Kelsey started blabbing away as we weaved in and out of the crowded hall. She waved at anyone and everyone who crossed her path, but I kept my head down. I wasn’t in the socializing mood…but then again, was I ever? Besides, I wanted only to get to class without a Jack run-in. It was bad enough having first hour with him, but it was a good thing we got to pick our spots every day, that way I wouldn’t be forced to sit next to him.
“Hey Jack! How’s it going?”
I stiffened, I couldn’t move. I was stuck right there in the middle of the hall, with legs that apparently had a mind of their own. Well, crap, I guess I spoke too soon.
“Emmy hey,” Kelsey nudged me in the ribs with her elbows, pushing me in the back with her other hand. I glared down at her, and held my fingers against my now, most likely, bruised side. Wow, when had this girl gotten so damn strong? “Jack’s coming over, look alive.”
She grinned, I groaned. We made one hell of a duo… Slowly, I glanced to my left, gasping quietly as his gorgeous blue eyes came into view. But they also held laughter in them today, and it kind of made me want to poke them out with my thumbs.
“Hey Kelsey. Hey Strawberry. How are you ladies doing this morn?” That damn sexy smirk was aimed solely towards me, and it took all my self-control not to squirm under his heated gaze. I sucked my lips into my mouth, trying to keep my breathing normal as he practically crawled inside my brain with that look. Why was he always so intense, hardcore?
“I’m good, but running late. Gotta go, see ya later, girly!” Kelsey giggled, gifting us with a very un-generous wave before she sprinted towards another group of girls down the hall. Yeah right, Kelsey hurrying to class? What a load of crap.
“So…you get everything moved back into your house then?”
I frowned. What…like my one duffle bag? I swallowed my sarcasm as his looming, six-foot stature hung over my shoulder. Maybe he was actually trying to be sweet for once. Guess I’d try to give him the benefit of the doubt. He did rescue me. Twice.
“Um, Yeah, I did. I really needed to be with my brother, you know?”
He nodded; he was definitely more of the silent type. Kind of like me in a way…
We began walking side-by-side, like we were two buddies, having a normal convo. Then the vision of that motorcycle ride came back with vengeance. My arms wrapped around his waist, the way one of his hands had laid over both of mine. The warmth of his leather jacket pressed against my chest, my thighs wrapped around his body…okay, not in school. I totally had to get my head out of the gutter, fast. Besides, I couldn’t continue to get caught in his spell, especially now that I knew about their little, family secret.
“I’m sorry.”
I blinked, his arm brushed against mine, the tingles were as powerful as ever. I pulled away.
“For what?”
“That your little brother got hurt…” he paused, pulling me to a stop right, “… but I’m not sorry that you weren’t there. I’m not sorry at all. That could have been you Emmy.”
I groaned in annoyance, totally not needing a lecture at eight in the morning from a supernatural freak-a-zoid like him. He wouldn’t know a real life situation if it hit him straight between the eyes.
“Hey, don’t walk away from me Strawberry! I want to talk to you!” Jack hollered from behind as I strolled away. Then his hand gripped the back of my shirt, pulling me to him, giving me no choice in the matter whatsoever.
I sucked in a lung full of air, his touch, even through my shirt was sensational–electric. I turned around to glare at him. Damn him–I couldn’t get this feeling every time he touched me. It wasn’t…normal!
“You’re doing something to me aren’t you? When you touch me…” My jaw flexed from side to side as I stared up at him. I mean, I wasn’t exactly planning on calling him out on our little supernatural skin connection thing right there in school, but like always, my mouth didn’t know when to shut off.
He grinned down at me, shaking his head with a laughing snort. “You watch too many movies, Strawberry. You must feel better when I touch you. Admit it…you like my hands on your body.” He grinned harder, pulling me back into this little secluded space between the girls’ and boys’ bathrooms. My mouth dropped, but I stumbled along next to him anyway. His assumptions and bold moves were not something I was used to. What in the hell was wrong with me? I should’ve been decking this guy’s kissable lips–not admiring the fullness of them as he pressed them together to hold back his laughter.
Shaking the stupidity out of my head, I pulled my arm out of his grasp, snarling like Zachary had done the other night. I swallowed hard at the thought of Zachary. Damn, would I ever get the site of his snout and teeth out of my head?
“Stop it Emmy, stop thinking about him.” Jack’s lips were pressed into a tight line. Wow, now how in the hell had he known what I was thinking?
He threw his arms out to the side in the what-don’t-you-get sort of way. “Your smell changes when you think about him. It’s like this sickening sweet smell. It gives me a damn headache.” He backed away even more, pressing his palms flat against his forehead. I gaped at him. What the hell? He got headaches because of a smell that I was supposedly putting off while thinking about his cousin?
Um, yeah, weird…
I frowned, my arms crossed. I didn’t know how to respond. I was so weirded out, that I didn’t talk. So I shook my head, turned around, and walked the hell away.
This time though…he didn’t bother to follow me…
* * *
The day went by surprisingly fast, but I couldn’t help but notice that Jack never actually showed up to first period… I tried not to let that bug me, but the pained look on his face after the whole weird smell my thoughts thing in the hall, stayed with me for the rest of the day.
“O M G, Emmy, look over there!” I looked up at the sound of my best friend’s paranoid voice, as she pulled us into my driveway. I pushed my brows together, glaring towards the direction of her pointed finger, noting right away what she was freaking out about.
Zachary was there. And he was surrounded by what appeared to be at least four large crystal looking vases, all filled to the brim with nothing but red roses, right there on my front porch. My palms immediately began to sweat as I took in his tall form from head to toe. Seriously…what was he doing there? He was supposed to be away at his um, wolf school. He had some serious balls to be showing up like this.
Kelsey looked over at me; confusion masked her eyes as she pulled us up to the front of the house. I couldn’t move though. Nor could I breathe. And I sure as hell knew that I couldn’t face him.
“Are you okay? I mean, do you want to leave? I figured you’d be happy to see him and all…if not, then say the word Em, and I’ll take us to my house.” I glanced down at her hands, noticing how tightly she was gripping the leather on steering wheel. Huh… I mean, I knew that Zachary wasn’t her favorite person and all, especially since he’d left like he had last spring, but still…
I shook my head, looking back over at him, “No. Just drop me off,” I grumbled, “I need to talk to him anyway.” I reached down to grab my bag, running my other hand through my tangled hair. I opened the door, feeling my legs shake as I pushed myself into a standing position.
I could do this. Totally. I mean, it wasn’t like he was going to eat me in my own house right?
“Hey…you sure?” Kelsey hollered through the window from behind.
I gave her a quick smile over my shoulder. “Yeah, I’m good…” no, I really wasn’t. What was a girl supposed to do when the guy she once thought she was hopelessly in love with showed up like this? And it wasn’t like I could tell Kelsey the truth either. She’d be calling the loony bin if I wasn’t careful and accidentally let the truth slip out about why I was really freaking out. Besides, I had to at least try to give him the benefit of the doubt, right? Even if I couldn’t trust him not to keep his teeth away from my neck. I shivered at that memory of how close he came that night, wonder
ing…what would happen if he had gone through with the biting thing? Would I have turned into a wolf? Would I have been bound to him like some sort of sick love slave or something?
Ack.…This wasn’t how I wanted to spend my senior year, dammit! I was hoping to pass my classes, graduate, and then move the hell out of this town, not worry about real live wolf people. Still though, I had time right? I mean life’s greatest surprises are always the ones left undiscovered. Yes, positivity was the way to go, even though nothing about this entire situation seemed positive to me…
The gravel crunched underneath my shoes as I made my way up the driveway. He inched forward on the porch until he stood at the top step. His entire face was tense; his hands were tucked into the front pocket of his jeans. I gulped, making that first plunge up the steps to meet him. There would be no going back now. I was stuck.
“Emmy…” Zachary sighed in what appeared to be relief, his shoulders slouched, his entire face eased. I really had no idea what he was relieved about. He was in a shit load of trouble in my book.
“What are you doing here?” I chewed on my lip, moving around him when I made it to the top of the stairs. His arms, once outstretched as if he was readying for a hug, fell to his side with a slap.
“I couldn’t stay away, Em…I couldn’t be apart from you anymore.”
I groaned, frustrated and angry and irritated with his sudden neediness. He reached out for me again, “Emmy…please?” I hesitated, looking down at his hands. The very hands that, only days ago I witnessed changing into wolf paws. Big wolf paws. With nails. Long, sharp nails.
“I…I don’t know what to say Zachary…”
“Say you love me; tell me you can forgive me for not being honest with you.”
I shook my head and moved towards the door, “It’s not about the honesty, it’s about the way you went about telling me…or should I say showing me.”
I shoved the key in the door, but it wouldn’t budge. Crap. I twisted, I pushed, but I couldn’t get it to turn. Maybe too, it was because my hands were still shaking something fierce.
“Here, let me help you…please!”
I froze as his arms reached around my waist. He pulled the key from my hands, his fingers brushing over my skin. His breath was hot against my cheek, and I cringed, praying he wouldn’t start with the whole neck smelling, licking thing again. I didn’t like the neck thing.
Well…at least not when he did it.
The lock easily clicked open under his hold, but he didn’t move away. He hovered, his front pressed to my back, his hands on the door handle. I figured…if he wanted to nibble on me, then that would have been the ultimate time to do so.
One second, I opened my eyes.
Two seconds, I contemplated stomping on his toes.
Three seconds, I held my breath.
Four seconds, he finally backed away.
Phew…I could breathe again. Don’t ask me why I felt the need to let him in behind me as I went inside though. Maybe it was an old habit I couldn’t break. Or maybe it was the fact that I was getting used to the idea of him being a wolf boy instead. Who knew really? I flung my bag on the couch, realizing that this might have been the stupidest idea I’d ever had, because seriously…there was nobody around to save me this time if things went bad.
I’ve gotten by before without anyone’s help, so I sure as hell could get by if he turned into a dog again. That’s when I began to wonder where exactly my mom hid the sharpest knives…
I entered the kitchen, he followed. I turned around after grabbing a glass of water from the sink, and he was there, hanging by my side like my third leg. Jesus…he never used to be this obnoxious.
“Can’t we talk? I mean, you kind of owe me your ears so I can explain things to you…” he whined.
I slapped my glass onto the counter, and scoffed at him. “I don’t owe you anything, Zachary.”
He pushed me back against the counter top. “Um, I kind of think you do.”
“You’re delusional,” I shook my head; his face was only a few inches from mine.
“We were in love once…happy. Why can’t we go back to that again?”
I gritted my teeth, clueless as to how I should answer him. I mean, yes, we’d been together for two years. He was the supposed love of my life once too! But as I stared up at his beautiful face, his gorgeous hazel eyes, and his perfect mouth, I realized that I had now zero feelings for him in that way anymore. Zilch. Nada. Maybe love as a friend, but nothing beyond that…
“You’re not you anymore…you’re not the same person you once were. And neither am I…”
He tucked a strand of my hair behind my ear, before trailing his fingers down the side of my face. I bit the inside of my cheek and tried not to stiffen, but his touch…it was so unfamiliar anymore that I really didn’t know how to react to it.
He stared at me in that whole eyes-pulled-together-in-complete-anguish kind of stare. “I am me still… with another form added to my body occasionally. I think like a human when I’m in my wolf form, I feel everything still,” he pounded on his chest, “…especially here.”
I stared down at my hands, pressing them flat against my stomach, willing the sudden ache away. A tiny part of me wanted to hug him, to reassure him even, the part that still held memories of us as a happy, sixteen year old couple. Maybe I could have accepted him as a wolf boy…eventually…but I didn’t feel it. I didn’t feel us. Time really did change everything apparently. Especially emotions. And now…all I wanted him to do was leave, at least until I could figure out this whole supernatural thing. And I was hurting too still from his abandonment, his lies. He’d done it once before, who’s to say he wouldn’t do it again, only worse the next time?
“There’s so much you don’t know, so much I want to tell you,” he backed away from me and sat along the edge of the counter. He crossed his ankles and swung his legs back and forth. “I don’t want you to freak out on me, Red. Just hear me out. That’s all I’m asking for.”
I nodded; I’d do that, but nothing else. I jumped on the counter top next to him, but a few feet away. He sighed heavily, as if he was disappointed in our distance. This was as good as I could give him. “Listen,” he ran a hand through his hair, “…all shifters have mates,” he cleared his throat, “…you know, like the one person out there who is made for you and only you, the one person who you have to have by your side for forever?”
I groaned, dear God, not the mate thing again. This was all too much. This crap wasn’t supposed to be real! “What…am I like, your mate or something?” I snickered, with absolutely no humor invading my insides. Nervous yes, ha-ha funny? Nope. Like I said once before, I had a tendency to giggle when my nerves were shot to hell. And that they were…
He paled at my question. The worst part was he didn’t answer it either. “Do you believe in fate, Emmy?” He swallowed heavily, “… you know, the whole thing having to do with following your destiny and stuff?”
I shrugged, leaning back against a cupboard door. Sure, I knew what fate was. And I also knew it had a way of biting you in the ass when you didn’t expect it to…or biting me in the neck was more like. And what the hell did fate have to do with any of this anyways?
He frowned, running both of his hands through his hair this time. The nervous vibes practically radiated from his skin. God, I hoped he had his other self under control this time.
“Shit…I um…I’m not doing this right.”
“Just spit it out Zachary,” I groaned, and in return, he grinned back at me, tilting his head to the side. I held my breath, seeing the tiniest piece of his old self in that one look. The piece that I had been so crazy in love with once upon a time.
“You're right, I’m sorry. Okay, well…I’m not even sure how to answer that question for myself, Em, but I will tell you that I believe we can all make our own choices, which leads us to the possibility of choosing our own fate.” He was confusing the heck out of me. And I also had no clue where this conversation
was going either.
I nodded though, pretending to understand his almighty Zen lesson. I was done beating around the proverbial bush, he needed to talk, and then he needed to go. “Yes, I think I understand what you mean. And I agree. I know that you can’t always control the outcome of things. But when it comes to righting wrongs and fixing the past to make the future better, then I’m all for it.” Where was he going with this?
His breath shook as he exhaled; he practically robbed the entire kitchen of any and all oxygen. His hazel eyes were soft, frightened, and they continued to stare over at me, unwavering, hopeful even too.
“Emmy…you have a destiny baby, to become someone’s mate. I’m not sure why that is, but I can tell. So can my dad and Jack, too. You belong to someone; it’s something in your blood. It calls to us. We can smell it on you. It might not technically be me who you are fated to be with, but I’ve been trying to change that because I love you. I want to be that guy for you!” His hand pressed against his heart. I gripped the counter’s edge hard within my fingers.
Crap…what was he thinking? I shook my head, “Um no. That’s not going to happen, Zachary. I don’t belong to anyone. And I’m certainly not ready to be somebody’s mate either. Jeez, I’m only seventeen you know!” I jumped off the counter and moved towards the other side of the kitchen. I spun around when I made it to the back door, “…besides, no one gets to choose my fate, except for me…even if I am supposedly promised to you, or some other Tom, Dick, or Harry wolf.” I snorted at my own wolf joke, but the angry look on Zachary’s face showed me that he wasn’t obviously feeling my joke today.
I turned my head away from his glare to stare out the curtainless window. With my arms still crossed in defiance, I watched the autumn winds blow ominously through the trees of my back yard. A shiver of unease danced up my spine as Zachary grumbled low in his chest.
“I’m being serious here Red, why can’t you–”
“And I’m not? Jesus, Zachary, I don’t believe in this shit!” I slapped my hand against my chest. I was all about playing up the tough girl act. It was my only defense against my anxiety anymore.
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