She rolls her eyes. “No, you’re not. But you’ll be sorry if you have detention.”
I wince at her words. She’s right. I can’t get detention. Detention is after school. I can miss basketball, because even though I love it, it’s not a requirement. My after school job is.
“Listen,” she says, leaning forward. “I need you to be someone Hollis can turn to. He’s new and doesn’t have anyone yet.”
Hollis groans in embarrassment. “Aunt Karen—”
“What?” I snap, frowning at her.
Her lips thin out. “Hollis is my nephew. He doesn’t gain favor because he’s family. You of all people know I’m fair, Roan.”
She’s right, but it’s still annoying as hell.
“I’m not going to give you detention with your friend Terrence, though he could certainly use the help cleaning off the horrible words he wrote on the vending machine,” she tells me. “You have basketball…and everything else.” She lets out a heavy sigh. “I need you to remember to stay focused, okay?”
I let out a defeated sigh. “I get it.”
“You’re not like him.” Her eyes sear into me, but I don’t believe them. I’m more like my father than she’ll ever know.
“Can I go?” I clip out, ending this line of conversation.
“You both can. I don’t want to see either of you in my office again. Make nice with each other. You’re both adults, so act like it.”
Chapter Three
Hollis
LUNCH TIME USED to be fun. I had friends. Lots of them. Plenty of guys and girls I could sit with. We laughed and joked and talked. Sometimes we studied. Mostly we planned whatever parties were coming up.
It wasn’t like this.
Not even when I came out to everyone that I was gay.
This is weird.
Fucking creepy.
People eye me curiously, but don’t offer a seat. The room almost comes to a hush—the air crackling with electricity as they wait.
Wait for what?
I scan the crowd looking for the kid Gio I met this morning. Nothing. I’m seconds from abandoning lunch altogether when someone sidles up beside me.
“Hey, new guy,” the brunette girl from my algebra class chirps. “Looking for a place to sit?”
She’s pretty. If I were into girls, I’d find her attractive enough to want to date. I can definitely tell she’s interested in me. It’d be smart to come right out and tell her I’m gay so she doesn’t waste her time.
But…
Things are weird around here and I will take what I can get right now. If that means befriending a girl who thinks I’m potential boyfriend material, so be it.
Turning on my charm, I grin at her. “I would love that. This school is bigger than my old one. It’ll take some getting used to. Call me Hollis. And you are?”
“Sidney.” Her green eyes brighten as she grabs my elbow and points. “The girls and I sit right over there. Wave to Wendy.” A girl with blond hair and a big smile waves goofily at us. I wave back. “So let’s get food and talk about the next Campfire Chaos.”
I allow her to lead me to a line. “Campfire Chaos?”
“Everyone who’s anyone goes. It’s something the Hoodlums started when everyone was in middle school and it’s been going strong ever since.”
“We camp?”
She laughs. “Among other things.”
What other things?
“I’ll have to ask my mom.”
Her brows lift as she blinks her long lashes at me. “Aren’t you adorable?” Then her lips part. “Oh, wait. You’re serious? You really have to get permission?”
I cringe at her words. It’s on the tip of my tongue that our family has been going through some shit and I’m just trying to give my mom the respect of asking. Sure, I’m eighteen and can technically do what I want, but I don’t know if she needs me to babysit or has family stuff planned.
“I’ll see, okay?” I say, winking at her.
Her cheeks turn pink and she nods. “Okay. I really want you to come. You can share a tent with me.”
Oh crap.
Back up, Hollis.
Slow your fucking roll here.
“I, uh,” I start, but then I’m shoved out of line. I stumble a few steps and knock into some kid who barks out something in annoyance. When I swivel around, I come face to face with the guy from this morning who was with Roan. The stomach pains I’d been managing just fine come back in full force. I almost double over and have the urge to puke.
“Jordy!” Sidney screeches. “Don’t be an asshole!”
Jordy cracks his neck, his dark, nearly black eyes searing into mine. The guy is a bit bigger than Roan. Meaner too, it would seem. Violence ripples from him and I don’t want any part of it. I’ve never been in a fight in my entire life.
“Back of the line, fuckface,” he sneers, gesturing with a nod of his head in that direction.
“You can’t do this,” Sidney whines, but losing her fire when he peels his stare away from me to glower at her.
He takes a threatening step toward her. My stomach pains and the fear of a fight dissipate as I worry about the girl. I stalk over to him and step in front of her.
“Don’t.” I say the word quietly but laced with warning.
The crowd hushes.
“Or what?” Jordy bites out, bumping his chest to mine.
I want to swipe the spittle off my face, but I’m staring at a venomous snake. One false move and I’ll regret it.
“She’s just a girl,” I grumble.
“And so are you.” His grin is wolfish and evil.
“Let’s go, Hollis,” Sidney utters, grabbing my elbow.
I tug my arm free and don’t take my stare off Jordy. “We were here first. He can’t take our spot in line.” It’s not right.
Jordy laughs. “You have no idea whose goddamn school you walked into, do you?”
“This is my school now too.” I may not say them as vehemently as he does, but there is fire in my words. I believe them. I’m here for just a few months, but I’ll be damned if I let a couple of bullies make my life hell for no reason.
Before Jordy can go off, I feel his presence. Roan. Like a tidal wave of hatred growing so high it blots out the sun before obliterating everything below it. He’s about to crash into me and drown me.
“You heard him. Back of the line, rat. I won’t say it twice.” Roan’s stare is seemingly bored, though I notice the tick of his jaw and the way he has his hand fisted in Jordy’s hoodie.
I could maybe take one. But two? Hell no.
“Whatever. I’m not even hungry.” I shove past them, clipping Roan with my shoulder like he did me and away from the crowd of weak bystanders. Everyone just stood around and watched. No one intervened. That dude was about to kick my ass and no one cared. What’s wrong with these people?
“Hollis, wait,” Sidney calls out.
I ignore her until I get into the hallway outside of the cafeteria. She regards me with a pained expression.
“Are you okay?” she asks, reaching for my hand.
I cross my arms over my chest to avoid contact. “Yeah. Just another shitty thing to add to my already shitty day.” I let out a heavy sigh. This is not me. I don’t feel sorry for myself. Normally, when faced with a craptastic situation, I’d find the good in it. Forever an optimist. But now that we’ve been displaced and I’m in some level of hell, I can’t find it in me to try. “I’m sorry, Sidney.”
“It’s just Jordy being Jordy. He doesn’t hurt girls. That was all show for you.”
I let out a sigh of relief. “I don’t know what their problem is with me.”
“They’re Hoodlums,” she says as if this explains everything. “They’re used to telling people what to do and them listening. Once you get used to them, they grow on you. They’re not bad all the time.”
Another sharp pain seizes my stomach as my skin flushes with a cold sweat.
“I’m going to head to the nurse.
I don’t feel so hot.” Not a total lie. I feel like shit, but I’m not going to go to the nurse.
“You know where to find me and Wendy. They’ll leave you alone now,” she promises, but I can tell by the flicker of her green eyes she doesn’t believe it.
I flash her my widest, albeit fakest, grin. “I’ll be back.”
“Oh good. And ask your mom about Campfire Chaos. Friday night after the basketball game, everyone heads over to the river. Cal’s dad owns a campground over there and we have permanent access to part of it. As long as we don’t trash it, he lets us use it. It’s really fun,” she promises. “Everyone drinks and roasts hot dogs. In the summer, we swim. In the winter, we cuddle up and stay warm.” Her smile is flirtatious and hinting of ways we could stay warm.
The thought of sharing a tent with Sidney really makes me feel sick.
“I’ll ask.”
“Goodie! Now give me your number so I can fill you in on the details.”
After we exchange numbers, she gives me a hug. The girl is shorter than me and feels right tucked against me. Right in a “just friends” kind of way. It’s selfish of me to want to latch onto her knowing she’s interested in me for other reasons besides friendship. Regardless, I hug her tight anyway, thankful of her kindness, no matter her motives.
We pull apart. She bounces back into the cafeteria, pleased at having gotten what she came after, and heads over to Wendy. I feel an angry stare on me. I’m ready to back out without finding the source of the stare when my eyes lock on his.
Roan.
He sits hunched over his plate of food, eyes on me, as he eats like it’s his last meal. I’m reminded of how a lion looks as he tears into a gazelle he’s just slaughtered.
A chill that has nothing to do with my stomach issues ripples through me and I visibly shudder. One corner of his lips quirks up in satisfaction.
Fuck him.
His eyes seem to glitter with challenge.
I hate backing down to these assholes, but in this moment, I do. The last thing I want to do is puke my guts up in front of the whole school. So, rather than running off with my tail between my legs, I shoot him the bird.
And then I get the hell out of there.
_______________
I sit in the driveway, my forehead against the steering wheel for a long time. Probably an hour. Maybe two. When I walk in that house, I’ll have to deal with Charlotte and Penny and Aunt Karen. Today, I don’t have the energy for it.
A coldness settles in my bones the longer I sit without the heater on. There’s snow in the forecast for this evening, but not enough to cancel school tomorrow. Pity. For someone who always loved school, I’ve done a complete one-eighty. This school sucks. I want to blame the Hoodlums for being assholes or Mom for bringing us here or Aunt Karen for not getting a handle on those monsters. But I know better.
It’s Dad who’s to blame.
He ruined our lives.
Hot, angry tears burn at my eyes. I squeeze my lids closed, hating that wetness escapes, streaking down my cheeks. I’m so tired and I’ve only just begun. In minutes, I’ll have to go inside, put on a fake face for my family, and pretend everything is okay.
My stomach clenches violently, reminding me nothing is okay.
Sitting back, I swipe at the stupid tears and swallow down bile in my throat. I should have eaten, but the Hoodlums made that impossible. My stomach churns at the prospect of eating anything at this point.
I climb out of my Mustang and slam the door too hard. It feels good to release a little tension. I’m just walking up to Aunt Karen’s front door when I hear a loud engine echoing down the street. Stopping in my tracks, I whip around to see a familiar Ford Explorer pull up in front of the house.
Shit.
How do they know where I live?
Did they follow me home?
Dread consumes me, making all my bones feel like jelly. I know Sidney said they wouldn’t hurt a girl, but it still worries me considering I have a houseful behind me. Jordy’s dark eyes lock on mine from the driver’s side through the window, but he makes no moves to get out. The passenger door flings open and Roan hops out.
Fuck.
He has a bag slung over his shoulder that’s seen better days. Sweat clings from his hair and his face is slightly red like he’s been running or working out. All I can do is gape. It’s cold as fuck out here and he’s wearing basketball shorts and a T-shirt—the hoodie and sweats from earlier long gone. I hate that the motherfucker who’s been nothing but an asshole to me sparks a physiological response in me. My dick twitches as I rake my stare down his muscular form that glistens with sweat. Thank God I have my messenger bag slung across my front hiding my semi.
Our eyes meet and Roan’s flash with gold fire.
Hate. Anger. Bitterness.
Not violence.
I don’t let my guard down, though. If he’s going to try to kick my ass, I’ll be ready.
“Who’s that?” a voice says from behind me. Charlotte.
“Go back inside,” I grind out, glancing at my little sister. “Now.”
“No,” she sasses, her blond ponytail swishing back and forth.
Roan is no longer looking at me as he opens the back door. A girl with brown hair and glasses climbs out. She sort of stumbles, but he steadies her. Confusion washes over me. What the hell is going on around here?
“Roux?” Charlotte exclaims. “Oh my God!”
My sister tears off in a full sprint to go hug the girl about her age. Roan scowls, shooting a glare my way like I’m some accomplice to whatever the hell is going on.
“Char,” I call out.
She grabs Roux’s hand and tugs her toward me. “This is my new best friend Roux. We’re in most of the same classes together. And now she’s here!” Then she frowns. “Why are you here?”
Roux fidgets, her face turning red, and looks down at the dead grass. “I, uh, I—”
“It doesn’t matter,” Charlotte chirps. “Now you can see my room. I have to share with Penny and oh my God she’s such a slob, but we can still hang out. Oh! Do you like birthday cake ice cream? Aunt Karen bought some and it’s so good.”
Roux seems relaxed at my sister’s nonstop rambling. Roan cracks his neck. If I had to guess, he wants to kill me for unknown reasons. What else is new today?
“Why are you here?” I blurt out.
Charlotte scoffs. “Hollis! Don’t be a butthead!”
Roux flinches at my words, which makes me feel like an ass. It sets Roan off, though. He stalks over to me and pokes my chest with his finger. “Watch the tone you take around my sister.”
Charlotte blinks in surprise. Back home, we were well-liked. Popular and revered. She’s never seen such animosity from anyone before. The tension between Roan and me is so thick and cloying you can taste it.
“Ms. Frazier tutors me,” Roux explains softly. “I’m sorry.”
Guilt swells up inside me. “Don’t be sorry, kid,” I say, injecting lightness into my voice for her sake. “I was just confused. Aunt Karen is inside. Go on in.”
The girls hold hands and walk inside. Roan stares after them, an unreadable expression on his face. He turns, waves at Jordy who takes off, and then looks down his nose at me.
“Stay out of my way, rat.”
Chapter Four
Roan
I SHOULD GET great satisfaction each time he flinches at my insults, but it only makes me feel dirty inside. Is this how Dad feels when he asserts dominance over anyone who isn’t him? I hate my dad and don’t want to be anything like him.
But I also don’t like Hollis.
He’s already seen too much of me.
It was one thing for him to see that me and Ms. Frazier have an agreement. It’s a whole other for him to see Roux. Roux is a vulnerability not many are allowed to know about. I protect her at all costs. She has no one but me. Sure, she has Jordy and Cal and Terrence and Ms. Frazier and a couple others, but that’s it. Her father is in prison and her mo
ther’s a fucking addict.
“Close your mouth, rat, or you’ll catch snowflakes.”
The promised snow has just started to fall. Tiny flakes of white dust his features that look as though they’re carved in porcelain—not unlike the dolls Roux used to have when she was little. Guys aren’t supposed to look so perfect. Perfection isn’t real anyway. It’s unattainable and fucking ridiculous. Still, I can’t look away from his face.
Why not?
My skin heats in an uncomfortable way I don’t understand. All I know is the sight of the snowflakes dusting his long, dark blond lashes and settling on his slightly pink cheeks is one I can’t look away from.
His brows furl together and his blue eyes flash with anger. I’m not like Sidney or Miss Fields. I can see right through his façade. He wants everyone to think he’s as perfect on the inside as he is on the outside.
He’s not and we both know it.
I hoard this secret just like he knows about Roux.
I’ll be damned if I let him use her against me.
“Why are you here, Roan?” he demands, his arms crossing over his chest.
It’s cold as fuck and I’m still dressed for basketball practice. We’re standing outside arguing. I hate this kid.
My eyes skim over his preppy coat in disdain. “I’m here to work.”
“Work?” His probing expression contorts into one of confusion. “Doing what?”
Jesus. Does this family not talk about anything?
“Doesn’t matter. You don’t pay me.” I start for the door when he grabs my still sweaty, but now chilled bicep. His touch sends fire racing through my arm.
“It matters. Tell me.”
I shake off his grip and throw a finger in his face. “You don’t get to order me around, rat. Just because I work here doesn’t mean it involves you. So fuck off.”
His lips press together and I note that they’re full and pink, like a girl’s. I don’t know why the hell I notice his lips, but I add it to the growing list of annoying shit he does. I’ve known this guy for a day and he’s already the most obnoxious person in my life. That’s a lot considering my mom has a revolving door of horrible boyfriends.
Bully Me: Class of 2020 Page 68