me. I owe him an apology anyway."
Chapter Forty-Seven
Ford knew someone would come after him. That's why he hadn't made it further than the back deck. He stared out at the lands his family had owned for more than a hundred years and wondered if any of his ancestors had ever felt as stupid and defeated as he did at that moment.
He'd thought it would either be Callie or his father. He wasn't expecting Jamie. "If you came out here to remind me that you told me not to get involved with her or to tell me that she's got leaving in her blood again, save it. My patience is thin enough."
Jamie leaned against the rail beside him. "Guess I deserve that. I was actually going to apologize for saying that shit."
Turning to stare down at his little brother, he narrowed his eyes. "Why?"
"Because I was wrong." He shrugged. "Even with all of this shit Meritt's dished up, you still look happier than I've ever seen you. I want that for you."
Ford attempted to swallow down a little of his irritation. "Thanks."
"You know, Dad wasn't trying to be an ass. He was working his way around to asking Callie what she thought about moving her grandparents out here to the ranch, and just letting her daddy have that farm."
"Yeah, well, he needed to get there a whole lot faster." Ford shook his head. "Besides her granddaddy's every bit as proud as ours was. He's not going to sell that land. You never sell the land," Ford stated the foundational belief that farmers and ranchers lived by. Most cattle ranchers would vow that they sold grass not cattle. After all, you couldn’t raise one without the other. If you wanted to survive in this business, the future was in the land.
Jamie chuckled. "You think I don't know that?"
"You're the one that said it."
"I'm going to let that one go instead of popping you in the mouth for being a fuckwhistle right now. You do know that you don't always get to be the only hero for her, right? I honestly can't figure out if you're so pissed because you've decided this is your fault, or if it's really just because you can't figure out a way to save her all on your own."
Being called on the carpet only served to make Ford angrier. "I don't need a lecture from Dad, and I sure as hell don't need one from you."
"Fine," Jamie huffed, "but if you want her, and we all know you do, then you're going to have to sacrifice a little of your ego and swallow some of that pride. Take it from me, hanging on to who you thought you were supposed to be ain't worth it if you lose the only chick on this planet who clearly gets the guy you really are. Besides, you ever think that maybe the Holders just can’t save everyone in this town? Maybe we aren’t even supposed to. Seems people hate us when we do and when we don’t. I’m not sure it even matters anymore."
Ford was aware that Jamie was no longer discussing the issue with Meritt and Abe Monroe. The look in his little brother’s eyes held far too much raw pain and rejection.
"Jamie," Callie’s tender voice pricked the cool night air. Both men turned to stare her down. "Can I talk to him for a minute?"
"Be my guest." Jamie and Callie exchanged places, but Jamie turned back before he returned to the kitchen. "There's shit worth holding onto in this life, man. Your pride ain't it."
"Hey," Callie wrapped her arms around him. Instinctively, he folded her into his chest and let her bury her face in him.
"Hey, baby. I'm sorry I'm being an ass." Jesus, how many times had he apologized for that in the last week.
"You're not." She lifted her head and gave him that grin that undid him. "I really do love that
you want to be able to fix all of this for me, but I want to help. I wish you'd let me."
"I'm trying. I swear. I just...I don't know..." He knew what he wanted just not how to say it.
"You want to be my knight in dirty cowboy boots?" She sank her teeth into her lip to keep her smirk at bay.
Chuckling at that, he gave her a begrudged nod. "Is that so bad?"
"No, but you're already that. You solving this whole thing all on your own won't make you a hero any more than not solving it would knock you off of the throne I have you on in my head."
"I don't deserve a throne."
"How about a really tall horse then?"
"I might could agree to that. It's better than like a gold-plated tractor or something," Ford teased her. She just always made him better. Maybe part of what Jamie had said was right. Ford didn't have to be the hero every time. He just really wanted to most of the time.
Her giggling was interrupted by the buzz of her phone between them. She fished it out of her pocket and stared down at it in disbelief. "It's Derrick." She answered before Ford could protest.
His muscles vibrated with possession. The word mine seared in his skull. She did more listening than talking but then leapt into the conversation. "You're here? Like here in Oklahoma?!"
Every curse word Ford knew and a few he made up on the fly paraded through his head, but he kept a tight lock on his lips. She wasn't Meritt. He knew that.
"No, we don't have personal drivers out here, and I'm not surprised Uber doesn't come to Holder County." She sighed. "Okay, fine. I'll come out to the airport. I'll be there in a couple of hours." She ended the call and then immediately held up her hand. "I need to go talk to him. He came all the way out here. I need you to trust me."
"I do trust you." Ford wasn't entirely certain that was true, but he knew it was a product of his marriage and had nothing to do with Callie. "Answer one question for me—do you want to go talk to him or do you just think you have to because he flew out here? I won't have you doing things out of guilt."
She considered for a long drawn minute. Ford ordered himself to be patient. "I want to go talk to him. I deserve to really be heard." She stared down at the wooden planks beneath her ballet flats like she was worried the foundation was going to splinter into pieces at any moment.
"Can I come with you?" There. He hadn't demanded to go with her. That was something, even if he wasn't going to take no for an answer.
Her head jerked back up. "I didn't want to ask you to do that. If you don't mind, I'd really appreciate it. I can handle it on my own, but I don't want you to worry."
"I trust you." If he said it enough, surely he'd get it cemented in his head.
"You're trying to, and I'm trying not to resent that you don't. On the other hand, if Meritt wasn't the wicked witch of the Midwest and she flew two thousand miles to see you, I'd want to be there, too."
"I'm sorry that I'm still letting her ruin this," he choked over that admission. Instead of apologizing for being an asshole, that's what he'd been trying to say for days.
"She only gets to ruin this if we let her. I have no intention of giving her that power. Now, let's go see if I can talk Derrick into coming up with some proof that I didn't even know you until the day of your divorce."
Chapter Forty-Eight
Two halves of her existence were about to collide, and Callie swore she could hear the impending explosion. The last thing she ever thought Derrick would do was to come all the way to Tulsa. She was certain his mother had sent him, but why she'd sent him remained to be seen.
He was the only person who could testify on her behalf about when her and Ford had started dating, so just then she needed him. She was going to have to put up with his toxic levels of self-absorption. The desire to put on a pair of wading boots before they entered the airport continued to taunt her.
"I don't think you ever told me what Derrick does for a living." Ford interrupted her thoughts.
"He doesn't really do anything. He tells people he's a pro video game player, but that's not really true. Mostly he just lives off of his parents' money and does what they tell him to do. His father is Steven Devers, the movie producer. Part of the reason I left was that I was so sick of his parents and of him spewing on about dreams that were never going to come true. He never wanted to put any real work behind the dream. That's not how people make things happen."
"I guess I owe the idiot my thanks. Maybe he'll let me buy him one of those tiny bottles of wine or some airport shit."
Shaking her head at that, she leaned across the console of Ford's truck and brushed a kiss on his cheek. "Why do you want to buy him a drink?" She already knew but wanted to hear him say it.
"Because I got you," he supplied readily. "Would you mind telling me about the cheating? You told me he'd done it but never really elaborated."
Callie cringed. Ford had been open about Meritt's cheating. She knew what that had to have cost him, so she went on with the story. "I caught him more than once jacking off to some chat room woman on his computer. He'd rather do that than be with me."
Ford shook his head. "That had nothing to do with you."
"How do you figure that?"
"He knew all along that you deserved better. Helluva lot easier to get your rocks off to something on a screen than pull your head out of your ass and put forth effort to be someone even close to the kind of man that you deserve. Like you said, effort ain't something he's got in spades, and work is worth more than want every fucking time."
"Well, then it did have something to do with me at least a little. Besides, you still partially blame yourself for what Meritt did. It seems like you could take your own advice."
"I blame myself for falling into Meritt's trap. I'm letting go of the affairs. The brilliant and beautiful woman sitting right beside me proved to me that none of that was my fault. She needs to learn the same thing about her ex. Let's get this over with." Ford pulled into the parking lot and made it to her door in record time.
Callie's heart tripped over the next few beats. Tension roiled in her belly, and she still hadn't shaken the nausea that had come on earlier in the week from her father's stunt. It felt like a decade since she'd had to exist in Derrick's world, and she had no interest in having to return to the misery if only for a few minutes. But this was for her and Ford. She'd endure as long as she had to.
The Tulsa airport was relatively empty that evening. It was so different from LAX Callie was certain Derrick would be appalled at the quaint midwestern passthrough. She saw him before he noticed their approach. He was standing there looking both lost and annoyed. Of course, he almost always bore that expression. As he turned towards them, the almost comical difference between the man holding her hand and the one holding a bouquet of flowers struck her. What had she ever seen in Derrick? Ford was all rough edges and work-worn hands. Solid, substantial security was housed in the very marrow of his bones. His thick muscles were ranch earned and used for more than being impressive, although he was certainly that as well. Mostly he looked like hers. Her cowboy, her love, her life maybe.
Derrick's weekly manicures and lean body made it clear that he paid a trainer a lot of money for nothing more worthy than the vanity that drove him.
"Who are you?" Derrick demanded of Ford, but he also took three rather large steps back making him appear to be a child who was about to be scolded. Callie reminded herself that Derrick really was a child, a rich spoiled brat much like Meritt only with money. In typical fashion, he ignored Callie altogether.
She cleared her throat. "This is Ford Holder, my boyfriend. Why did you fly out here?"
"Mom told me I had to," he admitted.
Ford's eye roll seemed to clue him in as to how asinine that sounded. "For what purpose?" Ford demanded.
This time Derrick turned his attention on Callie. "Mom said you needed a favor or something, and I'm supposed to bring you home."
Ford's mouth opened, but Callie shook her head. "LA isn't my home. I'm not
coming back. If you ever listened to me, you'd know that."
"So, what? You're going to move in with him and do your picture thing or whatever? And eat, clearly." He gestured to her hips. "They obviously don't have yogalates fusion classes out here in the asscrack of America."
Before Callie could even gasp over his insults, Ford had him by the collar of his Hugo Boss shirt. "If I were you, I'd turn around and walk, douche-whistle, before I fill your fat mouth full of shit straight out of the asscrack of America."
She watched Derrick's face tinge of purple before she touched Ford's massive forearms. "Let him go."
When Ford released the shirt, Derrick gasped for breath and stared at him. "I could have you arrested."
"Oh, I wish you'd try," Ford spat.
Callie rubbed her temples. "Derrick, I'm sorry you flew all the way out here. I am not coming back to LA, and I'm not accepting those flowers either. We're over. I don't know how to make that more clear for you. I've tried everything I can think of." She took Ford's hand. "Let's just go." She'd never seen Derrick angry about anything. She didn't like that side of him any more than she liked his typical laidback complacency.
But as they were walking away, Derrick called, "Callie, wait!"
She knew she probably shouldn't have, but she turned back. "What?"
He made it to them in a few strides. "Mom said something about a lawsuit or something. What's that all about?"
"Ford's ex-wife is making a spousal support claim against him by insinuating that we were dating prior to his divorce. I thought maybe you'd be willing to help me prove that it isn't true. I didn't even come out here until two months ago. But you don't seem like you'd be interested in helping us, so," she shrugged, "never mind."
"You're divorced?" Shock furrowed Derrick's brow.
"Is that all you got out of that whole story?" Ford clearly wasn't in the mood for more small talk.
Derrick rolled his eyes, but then he pulled his phone from his pocket. "When is she saying you two started dating?"