Bryn glided over to Jake and threw her arms around his neck. They’d been in an on-again, off-again relationship all year. Currently, they were on. I stepped up to Lil, wrapped my arms around her, and lifted. When she rested her arms around my neck, then leaned in and touched her lips to mine, it took effort on my part to keep my excitement under control.
“Last one in is a rotten egg!” Bryn yelled. She shimmied out of her shorts, took off at a run, and leapt off the dock that her brother Drew had built last summer.
“What are you, twelve?” Jake said as he pulled his shirt over his head. He went in after her.
Lil laughed. A lovely sound.
My grin grew as she stripped off her own shirt and shorts to reveal a string bikini the color of cherries.
“You heard her,” Lil said. “Last one in is a rotten egg.” She gave me a quick peck on the cheek, ran down the dock, and did a crazy jump into the pond.
And I thought… maybe we would make it through this dark time after all.
Ten
Lil
Bryn and I arrived at the Kuster farm at just after noon, and Mr. Kuster’s annual Fourth of July celebration was just getting going. A bunch of the men were still setting up tables and chairs under a large open tent, but apparently beer was already being served, and people were laughing and having a good time.
Bryn and I were in charge of delivering enough southern fried chicken to feed five hundred people. I was glad Grammy had allowed us to use her Subaru Outback to transport the food—I didn’t want my new car to smell like fried chicken, seasoned flour, buttermilk, and grease for the next several days. My clothes would not be so lucky.
Bryn must have been thinking the same thing, because she picked up a chunk of her chocolate brown hair, curled to perfection from a set of hot rollers, and sniffed it. “I will never get this smell out of my hair.”
We opened the back hatch, where aluminum containers were stacked for days.
“That is a shit-ton of chicken,” Bryn said.
I laughed in agreement.
“Greetings, ladies,” Jake said as he and Coop approached. “Looks like you two might need some help.”
The two boys had been helping with setup since early morning. Coop had been “volunteered” by his father, and had forced Jake to come along with him. According to Coop, this hard labor was his dad’s idea of punishment for the two of us having snuck onto Mr. Kuster’s farm.
No one ever punished me for that. I guess they all assumed I’d been punished enough.
“I can’t get over how much chicken Barb fries every year,” Coop said. He put an arm around me, and after a kiss to the side of my head, lifted a stack of containers. Jake grabbed some more, and the two of them, accompanied by Bryn, headed off to the food tent—a smaller tent just beyond the main one.
As I watched them go, I thought about Coop and me. Two months ago, I would have said we’d be married shortly after college. We’d have two and a half kids and an equal number of golden retrievers in the perfect house with our perfect lives. Now I just lived each day hoping for a decent night’s sleep, aided by the medication my psychiatrist prescribed. Far too often I woke with terrorizing thoughts in the darkness, only to be followed with anxiety the following day. Sometimes that anxiety was so paralyzing that I had to cancel plans with Coop or Bryn. I would either lie out by the pool or tell Grammy I was into a really good book and then hide out in my room.
So I didn’t know what would happen with Coop and me. That night had changed me, and it was all I could do to not bring him down with me as I fought to recover.
“Hi, Lil.” My mom had come up behind me.
“Hey,” I said. “I didn’t think you were coming today.”
“Well, since it’s the only way I get to see my ungrateful daughter, I felt I had no choice.” She slurred her words. It was barely noon.
I tried to make casual conversation. “Grammy said you’ve been working a lot.”
“Is that what she told you?”
“Yes. Is that not true?”
“Oh, I’ve been working. Did she tell you where?”
I shook my head.
“My boyfriend—and quite possibly your next daddy—got me a job at his high-end club in Lexington.”
I angled my head. “High-end,” I said. “As in, you’re a stripper now?”
“Exotic dancer,” she spat. “I guess you’re gonna say you’re embarrassed of your mother. That you’re too good to be the child of an exotic dancer.”
“I wasn’t going to say that at all.” I swallowed hard and let my eyes dart to the faces around me, wondering if anyone was overhearing this conversation.
“Good. Then the way I figure it, you could come work alongside me,” she said. “I figure with the way you dress these days, and with the decisions you’ve made with your boyfriend, you’ll eventually follow in my footsteps. You could always start now.” She followed her insults with a laugh that made the hair along my neck stand on end.
I looked down at my simple red tank top and denim shorts, and wondered what she saw. I was dressed very sensibly for a summer picnic.
When I looked up at my mom again, I saw something I had missed before. There was a slight bruising beneath her left eye covered with thick makeup.
I reached out a hand to brush my fingers against her skin. She was a terrible mother, but I most certainly would never want her to be beaten. I wanted her to find happiness.
“Is your boyfriend hitting you?” I asked quietly.
“Don’t you dare touch me.” She jerked back, stumbling. “He’s the best thing to ever happen to me.”
“I doubt that,” I said without thinking.
“You little bitch!” she screamed. “You have no right to judge me.” She stuck a finger in my chest. “You think you’re better than everybody else.” She waved a hand around to gesture to the people around us, stumbling again. “You always have.” When she found her footing, she got up in my face. “You’re nothing but a slut. That’s why they picked you to kidnap. They wanted to make a buck off of my daughter. Sell you for exactly what you’re meant to do with your life.”
“Hey!” Coop screamed. He wrapped his arms around my mom and dragged her backwards, out of my face.
Coop’s father, Sheriff Daniels, and Mr. Kuster came rushing toward us as well. Of course they did. My mom had been screaming. Everyone had heard exactly what she’d said to me. Everyone.
“Linda, how about we go someplace and cool off?” Sheriff Daniels said.
“I’m just talking to my daughter,” my mom said, shrugging off Coop’s hold. “There’s no law against that.”
“No, but there is a law against public intoxication.”
“I’m not… drunk,” she spat.
“Okay. Well, if you don’t want to go to jail right now, I suggest you and I take a walk and discuss it.” He took my mother by the arm and guided her away, giving me a pitying nod as he left.
Jake and Bryn came running.
“Wow, your mom is hammered,” Jake said.
“Lil, are you okay?” Bryn asked.
“I’m fine,” I snapped, then immediately regretted it. “I’m sorry.”
“It’s okay.” She touched my shoulder. “You can snap at me all you want.”
My hands shook at my sides.
“Let’s take a walk,” Coop said.
“Yeah,” Bryn agreed. “Jake and I will get the rest of the chicken. You guys go.”
Coop and I didn’t speak as we walked through the woods that separated Mr. Kuster’s farm from the Gentry and Day farm. I was too angry to talk. I was literally trembling. I was just glad Grammy hadn’t been there to witness that.
We stopped in a clearing where the Days had set up a rustic wooden bench in honor of Frank Day, who died several years ago. Coop and I knew Frank Day’s kids, Finch and Faith—Finch was set to graduate with us, and Faith was his younger sister. We didn’t hang out with them much these days, but we’d all been friends growing up.
They also had a stepbrother now, Ethan Gentry, who they gained when their mother married Ethan’s father. We’d probably see them all at the picnic later today.
We sat down on the bench. Coop slipped his hand into mine and forced me to look at him. “Lil… you know you can talk to me, right? I feel like you’ve closed yourself off from everyone, including me. Especially me.”
My lips tugged downward as I fought the emotion that threatened at Coop’s words. He was right.
“You sound like Grammy.”
“Do I? That means I’m not the only one who thinks you’re avoiding talking about what happened. You can’t keep everything in.”
“I talk to a therapist every week.”
“That’s good. But you can talk to me too. If you want. If you need to.”
I sighed. “God, Cooper. I have to get away from this town. Away from her.”
“She shouldn’t have talked to you like that.”
“She’s drunk.”
“Of course she’s drunk. That’s no excuse.”
“She thinks I deserve to be sold into sexual slavery.”
“That’s not what she said.”
“Isn’t it? She’s told me so many times that I deserved what almost happened because of the way I dressed. And since I couldn’t keep my legs together with you, that proves I’m a slut. Just like she was at my age.”
Coop stood. “Stop it! I won’t let you call yourself that. You are not your mother. You never could be.”
“Aren’t I? The only thing that makes me any different is that I didn’t get pregnant.”
Coop stared at me, but said nothing. The silence that stretched between us was deafening. I’d hurt him, and I knew it. Seconds passed. I looked away as tears threatened.
“You didn’t mean that,” he said finally. “You and I have something that your mother has never been able to find.”
I let my eyes find his. “I’ve decided to accept the spot at the New York art school.”
If I hadn’t been watching, I would have missed the moment when Coop flinched. He recovered quickly, though.
“I think it’s the best decision for both of us,” I continued.
“What is that supposed to mean?”
“I just think you and I need space.”
“If you want to go to art school, that’s great, Lil. It really is. But don’t tell me it’s because you and I need time apart. You might need space, but don’t speak for me as if you’ve asked me what I need. Because I’ve never needed anything other than you.”
“A lot’s happened, Coop.” My voice cracked a little.
“And no one is more sorry about that than I am.” He moved a rock around with his foot. When he looked up again, his face was red, and there was worry in the crease between his eyes. “Why are you pushing me away? We agreed that it didn’t matter where you went to school, that we’d find a way to stay together.”
In the distance, some firecrackers popped, one after the other. Some kids must have gotten impatient.
“Lil, do you not want to be with me anymore?”
The sound of running footsteps and laughter interrupted us before I could answer his question. Bryn and Jake had found us.
“Hey! Everything all right?” Bryn asked, coming to a stop.
Jake ran up behind her, wrapped his arms around her waist, and twirled her around, making her squeal with laughter. But her smile quickly faded when she saw my face.
“Can you give me a ride home?” I said.
Bryn looked from me to Coop and back to me. “Sure.”
Coop remained silent. I supposed I had given him all the answer he needed.
“Who needs this ol’ stupid summer picnic anyway?” Bryn said, in a weak attempt at a joke.
“No, I didn’t mean that,” I quickly said. “You should come right back. I really just want to be alone.”
“Of course. Let’s go.”
I turned to face Coop. I couldn’t tell if he was angry or sad. He said nothing as I stepped to him, stood on my toes, and gave him a kiss on his cheek. “I just need some time. I’m really sorry.”
Bryn and I went back through the trees to Grammy’s car. We hadn’t even pulled out onto the country road before the tears fell.
Eleven
Lil
Present Day, Twelve Years Later
The moment the rental car’s headlights lit up the “Welcome to Paynes Creek” sign, my phone rang. It was as if the people who lived here—all 8,553 of them, according to the sign—had a sixth sense. They knew the exact moment one of their fallen had returned to the scene of the crime—the crime of growing up and getting the hell out of their hometown, vowing to never return. Or perhaps the real crime was the inevitable crawl back home, far too often with their tail tucked between their legs.
My phone eventually stopped ringing, sending the unwanted call to voicemail. Then immediately it began ringing again.
With a sigh I grabbed it and answered on speaker. “Was there a camera at the border alerting you to the moment I arrived?” I asked Bryn.
“What? No. You were supposed to text me when you landed. I like it when you’re on the ground. You know I worry.” Bryn was the motherly type. A trait my own mother had never possessed.
“Sorry. A lot on my mind. My luggage didn’t make it, and then I had to rent a car.”
“You know, there are any number of people who would have picked you up at the airport.”
I held back another sigh. Only a few people were supposed to know I was coming into town, and I wasn’t ready to face any of them. “I know, but I was going to need a car for the week anyway, so—”
“A week!”
I held the phone away from my ear to save my eardrum.
“You’re only staying for a week?”
“Calm down. A week is plenty of time to help Grammy.”
“Yeah, if every one of us pulls seven all-nighters, only stopping for pee breaks and fast food. You know Grammy isn’t going to allow us to eat McDon—”
“Bryn! Breathe. I’m here. We’ll negotiate the length of my stay later.”
“Oh. Okay. Good. Where are you now?”
“I’m just getting into town. I—” I was cut off by a loud bang, like a gunshot, and felt the lurch of my rental. “What the…”
“Lil? What was that? You okay?”
My car was pulling to one side. “I think I just blew a tire. Great. What else is going to go wrong tonight?” I pulled over to the side of the road, came to a stop, and turned on my hazard lights.
“I’m gonna call someone,” Bryn said. “Where exactly are you?”
Before I could answer, flashing red and blue lights lit up my car from behind.
“No need. Help just arrived.”
“What do you mean?”
“It appears that the local police are here to save the day. I’ll call you back.”
“Wait!” Bryn called out. “There’s something I need to tell you.”
I took Bryn off of speaker and held the phone to my ear as I climbed out of the car. A tall police officer was striding toward me, and though his cruiser’s bright lights prevented me from seeing his face, the way his T-shirt hugged his chest and was tucked into a pair of jeans, he was both fit and off duty. He rested his right hand at his hip, which I assumed was out of habit and not because he was about to draw a sidearm.
“Lil? Are you there?” Bryn asked.
I lifted my hand to block his blinding headlights. “Yeah, I’m here.”
“Look… about the police—”
The man stopped in front of me, and that was when I saw his face clearly. “I’m going to have to call you back, Bryn.” I hung up and lowered my arm. I was pretty sure the thing Bryn needed to tell me was standing directly in front of me.
A grin twitched at the corner of the man’s lips. “Lil Thomas,” he said, as if he didn’t believe what his eyes were seeing.
I swallowed. Hard. Cooper Adams was the first man I had ever loved. He was also the first
and only man to ever break my heart. Soon after, I vowed to never speak to him again. That didn’t last, of course. Last I’d heard he was off in Washington DC being an FBI agent and saving the world. Yet here he was, in Paynes Creek.
Looking at him produced a very violent bodily response. I glanced to my side, looking for a place to throw up… just in case.
“Lil?”
I looked back at him. Focused on his dark brown eyes. Damn it, Lil, say something.
“Cooper,” I managed, swallowing my nausea. “What are you doing here?”
“I saw you pull over to the side of the road. Thought you might need help.”
“Not what I meant. What are you doing here in Paynes Creek?” And why had no one warned me that he was here?
“That’s a long story. The short version is I’m a Paynes Creek police officer.” He nodded to the rental. “What’s the problem?”
“What?”
“You have your hazards on? You stopped on the side of a dark road? You’re obviously having car trouble.”
“Oh. Yeah.” I gave my head a shake. “Sorry. It’s just—” I was struggling to think straight. “It’s a rental. I blew a tire.”
He walked past me. Examined the shredded tire. Then, without bothering to ask, he walked to the driver’s-side door, opened it, and popped the trunk. “Why did you get a rental?” he asked as he pulled out my carry-on and began digging for the spare tire.
“Why wouldn’t I?”
“I’m sure plenty of people would’ve been glad to pick you up at the airport.”
I angled my head. “Are you on that list?”
He straightened and turned to me. “If you had called me, sure.”
I narrowed my eyes. Crossed my arms. “What’s the verdict? With the car?” I nodded toward the trunk.
“There’s no spare. I’ll call Barry and have you towed.”
He spoke as if I knew exactly who Barry was. I’d never heard of Barry. I hadn’t lived in Paynes Creek since I was eighteen, nearly twelve years ago.
Truth is in the Darkness (Paynes Creek Thriller Book 2) Page 5