On some level—I think you know what level by now—I got where she was coming from, but did that mean…
“I’m supposed to just be okay with this? Am I supposed to just stand by while the woman I love becomes an addict?”
Lenny sighed, and with that sigh I knew the calm was over. “I don’t know, Vic.” Eyes creased, lips heavy, she looked away. Her arms shrank inward, her chin met her chest, and I knew she was looking for the quickest exit, whether it was through the pills or through the opening in the alleyway behind me.
Water started to fall, big tears crashing over our heads. Soon a curtain of watery beads masked everything, making objects appear like shadows. Lenny’s shadow started to move, so I snatched her by the arm and dragged her to the car.
Wasn’t it just so fucking poetic that it was raining?
I don’t know; I’m not a poet.
I threw her in the shower, not caring if the water was too hot. When I heard her yelp, I realized it probably was. I shut the door, put a chair under the knob so she couldn’t get out, and started rummaging through her things.
Halfway through scouring her thongs, I stopped myself. I held up her pink, lacy thong and instead of looking at the thing with lust, I was looking at it with distrust. I shut the drawer and sat on the bed. I wasn’t sure how to handle this, but I could be sure this was the wrong way.
I heard the water turn off ten minutes later while I was trying to decide what to watch. There wasn’t a damn thing that could distract me. In my head I was still pulling out drawers, lifting up the mattress, and kicking over furniture.
When she opened the door, the chair fell to the floor. She looked at it with mild amusement. Yeah, I hadn’t realized the door opened from the inside. Whatever, I had other things on my mind—like where my pill-head girlfriend kept her stash.
“Just so you know, today was an accident.” She glared at me as she toweled her head. “I forgot all about your birthday.”
“Whatever.” I kept my eyes glued on an empty screen, not wanting to incite another argument. I knew it hadn’t been entirely an accident. For her to have pulled off the party, complete with everyone attending, the cake, the decorations, all that shit, she had to have been planning it for some time.
Lennox had a unique style of fighting. She liked to wound. She liked to pinpoint your weaknesses and make you bleed your heart’s blood. It was fucked up, but I wouldn’t lie, it turned me on. She was good at it—not many possessed the ability to pinpoint a target’s Achilles heel. I know, I’d gone through training and even I still couldn’t do it.
I don’t even think she realized what she did, because Lennox was also very compassionate. She was a lover, and if I’d told her that she was also the most fucked up, psychopathic fighter I’d ever met, I was sure she’d throw herself out the window before she hurt another soul.
I’m also pretty sure I couldn’t convince her it was okay based on the fact that I got off on it, based on the fact that I was just as twisted as she was.
Lenny sat down on the bed, her body creating a slight dip. I watched her out of my peripheral. Fuck, but I would always be drawn to her. With brick red hair over one shoulder of her naked back, it was like having an ancient Roman painting just a few inches from me. It was mesmerizing.
People stare at those paintings for hours. People dedicate their lives to those goddamn paintings. It was no wonder that I was twisted up with Lenny. Just as I was about to throw every goddamn thing that had happened earlier to the wind to satisfy my dick, Lenny pulled open the nightstand and grabbed a pill bottle.
“What the fuck are you doing?” I asked, sitting up straight. Inwardly I punched myself for not checking there first.
“Can we stop pretending, please?” She opened a bottle, punctuating her point. “Fuck, Vic. Just because we don’t speak of it doesn’t mean it goes away—even though I know that’s what you think. I’m doing this. You know I’m doing it. Just like I know you’re still hiding things from me.” She opened her mouth, about to drop a pill, but I smacked it away. The bottle fell to the floor, pills clattering around.
I leaned back against the headboard, satisfied, and rested my head against my arms. “Don’t be so fucking dramatic, Lennox.”
“I’m dramatic?” Lennox exclaimed, rising to her knees. “What do you call this?” She gestured down to where I’d knocked her bottles.
“I’m not enabling you any more,” I said through gritted teeth.
Lenny laughed, a bitter sound like wind caught in a tunnel. “I’m sorry that I refuse to continue to hide behind the paper screens you concoct with delicate words, Vic. This is our life. It’s ugly. It’s messy. It’s probably going to kill us. Deal with it or get the fuck out.” She bent over to pick up her pills and gestured to the door with the same motion, not even bothering to look at me.
“Gladly.” I walked out of the room, heading to my “secret lair” as Lenny called it. In reality, it was just an office with a few extra gadgets. I guess I’d be spending the night there, waiting for information on what END planned to do with me, instead of hiding behind paper screens.
I’m hungry.
I’m cold.
I found some white powder that doesn’t taste real good, but when I mixed it with water it almost reminded me of cookie dough. I can’t even remember the last time I had cookie dough, but if I pretend hard enough, the white stuff tastes like it. If I eat enough, my stomach doesn’t hurt so much.
Mama was angry again so I hid in the cupboards. She doesn’t look for me there. Still, I’m scared. She bangs on the counter and knocks over the chairs when she’s like this. The noises are loud and remind me of thunderstorms.
She’s eaten the candy again and it’s made her mad. I did my best to hide it from her, but she found it. She always finds it. When she found out I hid it from her, she hit me upside the head. I ran to the pantry when she took a break from beatin’ me and have been here ever since.
I hoped there would be some food in the cupboards but there was nothing, nothing but dust and a jug of something blue. I seen how Mama used the blue stuff to clean one day, the one day the lady comes, so I know not to eat it.
I used to wish Mama would share her candy. It reminded me of the rock candy Mama used to buy when she’d get her cigarettes. Now Mama doesn’t leave so she doesn’t buy me candy no more. I used to wish she’d share her candy cause all I have to eat is white powder and sometimes old nuggets, if the neighbors throwed it out in the trash.
Now I don’t wish she’d share. I tried some of it and Mama hit me so hard I couldn’t see for days. Still, that’s not why I don’t want it. I don’t want it cause when Mama eats the candy she is no longer my Mama. Tonight Mama’s had candy so I’ll sleep in the pantry, because it’s safer than my bed.
I woke up with a start, neck sore from the way I’d slept. I rubbed my eyes, trying to get the errant dream from my head. It felt more like a memory than a dream. It was still early in the morning, the sun hanging low on the horizon, but I had an urge to go check on Lenny and make sure she was sleeping well. The night before she’d banged on the door, yelling that she was going to sleep downstairs in the spare room. By the time I’d opened the door to tell her it was unnecessary, her figure was retreating down the stairs.
Even while Lenny and I were separated, I was never far from her. I used GEM resources to make sure she was always safe. Always. Now I was home, but I’d never felt farther away.
I stood to go check just as my computer beeped, a red alert bubble unopened in the corner. I looked at the bubble waiting to be popped, and then at my door. Rationally I knew Lenny was safe asleep downstairs, but that didn’t calm the gnawing in my gut. That would only settle once I saw her red hair on the pillowcase. The bubble dinged again, and I bent over to quickly read the message.
Vic: This came across my desk. Thought you might like to know.
–Charlie
I opened the attachment and absorbed the information. I don’t know what I’d been expec
ting. Charlie wouldn’t have messaged me if it wasn’t important. We weren’t exactly pen pals. We didn’t send gifs in our spare time. I should have put it all together before I even opened the goddamn thing. The message shouldn’t have been a surprise. None of it should have been a shock. If I’d been thinking with just an ounce of forethought or cunning, I would have seen it.
I rubbed my neck as I read, trying to work out the kinks sleeping on a desk had created. Obviously, my mind had been elsewhere.
According to Charlie’s intel, GEM had ordered the hit in Mexico and the hit was me. If I had gone to Mexico, I would be a dead man. I read and reread, trying to see if there was any other way to interpret it. There wasn’t.
Dom had deceived me and was not a neutral party, but a spineless shitfuck working for GEM—though for some reason GEM still hadn’t officially blacklisted me. Probably because it was Alice pulling the strings.
If you ever find yourself in this situation—quasi-blacklisted by a bitch with a vendetta—you should never do what I did. You should close out the files, delete them, and a go off the grid as soon as possible. You shouldn’t stay bent over the desk, goddamn message still open on your screen.
But I was…hung up.
See, as I dialed the fucker, I couldn’t help but remember all the shit I’d done for him. Mistake number one. In the wetwork world, honor and nobility are like diamonds: everyone wants them, no one really has them, and there really is no point to them. I guess that was why Charlie and I got along so well (well, as much as you could in that world). He might have been a bit of psychopath, but somewhere deep down, he had his honor.
Dom answered on the last ring. I should have cut Dom out of my life years ago, but the young marine in me still had ties to him. I would give him one more chance. Mistake number two.
“Tell me you’re someplace safe.”
“You told me END was the one who organized the hit,” I replied.
“They did,” he said quickly. Too quickly.
“Then why am I looking at intel that says GEM organized it? And why does it say eliminate target on sight?”
“I…” Dom trailed off. “I don’t know what you’re talking about. Who gave you that intel? It’s probably bad.” I wasn’t about to give up my source. Charlie had risked his ass sending me the information. It was clear Dom was just as sniveling and weaselly as he had been the first day I’d met him.
I guess I just never expected him to weasel on me. Mistake number fucking three. Remember how I said I hate odd numbers?
“That’s your explanation?”
“I…” The line went dead.
“Motherfucker.” I pushed away from the desk, preparing myself for what would come next.
I punched in Grace’s number as I exited my office, mind running through everything I had to do.
“There may come a time when you’ve been compromised. Learn your ABCs. Assemble. Break. Clear out.”
“Vic?” Grace’s voice came through sleepy. “Why are you callin’ so early? Is everythin’ okay?” I hadn’t even looked at the clock yet, but that hardly mattered.
“You need to leave.”
“What do you mean I need to leave?”
“I mean you’re in danger. Get Eli and leave Santa Barbara.”
“What are you talkin’ ‘bout? You’re not makin’ any sense.”
“When you’ve been compromised, every tool, every resource you had is gone. If you’re smart, you’ve been assembling your own resources.”
“I’ve put a burner phone, instructions, and some cash in a PO box at the post office by your house.” I had similar setups at multiple PO boxes, safety deposit boxes, and even buried beneath the earth, around Santa Barbara and the US. Assemble was the first thing you learned in training. Officially, learning your ABCs was never about being blacklisted. It was about if your real name got leaked to a competing company. I was lucky, though; I had a trainer who let me in on the secret early. Too bad that would eventually cost him his life.
“There will come a day when GEM will not be there to assist you and you will be hunted.”
“Why?” Some kid raised his hand, like we were in fucking school. The trainer only glared, but I realized then that we were all expendable.
I heard muffled voices and assumed Grace was talking to Eli. I took the time to grab a duffle bag from the hallway closet. The PO boxes didn’t have any clothes, after all. Bag in hand, I stood still. Our bedroom door was just a foot from me, closed even though no one slept inside.
I knocked, though I knew it was empty.
“What about Charlie?” Grace asked. For a few moments, I didn’t respond, instead staring at our empty bedroom. It was dark; I hadn’t bothered turning on the lights. The hardwood was cold against my feet. Despite the whirring in my head and hushed voices on the phone, this was silent. The bed was made; everything was clean. It reminded me of before Lenny had come into my life. She made everything messy, from my brain to my bathroom.
“What about him?” I sighed, heading over to the wardrobe. I stuffed in some thongs, but just as soon as they were in the bag, I took them out. Staring at what felt like a hundred different versions of underwear, I realized I had no idea what to pack. I dangled the stringy thong and Lenny’s body came to mind. She would look fucking great in the piece, but that wasn’t the point. The point was to pack what she needed. Things to last for a few weeks, until shit died down.
“Can’t he help?” Grace’s voice knocked the image out of my mind and I stuffed the stringy thong back into the dresser, grabbing a thicker, cotton looking thing.
“I get that you’re trying to help Grace, but you don’t have a clue what I’m up against.” I turned my assault to the wardrobe, grabbing sweaters, V-necks, and jeans.
“So let us help!” Grace yelled.
“At this point you’re a liability.” I looked into the duffle bag. I’d packed pajamas, underwear, and day clothes. What else did a woman need?
Tampons?
Did Lenny even use tampons? I remembered her saying something about a cup, but where the fuck did she keep that? The cupboards briefly flashed into my mind but just as quickly I brushed that awful image away. I did a three-sixty spin around the room, feeling fucking helpless.
Eli came on the phone. “What can I do?”
“Get my sister out of here. Follow the instructions and go to the address where no one can find you. Turn off your Wi-Fi and GPS. Only call if you’re thirty seconds from dead.”
“All right.”
“Wait!” Grace screamed, coming back on the phone. “What if I don’t see you again?”
“Then it was nice to know you, Grace.” I hung up and walked back to my lair, double checking I had everything I needed. As I was throwing another burner phone into my duffel, the photo Lissie had given me caught my eye. I wasn’t sure Alice would go after her and Zoe, but just in case, I didn’t want to leave them hanging. I fired off a quick text, giving them the location and info of another PO box. When that was done, I ran downstairs to get Lennox.
We probably only had a few hours left.
“What do you mean I need to leave town?” Almost immediately after I sent the text, Zoe called. I supposed that was to be expected. Not many people would receive a text that told them to get the fuck out and accept it point blank.
“I’m sure Lenny’s said something about the kind of business I’m in. I’m sorry, I didn’t mean for it to affect everyone.” I took a breath. I really was sorry. I used to be a loner, keeping to myself. There was a reason for that; so nothing like this would ever happen. “I don’t know how this will affect Moore Events,” I added. I’d effectively ruined five lives and a business in the span of an hour.
Is there something lower than a piece of shit?
“We have enough money saved that it’s no big deal,” Zoe interrupted. “As for Moore Events, you should know that it’s fine. I’m more concerned about Nox.” As I descended the stairs to wake Lenny, I thought about what Zoe said. I didn
’t know anything about Moore Events. It was Lenny’s brainchild, her business, her creation. Between the fighting and GEM, we hadn’t discussed it at all. We only took breaks in our fighting to fuck.
“You know.” Lissie came on the line. “It might be good for her to take a break.”
“It’s a bit more than a break,” I said with a grimace.
“Well obviously,” Lissie said, voice light. I couldn’t help it, a smile came to my mouth. Even as I told them to pack up their life, their child, fucking everything, Lissie sounded fine. I knew her history with drugs, but even so, there was no taint on her. You could easily forget she wasn’t all sunshine and rainbows.
“What I mean to say is,” Lissie continued, “She dreams up extravagant parties from out of nowhere. And she’s been doing it every week for two years straight. Even if this is a forced break, at least it’s happening.” I stopped on the last step, taking in everything Lissie had just said. The amount of work Lenny had been doing…I had no idea.
Where had our relationship gone wrong?
It was like somewhere down the road we took a turn and instead of trying to find our way back, we kept going through the dark forest, kept driving in the mud, acting as if it was normal to be so blind and battered.
“Just get yourselves safe,” I said gruffly. “I’ll worry about Lenny.” Hanging up, I turned into the guest room we’d built just before Grace’s arrival, as if fate had known my sister would come. Now, however, it acted as a bulwark between us. Lenny had slept there the night before and it wasn’t the first time she’d done so the past few months.
I rapped lightly on the door. “Lenny, we have to go.” Me, I could sleep through anger. I could sleep through pretty much anything. Lenny couldn’t. She felt the pain too deeply and sleeping next to me when our hurt was still raw was next to impossible, like sleeping on the dagger that did the cutting.
Come To Me (Owned Book 3) Page 5