by J. J. McAvoy
I was starting to realize that.
“So this is your first outfit.” T wardrobe stylist lifted up a short fitted white dress and pink heels.
I stood up only to step into the dress, and the stylist slid it up my body. The second she zipped it up, I was thankful I hadn’t eaten that ham sandwich for lunch. The dress hugged every inch of me. After I stepped into the heels, she held the door open for me.
In the hall, the photographer was already set up. Noah pretended to put his key card in the slot, his face turned back partially for the photo.
“Amelia’s on set,” someone called out as I was led just to Noah’s left. For a split second, his eyes focused on me just as there was another bright flash.
“Step on the black X, Amelia,” the photographer said, changing the lenses. I took a step over the wires, Noah moving aside to allow me to get in front of him in the doorway.
“You can still walk away, you know,” Noah whispered behind me, and I mentally flipped him off.
“Amelia, I want seduction. Noah, unzip the back of her dress.”
Closing my eyes, I tried to think of something, anything that turned me on. However, the moment Noah’s hands grabbed me, I didn’t have to think. It had been so long since any guy touched me like this.
“You still have the northern star on your back,” he whispered, his hand touching the bare skin of my back.
The northern star he was talking about referred to the set of freckles I had on my back. He always said it looked like the northern star.
“Don’t push it,” I whispered, turning to glare at him.
“I like it! Hold that face!” the photographer said, forcing us to stare into each other’s eyes for another second. Noah reached up and placed a hand on my cheek, his thumb grazing over my lips. “Genius.”
Neither of us spoke, and the longer I stayed next to him like this, the faster my heart felt like it was beating.
“Alright, Amelia, in the bedroom. Sit on the edge of the bed. Noah, stay at the door.”
I took my chance to escape with pleasure. Walking into the hotel room, I pretended to take off my earrings and then my heels for the photo.
“Great. I want to get the bed shots in room 4390, and we’ll wrap up for today.” The photographer stood up, already walking down the hall.
“Bed shots?” I asked when my makeup team came back to fix my lipstick. Another stylist was already fully unzipping the dress at my back and draping a robe over my shoulders. I wasn’t expecting it so soon.
They looked at me, confused. “Yeah. The photo shoot takes place in bed. You only need your strapless bra and underwear.”
Biting my lip, I nodded. Standing up, I followed them down the hall toward a set of brown double doors. I saw that there were at least twenty people in the room when they opened the door for me. But the first person I saw was Noah, in dark blue boxer shorts, a woman finishing the fake Roman numeral tattoo she added to his side. Another woman glossed up his abs.
“Amelia, I want you on your back.” The photographer pointed toward the bed, then faced the men working the lights.
Taking off the robe, I crawled into the center of the bed, under the covers. Noah stood at the very end of the bed, in front of me, his abs perfectly sculpted and lean. The tattoos they added— Blair’s name on his chest, the crown next to his waist, Roman numerals down his side—were so foreign to me. The last time we were this close, he was not so…defined.
“Okay, test shots. Noah, hover above her,” the photographer directed.
He nodded, and like a lion coming in for the kill, he crawled up the bed until he was right on top of me. The only thing between us was the sheets. I could smell him again. He always smelled like fresh vanilla, so calm and sweet.
“Amelia, I’m going to need you to take off your bra. It’s showing through the sheets. Where is my 39mm lens?”
My eyes widened, and I didn’t move for a second.
“You look petrified,” Noah whispered in front of me. “What happened to skin being skin?”
I felt like shit, but sat up some and reached behind me anyway. I slid off my bra and tossed it aside before laying back down.
“If you are like this during the shoot, how will you be during the movie?”
“Can you not…?” I barely managed to say, my voice wavering. “Can you just give me a break for a few minutes, please?”
I took a deep breath, trying to remind myself why I was here. But I kept seeing all the faces in the room.
“Amelia…Amelia, look at me.”
When I looked at him, he put his forehead on mine, just like he used to.
“What are you doing?”
“Do you remember our first time?” he asked, not moving away.
“Noah, this isn’t—”
“You forgot?”
“No.” I frowned. “I remember being completely embarrassed and exci—why?”
“Just go back to that moment with me, okay? Just go back to when were teenagers, excited and nervous and terrified of getting caught at Graham’s after party. Go back to how we felt afterward.”
I smiled. “You said you wanted to do it every day.”
He grinned. “You said you’d let me. Just focus on that. There is no one else here. Just our younger, dumber selves.”
Swallowing, I nodded.
“Alright, test done. Both of you, wrap up in each other’s arms. Raw and sexy.”
Doing my best to ignore the photographer, I focused on Noah, who reached under me and lifted me off the bed. My arms wrapped around his neck, our lips hovering over each other.
I asked myself, what would sixteen-year-old me do?
I sat up on my knees. He made sure to pull me closer to hide my breasts. However, I felt…his friend…press up against me. Hard.
“Noah,” I said, unable to contain my smile.
He smirked. “What can I say? I feel eighteen again.”
“Beautiful, guys. Amelia, turn around and hold on to the bed frame.”
I held on to the sheets and did what he asked. The moment I let go of the sheets, Noah’s arms wrapped around my breasts, holding me tighter.
“Amelia, give me orgasmic.”
I could still feel Noah against my ass, this time with his chest pressed up against my back. Leaning in, he whispered again. “You remember that? How I’d bury myself deep inside you, how loud you were for me, how you used to ride me, your lips parted, sweat dripping down all over you? Everyone thinks you are this good girl, Amelia, but I know a side of you that no one else could ever know. Not even with this movie.”
“Brilliant! Let’s do some solos and then break.” The photographer snapped us back to reality.
The moment he spoke, Noah let go of me and rose from the bed, leaving me breathless, horny, and shaky in the middle of the bed, gripping the sheets to my chest.
“Nice, Amelia,” the photographer spoke, but I couldn’t take my eyes off Noah as he left the room, not even looking back.
God help me. I wanted…I wanted to be back in his arms.
I wanted the Amelia he whispered about.
What the hell was wrong with me? Noah and I were a train wreck.
I wasn’t going to mistake lust for anything else.
Noah
“What did you say to her?” Austin asked me as he handed me a bottle of water when I got back into my suite.
“Nothing.”
“That didn’t look like nothing—”
As I glared at him, he thankfully shut up. Grabbing a pack of cigarettes, I walked out to the balcony, expected it to be just as sunny as it was this morning. However, the skyline was covered in thick, dark clouds, and the rain poured down with no end in sight. But I didn’t mind. I love—
“It’s raining!”
There, to my left, standing on her very own balcony with a large grin on her face, was none other than Amelia. The makeup was wiped from her face, and she was dressed in a red robe. However, the most stunning thing about her was the smil
e that graced her face. She pushed a button on the railing, and the umbrella over the balcony retracted. Outstretching her arms, she accepted the water as it poured over her. Laughing to herself, she spun around once more. However, the moment she finally came around to me, she stopped dead in her tracks. The smile on her face faded almost immediately.
She’s still so beautiful.
Her blue eyes dropped to the cigarette between my fingertips.
“No one wants to kiss someone who smells like an astray.”
I smirked. “They would if they got paid to…like you.”
“Amelia, have you lost your damn mind?” Her manager, Oliver, rushed out on balcony and slammed his hand on the button for the umbrella to expand overhead again. “What have I told you? You can’t afford to get sick right now.”
When he looked to me, he froze in place. Nodding to him, I proceeded to look back out at the city, blowing smoke from my nose. I heard him mutter something to her and the door click closed behind them. The dark clouds above roared as they moved through the sky, and I couldn’t help but chuckle.
“‘But soft, what light through yonder window breaks? It is the east and Amelia is the sun. Arise, fair sun, and kill the envious moon, who is already sick and pale with grief…’” I whispered to no one but myself.
Chapter Four
Noah
“Ugh,” I groaned, rolling over and grabbing a pillow to block the light.
“We have a problem,” Austin stated, seriously.
Patting down the bed, I reached for my phone. When I saw the fucking time on it, I fought the urge to throw it at his head.
“It’s 3:00 am. My problems can wait.” My call time for set tomorrow…wait, today was at 5:45. He’d stolen two hours of sleep from me.
“Your father’s in the lobby. This can’t wait.”
I felt a chill go up my spine, and I stayed still for a second before rolling back over to place my phone on the bedside table.
“Wake me up in two hours.”
“Noah, you know him. He will make a scene, and he will not leave until you go down there.”
Grabbing the remote from the table, I turned off the bedroom lights.
“Fine, I’ll figure it out,” Austin sighed.
“There isn’t anything to figure out. He’s out of money, so pay him and tell him to go,” I muttered as the door shut behind him.
Had it been four months already? Frank was like a clock. He needed to be reset every 121 days. It didn’t matter how much I gave. He’d always manage to blow it. It was a talent, really. He was gifted when it came to spending money. But ask the man to take care of his own kids—hell, to tie his own goddamn shoes—and he was as useless as a fly. I had gotten emancipated at fifteen, yet still, he had a death grip on me.
Sighing, I sat up from the bed, walked toward my closet and grabbed a pair of jeans along with a blue cotton shirt before heading out to the living room. Austin glanced back at me, the phone still at his ear.
“He’s in the lobby.” He hung up the phone, handing me a small carry-on bag. After all, Frank wasn’t a check person. “Do you want me to come—”
“I’ve got it.”
“Noah,” he called out when I reached the doors.
Pausing, I didn’t look back, already knowing what he was going to say. But part of me needed to hear it anyway.
“You aren’t that kid anymore. Don’t let him get to you.”
Nodding, I made it only four feet and stopped right outside Amelia’s suite door, room 2340. I had no intention of knocking or seeing her. I had no idea what I was doing, honestly, but my feet wouldn’t move. So I stood there quietly, like a stalker, until seeing my “father” didn’t feel like walking into hell.
If she saw me, she’d probably slam the door in my face. No, she’d curse me out and then slam the door in my face. Christ, that woman had a temper. I still couldn’t believe she threw a shoe at me. Amused at the memory, I found myself moving toward the elevators. However, the motion was short-lived as the doors opened and devil himself waited there, dressed in his motorcycle jacket, a black shirt, and jeans. He somehow stood taller than me even at the same height, 6’3”, and he had more body to him. His beard was gone, leaving him only with a thick mustache. His grayish-brown hair was cropped nearly to his shoulders, and the scars on his face were still as prominent as ever. But it was the smell, that horrid mixture of gasoline and alcohol, that haunted me.
“There’s my boy!” His drunken laughed echoed in the silence of the hall. His hands wrapped around me tightly as he faced the bellhop. He continued on, “What’d I tell you! This is my son! Noah Sloan. Look. Look, we could be twins, right?”
“Yes. Please have a good morning, Mr. Sloan. You as well, Mr. Sloan.” The young man nodded to both of us, pressing the doors closed. When he was gone, I shoved Frank’s sweaty hands off me. Stumbling backward, he fell against the elevator.
“You—” he started.
“You were told to wait in the lobby.”
He snorted, dusting himself off. “What kind of son makes his father wait in the lobby? I figured you were asleep, so I thought I’d—”
“You thought you’d what? You thought you’d do what, Frank? YOU DON’T DO ANYTHING!” Fuck…Goddamn it! I was shouting now. Taking a deep breath, I handed the bag it to him. “Please just go wherever it is you go, and leave me be.”
I couldn’t do this shit today.
“We haven’t seen each other in how long, and that’s all you’ve got to say?”
“What else is there to say, Frank?”
He frowned and lifted the bag. “How much?”
“Same as always. Twenty large.”
“You gotta be fucking with me, kid. Ain’t you get some new gig or something? Twenty large? I told your butt boy I needed at least seventy this time—”
“Well, you got twenty, take it or leave it, Frank. We both know the amount doesn’t matter. You’ll piss it all away—”
He grabbed my collar. “Who the fuck you talking to, kid? Who you think made you into this? If you knew the shit your mother and I went through to get you here, you’d be shoveling money into my car.”
“You’d need to have a car for that.” I clenched his wrist. “And I do know. I know everything, which is why I’m giving you one more second to let go or I’ll break your fucking wrist.”
“What you going to do, huh?” He shoved me back into the wall. “Come on! You want to finally take that swing? I heard you’re working with that girl again. That’s why you found your balls, huh?”
“Son of a bitch!” I sneered, grabbing his wrist and head-butting him. When his grip loosened, I managed to get one punch in before Austin suddenly appeared, pulling me back. The other security guard, along with Daniel, had already appeared as well. Their presence didn’t ease my rage at all. “One day, I swear to God, I’ll—”
“You’ll what? You’re still the same little bitch you’ve always been!”
“Yeah, and you still like taking my bitch-ass money, you no good cocksucking piece of shit!” I struggled against Austin’s arms, the spit flying from my mouth as I yelled at him, until finally the elevator doors closed in his face.
“Noah!” Austin yelled.
“Let go! I said let go!”
“Okay, Noah. Okay.” He backed away with his hands up.
“He shouldn’t have been on this floor!” I hollered.
“I know. It was a mistake,” Austin said.
“I can’t have those kinds of mistakes! He shouldn’t have been here!” I repeated, this time yelling at the bellhop and manager, who were both holding their radios.
“Fucking idiots…” My voice drifted off when I saw her, dressed in a white silk robe, her hair brushed over to one shoulder, her arms wrapped around herself. Her blue eyes gazed into mine. Her face was emotionless, even as I stomped right past her.
“Get me another hotel,” I said as calmly as possible, opening the door of my suite. The door hadn’t even closed comple
tely behind me before my hands begin to shake. It then spread violently throughout my whole body. Hugging myself, I staggered slowly into the bedroom, trying to reach my bedside table. However my legs gave out before I made it.
“Noah? Noah?”
My mouth clammed up. I tried my best calm down, but I couldn’t. I couldn’t control it. I just shook.
“Shit,” Austin said when he saw me rushing for my dresser. However, the bottle he lifted up was empty. So was the one in my bag…and the one in his.
“Fuck!”
Looks like I was going to have to ride this one out.
Amelia
I was halfway through my second round of the script when I heard the yelling. I couldn’t make it out. The walls were meant to be soundproof, but the closer I got to the door, the louder it became. I immediately recognized one of the voices. When I stepped into the hall, I realized I had never, ever actually seen Noah angry. Annoyed, indifferent, cold, yes—but true anger? It didn’t seem like him. He would more likely ignore you, or more often, casually insult you, and be on his way.
He was always Noah: the cocky, cold, and distant one. Even when we were young, he barely spoke unless he had some smartass comment to make. Now I couldn’t match the man I had always known in my head with the man I had just seen. His face was red, spit flying from his lips as his manager did his best to hold him back. He looked desperate for blood, itching to hurt his own father. Worst of all, his father looked exactly the same.
I couldn’t speak when he walked by me. No one was in the hall anymore, yet I couldn’t look away.
“Noah? Noah?” I heard from the room beside mine. “Shit…fuck!”
It’s none of your business. I knew that. Noah’s drama was his drama. I had more than enough of my own. Yet I kept walking toward his suite and saw that the door was still open. My heart was pounding so hard against my chest that I felt sick. I wasn’t sure what I expected to see. However, him lying on his bedroom floor was not it.
It was like a switch flipped in my head, and then I was running.
“Noah!”
“Amelia?” His manager stood up to push me back.