My hands buried deep into his fur, but I couldn’t stop looking at Kelsey's stern face. All traces of her earlier sadness was gone, in its place was irritation, anger. I didn’t understand how she could like one wolf, but completely despise another. Zachary had never personally done anything to her as far as I knew.
“Hey, sweetie, how’re ya doing?” Mrs. Martin’s voice startled me out of my wandering thoughts as she kneeled down next to her son, scratching his ears and head. His head was currently sprawled out across my lap, with his jaw hanging wide open, his tongue lagging out to the side. His eyes were shut, whether it was out of contentment or sleepiness, I wasn’t sure.
“I’m okay,” I cringed, as my burns singed across my skin. I knew they weren’t going to go away on their own, only an extended hospital stay or something that I didn’t even want to consider right now was going to fix me up.
“Let’s get you to the car. I’ve got gauze and some antibiotic lotion we can swab on there if you’d like. That might help the pain a bit.”
“No. I’m not leaving him. I mean…I can’t leave him.” I nibbled on my lip and she smiled sadly at me, nodding as she stood. Her gaze left mine, only to focus on the new person walking towards us. I held my breath, not wanting to look because I was scared of who it might have been.
“It’s taken care of, but the elders…they’ll need to come for the uh…mess.”
“I understand. And how is–”
“He’s hurting… It’s going to take some time…maybe a lot of time…but he’s tough.” My back stiffened up as my ears took in Mr. and Mrs. Martin’s conversation. I knew exactly to whom Mr. Martin was referring, but I didn’t pretend to listen. I wasn’t supposed to care about Jack and how he was feeling. I made my choice to walk away from liars like him and I wasn’t going back.
“Hey, Emmy, we need to get you back to your place. Your mother thinks you stayed with Kelsey last night, but since you have school today and you’re not in any shape to go, we’re going to have to come up with a reason for the marks on your body. She won’t be pleased.”
I jerked my head up, finally focusing on Mr. Martin, realizing once again that I completely forgot about my mom and Jamie. Crap. I lowered Zachary’s head to the ground, but like a live wire, he was up at my feet before I could really even stand up fully myself. His eyes looked up at me with adoration, and he whined. I smiled down at him, scratching his head in reassurance behind his little brown ears. He whimpered as if silently trying to communicate something with me. I frowned slightly, why didn’t the whole mind-talking thing work with him?
“She’s got to go, Zachary, but your mom’s going to take her home. How about a run…just the two of us?” Mr. Martin slipped off his shirt and my face flushed as I turned from his face, to his wife. Crap, I totally ogled Zachary’s dad. I had to admit, I’d never seen a forty-eight year old man with abs that fantastic before.
Holy crap…
I shook my head, refocusing on Kelsey’s, “Hey, I’m uh, leaving too. See you guys later.” I had almost forgotten she was there. I moved to go say a private goodbye to her, but I found a wolf at my heels, emitting a low growl instead.
“Hey, I’m fine, Zachary, its only Kelsey.” He looked up at me, face losing the snarl, but the low grumble of disapproval was still there in his throat. I scratched his head to calm him before leaving him behind.
My footsteps faltered as I neared her. A sad, distant look was there on her face as she stared over my shoulder. I glanced back to see what she was going all doom and gloom about, only seeing Zachary as a wolf and nothing more. I cleared my throat, and she jumped back, startled obviously. Right away her frown diminished, turning into a smile that was anxious, fake even. Totally not Kelsey like at all.
“Looks like you’ve got a guard dog now.” She motioned with her hands, her voice cracking as she spoke.
I smiled softly at her, nodding in agreement. “He was always kind of like that, ya know, minus the fur in his ears.” I tried to giggle, hoping that it would ease the tension, but again, she only nodded as her eyes went distant on me once again.
”So, I’ve got to get home, Em. It’s going to be killer at school today, but I’ll be sure to take notes for you and stuff…”
My forehead creased in confusion. Talk about jumping subjects…“Of course, Kelsey, that’d be great.”
I flexed my hands nervously in front of my body, while she took to nibbling on her fingernails. This awkwardness between us had to go. Kelsey and I didn’t get awkward. I wish like hell I knew what happened within the last three minutes to get to this point.
“Okay, so um, tell everyone bye for me, and I’ll see ya in the next several days, I guess.” She shrugged, digging around in the pocket of her hoodie, before extracting her keys.
I gnawed on my lip, hating this sudden abrupt goodbye. So I grabbed her, hard, wrapping my arms around her neck as if I was trying to keep her there with me for forever and then some.
“I love you, Kelsey.” I mumbled, suddenly fighting away my tears.
“Ditto, babe.” She returned the hug, fiercely, almost as though she was as desperate as I was.
I knew now how short and fragile life could be, I’d never again take the chance of not saying a proper goodbye to someone again, even if it was my best friend who I knew would be there no matter what.
Finally, she turned and left, her retreat hasty. Not a single wave or slip of her hand was there as she jumped into her car. For some reason the strange urge to cry full on completely overwhelmed me again, but I fought it. I was done with the tears today. I’ve dealt with a near death experience, betrayal, and now pain, but the tears I could at least control myself.
“Hey, kiddo. We’ve got to go too.” Mrs. Martin gently tucked her arm around my shoulder, leading me back towards her SUV. I leaned into it, catching a glimpse of Zachary’s wolf running playfully around the yard with his now very similar, wolfy father.
Nipping, playing, chasing tails, it was simple, happy even. And I smiled as they darted towards edge of the woods. The playful calmness of the moment had me grinning like a fool.
“They’re so happy when they’re like that,” Mrs. Martin turned to face me, as they rounded the path to head deeper into the surrounding woods. Her soft hand patted my forearm, nothing but pure tenderness was her eyes as I stared back up at her. “There are perks to being with a wolf, you know. You’ll never get bored with them around, they’ll protect you until the very end, and they will love you, even beyond life itself.” I tilted my head to the side, curious as to what she was getting at. “Sometimes, I get jealous that they have that bond with one another,” she grinned and shook her head, as if she couldn’t believe she was saying what she was. “Don’t get me wrong, I love them both deeply, like I know they do me, but they will always have a more powerful bond because they are connected on that sort of level, you know.” She smiled sadly at me, a knowing look glazed over her tear-filled eyes. I swallowed, my throat becoming painful as the dryness took over. I didn’t like where she was going with this…
Before I had a chance to respond, something black caught my eye at the front door of the cabin. I gasped, whether out of fear or something else, as I took in the sight of Adrian slouching next to it. His face was downturned, but I could see his defeat already.
“I’m going to go to the car now sweetheart. Nothing will happen to you, I promise.” She nudged me with her hand. “You do need to go to him, if only to tell him goodbye.”
“No,” I growled, gripping her arm in fear, terror even. She couldn’t leave me alone with Adrian and Jack. Especially when Adrian almost killed me, and Jack lied to me, betrayed me. “I can’t, Mrs. Martin. Please don’t leave me alone with them.”
“You have nothing to fear from Adrian anymore…” she sighed, smiling sadly. “His father stripped him of his powers before he died. He’s nothing without his powers now.
My brows pulled together, “H–he’s powerless now?” I stuttered, “Are you sure?”
“Very.” She smiled morosely before giving my back a slight nudge forward.
I trusted Mrs. Martin, with my life, so I went to him, like the good little girl she wanted me to be. Once I started to move, it was no longer her nudge that drew me towards him. It was the need to feel our connection. The addiction I’d never break. And whether we’re miles from each other or even inches, I knew I’d never be able to stop the invisible pull that I felt towards Jack Hartman.
The heat of Adrian’s stare was hard, but I didn’t look his way, and he too didn’t speak to me. I could see him stiffening out of the corner of my eye, as if he was the one fearful of me now. Finally, I directed my vision towards him, watching him, subconsciously waiting for him to do something to me, even though I knew he couldn’t. I was bombarded with the memories of him stabbing me with that needle, and that wasn’t something I couldn’t shake. I shuddered.
My feet crunched against the dry leaves that covered the ground, and a sudden feeling of sorrow hit me as I noticed him retreat towards his brother’s bike. For some reason, a strange need to reassure him cast over me. It’s not like I should have or anything, he did turn me over to his father and all…
Still, he did try to save me too…
“It’s going to be okay, Adrian, I don’t…hate you.” I bit the inside of my cheek, hoping that he could actually hear my soft mumbles of encouragement.
He stiffened a second later, before nodding slowly at me. His face stayed stoic, but I could see the relief there, if only for a second. Then without a second though, I refocused on Jack, readying my goodbye. One breath in, one breath out, it was time to face him, to face the inevitable.
His wolf form was beautiful, his lithe movements even more. And in less than a second, he was there, only a foot before me. I jumped back, startled, pressing a hand over my heart in attempt to stop the racing. “God, Jack,” I groaned, “… you scared the shit outta me. Give a girl some warning before going all flash lightning on me like that!”
He cocked his head to the side, looking at me through eyes that shone like a tanzanite. They were enchanting, and filled with hope, maybe even a little fear as well. I sighed, finally gaining the courage to close the last few inches that separated us.
I’d seen Jack in his wolf form before, but never this close up. For some reason, I needed to reach out to him, to touch him, maybe this one last time to curb my cravings. Would his fur be as soft as Zachary’s was? Would his tongue be rough against my skin if he licked it? My hands were finally rewarded with a lick and a lot of black fur, and I gasped and giggled at the gentle contact. Damn he was soft, so soft in fact that I couldn’t help but tangle my fingers through his black coat. He was softer than a cat, softer than Zachary. It was breathtaking.
Do not compare me to a cat, Strawberry. I am a wolf.
I sprang back with a squeak, landing flat on my ass, jarring my tailbone in the process. I groaned. That was yet another injury to add to my already battered body.
I’m sorry Strawberry. Please…let me help you.
I blinked in disbelief as his nose pressed into my shoulder, urging me upwards. I obliged, but the pain made it almost impossible. Besides that, why did he want to help me out in the first place? He lied to me. He most likely wanted horrible things to happen to me, right?
I didn’t want you to be scared of the fact that my father was in town, Emmy. I was trying to protect you, really I was. I’m sorry. I was dumb, an idiot. I will always hate myself for what my father did to you. I…I love you.
I gulped in a lungful of air. He’d said it, granted it was with his mind talking crap, but still. He’d actually said it. Wasn’t he too late for it to count in the end? I squeezed my eyes shut, stamping an official and final mark onto my statement. Yes, for sure, he was entirely too late. And I didn’t forgive easily either…
I have always loved you Strawberry, even before Zachary ever saw you. I know I told you I didn’t care about you back then, but I needed you to know. I knew you were mine the moment I first saw you walk through the doors during the first day of our freshman year of high school.
I shook my head, needing him to stop with the whole sweet and tender side. I was supposed to hate him; he was supposed to hate me! This wasn’t in the plans! He wasn’t supposed to get all swoony with me! Damn him! I wanted to punch something, kick something even. I settled on digging my nails in to my palms, pushing them so deeply into my skin that I was surely drawing blood.
Turn away from me Strawberry… He commanded.
I cringed at his harsh tone, “No!” My body shook as I wrapped my arms over my chest. Every inch of me felt as though I was coming back to life after being frozen away in a block of ice. I couldn’t turn away from him, I no longer trusted him! So I held my chin up high and let my stubbornness take hold.
Fine, have it your way then…
Bones crunching, fur slowly giving way to bear and rippled tan skin, My mouth fell open and I blinked when I realized that Jack was shifting back, right there in front of me. Immediately my curious gaze roamed south as he took his human shape. Hey, I’m a girl, and I couldn’t exactly help the fact that he was…well…a boy, with boy parts. I squeaked as I caught a fast glimpse of his um, manly parts, which also just happened to pop out at me like a Jack-in-the-box. God…my humor…it came when I totally didn’t expect it to. Jack-in-the-box? Seriously? Ugh…
Damn, damn, double damn! Definitely didn’t expect that to happen today. “Shit Jack was that really even necessary?” He slipped some pants on, and I stared up at the sky.
“I tried to warn you, Strawberry,” I lowered my chin, leveling our faces again. He shrugged one shoulder style.
“Umm, yeah, well, I think my eye balls were damaged!” I lied. Oh no…they were far from damaged actually. Intrigued? Yes. Damaged? Nope.
He chuckled. I tapped my toe, hating how easy our banter had come back.
“And I know you’re not sorry either, so don’t even think about apologizing…”
“Awe, come on now, don’t be shy, you know you’ll be thinking of me naked when you go to sleep tonight.” He laughed, bending over at his waistline. The sound echoed in the early morning air.
Confused and bewildered, I glowered at him. Hadn’t this guy just murdered his father only minutes ago? I bit my lip. Maybe he really was losing it after all.
He sighed and then cleared his throat as our eyes connected a second later. He was the epitome of serious in that moment. All joking went by the wayside as he stepped forward and reached for my hands. I pulled them behind my back, not trusting myself. If I let him touch me, then I wouldn’t be able to hate him anymore. And I was already struggling with issues as it was.
“I want to help you Emmy…please. It’s the least that I can do. Especially after–”
“No,” I snapped, panicking as I stepped backwards. I hated how much I wanted him to touch me. I pressed one of my hands over my quivering lower lip as I spoke, “I don’t want to further the bond with you. Not now, probably not ever.”
His eyes glassed over. Regret and pain seemed to cloud the blueness that I so loved. I tried not to let it bother me, but that was damn near impossible the longer he stared down at me.
He closed his eyes, “It’s not going to further the bond, Emmy, I promise.”
“I don’t trust you, Jack. Besides, you told me before that—”
“I know what I told you, Em.” He sighed in frustration, reopening his eyes before brushing his fingertips along the side of my face and down my chin. I shivered. How did I ever think that hating him would work? I would always need his warmth, his comfort. And unfortunately, I would always need him too.
I inhaled as he pressed his other hand against my cheek as well. “I know you’re confused right now.” Confused? Hah! I wasn’t confused. I was terrified, terrified that he would hurt me again if I let him back into my life.
“And you’re not going to be bonded to me anymore. You broke our part of the bond when you saved my cousin.
You chose him…whether you realize it or not.”
Jesus…this was a nightmare. It was never a choice between the two of them! Jack always had me. It’s just that my brain had finally won out in the control department, shoving my heart to a distant second when it came to making decisions from now on. And it told me to stay as far away from Jack as I could.
I pulled his hands away. The face touching was too intimate, too loving. “I believe you,” I whispered, “Now…do what you have to do to make me better.” I shut my eyes, holding my arms out to the side as I waited for him to work his magic on me.
“Relax then,” he whispered and sighed. His body pressed against my front like butter on pancakes and I wanted nothing more than to melt into him.
His hands curled around my waist, his breath was hot against my ear. “Now breathe deeply Strawberry.” I did, oh boy did I ever. “Yeah, that’s good. Perfect.” Comfort and all things Jack lulled me into a state of peace. Thump-thump, thump-thump, his heartbeat was the only sound I could distinguish, the only reminder I needed to know that I was still alive and in his arms.
“Okay,” Jack’s scratchy voice replied with a whisper. He was obviously as emotion-filled as I was. He gripped the bottom portion of my shirt tightly between his fingers. “It’s done.”
I couldn’t let go as I grabbed his bare chest. I had to hang on. I would never forgive myself for walking away. Especially when deep down, I knew the truth. The truth that said Jack was actually the only thing I needed now in my life. Like I had said earlier, my brain and heart were battling. And my heart was too close to destruction to even remotely argue with said brain.
Reluctance and sorrow filled his eyes as they barred me with his intense stare. He was like a lost soul, and I was the only thing that could rescue him from his demise. I couldn’t be his heroine, nor could he be my hero. And I certainly couldn’t tell him that letting me go was as hard on him as it was on me. This was for the best. At least that’s what I was going to keep telling myself. I made my choice, the choice to walk away, from him.
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