NYC Angels: The Wallflower's Secret

by Susan Carlisle

  She nodded slowly. “Uh, Ryan, I know you’re not a fan of this coordinated patient care arrangement but I’d really like us to work together with as little conflict as possible.”

  He liked the way his name sounded when she said it. Kind of easygoing and warm. “I’ll do my part but there have to be some ground rules.”

  She pursed her lips and her delicately shaped brows drew closer together. “And those would be?”

  “I expect the people that work for me to be punctual and to stay with me as I make rounds. I don’t wait.”

  “Dr. O’Doherty, I don’t work for you. I work for the hospital, and ultimately for the patients. If I understood Mr. Matherson correctly, we do coordinated patient care. Which means we work together.”

  “My OR schedule, which the hospital dictates, means I don’t have time to stand around waiting for you.”

  “And my job, which the hospital and the human heart dictate, is to care for the patient and the family during a difficult time. My job is to help the whole family. We…” She waved a hand around, broadly including him. “This hospital should care for the whole person. That’s my job and I would appreciate you letting me do it.”

  He flinched. “My job is to be a surgeon, I fix the problem. I don’t need to hand-hold patients or their families to do my job well.”

  “No, you don’t, but it would be nice if you would at least try to on some level.”

  His body stiffened and he gave her a questioning look. “The parents of my patients need to hear the truth.”

  “I don’t disagree with that. I just question the delivery.”

  “I thought that was why you were here?”

  “It is, but parents like Brian’s like to hear reassurances from the doctor.”

  She met his direct gaze for the first time for longer than a second. He stood. “Point taken.”

  “What time’s your first case in the morning?”

  “Seven. Why?”

  “I like to be here when the child leaves the parents to go into surgery. It’s when they need the most support. Many want to talk. They’re scared. I’ll walk them down to the waiting room.”

  He’d never given any thought to how difficult it was for parents to watch their child go into surgery. Didn’t want to think about it. He opened the door.

  “It’s hard to let go,” she said with wistfulness in her voice.

  Did she know that from personal experience? Her eyes glazed over. Where had her thoughts gone? Thankfully she recovered, the hopeless expression disappearing, to be replaced by that of a trained professional again. That he was more than capable of dealing with.

  “I guess it is.” He closed the door between them. What was the woman with the sad, serious eyes hiding?

  CHAPTER TWO

  THAT EVENING LUCY arrived home later than she’d planned. To be at the hospital early for four mornings out of the week meant she had to stay late in the evenings to prepare. On top of that there was the time she spent getting to and from work. Accustomed to the freedom of driving a car, she found using the subway system restricting and oftentimes frustrating. Never good at reading maps, she had a tendency to take the wrong train far too often. This was one aspect of living in a huge city that she’d not thought through.

  Her heavy-set, dark-haired landlord, who was standing outside the building, called, “Hello,” as she started climbing the stairs to her studio apartment.

  “Hi, Mr. Volpentesta,” she returned with more enthusiasm than she’d had in a long time.

  He presented her with a big, white, toothy smile.

  Lucy made her way up to the third floor above the Italian bistro. She didn’t mind the climb. It was good exercise and she’d always enjoyed being fit. Staying in shape and eating right were important to her. She sucked in a tight breath. That had been one of the many reasons she’d had no trouble carrying Emily.

  Emily. The hurt throbbed deep. She had to get beyond the pain somehow.

  Unlocking the door, she pushed it open and stepped into the studio apartment. A nice window allowed light into the space. A bed faced it and there was a small sitting area. In one back corner was a kitchenette, functional but tiny, and in the other corner was the bathroom, which included a tiny closet.

  She’d managed to make the place homely with the few things she’d brought with her. When she had time she’d give it the care it deserved. It wasn’t much by most people’s standards but she enjoyed the multicultural, tree-lined neighborhood. She’d been lucky to find a place within her budget.

  Alexis, her sister, didn’t understand Lucy’s need to move so far away and Lucy had no intention of ever sharing the real reason she’d left. It was her deepest shame. It had almost killed her but she’d had to get away. It was better for everyone that she leave, despite how much she missed her sister, and Emily. She wanted Alexis and her family to be happy. For her to hang around, wishing she was a part of their close-knit group, hadn’t been healthy for any of them.

  Dropping her purse on the table, which had obviously been confiscated from the bistro, she put the kettle on to heat water to make tea. Sweet iced tea was her drink of choice. No matter where she lived she took that small pleasure with her. Even in the cold early spring weather she couldn’t give up that small part of her growing-up years. It was one of the passions she and her sister shared. She wouldn’t go there. Spending her evening crying wasn’t part of her plan.

  Taking a deep breath, she moved to her bed, pulled off her business suit and replaced it with sweatpants and sweatshirt, then she tugged on slouchy socks.

  The streetlight below her windows flickered on, washing the room in a warm glow that only added to her loneliness. She clicked on a lamp on her way back to the stove and after pouring the hot water over the tea bags and sugar she reached for a can of soup from the open cabinet.

  She’d gone from carrying a baby and living in her sister’s home, where love abounded, to a shabby room in an enormous impersonal city. She sank into one of the two chairs she had and put her face in her hands.

  Stop it. Get a hold of yourself. You can survive this. You have to make your own life.

  The next afternoon, she entered Daniel Hancock’s room to find Ryan leaning back in a chair as if he made social visits to the teenage boy’s room regularly. Ryan had removed a tumor from the sixteen-year-old’s brain stem the week before.

  “Ah, Ms. Edwards, just the person we were looking for,” Ryan said, as if he was genuinely glad to see her, which created suspicion in her mind.

  He’d made it clear the day before that he wasn’t interested in her being involved in his cases unless he thought she was needed. Now he acted as if they were old friends and he was planning to ask her a favor. She was unsure how to read his attitude change. Up until this moment she would have characterized their relationship as two dogs circling each other, trying to decide how not to get in each other’s way.

  She’d play along. Approaching the end of the bed, she smiled at Daniel. “What can I do for you two gentlemen?”

  “I was just telling Daniel that he can’t return to school right away. That he’ll need to be home-schooled for a while until his site heals. Can you help to arrange that?”

  “I’ll see about it right away.”

  “Did you know that Daniel’s the star of his high-school baseball team?”

  “I had heard that.” In fact, his future had begun to disappear when he hadn’t been able to control his hand movements. Now, because of Ryan’s skill, Daniel had a chance at his dream again. She could forgive some of Ryan’s brashness for that alone. He might lack empathy at times but he had major surgical skills.

  Ryan stood and, grinning, said to Daniel, “I hope to see you playing for the Yankees one day soon. I’ll leave orders for the teacher to be cute and like baseball—how does that sound?”

  Daniel gave him a weak smile but seemed pleased.

  Ryan offered his hand to the teen. Lucy appreciated the way Ryan showed his respect for the young m
an by treating him as an equal. It was a way of giving Daniel a sense of control in a place where he felt he had none. Why hadn’t Ryan given the same consideration to the mother the evening before?

  She followed Ryan out of the room. “You know, Lucy, having you readily available may be a good thing after all.”

  “It isn’t my job to be at your beck and call.”

  “Maybe not, but so far it’s working out well.” He grinned and walked off.

  And she’d thought moving to New York was going to make her life easier. How long was this coordinated patient care agreement supposed to last?

  Hours later all she wanted to do was go home and fall asleep. Instead, she was hunting down Ryan for a signature on a couple of forms. She knew the vicinity of his office but she’d never been there. Punching the automatic door-opener on the wall, she waited then passed through a set of doors that led into a short hallway. Here she was no longer in the sunny land of the patients’ hall. Instead, it turned into the practical world of business. She searched the uniformed name plates until she found Ryan’s beside the second door on the right. It read: “Dr. Ryan O’Doherty, Associate of Neurosurgery”.

  She’d heard talk about Ryan not getting the department head job. Most of the nurses were surprised. They’d all thought he would be a shoo-in. Apparently popularity wasn’t the deciding factor. If it had been and the staff had voted, it would have been unanimous. Even in the OR, where the pressure was greater and personalities sometimes clashed, the staff all seemed to appreciate Ryan’s skill and winning ways. She just wished some of those winning ways would spill over when she had to deal with him.

  His office door stood partially open. She knocked and waited. No answer. The forms had to be signed tonight or first thing in the morning. Maybe she should page him? No, she didn’t want to do that. She’d just leave the forms on his desk and text him, asking him to sign them before he went into the OR. She rolled her eyes. She was sure he’d be real glad to hear from her.

  Apprehensive about entering Ryan’s private space without permission but thinking she had no choice, she stepped into his office. His ever-present lab coat lay across the back of his desk chair. He must have gone for the day if he didn’t have it on. On the other hand, his office door was open.

  She placed the papers on his desk and picked up a pen lying there to write him a note. Maybe he would see them before she had a chance to text him.

  Ryan stepped out of an adjacent doorway into the room.

  She squealed, jumped. Her hand went over her heart before it settled with a thump. “Oh.” Heaven help her, he wasn’t wearing a shirt. She gulped. Coming into his office hadn’t been a good idea.

  Ryan’s slacks hung low on his hips and his belt was undone. She couldn’t take her eyes off his chest. An expanse of muscle covered in a light dusting of hair.

  “What’re you doing here?” he said brusquely. His tone stated clearly he wasn’t pleased to see her. He stepped behind his desk and pulled out a drawer. Removing a shirt, he slipped it on and began to button it.

  She followed his movements as he worked his way up the shirt. His long, tapered fingers moved swiftly. Ryan was a large man to be doing such delicate work as brain surgery. She’d heard he had a gentle touch with the scalpel.

  What would it be like to be caressed by him? What kind of question was that? She shook her head. The last thing she needed to do was get moony-eyed over Ryan O’Doherty.

  “Lucy, did you need something or did you just stop by to gape? Or maybe snoop?” His tone had turned teasing but still held an edge of distrust.

  She straightened and moved away from the desk, trying to gather her poise as she went. “I do not snoop!”

  His mouth quirked at one corner. “Then gape? Because you’ve yet to tell me why you’re here.”

  “I need you to sign these forms so I can get Daniel’s home schooling set up before he’s discharged. These…” she pointed to the papers to prove she was telling the truth “…have to be in by tomorrow to make the deadline. That’s if you still want him to have a cute teacher. They’ll be all gone by tomorrow afternoon I was told,” she said with the most insincere saccharine smile she could muster.

  “Why, Ms. Edwards, you surprise me. I had no idea you had a sense of humor.”

  Ryan should’ve been livid at finding Lucy in his office without permission. This was his private domain and he wanted it to remain that way. The look of surprise on her face and the widening of her eyes when she’d seen his state of undress had defused his anger. She hadn’t immediately turned away. Instead, her eyes had grown darker, her gaze fixed on his chest. It hadn’t been one of her shy looks but one of bold appraisal. Pure male satisfaction had won out over his irritation. His ego officially skyrocketed.

  She huffed, stepped over to the desk and picked up the papers. “If you would just sign these, I can get out of your way.”

  For some reason he was a little disappointed at the idea. This was the most entertaining time he’d spent with someone in a long time. Who would have thought he’d find the quiet, ordinary woman interesting? No, ordinary was the wrong word. There was nothing ordinary about Lucy.

  Ryan picked up the forms and reviewed them. Setting them down again, he took the pen she’d dropped and signed a form. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw her looking around. He had learned quickly that she was observant, almost intuitive about people. What was she learning about him?

  He glanced at her as he pulled the second form to him. She studied his shelves filled with books intermingled with pictures and baseball memorabilia. Her gaze moved on to the opposite wall. There hung a framed picture of a Yankees baseball game in progress, which took up most of the space. Putting down the pen, he turned to sit on the edge of his desk. Lucy’s consideration had traveled to the framed pictures on his desk.

  Before he realized it, he’d said, “Those are my nieces and nephews.” He pointed toward a picture with two dark-haired women in it. “My sisters.” He rarely volunteered personal information to anyone. No wonder Lucy was so good at her job. Something about her made people want to tell her their secrets.

  His gut clenched. He didn’t want her to know his. “Is there anything else?” His words sounded more dismissive than he’d intended. He handed the forms to her.

  All business again, she said, “I’ll see that they are faxed before I go home.”

  He watched her leave his office. Why all of a sudden was he looking forward to coming to work the next day?

  Ryan’s running shoes made a rhythmic sound as he took the turn in the paved path on his way back to the hospital. He slowed when he saw Lucy sitting on a park bench. Her head was tipped back, her face held up to the sun. That golden rope of hair gleamed in the light. She’d removed her heavy cardigan and had her legs stretched out in front of her. He hadn’t known her long but he suspected this was the most uninhibited she’d been in a long time.

  She really was an attractive woman who seemed to want to blend in, go unnoticed. It hadn’t worked where he was concerned. He’d noticed too much.

  As he grew closer, he could see that her eyes were closed. He wouldn’t have disturbed her but just as he approached she shifted and sat up as if jolted awake.

  “Hey,” she said, drowsiness in her voice.

  “Hey.” He liked this off-guard Lucy. When she had her full faculties back in a second she’d close off fast. She acted as if she was wary of everyone and everything.

  “Been running.” She stated the obvious as he was standing there drenched in perspiration and wearing a sweatshirt and shorts.

  “Yeah, one of the perks of working at Angel’s is that the park is so close.”

  “I think so too. I already miss the lakes, forests and the spaciousness of the suburbs of Atlanta. Somehow knowing I can come to the park helps.” She began to put on her sweater.

  What had caused her to make such a drastic move? He couldn’t ask that type of question if he wasn’t prepared to share in return. “Have you had
a chance to explore the park?”

  She laughed. “It may not surprise you to hear that I’m afraid I might get lost. So I don’t get out of sight of the hospital.”

  He smiled down at her. “Maybe I can give you a tour some time. We’ll leave breadcrumbs if necessary.”

  “If I’m along, it’ll be necessary.”

  “Well, I’ll leave you to your sunning.”

  “I’ve got to go in too. I need to get some lunch before I meet you for clinic.”

  “I don’t know if it’s necessary for you to be at clinic today.”

  She stood and faced him with an unwavering look. “Why not? I thought we were past having this discussion.”

  He held up a hand. “It has nothing to do with me not wanting you there. I’m only going to be seeing patients who were discharged before you arrived.”

  Her face relaxed. “I see. Just the same, I’d like to be there.”

  She started towards the hospital without a backward glance at him. He’d been dismissed, something he wasn’t used to having happen from anyone other than his sisters.

  Lucy entered the doctors’ shared clinic building attached to the hospital. Ryan’s day of the week to see patients was Wednesday. She looked around the waiting area of the clinic. It had large glass windows that provided a view of Central Park. Painted on the walls were murals with happy-faced animals. The orange furniture and light green carpet created a happy effect. Toy tables sat in an open space to the side. It was a place where children wouldn’t be afraid to come.

  She found Ryan waiting in the hall of the clinic. “I’m sorry, I’m late. No matter how much time I allow myself, I still eat it up having to backtrack everywhere I go.” Lucy said as she caught her breath.

  He smiled. “I’m starting to expect it.”

  “I’m getting better. I can get to work without getting off the subway and doubling back a station. I do get my exercise, though.”

  Ryan gave her body frank consideration. “I can see that you do.”

  Warmth washed over her. It felt wonderful to have a man look at her with interest. In the past few days they’d managed to develop a working relationship that was at least doable if not comfortable. On her part, she’d spent longer than normal getting to know Ryan’s patients and their families. On his, he seemed to at least tolerate having her around.