James pulls out an old Prager Port to go with our warm chocolate torts and the group goes silent except for an occasional low moan of “It’s so good.” from one of the girls. I glance over to the clock and am astonished to see that it is nearly 1:00 in the morning. Soon after, Eliana notices as well and drags Annette and James off into the night. Eric and Aubrey wave us off as we try to help them with the dishes so we stumble upstairs and onto the bed.
For a few moments we just lay there. I’m draped across Nathan’s chest and playing absent mindedly with his hair.
“Thank you for tonight. It was amazing.” I finally manage.
“It was amazing. Your friends are great. And you never told me you could bake.”
“Thank you. And you never told me you could cook. Is there anything you aren’t good at?”
“Oh sure, whiffle ball, bingo, beat poetry.”
I can’t help but laugh. “How can someone be bad a bingo?”
“Oh trust me, I either get too busy talking and miss my cues or I get too excited and call bingo before I even have it.”
I giggle for a moment and then settle in quietly again on his chest. Everything feels so perfect. I think back to my conversation with Dr. Sandling and I can’t help but think that whatever she was warning me against, she must be wrong. This moment is too right.
Nathan finally musters up enough energy to undress and takes the time to pull off my clothes as well. He wraps his arms around my naked body and pulls me up to the top of the bed. In the few seconds it takes to get there I am jolted awake by the feel of his body against mine and it only takes a glance into his eyes to see that I am not the only one filled with need.
He enters me slowly and I can’t take my eyes off his as we make love in the night. Even if I am not ready to say it, I want him to see it. I want him to see how much I love him. I want him to see that in a few days he has brought me more joy, and comfort, and peace, than Christopher ever did. I want him to see that I would do anything to hold onto him forever. Let the cosmos do what they may.
Chapter 19
I have to admit that waking up in the morning is painful. I think back over the night before and calculate just how much red wine we all had. In the future, I’ll remember to save the dinner parties for weekends.
I drag myself out of bed and down to the kitchen where Aubrey is standing ready with some ibuprofen and a glass of orange juice. It seems the rest of the gang is doing just fine. Nathan and Eric are out for a run. Aubrey just laughs as I wave off the waffles he offers and stumble back upstairs for a shower and to get dressed.
I manage to pull myself together in time for us to head off to work. I bring an extra-large coffee and pray that there isn’t something too pressing at the office.
I leave the overhead light off when I enter my office to avoid anything too jarring for my eyes and lean back in my chair for a minute to wish my lingering headache away. Finally, I sit up to get to work and it is only then that I focus on my keyboard. Nathan and Aubrey are chatting in the hallway outside my door and I guess my, “Son of a!” is loud enough for them to hear.
Aubrey makes it through the door first and his eyes go a cold yellow as he sees the heart shaped moonstone in my palm. They both come in and shut the door and Nathan is on the phone immediately with Eric. Eric shows up in a matter of minutes with a large bag and Nathan takes me to his office to talk about what to do next.
He would like me to head back to the house and given the headache I have there is part of me that loves the idea. We are a few minutes into going over our schedules and figuring out whether I or both of us could work from home today when there is a knock at the door.
Caitlin enters carrying a large bouquet of red roses with a card for Nathan. He looks at me but I just shrug. His face hardens into a tense mask as he reads the card and then he slips out the door.
Left alone in the room with the roses and the card I can’t seem to stop myself. I reach over and read the message.
“Nathan my love, I am so sorry. I need you. Now. -Sarah.”
I put the card down quickly and turn to see Nathan talking on his phone in the hallway. He keeps dialing numbers and then not talking for long so he doesn’t seem to be getting the answers he wants. Finally, he puts away his phone and begins an animated conversation with Eric.
I watch for a minute as Eric shakes his head no and then rubs his hand over his face. He glances up and catches me watching them. Seeing Eric standing there, his hand on his fore head, looking like he is trying very hard not to shove Nathan against the wall, I can tell that something very bad is about to happen.
Nathan turns and sees that I am watching but he won’t hold my gaze. He says something else to Eric who just shakes his head no and then Nathan turns and walks toward me. He doesn’t touch me as he enters the office. Instead, he grabs the card and his keys. He keeps his eyes on the floor.
“I’m so sorry. I have to go, Isabella. There is an emergency I have to deal with. Eric and Aubrey will be here. They will keep you safe until I get back. Please listen to them.”
We are both very still for a moment and I feel like my lungs are fighting for air. My headache has exploded across my brain.
“When will you be back?” I manage. I’m embarrassed by how desperate I sound and Nathan must be as surprised as I am because he actually glances up at me for a moment.
“I don’t know.” He whispers, eyes back to the floor. “I just...I don’t know.”
Nathan hurries past me and past a seething Eric. I try to head back to my office but Eric catches me and brings me back to Nathan’s.
“Sorry. We need to make sure there aren’t any bugs. Aubrey should be done in just a few.” He takes the roses from the desk and drops them into the trashcan.
“Where did he go?” I ask.
“I’m so sorry that I can’t tell you that.” The anger is thick in his voice but his eyes soften as he looks at me. “But Aubrey and I are here. We will take care of you. We will not leave you.”
Awesome, I can’t help but think to myself. I’m going to live out my life being passed back and forth between unfaithful men and untouchable Marines.
I close my eyes to hold back the tears and sit down and put my head in my hands. I’m sitting there reminding myself to breathe when Aubrey walks in to give us the all clear. He takes one look at me, the flowers, and then Eric and gets right to the point.
“What the fuck happened?”
I let out a large sigh and then look up at him. “Eric will fill you in. If my office is clear, I’m going to go sit in it.”
I leave an angry Eric to explain to a soon to be angry Aubrey that the supposed god that I have been sleeping with got a note from his ex and immediately ran off to be with her. Oh- and we can’t tell Isabella. I can only imagine how well that conversation is going to go.
I close my door and lock it and then slide down the back of it. Although it seems to make my headache worse, I finally let myself cry.
After a few minutes I finally pick myself up and decide that I should probably just get back to work. I take a few more ibuprofen and drink my coffee and eventually my headache even starts to clear. I’m starting to wonder if the wonder twins are afraid to approach me when Aubrey finally just walks through the door. He doesn’t look happy.
“Hey! I locked that door.” He just shrugs and throws himself in the chair across my desk.
“Yeah, if you call that a lock.” He grumbles as Eric comes in and drops into the chair in the corner. “How long do we have to stay here today? I want to get you back to the house.”
Oh God. I hadn’t even thought about the house. Do they really expect me to go back there? How can I with Nathan off chasing his ex?
“Um, well. I have a lot of work to do. I think I am going to be a while. You guys don’t really both have to stay here. I am sure I will be fine.”
Eric and Aubrey exchange looks but before they can speak James walks into my office.
“Hey, Boss! How are y
ou feeling after last night? I just stopped by to see if you would be up for lunch.” James looks around to see Aubrey and Eric and narrows his eyes at me.
“I think my head may not actually break in two so that is an improvement. And I am starting to feel like food so I’ll give you a yes to lunch.” Both James and I notice when the two Marines shift in their chairs.
James takes a moment and I can tell that he is shifting into lawyer mode. I try to prepare myself for the questions that are coming. “Where’s Nathan?” He keeps his eyes on me so he probably misses the look of death on both of their faces.
“Hmmm, right now I would guess that he is at the airport.”
“Airport?”
“Yes.”
“Any why would Nathan be at the airport?”
“He had a little...emergency he had to attend to.”
“Emergency? Gosh, I hope everything will be OK.” James tilts his head just a little and watches me for my response. I decide I might as well come out with it. James is not one to give up when he is after information.
“I’m guessing she will be better than I will, tonight.”
Aubrey puts his head in his hands and Eric start rubbing his face again. James just looks at me. I can see the emotions roll across his face. First is surprise, followed closely by confusion. I take some consultation in the fact that I am not the only one that has that response to Nathan. Soon after comes the anger and then he seems to refocus on me and there is only warmth.
“So I guess we should go now so we have plenty of time for ice cream.” He gives me one of his killer smiles and even I am surprised to see that I can’t help the small smile that blooms in response.
The four of us head to Lou’s, a little diner off the main strip. The pancakes and bacon seem to go a long way in bringing me back to the living and the waitress refills my coffee at least three times. James does a great job at steering the conversation away from any Nathan related topics and instead I get to hear a lot about the time that Eric and Aubrey served together and James’ trips across Europe and Asia. By the end of the meal, I am almost cheerful.
When we get back to work, Aubrey settles in with his laptop in the corner of my office and Eric sets about trying to get the security tapes from Friday on to see if he can catch my secret admirer.
Secret admirer is what I have taken to calling him/her in my head. It’s less unnerving than stalker and since I haven’t actually had any interactions with the person it seems a bit more fitting. I still can’t figure out what they are doing and why. It doesn’t really seem like they want to scare me. If they did, wouldn’t they trash my apartment or leave a scary message in blood. Why a heart shaped moonstone?
It does bother me that Nathan has been acting like these moonstones are a really big deal, going so far to hire Aubrey, but just leaves town the same morning one shows up in my office. I know he left me here with two highly trained escorts, but shouldn’t he want to be here himself? I look at Aubrey as he scowls at his laptop. I am willing to bet that God himself couldn’t drag this man from my side today.
Aubrey looks up and catches me staring at him and gives me a reassuring smile.
“What’s up, Is?”
“Oh nothing. Just thinking. I’m really glad you’re here with me today Aubrey.”
“Well it’s not the Anbar Province, but I guess it’s alright.” He shrugs and tries to lighten my mood.
“I’ve never had my office compared to a terrorist stronghold before.” I muster a half smile but can’t seem to hold it too long. “What should I do Aubrey?”
“What do you mean?”
I sigh and lean back in my chair. I shake my head at my confusion. “I mean, my fiancé just dumped me and I’ve been hooking up with a guy who just left town the moment his ex beckoned. My apartment has been bugged and someone is leaving tokens all over town for me. Tokens of what, it’s not clear. I can’t tell if my whole life is falling apart of just my love life. Part of me wants to disappear for a while and hope that by the time I get back this will all be a bizarre dream. Part of me wants to kick you and Eric out and go back to my apartment and deal with whatever comes. I’m not sure what to do. I mean, what should I do?”
I can feel his eyes on me but I refuse to look up. I’m just not sure I can do it without tears. After a few moments he stands and crosses the office. I’m surprised when he pulls me up out of the chair and wraps his arms around me. I lay against his chest and his chin rests gently on the crown of my head. He runs his hand over my hair to sooth me and it is then that I start to cry in earnest.
Aubrey just holds me for several minutes and when I start to calm down a bit he begins to talk. He is honest and says that he doesn’t have any real answers. Christopher was an ass, he is sure of that. Nathan, he still wants to give him time. He isn’t sure what is happening right now but he wants to wait and give Nathan a chance to explain. He doesn’t want me to disappear, and he really doesn’t want me to send him away.
“I’m not sure what you should do. Tonight, let’s not do anything. Let’s go for a ride and then stay up late watching movies.”
“That’s your answer? Do nothing? I’m pretty sure my father didn’t teach you that.”
“Your father taught me that good intel is worth the wait. Just give it a few days. We will figure it out.”
The knock at the door sends Aubrey back to his corner and he picks up his laptop just as Eric let’s himself in. He doesn’t seem to notice anything and just settles into the chair, shaking his head.
“Bastard wiped the tapes.”
“Seriously?”
“Seriously. Everything is there except for an hour around 1am this morning. That includes the building but also the parking lot. He knows we are watching and he doesn’t want to get caught.”
We are all quiet for a moment, each thinking through the implications.
“Well, I guess it’s not Nathan.” I say simply. Aubrey and Eric look up at me in surprise. “What? You guys might be on his payroll but I’ve never completely written him off as a suspect. But I know where he was at 1am so I guess it’s not him.”
Eric opens his mouth as if he is going to say something but no sounds come out.
“And you guys were there too.” I continue, “So I guess you guys are safe. Anyone want to go riding?”
After work Aubrey and I convince Eric that today is the day that he needs to learn how to ride a horse. I put him on an old quarter horse named Mama. She is safe for a five year old, mostly because her favorite thing to do is stand still. We teach Eric a few basics about steering and stopping and ask if he wants to head out for a trail ride. He tries to act like it is no big deal, but we can both tell that he is about as excited as that five year old would be and his grin only widens when we take him out into the woods.
It is a beautiful summer evening and I decide to take the boys on a long loop around the mountain. We keep things slow and steady for Eric’s sake but it’s nice because it gives us more time to talk. One of the things I have always loved about my father’s Marines is how interesting they are as people. They are the elite of the elite so it would be easy to assume that they are all muscle and adrenaline. But the truth is that most of them are really smart and passionate about something.
It turns out that Eric loves art. He spends over an hour talking excitedly about this show he went to in New York and the artists that were there. Aubrey and I smile and nod and ask questions but it’s clear that we have no idea who he is talking about. It works out OK though because we distract him after a while with comments about the museums we have visited across the world and our favorite pieces along the way.
After we make it back to the barn and put the horses away I drag them both up into the hay loft and we watch the sunset over the upper valley off the west side of the barn. I watch the last rays of sunlight reflect off their faces and can’t help but feel comforted. It might be a strange way to spend the evening for most, but for me it is like high school all over again.
Aubrey doesn’t help him out any. He starts by saying that he is a little tired himself but then goes on a long speech about how of course he is going to watch the movie with me anyway because they are being paid to protect me and how could they leave me alone on a night like this with such a recent threat and no Nathan.
And speaking of no Nathan, he knows that has to be really hard on me so I really should feel free to pick whatever kind of movie I want. He goes on to talk about his cousin who made him watch The Notebook four times in a row just because she had a bad date.
By the time we make it in front of the TV Eric almost looks green. I am pretty sure he is expecting the worse. Aubrey, of course, knows exactly the kind of movies I watch when I am upset.
The opening credits for “Supervolcano” roll across the screen and I can’t help but laugh when Eric almost spits out his drink. Nothing makes me forget my own problems more than a cheesy disaster movie; the more ridiculous the better.
It’s only a few minutes into the movie when I start the yawning. Last night seems to be catching up with me again and before things even get exciting I find myself falling asleep on Aubrey’s shoulder. Eric disappears down the hallway and comes back with a blanket and pillow. He pulls my legs up on the couch and tucks the blanket around me as Aubrey sets the pillow in his lap and pats it for me to lie down.
Eric hands Aubrey a beer before he opens one for himself and settles into the oversized chair for the rest of the movie. I try valiantly to stay awake but I am pretty sure I am asleep before the lava even starts to flow.
Chapter 20
I wake up in the morning face down on the couch, wrapped in a blanket like a burrito. It takes me a minute to remember where I am and why and start to take in the rest of the room. Eric is in the kitchen making coffee and for some reason he has a grin on his face.
Confusion: (a love story) Page 17