“Emmy please. Just don’t… I…I can’t.”
And just like that, my stupid traitorous heart, the one I let do all the thinking for me anymore, rushed rapidly inside my chest, beating me to oblivion, reminding me that this was all a mistake. I was stupid, and I was affected, and dammit…I really needed to go home.
He cleared his throat, but didn’t speak to me again. Good.
I worried my lower lip as he started his bike. The loud revving noise thankfully covered up my tiny blip of a frustrated growl. Then when I felt myself relax, felt myself ease up for the briefest of seconds, an unexpected broken sensation overtook my insides. I gasped, the sudden abandonment, the loss and pain, it was sharp and stabbing, and it grinded away at my chest, as well as my head. I pulled myself further into Jack’s backside, as if his nearness would somehow take the mysterious aching away. And he stiffened, mistaking my grip for something else apparently.
Holy mother of God…I was having a heart attack at the age of seven-freaking-teen. What. The. Hell?
“What is it, Emmy?” Jack questioned, over the loud roar of his engine.
I shook my head, unable to speak. Really though, how did I explain these freaky feelings to him? How did I explain that I currently felt as if my entire body was being ripped to shreds from the inside out? Would he understand? Would he care even? For some reason though, I couldn’t tell him anything. I think it was because I didn’t want his sympathy over what was probably only sadness and heartburn fighting hand in hand inside my gut.
So in a surprisingly calm and reassuring voice, I responded back to him, hoping that the nervousness and panic wouldn’t show through. “I’m fine Jack. I’m worried about my mom and brother, that’s all.” He gave a quick jerk of his head, as he pulled us away from the house.
There was really no logical explanation as to why I suddenly felt as if I’d suddenly lost everything good in my life.
Chapter Eleven
My mom and Jamie were perfectly fine when I got home last night. In fact, they were beyond fine, laughing and smiling together, while making dinner in the kitchen as a matter of fact. It was a sight that I hadn’t seen in like, ever at my house actually. I even wound up joining them, feeling somewhat normal for the first time in weeks. There was no wolf crap, the feelings of loss, dread and pain had suddenly minimized too, and best of all, there was no step-douche to get in the way. It was only the simplicity of home and happiness… I could totally get used to that feeling, let me tell ya.
But when I slapped my hand on my digital alarm clock at five this morning, I felt nothing but sleepiness, and pain creep back into my chest and head. I struggled to pull myself out of bed. I forced my feet to stand on the floor. And I made my butt sit in my thankfully unharmed chair. I had to read. Yes, I know, that was a ridiculous concept, but it was something I had to do! I needed the normalcy of everyday things in my life, especially since my life was way, super abnormal anyways. And books to me, were the absolute epitome of normalcy.
Even as I sat there, warm blanket and hot chocolate in hand, I literally felt like throwing it all away due to the reappearance of this chest, and head pain shit. So with an annoyed growl, I tossed the book back down on my bed, only to close my eyes in yet another attempt to relax. Still, my inner turmoil never eased.
“Sissy?”
I blinked the sleepiness away at the sound of Jamie’s voice, sitting up a little straighter in my chair. Feeling zero annoyance towards the little man wandering into my room so early in the morning, I opened my arms and invited him in with promises of an early morning snuggle and some warm chocolaty drinks.
“Come on, Jay man, I’ve got some hot chocolate here with your name on it.”
With his favorite blue blanket in hand, he ran the rest of the way into my room, landing on me with a too-early-in-the-morning-for-my-taste, karate leap. He snuggled deeper into my lap, head lounging against my chest with his little boy warmth intermingling with my own. With his rowdiness forgotten, I silently wrapped him in my arms and hugged him close. He sighed, curling his knees up into his chest. His eyes, bright, stared back up at me with adoration, and my heart melted fully for the little-man who mattered most to me.
“I had a bad dream…”
“Oh yeah? Those Super Mario bad guys get you again? I told you to use the fire power on them.” He shook his head, face void of any humor. My shoulders slouched when I noticed how badly his fingers trembled, even from under his cast.
“What’s up, buddy? What’s got ya so spooked?”
“The bad man in my dream…he took you and that boy with the yellow eyes away,” he blinked, two tiny tears slipped from his eyes. My big sister anxiety kicked in and I quickly brushed them away. “He locked you in a cage, and then another man came. That man hurt you.” My body stiffened at Jamie’s cryptic retelling of his dream. Shit. He was four, yes, but this scenario was hitting way too close to home for comfort, especially with my mood being as ominous as it was.
I tried to relax. I tried to keep my smile light. And as I stared down at him, running my own shaking fingers through his curls, I couldn’t help but let the fear take hold again. I hated when that happened too, because I had no control over fear. Fear was a bitch. I hated it more than I hated my step-douche, and that was saying something. That’s also when the pain from yesterday came back with vengeance, stabbing me deep in the pit of my chest, killing my insides slowly, metaphorically speaking of course. I rubbed my free hand along my chest, trying my absolute best to soothe the ache, even willing the thing to leave me alone. It didn’t. If anything, it only worsened.
I cleared my throat and tried to appear as un-phased as possible, using my words to soothe him the best that I knew how. “Well, it was only a dream, buddy, so no need for the tears, okay? I’m right here, and other than going to school, I don’t plan on being anywhere else but here with you.”
He nodded at me, looking unconvinced with his sleepy blue eyes staring pitifully up at me. He curled up as close as he could possibly get without actually crawling inside my body. And eventually, thankfully, his tears subsided as I rocked him back and forth in the chair.
I changed the subject, in order to try and lighten the mood, but his dream still lingered in the back of my own mind, rather ominously might I add. After another half hour passed, I finally felt his body relax against mine. His breathing became deep, lulling, as he slowly closed his eyes. Finally he’d nodded back to sleep.
If I was being honest with myself, then I had to admit that I didn’t want to put him down. Having him near me, having him with me at all was the one thing that seemed right to me, the one thing that seemed acceptable in all the chaos that encompassed my life now. Unfortunately my mother’s pattering feet outside my door reminded me that I had to escape from this fantasy, because the real world of high school awaited me, even though I didn’t know how I’d possibly get through this day feeling this shitty.
* * *
Luckily, my mom had taken the day off work and I was able to drive her car to school, something that never happened. Kelsey called at the last minute to let me know that she wasn’t going to be at school today either. Apparently she’d been hooking up with some new nameless dude, and caught a nasty case of the stomach flu from him. Well, at least that’s what she said. I didn’t know if I believed her or not, especially since she wouldn’t even tell me the guy’s name.
The wicked, awful pain that had been sitting inside of my chest for the past two days hadn’t gone away. If anything, I could now at least comfortably describe the pain as more of a bad case of heartburn, rather than a feeling of death building inside of me. I sat in first period, twirling a locket of my hair around my fingertip, unable to contain the new emotions building inside of me as I waited for Jack to get to class. Anticipation, eagerness, who the hell knew what all these feelings were anymore…
I wasn’t exactly sure what to expect when seeing Jack again, especially since he was so tormented and broody while dropping me off the night b
efore. I took in the sight of him strolling into class, definitely coming to the conclusion though, that yes indeed, Jack Hartman could get a hell of a lot moodier than I’d ever imagined.
Great. Just, freaking great, broody Jack was back…
I sighed, and bit my lip, willing his eyes to connect with mine, but from the way his jaw was clenching, I’d say it was definitely not going to happen, especially since I could almost hear the sound of his teeth grinding in his mouth from my desk.
He sat behind me like always, caddy corner to my left. I bit my lip harder, holding tight to my desk to keep me from turning around to look at him. I clenched my pencil tight between my lips, somehow keeping myself in check. I had to remember, I wasn’t his mate, nor was I his girlfriend either. So I really had no right to ask him anything personal. That didn’t stop me from wondering anyways. Was it Zachary, did they somehow meet up again and get into a brawl? I wouldn’t put it past them…
I was sitting there, contemplating the meaning of all things Zachary and Jack, when a deep gut wrenching growl exploded from behind me. I stilled, but I couldn’t hold back any longer. I had to see him; I had to know why he was going all-out broody again. It was only a quick glance over my shoulder, but it was enough to make me realize that he was not at all focused on me. In fact, his eyes were one hundred percent glued to the front of the room. I turned back around in my chair, refocusing my confused gaze towards the front, curious as to what he was getting all freaky about. That’s when I noticed the new teacher standing at the front of the room. The thing was this teacher was no old man…he looked more like a boy, and couldn’t be more than a few years older than my classmates and me.
A few girls sighed in unison as he turned around to write on the chalk board. I leaned forward in my seat, deciding that it was time to conduct a thorough examination of his body. Long hair to his chin, big beefy muscles covering his body, protruding from under his short sleeve Polo. The man in front of us was a sexy beef cake…times ten.
With big exaggerating swoops of his arm, he wrote something down with his chalk. Then he stepped back, and immediately the words he’d written, Adrian Hartman, set a bunch of warning bells off in my head. Adrian Hartman…Adrian Hartman…Jack’s relative, really? I had no idea that Jack had any other relatives besides the Martins. I guess that showed me how little I knew about Jack after all.
“Good morning everyone, my name’s Adrian Hartman, and I’m going to be your substitute for the next month, while your teacher Mr. Givens recovers from surgery.” My hands tensed over my desktop as I took in the striking specimen of a man before me.
His eyes, holy crap, they were as blue as Jack’s, only a little darker along the edges, but equally as striking. Instead of Jack’s spikey hair though, his, hung a bit above his chin. The color was identical, along with the strong looking jaw, and the too high to be a man’s, cheekbones. There was no doubt in my mind that this guy was somehow related to Jack.
“I look forward to spending this month with you all…” His eyes searched the room, until they singled me out. A slow tilted smirk appeared on one half of his mouth as he stared solely at me. I shivered in place, an icy tension floated up my back. Mr. Stunning had stepped into the Mr. Creep-o zone.
An even louder and more hideous growl than before erupted from behind me. I tore my gaze away from the teacher, and blew out a breath. I was beyond relieved for the break in our weird connection thingy, but at the same time I questioned what the hell was going on in Jack’s head to get him so pissy.
“Ah yes, now you all probably don’t realize this, but Jack back there is my baby brother.” He motioned ahead with his hands, and the entire class turned to face Jack. I squirmed in my seat at the attention. Granted they weren’t focusing on me, but still, I was in the same vicinity. “Some say we could be twins if it weren’t for the four year age difference and the length of our hair.”
A few giggles erupted at his remark, but not from me. This guy had game coming out of his butt cheeks and the last thing I needed in my life was another Hartman screwing things up.
“Just get on with it, Adrian…” Jack whispered angrily. It was loud enough for me to hear, but his brother nodded with a smile anyways. Crap…did he have super, human wolf hearing too? Just freaking awesome…
The rest of the class was apparently too enthralled with the man before us to notice the irritated and maddening voice of Jack, thankfully. I heard it though, and that was enough. Apparently the whole brother being his teacher thing was the sole reason for his crappy mood.
The rest of the period slowly inched by and I debated on feigning a headache so I could leave early. Feigning was no longer necessary by the time the five-minute bell rang. My head was pounding so badly, that my vision began to blur. I saw spots. Thoughts of an aneurism were not be very far off from the truth anymore. The only thing that gave me any reason to stay put was the fact that I absolutely needed to talk to Jack. Not sure why that was. Call it intuition or something, but this whole older brother becoming a teacher so suddenly seemed really…off to me.
“Jack…” I whispered, grasping the sleeve of his black hoodie as he walked by. He shrugged me off, staring down at me with hatred centered in his eyes. Dammit, I needed him for once, and he was going to play me like that? The stupid son of a…
“Let go, Emmy.” His voice was hard as he peeled my hand from his sleeve. At that point, I was in so much pain that I couldn’t even respond to his crankiness. I mean yeah, yesterday didn’t end all butterflies and flower like, but it wasn’t entirely my fault by any means either.
My hand dropped onto the open textbook in front of me, and I felt him stiffen at my side. And without a second to spare, he was down at my level, a look of growing concern played out on his face. It was about time he got it. “Shit. What is it Em?” His voice was soft now and his eyes glimmered with concern.
My only response to his question, before I fell face first onto the floor, was a simple, “Help me…”
* * *
“You bastard! You told me you weren’t going to pull any warlock shit on her, Adrian. You promised me!” My breath caught in my throat as a tender hand brushed over the top of my sweaty hair.
Wait, wait, wait…warlock shit? Adrian was a warlock? I must have hit my head a little too hard when I fell because I was obviously not hearing correctly.
“It was only supposed to be a simple calming Spell Jack, nothing to make her react in that way. She was terrified of me. You saw it and I know you felt it too. I couldn’t let her freak out in the middle of the class.”
“Well shit, the way you were staring at her had me freaked out too, Adrian. She’s not yours.”
“Yeah um, she’s not exactly yours either, little brother. You keep forgetting that little piece of information though, don’t you?”
I finally forced my eyes open into tiny slits. I had no idea what the hell was going on, but I did know one thing. Sitting cradled on Jack’s lap in the middle of this classroom was probably not a very good idea. Then his hand started to rub comforting circles along my back, and I couldn’t help but forget my worries as I relaxed into him again. Hell, at this rate, the world could end, and I wouldn’t have a clue, or a care. Just as long as I could die right there in Jack’s lap, with my ear pressed against his chest. I seemed to be in this position a lot lately, which wasn’t good for my take-charge girly reputation. The faint pitter-patter of his heart was the most calming sound in the world to me. And somehow or another, the achiness in my chest had eased up for the first time in fourteen hours.
“Goddammit, I know she’s not mine, you idiot. She never will be either. She’s Zachary’s…”
“Bitter much, brother?” Adrian laughed, but Jack only responded with a sigh as he continued to rub slow loving like circles against my back. Apparently Jack wasn’t too fond of his brother’s humor. “Bond or not, you’ve got it bad for this girl, brother.” He sighed. “Get it in check, or I’ll be forced to, well, you know…”
With
that last little strange tidbit, Adrian walked out of the room, shutting the door behind him. I sucked in a breath. We were now completely alone.
“I know that you’re awake, Emmy. I could tell by the way your heartbeat tripled.” Shit, wolf senses. How could I have forgotten?
Slowly, I ran a hand over the tender spot on my forehead, the spot where I must have smacked it on the desk. The lump was beyond ginormous. I didn’t want to separate from Jack, he felt so safe and warm, but unfortunately second period called.
My head collided with his chin as I pushed out of his hold to stand. “Son of a bitch, Strawberry…you have a damn hard head.” He chuckled, rubbing his chin with his hand.
I cringed, slipping out of his hold completely to lean up against a desk, “I’m sorry Jack. It’s just that…I’ve got to get to class,” but a wave of dizziness had me thinking twice as I attempted to catch my footing. I pressed a hand over my forehead to try and gain some control, to keep the dizziness at bay, but I was failing. Miserably.
I tried to balance myself, and my knees buckled beneath me. This time though, Jack was there to catch me, his warm arms surrounded me once again in all his knight-like glory. A soft ‘whoa’ fell from his lips, caressing my ears with the warmth of his breath as he pulled my backside flush with his front. He steadied me, kept me upright, but his touch brought on another round of emotions. The one’s that I’d been fighting since he’d moved into town. Need, want…desire, all the scary emotions that I now associated with him.
Turning to face him, a weird boldness took over my insides as I pressed my palms against his chest. I’d like to think that I was only doing it to stay upright, but I couldn’t deny how much I liked it either. And then I stood on my tiptoes, letting all thoughts go by the wayside as I shut my eyes.
Resisting Fate (Predetermined) Page 13