NYC Angels: The Wallflower's Secret

by Susan Carlisle

  He had the phone to his ear. From the questions he was asking, he was speaking to someone at the hospital. His dedication to his job was one of the many facets of his personality she admired. Caring for his patients was his top priority. That compassion extended to her.

  Looking up, he gave her a smile of encouragement. She made an effort to return it but she didn’t think she pulled it off when his brows dipped in concern. The self-conscious feeling when he watched her intensified while she gathered her underwear. She wasn’t used to that kind of scrutiny from anybody, particularly from a devastatingly sexy man.

  She stepped into her tiny closet and pushed clothes around on the rack, unable to make up her mind about what to wear. A long arm reached past her. She squeaked.

  Ryan pulled a hanger supporting an aqua-colored sweater dress off the pole. “I like you in this one.” He hung it on the hook on the closet door. “You wore it the third day you came to work.”

  “You noticed?” She’d had no idea he’d observed her that closely.

  “Yeah, I noticed a lot of things about you.” Ryan reached an arm around her waist and pulled her back to his front. His fingers splayed over her robe to cover her stomach.

  She rested against him, enjoying the warmth and strength of him that seeped through her. He kissed her neck. She shivered.

  He moved upwards and found that spot behind her ear. The one he’d discovered the night before. He kissed it. “You’re so tense. Honey, you’ve got to ease up on yourself or you’re going to make yourself sick. I know just what to do to relieve that stress.” The hand on her stomach pressed her back against him even more, leaving her in no doubt what he meant. He continued to nibble at her ear.

  Her head fell against his shoulder. He slipped a hand beneath her robe and cupped a breast. She panted softly as his fingers teased, working their magic. His hand slid downwards as he pushed the robe open, leaving a trail of heat along her skin. Pulling at the belt of her robe, he gained access to her bare body. His hand inched further down. His index finger flirted with her opening then retreated. She moaned. Warm heat pooled in her.

  “Lucy?”

  “Mmm?”

  He whispered against her ear. “What do you want?”

  “More.” She felt his smile against her skin.

  His finger slipped in to find her core. She went up on tiptoe and leaned back against him.

  “How do you feel?”

  “Good.”

  “How good?” His finger moved again.

  “Oh, so good.”

  Ryan watched as Lucy nibbled at her bottom lip. Her unease had increased as they’d waited for the elevator that would take them up to Alexis’s floor. Letting go of his hand, she pushed at her hair. It wasn’t necessary because she’d swirled and curled it, pulling the mass into a messy knot at the back of her neck. “How’re you feeling?” he asked. “I was better earlier.”

  She still sounded more stressed than he would have liked. She was going to scare her sister if she didn’t lighten up some.

  “Do we need to find a closet?” he asked.

  He laughed at her stricken look. “We can’t have sex every time I’m upset.”

  “I don’t know. I’m available.”

  She gave a real smile for the first time since he’d left her at her apartment that morning. “Thanks for the offer. I’ll keep that in mind.”

  He’d watched the movement of her lips and had immediately wanted to find somewhere private. Getting enough of her was becoming a problem.

  As they rode up in the elevator, her frantic look became more pronounced. She fumbled with her purse, dropping it. Picking it up, Ryan handed it back to her. “Honey, take a deep breath.”

  She did so.

  Where had the woman gone who had marched into his office and told him off in no uncertain terms?

  “Now, give me your hand.” He held out his hand palm up and gave her his most reassuring grin.

  The door of the elevator slid open and they stepped into the hall. Lucy’s grip tightened as they neared the door of her sister’s apartment, as if she was drawing strength from him. Standing in front of the door, she tried to pull her hand from his. She was going to run.

  He brought her close, kissing her until she melted against him. “You can do this.” He gave her another quick peck.

  She nodded and squared her shoulders. Ryan knocked on the door.

  CHAPTER EIGHT

  LUCY WAS STILL under Ryan’s spell until the door opened and Alexis rushed out, wrapping Lucy in a bear hug.

  “Oh, Lucy, it’s so good to see you. I’ve missed you.” Alexis sounded as if she was choked up with happiness.

  Shame washed over Lucy as she stiffened in her twin’s embrace. Afraid Alexis would pick up on the slightest vibe, she returned the hug. She didn’t want her sister to know, wouldn’t let her know. She couldn’t hurt her sister.

  Alexis released her and looked at Ryan.

  Lucy gathered her thoughts enough to say, “Alexis, this is Ryan O’Doherty. A…uh…friend of mine.”

  Ryan smiled his killer smile. “Hi, Alexis. It’s nice to meet you. I knew you weren’t identical twins but I still see the family resemblance in the eyes.” The O’Doherty charm was flowing.

  Alexis grinned.

  Lucy appreciated him picking up the introduction. It gave her time to gather herself.

  “Y’all come in.” Alexis turned and opened the door wider.

  Ryan’s large warm hand rested on Lucy’s back, a reassuring reminder that he was there for her. He had her back figuratively and literally.

  “Your sister has a nice drawl but it isn’t as sweet as yours,” he whispered into her ear before closing the door behind them. As they entered the living area, a smiling Sam was carrying little Emily to meet them. Lucy froze. Ryan almost stumbled into her. Gracefully, he recovered and stood beside her. His hand brushed up then down her back, letting her know that he was aware of her response.

  “Lucy, we’re so glad to see you. We thought if you were too busy to come see us we’d just come see you.”

  “Hi, uh…Sam.” She faltered with his name, her attention so completely focused on Emily.

  “I’m Ryan O’Doherty.”

  She barely registered Ryan speaking. The two men shook hands.

  Only because she’d lost the warmth of Ryan’s hand did her gaze break away from the baby. She had grown so much and become more beautiful since she’d seen her.

  Sam pulled her into a one-armed hug and she returned it quickly. She never wanted to see that unsure look on Alexis’s face again.

  Alexis’s attention turned to Ryan. “So, are you the doctor who keeps Lucy so busy that she doesn’t have time to call us?” She moved to stand beside Sam.

  Ryan glanced at Lucy and winked. “We’ve been busy.” His look suggested something different than hospital business.

  Lucy couldn’t help but give him a small smile. His wink always made her feel as if she belonged. He was trying so hard to ease her out of her worries but the intense jealousy stuck like chewed gum. Her attention turned back to the little cherub in Sam’s arms. She itched to reach for Emily and pull her close to inhale her baby fresh smell. But she couldn’t. It would be too hard to let her go. She stepped away to put some space between her and the child.

  “This is Emily,” Sam proudly said to Ryan. “Our baby girl.”

  For the first time the deep searing pain she normally felt when Sam made that statement wasn’t as strong. Thankfully the ache was easing. Becoming what it should be. Although everything in her still begged to reach out and take Emily, but she dared not do it.

  “Come on in and have a seat.” Alexis directed them to the living area. Two sofas faced each other with a low table between them. “Let me take your coats. We thought we’d just have dinner catered in. It would be so much easier than going out with Emily. That way we can really talk.” She placed the coats over a chair near the door.

  “That sounds nice.” Lucy forced out
the polite comment as she took a seat on the sofa.

  How had she let her feelings get so out of control that she had to make an effort to have a conversation with her sister? She didn’t like it but didn’t know what to do about it. It was as if she and Alexis were old friends trying to find common ground again.

  They’d been everything to each other before Emily had come along. Alexis marrying Sam had changed things between them but that had been nothing compared to how they’d been after Emily had arrived. They’d once shared everything but now Lucy hid a crippling ugly secret.

  Ryan sat beside her, not too close but near enough that his leg lightly touched her knee. The small contact fortified her.

  “Before I settle down for a talk, I need to get Emily a bottle. Hope you like Italian, Ryan. It’s Lucy’s favorite.”

  “I shouldn’t be surprised. She lives above an Italian restaurant.”

  Alexis looked at Lucy. “Really? I didn’t know that.”

  “Yeah, I haven’t had a chance to tell you,” Lucy said.

  “Well, you’ll have to tell me all about it over dinner. It should be here soon,” Alexis said, before going into the other room.

  The doorbell rang. “That’ll be our food,” Sam said. “Hey, Lucy, would you hold Emily while I get that?” He handed the child to her without waiting for a reply.

  Could she touch Emily and not break down? She cradled the soft, cuddly baby to her chest with trembling arms.

  Sam left them.

  She nuzzled Emily’s neck, pulling her close.

  “She’s a cutie,” Ryan said. “You’re an exceptional person Lucy Edwards.”

  Her heart lightened. He thought she was special. She hadn’t realized how much she’d needed to hear that. Ryan being the one who believed she was incredible made it twice as nice.

  Ryan offered his finger to Emily and she clutched it with a chubby hand.

  Lucy glanced at Ryan. He watched her intently with a mixture of concern and amazement on his handsome face. Was he judging her reactions?

  “How’re you doing?” he asked quietly.

  “I’m making it.” She turned to Emily so that she could see the child’s face. Alexis’s features were showcased there, not her own. Something shifted inside her, allowing her heart to let go. She no longer felt like a spurned mother but an aunt. Still, her envy for what Alexis had still festered. She wanted her own child, a husband, family. To belong. To never be pushed out again.

  “I’m proud of you.” Ryan gave her a quick kiss on the temple.

  Alexis returned. “I see that Emily’s enjoying getting to know her auntie again. Hasn’t she grown?”

  She gave them all a bright smile and took Emily from Lucy, who let the baby go with less reluctance than she’d expected. Mercifully, Alexis was so caught up in Emily that she didn’t notice how uncomfortable Lucy was. At least she’d been able to cover it well. Without Ryan’s reassuring presence, she would have broken down and spilled her horrible secret.

  “She has grown. Is she a good baby?” Lucy managed to ask, clasping her hands together.

  “The best.” Alexis sat, adjusted Emily and put a bottle in her mouth.

  When Ryan’s large hand covered hers, Lucy held on tight.

  Ryan was impressed with how well Lucy was handling what he’d come to realize was an extremely difficult situation for her. She was making all the right noises and had even held Emily without breaking into pieces. He was proud of her. She was trying, but the strain showed in the tension around her lips and her rigid posture.

  He’d been emotionally empty after his father had died and had kept it together only because his sisters had needed him. He never thought he’d willingly be anyone’s emotional crutch again. Then along had come Lucy with her big blue eyes and quiet ways, and here he was doing everything in his power to support her, encourage her.

  She could’ve done it without him. He’d seen her spunk and determination when she’d told him off. It had made him feel like he was important to her when she’d asked him to come along here. She believed she needed him.

  Sam brought the food to the table and came back to join them.

  “Here. You finish with Emily,” Alexis said, offering the baby to her husband, “and I’ll take care of the food. Lucy, come help me and we can talk.”

  Lucy hesitated a second before she scooted away from Ryan to go to the dining table.

  Lucy had given the impression she was shy when they’d met but in reality she had a backbone as sturdy as the Brooklyn Bridge and the sweetest way of showing a man that he mattered. She didn’t give half. She gave all.

  He glanced away from where Sam was settling in a chair with his daughter to the women moving around the table. As always his attention rested on the gutsy blonde woman. Lucy would be a fierce warrior and protector of anyone she loved. That’s why she cared so deeply for Alexis and for Emily. It was who she was. She expected to receive the same in return. Would accept nothing less. Could he give it? He had no choice but to try, unable to imagine her not being in his life.

  “Lucy’s a special person,” Sam said.

  Ryan looked at him. Was that a warning? “Yes, she is. Very special.” He glanced in Lucy’s direction a number of times to check on her. The tension in her face had eased. He was sure that having something to focus her mind on helped.

  Alexis obviously doted on Lucy. They shared some facial features but that was where the resemblance ended. Where Lucy was tall and unassuming, Alexis was petit and feisty. He liked Alexis but Lucy’s gentle, easy way suited him much better. Even Sam had shown his affection for Lucy in his hug when they had arrived and his smiles in her direction. She had a family who obviously cared for her so why did she feel like she was on the outside?

  “Okay, guys, food’s on the table,” called Alexis.

  They gathered around the small table. He let his leg touch Lucy’s. Just a reminder that he believed in her.

  She gave him a weak smile.

  Alexis spent most of the meal tending to Emily, who sat in a seat on the floor beside her mother. Sam watched the mother and child with a look of adoration on his face. Ryan now understood why Lucy felt like an outsider. Alexis and Sam probably had no idea of how they shut others out. Lucy would never tell them. She watched them also as if she couldn’t pull her eyes away.

  “Lucy, how do you like that great big old hospital you are working in now?” Sam asked.

  “It’s fine.”

  “She stays lost half the time,” Ryan remarked smiling at her. “I’ve threatened to send a search party out for her a number of times.”

  Lucy grinned but it didn’t reach her eyes.

  “Sam, you interested in baseball?” Ryan asked, trying to steer the discussion away from her. Her face showed obvious relief when the conversation turned into a heated discussion about who would win the baseball pennant that fall.

  During a lull, Ryan looked at Lucy. Her attention was on her plate as she pushed her food around. She had eaten little.

  Alexis must have noticed also because she asked, “Lucy, are you feeling okay?”

  “Oh, yeah. I’m fine.” Lucy sounded artificially bright.

  Just then Emily demanded Alexis’s attention and she let the subject drop.

  Sam, watching his wife and child, said, “Lucy, thank you so much for giving us this.”

  If Ryan hadn’t been so in tune with Lucy he might have missed her barely perceptible flinch. That was the last thing she needed to hear. Emily was a gift she’d given her sister out of love and the Lucy he knew didn’t want them to feel indebted. Being reminded of what she’d done made her feel uncomfortable. He found her hand under the table and gave it a reassuring squeeze. She gripped it back as if it were a lifeline.

  “This little one has fallen asleep. It’s time for bed,” Alexis said. “Lucy, would you like to help me?”

  “Sure,” Lucy said, with little eagerness. Before she left the table she looked at him. He smiled encouragingly.

 
Ryan liked Alexis and Sam but couldn’t they see how hard this was on Lucy? If Alexis wasn’t so caught up in being a new mother she would notice Lucy was less than excited about being here. Lucy put on the same determined face he’d seen her wear when she was fighting for a patient as she followed Alexis and a drowsy Emily into another room.

  He’d never been prouder of anyone. She was fighting an emotional battle like a champion. Heaven help him. He’d fallen in love.

  It was a wonderful, scary and totally bewildering feeling. Yet somehow so right.

  Lucy stood motionless in the doorway of the bedroom. Alexis would be destroyed if she ever found out her twin wanted to run.

  Why couldn’t she handle this better? Her job was to help people through tough situations and she couldn’t even be rational about her own problems. Known for her calming and forthright encouragement with patients’ families, she was completely irrational where her own issues were concerned. She was such a fraud.

  “Would you mind taking her dress off while I get her nightclothes together?” Alexis asked over her shoulder as she laid Emily in a crib. “I had no idea it took so much stuff to travel with someone so small.”

  Lucy took a breath. Just knowing Ryan was close had gotten her this far. She stepped to the bed and began to undress Emily. The sleepy-eyed baby looked up at her with complete trust. Unable to stop herself, Lucy leaned down and gave Emily a kiss on her forehead.

  She wanted what Alexis had. Not this child, but her own. A family.

  Alexis’s bright sunny world was in complete contrast to the dark, lonely one Lucy lived in. Jealousy was a nasty emotion and Lucy wanted it to go away.

  “I hate to wake a sleeping baby to change her clothes but I wanted her to look cute when you got here.” Alexis came up beside Lucy, who gave the job of dressing Emily over to her.

  Minutes later, as Alexis finished tucking Emily into her crib, Sam entered and came to stand beside the crib. Lucy stepped back, giving him room. He kissed Emily then, putting an arm around Alexis’s shoulders, he kissed her temple. Together they looked down at their sleeping child. It was a poignant family moment.