by David Hare
Pauline That’s what drove Jack nuts. My getting back.
Meredith Why?
Pauline Look, he wasn’t speaking to me anyway when I first arrived – barely acknowledged me, maybe with a grunt – always pretending to be absorbed when he passed me in the corridors, that sort of thing. I was in his line of sight and he didn’t want me there. I’d injured his selfesteem, and God knows that’s the softest part of a man’s flesh.
Meredith Did it hurt you?
Pauline Hurt me?
Meredith Yes.
Pauline Sure. Sure it hurt me. I would like to have been his friend. Still would.
Meredith Is that what you’re doing here?
Pauline Let’s say I thought it was time to make an approach.
She nods.
I have something to tell him.
Meredith absorbs this a moment.
Meredith So why did you stand a second time?
Pauline People asked me to. I was popular. I was liked. Somehow I’d come to represent more than one hospital. I was the NHS.
Meredith Is that the only reason?
Pauline Ask yourself: what are you doing here, Meredith? Working alone at night. Young woman like you, when you could be out enjoying yourself.
She smiles.
It’s Westminster, isn’t it? Maybe you’re hooked. Maybe you’ve fallen for the illusion you might do some good.
Meredith Is it an illusion? I don’t think so. It seems to me so obvious. Everyone’s on single-issue. But unless we do joined-up we’re fucked.
Pauline stares at her a moment.
And anyway it’s different for me.
Pauline Why?
Meredith My parents are immigrants. That’s why it’s different.
Pauline What do they do?
Meredith My dad drives a taxi. My mum works in a supermarket. When you come to a new country, you want be part of it. You want to put something back. Who speaks for them? They got here before the door was closed. I’d like to kick it back open.
Pauline Single-handed?
Meredith You did.
Pauline I had a team.
Meredith is unyielding.
Meredith And the big difference is you’re confident. I’m not.
Pauline I’m not sure I believe that.
Meredith Oh, please. I promise you. People didn’t like me at school. They certainly didn’t like me at Oxford.
Pauline And that worried you, did it?
Meredith They thought I was pushy.
Pauline Yeah. Pushy’s one of those words, isn’t it?
Meredith It was a reaction.
Pauline Reaction to what?
Meredith To boys, of course. Because when I was at school –
Pauline Yes?
Meredith It was funny. I noticed, when the teacher asked a question, the girls would stop and think. They’d think about the answer. The boys just stuck their hands up – straight away –
Pauline Sure –
Meredith Whether they knew the answer or not. They’d come up with some bullshit – ‘In the nineteenth century blah blah.’ They didn’t know anything. But they had to be the ones in charge of the talking.
Pauline Sure –
Meredith When I was at Oxford, I always had to fake a confidence I didn’t really have.
Pauline What were you studying?.
Meredith Chemistry. I wanted to be in the Labour Party but when I turned up, I found it was all about positioning.
Pauline For power, you mean?
Meredith No, not for power.
Pauline What then?
Meredith That might have been easier. No, it was all about proving you were right. No, more than that, it was about proving you had some sort of monopoly on righteousness.
Pauline Oh I see.
Meredith I can tell you, these days, the moral high ground is overpopulated territory. It’s where all good people want to live. You can’t move for people displaying to you just how perfect their thinking is.
Pauline laughs in recognition.
At the start people gave me space. I’m black –
Pauline You’re a woman –
Meredith Exactly. It meant, at the beginning, people were kind of reluctant to point out the flaws in my thinking –
Pauline I can imagine –
Meredith But somehow later they managed to overcome their reluctance.
Pauline I bet they did.
Meredith They looked deep inside themselves and found the courage to point out all my mistakes.
Pauline What sort of mistakes?
Meredith Oh, you know. I didn’t have quite the right view about colonialism, I didn’t have quite the right view about the Middle East, I didn’t have quite the right view about men. And it wasn’t like we were having genuine arguments – we weren’t. No, it was like there was only one perfect state-of-the-art position on every issue, and if you didn’t pitch your tent on that perfect piece of ground and get things off to the letter, you were in trouble. Problem was, it became less like thinking, more like learning.
Pauline Tiring.
Meredith Yeah. Tiring.
She shrugs.
I’d never thought of politics as a form of self-improvement. I’d never thought it was about buffing yourself up. I thought it was about doing things for other people.
There is a silence, Pauline impressed by Meredith.
Pauline Yeah.
Meredith When I came round to your place, I knew what you were thinking.
Pauline Did you?
Meredith I could tell.
Pauline What was I thinking?
Meredith You thought it was sexual, didn’t you? With Jack?
Pauline I wasn’t sure.
Meredith Whatever.
Pauline I suspected.
Meredith You were wrong. It’s not sex. It’s power.
Pauline Oh, and they’re different, are they?
Meredith looks at her a moment.
Meredith He does talk an awful lot about how perfect his marriage is.
Pauline Meredith, be suspicious of anyone who goes on about how great their wife is. They’re always up to no good.
Meredith He says it’s real love.
Pauline Yeah. Men usually find real love when they’ve exhausted the other kind.
Meredith smiles.
Meredith Jack was thrilled last week when I said I was trying to contact you.
Pauline I bet he was.
Meredith I could see: he was excited.
Pauline Did he ask you to find out if I was running?
Meredith Sort of. I mean, he didn’t put it like that.
Pauline How did he put it?
Meredith He said ‘I wouldn’t mind knowing what she’s thinking these days.’
Pauline And when you got back, did you tell him anything?
Meredith shakes her head, complicit.
Did he ask?
Meredith doesn’t reply.
Meredith Fact is, there’s something strange about Jack. I don’t mean anything in particular that he says or does. Just somehow he always manages to make the drama all about him. He has a way of making you feel responsible.
Pauline Sure.
Meredith Like you’re letting him down.
Pauline Sure.
Meredith How does he do that?
Pauline It’s a technique. Jack makes you feel sorry for him. As if it were somehow your job to make him feel better.
Meredith Did he do that to you?
Pauline What happened with us was just bad luck. I was running.
Meredith Running?
Pauline Away from my family. My mother. I’d finally got out of the trap. For the first time in my life. I was free. I met Jack and he was asking me to climb back in.
Meredith You weren’t ready?
Pauline I wasn’t up for it.
Meredith I know that feeling.
Pauline Not then.
Meredith And now?
Again, Pauline smiles.
Pauline So off I went. And then to Corby.
They look at one another.
Meredith You’re lucky, aren’t you?
Pauline Lucky?
Meredith Yes.
Pauline In what way?
Meredith You had a test. I’d love a test.
Pauline Ah.
Meredith And all I’ve ever done is hobble along.
Pauline You’ve plenty of time.
She looks at her fondly.
At medical school, we had a saying. ‘Learn One. Watch One. Do One.’
Meredith What does it mean?
Pauline It means you’re expected to be able to do any operation after you’ve watched it just once.
Meredith Is that safe?
Pauline My point is: jump in, Meredith. You’re ready. You can do what you want.
Meredith is moved. Pauline moves across and touches her shoulder. Then she starts to head for the door.
Tell Jack I dropped by.
Meredith I will.
But before she goes out, she sees Meredith has put a hand to her head.
Pauline What’s wrong?
Meredith I’m not feeling well.
Pauline What is it? Just sit down.
Meredith I can’t breathe.
Pauline Meredith …
Meredith Oh my God …
Meredith is holding her head with one hand, taking the back of a chair with another.
It’s like I’m …
Pauline Say …
Meredith Like everything’s … oh God …
Pauline Meredith, please, come here, sit down, over here.
She puts her arm round her and leads her to the sofa.
Now lie down …
Meredith Oh fuck, what’s happening? Like there’s a pressure …
Pauline Don’t talk, there’s no need to say anything …
Meredith Like my chest is …
Pauline Please … let me …
She has laid her out on the sofa. At once she pushes her head back to ascertain if she’s breathing, and to take her pulse.
Please, Meredith, focus. Don’t lose focus …
Meredith I don’t … I can’t …
Pauline Meredith. Meredith.
At once Pauline starts doing CPR, while at the same time getting out her phone. She starts the rhythmic beating on Meredith’s chest, but Meredith is no longer speaking.
Meredith, stay with me, stay conscious if you can. Try and stay conscious. Stay conscious!
One-handed, Pauline dials her phone and speaks while keeping up the banging on Meredith’s chest.
Ambulance. Please. As fast as you can.
SCENE THIRTEEN
2018. Sandy, in person. This time there is just a single mic, and only one Voice. It’s a touch desolate.
Sandy Sadly, I don’t think there’s any mystery to this. The facts are these. Ms Ikeji had a cardiac arrest, brought on by a congenital heart condition.
Voice 1 Did she know she had it?
Sandy Even if she had known of it, chances are she would have suffered an attack at some point. Ms Gibson attempted cardiopulmonary resuscitation, but with the defibrillator not close, and with the ambulance taking eight minutes to arrive, Ms Ikeji did not survive. We’re waiting for a histopathologist to give us exact cause.
Voice 1 Are you blaming the ambulance service?
Sandy I’m not here to make political points.
Voice 1 Why couldn’t Ms Gibson save Ms Ikeji’s life? Isn’t she a qualified doctor?
Sandy looks at the unseen speaker a moment.
Sandy Do you know, long before this happened, I’ve heard Pauline say that doctors are asked that question. ‘How many lives have you saved?’
Voice 1 And what’s the answer?
Sandy Pauline always says, ‘I may have prolonged a few, but I haven’t saved any.’
There is silence.
Thank you.
SCENE FOURTEEN
Pauline is dressed in black, waiting to go into a church. Sandy, also in black, joins her.
Sandy We need to go in.
Pauline In a moment.
Sandy She’s got to you, hasn’t she?
Pauline It would be strange if she hadn’t.
Sandy You don’t answer the phone.
Pauline Sandy, it’s been a bad time.
She shakes her head.
I don’t know if there’s any chance of it, but I’d quite like to be a person, not a thing. If there’s any chance of that.
Sandy Pauline, come on –
Pauline Come on, what? People drop dead around you, you start to think you’re cursed –
Sandy Oh yeah, that’s a very rational response.
Pauline Reason has nothing to do with it.
Sandy This isn’t like you.
Pauline That’s kind of you to say, but it isn’t true. It’s very like me.
Sandy looks at her.
Sandy Isn’t it time you thought about family?
Pauline Family? I don’t have any family.
Sandy Then what am I?
Pauline smiles, conceding.
Aren’t family the people you can’t get rid of? Isn’t that the definition of family? Pauline. Don’t I qualify? After all, we’ve been together as long as most couples.
Pauline Yes. Off and on.
Sandy More on than off. And I have a certain amount of time and effort invested. Oh, I’m not saying I would have been happier with anyone else –
Pauline Thank you –
Sandy You’re the one for me. But wasn’t the plan that we should do things together?
Pauline Always.
Sandy Well? I expect you to hide from the press, I don’t expect you to hide from me.
But Pauline says nothing.
When I was eighteen, I thought I would be better off dead. I’d like to think my heart was in it, but clearly it wasn’t because here I am. People claim PR’s a matter of lying. But it’s not. It’s a matter of putting best case. Best inter pre tation. In its way it’s a rather optimistic profession.
He smiles at her. She can’t look at him.
Meredith was twenty-four, wasn’t she?
Pauline Twenty-three.
Sandy OK. And the world in front of her. I don’t know what you think a suitable memorial might be. I’m surprised you think giving up would hit the right note.
Without warning, he walks away. Pauline stands, stunned.
SCENE FIFTEEN
2018. A walled garden in North London. Pauline, still in black, is smoking a cigarette by herself. Jack, in a black suit, comes out.
Jack So was that the best you could do?
Pauline It’s like wiring. Once it fuses.
Jack How so?
Pauline Meredith’s electrical activity became so chaotic that her heart ceased to supply blood to the brain.
Jack I see.
Pauline It stopped pumping. It started fibrillating.
Jack How long did she last?
Pauline Just a couple of minutes.
Jack I’d have expected you to do better.
Pauline No.
Jack As a professional.
Pauline Outside hospitals, chances of survival are very low.
Jack Is that right?
Pauline People don’t realise. It can happen at any time.
Jack And had she had any premonition?
Pauline Hereditary condition, but latent. Meredith’s parents are both alive and seem healthy. What are the chances of that?
She shakes her head.
Christ, Jack, I liked her.
Jack Me too.
Pauline I liked her tremendously. She reminded me of me.
Jack takes a nervous look behind him.
It was a nice funeral.
Jack I don’t remember inviting you back.
Pauline No. Her parents did.
Jack I wondered.
Pauline I went straight to Barnet as soon as it happened.
Jack Yes. You got
there before me.
Pauline It’s not a competition, Jack.
Jack Isn’t it?
He points to the sky.
Then why is there a fucking helicopter overhead?
Pauline That’s not my fault.
Jack Somebody told the press.
Pauline It certainly wasn’t me.
Jack You and me meeting. Time and place.
Pauline I haven’t told anyone.
Jack Somebody’s determined to make a public occasion of this.
Pauline says nothing.
And I don’t see how you can stand for the leadership of the Labour Party if you’re not a member.
Pauline I haven’t said I’m standing.
Jack No, you haven’t.
Pauline But in case you didn’t notice: I have been voting with Labour for the past few years.
Jack Sometimes.
Pauline Nearly always.
Jack It’s not the same thing.
Pauline Then you have nothing to worry about.
Jack What the hell are you up to?
He looks at her unforgivingly.
You’re the most competitive person I know. You just hide it under all that feminist stuff.
Pauline That’s not quite how I see it.
Jack Like the scones.
Pauline The scones?
Jack I’m talking about the scones you just brought to the wake.
Pauline What about them?
Jack Wrapped in a warm dishcloth.
Pauline I baked them this morning.
Jack Oh yeah.
Pauline So?
Jack That’s what I’m saying. I’ll take even money the scones will be in the blogosphere by nightfall. No doubt with photos.
Pauline I don’t think so.
Jack Sandy didn’t just casually get his camera out?
Pauline Sandy’s got better things to do with his time.
Jack Yeah. Like running a leadership campaign by pretending you’re not. What do they call it? Backing into the limelight? With scones.