by Cecilia Lane
Fuck, she was gorgeous. Even with her face drawn and her eyes red from tears, there was no one on the planet that he wanted more. She filled his thoughts during the day and ran marathons through his dreams. Hair more red than brown was tied back, but blue eyes the color of the deep sea met his. Curves rounded her shape in all the right places and he clenched his fists to hold back the temptation of reaching for her.
The strong, physical reaction only faded when he caught her scent. Instincts to care and provide surged forward with a need to bite at anything that hurt her. Kate, the collar around her neck, the guards at her back, the pain of her past... He wanted to fix everything in her life and see her smile.
Those needs drew out his bear. The beast clashed at his middle and raged in his mind. Their mate hurt and they could do nothing about it. Outside, in the real world, Hudson could throw an arm over a friend’s shoulder or receive comfort from one of his clan. He could brawl until he burned off his hurt or anger. In that room, though, they were under strict rules not to touch.
She was a prisoner. There was no forgetting that fact.
“You’re back,” Mara said.
The words stopped his bear in his tracks. The beast sat back on his haunches and stared, enamored. Hudson dug his hand into the animal’s fur. They had to work with what they had, and if her voice was all they could feel, then that was what they’d hold onto.
“I’m back.” He spread his hands wide and slid further into his chair. Fuck, if they’d been anywhere else he’d have pulled her onto his lap. All he could do was consume her with his eyes as she swung around the table and took a seat across from him. “They treating you well in here?”
“You ask that every time,” she said with a roll of her eyes and a half smile that didn’t quite reach them.
At least a hint of the sadness clinging to her scent faded. Underneath was that uniquely lovely spice that was all Mara. She smelled like baked earth and spicy chocolate. He’d give just about anything to lick her from head to foot.
He’d never had an opportunity to even kiss her before she was shackled and sentenced. One year, an entire year, of knowing exactly who and where his mate was, and he couldn’t touch her. There was no justice in the world.
“Just making sure I don’t have to break you out of here. I could take Cullins, but I don’t know about Mack. He’s a wiry old shrew.” Behind him and still inside the room, Mack snorted. “You have been digging under your bed every night, haven’t you?”
She leaned a little closer and her voice dropped to a stage whisper. “Even better. I’m going through the walls.”
“Atta girl.” He winked.
For a brief moment, he thought she’d laugh. Then the troubles weighing on her fell back into place. “What did you find this time?”
That was one thing he learned about her during their conversations. She wasn’t into nonsense when there was a job at hand. And there was always a job to be done. She wanted to hand over every bit of information she knew about the hunters that used her. He’d had to lure other morsels of conversation and joking out of her. Some days were better than others, and some days were worse.
She’d already shoved Kate out the door. He wouldn’t push her too hard.
“Not much. Only one man was left. Zeph was his name. He said Ronnie and the crew took off a few weeks earlier and left him alone.”
“Probably owns the land. She had a talent for sniffing out the locations and making friends with the local authorities. Enough money changes hands, eyes start to turn the other way.”
“Well, we have eyes, too. This camp has been added to the list. I’ll know if it gets used again.” He’d called in every favor owed to guarantee that, but Ronnie was crafty. She never went back to a camp after it was busted up.
Mara toyed with her short fingernails, rubbing another finger over the edge. She stared into space for a long moment. She knew her old handler far better than he did. There was no hiding the fact that this last trip was a bust. No new locations, no one rescued, and days apart. That was the net result.
“I saw Kate on the way in,” Hudson started gently. Mara didn’t flinch, but her eyes found his. “She said she doesn’t see a benefit to these little trips. And with the little I got this time, I’m inclined to agree with her.”
Mara pushed to her feet. Out of the corner of his eye, Hudson caught Mack straightening. Only after a full circuit of Mara pacing did he relax.
She didn’t, though. Spiky anger wafted off her with every step. Her lips pressed tightly together. All trace of her previous sadness disappeared into a cloud of hazy frustration. “So that’s it, then. Giving you information was the one good thing I could do from here and now I can’t even do that.”
“We knew this would happen. You can’t beat yourself up over it. Days pass and people change their routines.” Hudson watched her go from one end of the room to the other. She slowed, then stopped entirely. She didn’t face him, but her cocked head said she listened. “Three people are free because of you—”
“And four are still missing and I put them in chains!” She tossed her hands in the air and made a noise of disgust.
“Those are just the three that you handed over. Others are alive now because of you, too.”
Early days, that. Before Ronnie and her crew of hunters seemed to get the jump on him. He’d found five shifters alive, three of which were there by Mara’s hand. The camp after that found four more. Then they entered the long period of finding deserted barns or fields or warehouses where fights had been held, but no one remained to point in the right direction.
He rubbed his hand over his head when she began to pace once more. “Will you sit? Please?”
There was no surprise when she took another circuit. He could practically smell the fur of her inner lioness bristling and see her tail twitching. But no, that was something else he’d been denied. He’d yet to meet the beast under her skin.
When she took back what little control she had, she came to a stop at her side of the table and sank back into her seat. None of the agitation faded from her scent. Worry pooled there, as well.
Hudson’s bear clawed him up from the insides and demanded he solve it, fix it, make her whole again.
Mara crossed her arms over her chest and looked away. Her leg bounced and her throat worked with a hard swallow. Between gritted teeth, she asked, “Does this mean you won’t come by as often?”
Hudson blinked at her with surprise, then confusion. “What? No. Why would you think that?”
His fingers twitched of their own accord and he glared over his shoulder at Mack. Fuck the rules. He reached across the table and grabbed her hand.
Warmth spread through his palm and up his arm. By the Broken, he was sure it spread through every cell of his body until his hair stood on end and he could feel the thud of his heart growing stronger.
“You’re my mate,” he growled. Behind him, Mack sighed. At least he wasn’t shouting to separate. Mara’s eyes widened as she switched her focus from their joined hands to his face. “Mine, Mara. No matter where you’re at or what you’ve done in the past. I’m not letting you go.”
The moment stretched on and on. Time felt pulled further and further apart, thinning and elongating until what stood between them was bound to snap like a rubber band.
The force of the blow almost brought him to his knees.
Mara tugged her hand away and stood.
“You and Kate should do the exact same thing and forget about me. I’m not worth saving. I’m not worth redeeming. I’m just a black hole and you’ll all be sucked in if you stay around me.”
Chapter 4
Mara stared at the ceiling above her and tried unsuccessfully to focus on anything but the previous day’s events. That was the hazard of a jail cell. Distractions were nonexistent.
She played each conversation over and over all through the night. The heaviness of her eyes and the lethargy in her limbs killed any story she spun about being at ease with her
damn tantrum. Too many jumbled thoughts kept her mind spinning through the long hours since she left Hudson dazed in the visitor’s room.
It was almost a blessing when the lights flicked on and gave her a reason to roll off her cot. She tied her hair back and started her exercise routine, but that burst of energy didn’t quiet the unsettled emotions running rampant. Her skin itched with the need to shift, but that was denied to her, too.
Breakfast. Waiting. Shower. Waiting.
Waiting. Waiting. Waiting.
That was all that she could do. She couldn’t talk freely to anyone she wanted. There was no visiting the coffee shop to eat her emotions. No finding the most rundown dive bar to drown her sorrows. There was just her. Alone. In her head.
It was a terribly messy place to be. Mangled apologies and pouty insistence on her current course littered the mental ground.
The uneasy anxiety and need to move only intensified when Kate didn’t appear.
Mara tried to focus on the words of a new paperback. Time and again, her gaze slid off the page and her thoughts couldn’t make sense of the letters on the page.
She was losing everyone. The right thing to do, she reminded herself, was to push them all away. They needed to get on with their lives and leave her behind. She wasn’t bringing them anything but complications and misery.
The kids were throwing fits. Joy hated seeing her collared and it wouldn’t be long before Jack realized the oddity of the entire situation. Kate had her own life with bills and friends and a new man. It was unfair to expect them to be her bit of happiness.
And Hudson... He was in the same boat. Poor fool thought they were mates? He was better off without her.
The quiet snarling of her inner cat didn’t go unnoticed. How could it? That creature, dulled and locked away deep in her mind, was her only companion. And wrong. So very, very wrong.
He didn’t need to spend all his free time trying to correct her mistakes. They weren’t going to be fixed. She couldn’t be fixed. Her past crimes landed her in a cell. The secret lunches he conspired to bring her only put himself on the line. She couldn’t bring him down to her level. The bottom was no place for a man like Hudson.
He had a life outside of her. Friends. Family. He needed to forget about her entirely.
The soft scratches at the back of her mind were the pissed off reaction of a cat caged by silver.
She’d give just about anything to rip off that collar and let her beast take her skin forever. Mara wanted to escape to a realm of animal instinct and forget the past, present, and predictable future.
She didn’t deserve forgiveness or love or acceptance. She’d done terrible, bad things, and it wasn’t justice that she only received punishment for setting fires. Pushing everyone away was right for them and extra penance for her.
A rap on her closed door was a welcome relief from her troubled thoughts. Mack pushed inside a second later.
“Visitors,” he announced.
Mara’s heart fluttered in her chest. Hudson. It had to be. The man filled her with wants and needs that weren’t right. He was on the outside, and she was trapped on the inside. Star-crossed lovers separated by hurt and betrayal. And just like Romeo and Juliet, there was tragedy waiting for them if they kept dancing around one another.
She tried to put words to air and tell Mack to send Hudson away, but they just wouldn’t form. Her tongue stuck to the roof of her mouth and her feet set on the floor.
She was weak.
Mack checked her collar, then stepped out of the way for her to enter the corridor. Mara’s stomach did flips. It was earlier than he usually arrived. Not entirely unexpected if he caught a call and needed to put out fires, or had something scheduled for the afternoon. His job protecting others from flames was more important than visiting at an exact lunch hour.
Hudson wasn’t waiting for her in the visitor’s room.
One man was seated and waiting, while another stood at his side.
Mara looked a question at Mack. He jerked his chin. “Go on. They’re waiting for you.”
She eyed both men while ignoring the sudden disappointment that coursed through her. She’d succeeded in pushing everyone away. It was for the best. She would bury the pain down deep and examine it only on Sundays and special occasions.
The men were uninteresting to look at. Brown hair, brown eyes, as unnoticeable as one could be. Hudson had more character on his features than both of the men combined. Supernatural Enforcement Agency insignias were sewn on the breasts of their identical black uniform shirts. Holstered weapons rested on their hips.
SEA agents. She’d seen them around and heard of their particular brand of not-quite justice from Hudson. At best, they were an annoyance. At worst, occupying forces. She’d not had any dealings with them, thankfully. She wasn’t registered or under their jurisdiction. She hadn’t harmed any upstanding—human—citizens. Her crimes were committed within the enclave, so enclave law convicted her.
That they were there now didn’t fill her with any bright, shiny feelings.
Silently, Mara took a seat across from the agents. She wasn’t a fool. Her upbringing gave her an honest distrust of law enforcement, and time under Ronnie reinforced that belief. One life needed to keep information about illegal fighting rings and shifter nature a secret. The other bought off local police to keep their activities hidden.
A little more discretion might have kept her brother alive.
The seated agent nodded once to the man standing at his side. The only movement Mara made was to follow him with her eyes. He leaned in too close to Mack, then led him out of the room.
Her heart thudded in her chest. She sniffed the air. Nothing unusual. Yet.
Except that Mack never left the room when she had a visitor, personal or otherwise.
The remaining agent cleared his throat and pulled her attention back to him. “We need to go over some information, Ms. Malone.”
She cocked her head. Up until then, Hudson or Judah handled interviewing her. “I’ve given everything I know to the local authorities. Where did Mack go?”
He ignored her question. “And that’s the problem. They don’t have jurisdiction over the entire country. The crimes you allege happen are spread out over the lower forty-eight.”
“Allege?” Her blood ran hot, but she kept her cool. “I know what happened. I know what I did for them.”
“And what, exactly, did you do?”
Mara paused with words on the tip of her tongue. The scent of the room didn’t change, but something unnerved her. Training with her father and her brother taught her to listen to her gut. Sometimes it was the difference between ducking or taking a punch.
She killed her sharp retort and asked, “Shouldn’t I have a lawyer present for this? Rules about self-incrimination and all that?”
“Rules don’t apply to shifter scum,” he growled and shoved to his feet.
Oh, fuck.
Her own chair skidded backward with her attempt to flee whatever harm he meant for her. Her lioness scratched at her mind. Mara ached to let the beast free and unsheathe her claws. The damn collar on her neck kept her locked firmly to her human shape.
“You’ve been saying the wrong stuff to the wrong people,” he said menacingly. His eyes darkened, and disgust and fury filled his scent. Danger radiated off him in every damn way possible.
Mara steeled herself for whatever would come next.
She never fought a real match in the ring herself; that was always for the men. She learned enough from her father and her brother and everyone she watched growing up or spoke to when she managed Matthew. A quick breath in through her nose and out through her mouth steadied and grounded her. She focused on everything and nothing while sorting through the clues the man in front of her gave.
He lunged for her. She stepped quickly to the side. He grunted when his hands came up empty and overturned the table she tried to keep between them.
If she made enough noise or fought him off long
enough, help would arrive. The corridor always had some activity. Mack was just outside, and Cullins probably in the guard’s room. She shot a look toward the camera in the corner and hoped he’d see her.
The second one entered the room with the smell of blood already on his hands. She didn’t have time to process more than that, as he waded right into the fight with a punch thrown at her middle.
She ducked his blow and backed right into elbows slamming down on her back. The move would have sent just about anyone to their knees, but she was a shifter and mad as hell, to boot. They dragged her out of her cell and tried to kill her? Fuck them, and fuck their lousy assassination. She wouldn’t go down without a fight.
Mara sank to her hands and feet, then swept a leg into the ankles of the man in front of her. She bounced back up as he went down in a pile of limbs and curses. The other one grabbed a handful of hair and yanked. Asshole didn’t play fair, then she wouldn’t either. She slammed an elbow to the side and into his middle. When he let her loose, she twisted and kneed him in what she imaged must be the tiniest dick in the world. He doubled over with a satisfying groan.
The other one cut her enjoyment short. He leaped for her with a tackle worthy of any football game and took her down to the ground with him. She kneed and clawed and tore at every inch she could touch. She shoved at his shoulders and twisted with her thighs and hips until she was the one on top. She swung wildly, landing punches on his face, until arms wrapped around her middle again and dragged her away.
Brown hair and hate-filled eyes were all she registered before she was tossed against a wall. Hands wrapped around her throat and he slammed her once, twice, head cracking with pain on impact. Spots danced in her vision.
Mara growled and spat blood in his face.
“Ronnie wants you to shut your fucking mouth.”
Ronnie. Fucking Ronnie. How much money had it cost her to buy off two SEA agents?
His hands tightened around her throat. He lifted her off the ground, still pinned to the wall. Her feet scrabbled for purchase. He was bigger and stronger, and her inner beast was locked away.