“Oh, Alexis, he told me he loved me.”
Alexis squealed. “That’s wonderful.”
“I said he couldn’t. I pushed him away.”
Alexis’s eyes widen in disbelief. “Why did you do that?”
“He told me right after we left your place. I was already upset. I didn’t think he could or should love anyone who was jealous of her own sister.”
Alexis huffed and reached across the table, taking one of Lucy’s hands in her own. “Isn’t that just like a man? To pick the worst possible moment, when we’re not thinking straight, to say something like I love you for the first time.”
“I’ve hurt him so badly. He won’t have anything to do with me now.”
“Honey, all you have to do is tell him that you love him too.”
“What if he’s changed his mind?”
Alexis snorted. “He’d be crazy if he did.”
“We barely speak.”
“I don’t think you’re giving him or yourself enough credit. He doesn’t strike me as a man who gives up on someone he loves.”
Could she convince Ryan of her love? “I don’t know…”
“Lucy, you’ve changed. You’re more self-sufficient. More confident. Almost outspoken. You do it the same way you came to talk to me. Make Ryan listen. If he doesn’t, it’s his loss.”
Lucy’s greatest fear was that it would be her loss too.
Ryan clicked a computer key, making the screen go black. Matherson’s email requested that he and Lucy meet with him to discuss the co-ordinated patient care project. He and Lucy hadn’t had a real conversation other than that short one in the park in over a week. She’d not even shown up for evening rounds the day before. He hadn’t wanted to wonder where she was or, worse, worry about her. He’d done both.
She’d started to treat New York more like home but she could still easily get lost. As tender-hearted as she was, she could even be guided wrongly by someone in the subway. He loved her and was intensely concerned. Nothing between them had diminished since the night she’d pushed him out of her life. The separation made his ache for her bottomless. He wanted her not to matter but regardless of what he did he couldn’t get her out of his mind and heart.
He hated to admit to the mountain-sized relief he’d felt when she’d slipped into the clinic examination room that afternoon during Miguel Rivera’s post-surgery check-up. Doing a double-take, he’d looked at her again. She’d cut her hair. It was loose and flowing, touching the top of her shoulders. His heart had skipped. She’d looked gorgeous. As much as he loved her hair, this version was every bit as breathtaking as the other.
Lucy had replaced her rather drab clothes with a straight skirt, a blouse of light blue and a multicolored sweater that showed off her breasts to their best advantage. Was she trying to kill him? He was confused. What was happening here?
Miguel’s mother’s face lit up when she saw Lucy. After she’d spoken to the mother, she looked at him and gave him a shy smile.
She kept the sucker punches coming. She hadn’t met his look straight on in days, much less smiled at him. He didn’t know what had happened to make her change her reaction to him but he wouldn’t complain. Still, he couldn’t let her super-sexy smile fool him into believing that she wanted anything more than a stable working relationship. He wouldn’t let her stomp on his heart again. Heck, she was still stomping on it. His sense of self-preservation refused to let her know what she was doing to him.
What she’d said to him in the park about him letting his father’s illness control his life had made him mad. He’d stewed over it. Where did she get off, telling him something like that? When his temper had cooled he’d realized that she might be right.
Ryan cleared his throat and said flatly, “Will you translate?”
Her smile faded. “Yes.” Her professional armor slid into place.
He smiled at the mother. “Please tell her that Miguel’s doing well. And that she’s been doing a fine job in caring for the wound.”
He waited while Lucy relayed his remark.
Miguel’s mother smiled at Ryan. “Gracias.”
It did feel good to have a parent look at him with something more than disappointment. With his examination completed he said, “Please bring Miguel in to see me again in six weeks. I hope you are taking care of yourself also.” Lucy repeated his request in Spanish with a slight smile on her face. While she was doing so, he picked up Miguel. “He’s a handsome boy.” Ryan smiled at the mother again.
The mother said something to Lucy and giggled, before taking Miguel and heading towards the door. Lucy responded with a grin. He raised his chin in question.
“She said you’re handsome also. I agreed,” she said, so softly he wasn’t sure he’d heard it.
“You got Matherson’s email?”
Her smile slipped. “I did.”
“I’ll see you there, then.”
“Sure.” She looked at him as if she wanted to say more. When she didn’t, he left. If he stayed any longer he was afraid he might do something he’d regret. Like take her in his arms and beg her to reconsider. Tell her he’d do anything to work things out between them.
CHAPTER TEN
LUCY CONTINUED DOWN the corridor, paying special attention to the signs directing her to the HR department. The enormous hospital still intimidated her when she got off her beaten path. She’d not returned to the HR department since the day she and Ryan had met. She didn’t remember much about how she’d gotten there and certainly recalled little from Ryan’s guided trip other than his displeasure.
She’d checked her emails in the hope he’d offer to walk down with her, but after their few terse words during Miguel’s clinic visit she’d not been surprised when there had been none. She’d hurt him so deeply that his gentleman’s manners were slipping where she was concerned.
He remained polite, which was the O’Doherty way, but there was a ten-foot-high, eight-foot-thick wall around him with no door for her to beat on. He still charmed the nurses and the children but there was a look in his eyes that she couldn’t quite put a name to, or didn’t want to. She’d give anything to see him grin at her.
With relief and only one double back, she pushed the HR door open to find Ryan already there. He reclined in a chair, his white lab coat unbuttoned. His tie looked as if he’d tugged on it in irritation and his hair was in disarray. He glanced at the clock on the wall. She smiled to herself. He knew she had a hard time finding her way around the hospital. It served him right to have to wait since he’d not offered to walk down with her.
He looked tired. There had been a number of new cases in the last few days but his weariness seemed to come from deeper inside. His eyes lacked that twinkle she’d grown accustomed to and loved. Had she been the cause of that luster disappearing? If she’d thought he would allow it, she would have taken him in her arms.
Was he sleeping as poorly as she was? Even though she and Alexis had cleared the air, her life still had a gaping hole. What she missed sat in front of her, but he might as well be a hundred miles away. Ryan had never looked less approachable.
Ryan glanced at her and she gave him a hesitant smile. He didn’t return it. Would he ever forgive her?
She glanced to where the receptionist should be sitting and saw no one then looked at Ryan. “Where’s the receptionist? Does Matherson know you’re here?”
“No one was around when I got here. I knew you would probably be late so I was waiting before I looked for Matherson.”
He stood. His somewhat unruly locks looked even more so, as if he’d been running his hands through it regularly. She wished she could. The thought did her no good. Only made her want what she couldn’t have.
Ryan straightened his lab coat then stepped toward her. Her breath caught. Was he going to touch her? Instead, he stepped past her. Sorrow filled her.
“Come on, let’s get this over with,” Ryan grumbled. “I still have work to do and it’s been a long week.”
; He didn’t look at her after that statement. Had what had happened between them affected his week? They had started down the short hall in the direction of Matherson’s office when he stepped out of it.
“Good. Here you are,” he said, all smiles. “Sorry you had to wait. My receptionist left early.”
The man sounded far too cheerful for her liking. By the curl to Ryan’s lip, he wasn’t too impressed either. Maybe Matherson wouldn’t drag this meeting out. As soon as she got this over with she was going home to a hot bath. She glanced at Ryan. Maybe a good cleansing cry as well.
“Come in. Have a seat,” Matherson said as he took his chair behind the desk that was too large for the room.
Ryan stood to the side, letting her enter the office ahead of him. It was the closest they had been in days. As she passed, she caught a hint of the scent that was Ryan’s alone. With great effort she managed not to step closer to him, though her body vibrated with the need to.
She was relieved when she sat as her knees had begun to wobble. Ryan waited until she settled into her chair before he took his. The chairs were situated so close that when he placed his arm on the rest, it came within an inch of hers. She moved her arm and clasped her hands in her lap, fearing the powerful urge she had to touch him.
“So,” Matherson began, leaning back in his chair, “how’s the co-operative patient care working out between you two?” He ended the question with a sappy smile.
Ryan shifted slightly in his chair at Matherson’s use of the words “you two”.
“Fine,” she and Ryan said at the same time, not looking at each other.
“That’s all you have to report?” Matherson looked back and forth between them, his brow contracting “Could you be more specific, Dr. O’Doherty?”
“I think it has gone pretty much as I expected. I thought little of the idea to begin with and still do. The only difference between how I handled patient care before and what I do now is that I have to call Ms. Edwards before I meet the patient. Which does take time.”
She glanced at Ryan then scooted forward in her chair, gaining Matherson’s attention. “He had to wait a couple of times for me. I’m new to the hospital and had to learn my way around. The same for the city. I don’t believe that lessens my effectiveness.”
“So you believe the project has merit?” Matherson asked.
“I do.” She glanced at Ryan again and found him looking straight ahead. “I assisted in the patient’s and the family’s emotional needs. Something that surgeons often don’t address. I thought from the total patient care aspect it has value,” Lucy volunteered. “I was involved early on in easing family into the reality they were facing.”
Ryan snorted. His manners had disappeared. She and Matherson looked at him. “Yes, but I’m not sure that the hand-holding is necessary when the patient is in the ER.”
She swung to face Ryan. One of her knees bumping his hard thigh sent a shock wave through her before she pulled it away. “Really, Dr. O’Doherty? You seemed to appreciate my hand-holding just fine when you needed a translator.” She couldn’t keep the edge out of her voice.
Ryan didn’t look at her but at Matherson. “I concede that. Ms. Edwards was of value then.”
Ooh, the man! Lucy waited until Ryan and Matherson were both looking at her. Through clenched teeth she said, “Are you implying that what I do isn’t as important as being the all-powerful, all-knowing surgeon?”
“What I’m saying is that we don’t have to be joined at the hip,” he said through a taut jaw.
She flinched at his choice of words. Was he baiting her? Reminding herself to remain professional, she responded, “You’re right.” She turned to Matherson. “We shouldn’t have been required to attend Jack Carter’s party together.”
“So that didn’t go well?” Matherson sat forward as if he was enjoying their exchange.
“There are parts that are better left not discussed,” she murmured.
Someone called from the outer office. “Anyone here?”
“If you will excuse me a minute, I’ll be right back.” Matherson said, coming around the desk and heading out the door.
“So, do you have something particular in mind?” Ryan leaned toward her.
Two could play this game. “Yes, as a matter of fact I do.”
“Then why not just say it? I’m sure Mr. Matherson would be interested. You’ve had no trouble speaking your mind before.”
He was right. Since she’d moved to New York, no, met him, she’d taken to speaking up for herself. But this wasn’t the time. The discussion was too personal. Too heart-wrenching. “Ryan, please don’t do this here,” she whispered.
“Why not? I admit I kissed you. And what’s more, you liked it.”
“Please, Matherson can hear you,” she whispered in desperation.
“You don’t think I show my feelings enough,” he said, standing and pulling her up out of the chair. “How about this for showing some emotion?”
His mouth came down on hers hard and heavy as if he wanted to brand her and consume her at the same time. Nothing in her life had felt more wonderful. She curved a hand around his neck, savoring the moment she’d thought never to have again. With a soft moan of bliss she leaned in and soaked in the feel of him. Her world turned, funneled into a tornado and Ryan was the eye. Nothing mattered but the feel of his lips on hers.
The loud clearing of a throat from the doorway broke them apart. Matherson stood there, a look of shock on his face.
Blood rushed up her neck. The stricken and surprised look on Matherson’s face had to match hers. She glanced at Ryan. He was grinning like he’d just made the winning home run in the bottom of the ninth at a Yankees game.
What had just happened? She’d been kissing the surgeon she’d been assigned to work with in front of the head of the HR department! It hadn’t been just any kiss. It had been an open-mouthed, moaning kiss. Could she feel more mortified? She’d learned to stand up for herself in the last few weeks but Ryan’s—and admittedly her own—kiss had been far out of her comfort zone when done in front of an audience.
She couldn’t meet Matherson’s gaze, and she sure wasn’t going to look at Ryan. Appalled at their actions, she still wanted to step back into Ryan’s arms and have his generous lips find hers again. She desired more than a kiss. Her body shook with the need to draw him to her. “I have to go.”
Her knee hit the chair leg in her fervor to leave the room. Not sure how she did it, she made her way out of the office and the department. Wishing for her old sensible shoes back, she walked as fast as her new heels would allow. At the first bank of elevators she pushed the button for the eighth floor. Getting in the first door that opened, she rode up. Not until they opened again did she realize it was the eighth floor of a different wing of the hospital.
She wanted to stomp on the floor and scream Ryan, Ryan, Ryan. Instead, she took her frustration out on the down call button and punched it with the end of her finger. Why had he done it? Why had he kissed her in front of Matherson? She’d never been more embarrassed in her life. Did he mean anything by it other than to kiss her into submission? Regardless, it had been heaven to have his mouth on hers again.
Ryan lounged against the wall outside Lucy’s office door. He crossed his hands over his chest and prepared to wait. This time he didn’t mind doing so. The taste of Lucy lingered on his lips. She’d returned his kiss. Held nothing back, even in front of Matherson. Maybe there was hope after all.
When she turned the corner of the hall a few minutes later, he suppressed a smile. The Lucy that had stood up to him was back. He’d seen some evidence of it in Matherson’s office but by the look on her face now, he knew he was in for it. The best part was that he was looking forward to the fight and hopefully the making up. The last week had been one of pure misery.
As she stalked toward him he said, “You got lost again.”
He smiled when she mumbled, “Darned elevators.” She stopped beside him and shoved her key in
the door. “I don’t need you making fun of me. You’ve hardly spoken to me in a week.” She turned to face him. “Then you pulled that stunt in front of Matherson.”
Lucy flung her hair back as she turned to fiddle with the key. “How could you?”
Her wildflower scent touched his nostrils. He wanted to bury his nose in that warm, silky spot on her neck that he knew so well and inhale all of her. Pushing down a groan, he leaned towards her. “If you don’t talk sweeter to me, I just might do it again right here.”
She jerked her head up to look down the hall toward the nurses’ station. “Don’t,” she muttered.
“Why, Lucy? Because you’re afraid you might like it? I thought you were the one who believes in sharing feelings.”
She pushed the office door open and entered. He followed, not giving her a chance to close the door on him.
“You might not lose your job, but I could.”
“No, you won’t. I told Matherson I’d be glad to continue working with you. That I thought he made a much better matchmaker than HR director.”
“You said that?” she squeaked.
He shut the office door behind him. For once he appreciated an automatic lock. “Okay, maybe I left that last part off.”
She turned to face him, hands on her hips. “If we continue to work together you can’t kiss me every time I voice my opinion.”
“Yes, I can.” He grinned, stepping a pace closer, grateful the office was small.
“Huh?”
“I think you love me.”
She blinked. Then a smile formed on her lips. “Pretty sure of yourself, aren’t you, Dr. O’Doherty?”
He moved closer until her breasts touched his chest. “Kiss me again, Lucy.”
She placed her hands on his shoulders and looked into his dark blue eyes as she touched her lips to his. Heaven. He opened for her and she slipped her tongue in to meet his. He greeted and encouraged it. Her hands moved to wrap around his neck as he became master of the kiss, drawing her to him and heating her so that she melted against him.
Divine minutes later he pulled away and looked into her face as he combed his fingers through her hair. “You cut it.” He groaned with disappointment.
NYC Angels: The Wallflower's Secret Page 16