"Right, of course, because when Olivia and I see our sister, it will not be you...” That was too much for Elizabeth to digest, this whole plan seemed insane. “I guess you did not think everything through when you concocted this scheme.”
“It was never supposed to go this far, I admit it spiralled out of control when Daisy confessed to me that she wanted to marry the Duke.”
“And you did not mind that?”
“Truly not, it saved me having to marry him, and now I work for Lord Oakley.”
Her true emotions when it came to Ewan must have shown across her face as she said his name because Elizabeth jumped on that immediately. "Do you have feelings for this Lord? Could you not marry him?"
“I do not think so,” Iris replied sadly. “Because he knows me only as Daisy, the lowborn girl.”
“But you are not lowborn...”
“But if I told him the truth, my reputation would be ruined, you and Olivia would be affected, as would Daisy. I think that she is happy now, at least I hope so. I have not spoken to her since.”
Elizabeth stared her sister up and down, still trying to process everything. None of it made much sense, but she could not deny that there was a newness to her sister. Iris looked shiny and joyful.
“Well, I do not think I like any of this,” she said cautiously. “But you do seem a lot happier now than I have ever seen you before.”
“Oh I am, I really am.” Iris clapped her hands together gleefully. "I really am, my life as it is, now suits me so much more than it did before. I guess that is why I am so worried that things might fall apart. I do not want to lose what I have now."
“I suppose I will need to speak with Olivia then, ensure that she understands what is happening.”
“Yes, please. I know it is a lot to ask of you, Elizabeth, but I would really appreciate it if you could help her to understand. You have always been much better at explaining things than me.” Iris paused, just for a second. “I would also like it if you make contact with Daisy, to see how she is doing. I would like to know that she is doing well.”
“Of course. It may also help her to learn that I know the truth. Maybe she has been just as worried as you. I will write to you as soon as I have news.”
Iris did not bother to comment that Daisy wasn't the one who worried in the way that Iris did. Elizabeth did not know her as well as Iris, she had spent much less time with her. "Thank you so much, Elizabeth. Just remember to address the letter to Daisy."
“So, you will be Daisy forever now?”
“I do not know.” Iris shrugged helplessly. “At the moment, I am just taking it a day at a time.”
“Wow.” Elizabeth fell back in her seat with a thoughtful look on her face. “So much has changed. Olivia and her children are back home, father is gone, Daisy is married to the Duke in place of you, and you are now a maid.”
“You are the only one who has things the same.”
“Actually, no.” Elizabeth gave her a cheeky smile. It seemed that she had some news of her own to share, which excited Iris. “I have some news of my own. I am actually about to have a baby.”
Chapter 28
Iris could not believe it, her mind spun with the news that her sister was about to have a child. It seemed that she had managed to overcome her aversion to her husband for long enough to conceive. From what she had been told, Elizabeth had not fallen madly in love with her husband, but she was thrilled by the idea of becoming a mother. The idea of having a child, allowed her to see past everything else.
Iris could really see her being a wonderful mother, she had a caring, sweet nature, and she had also spent a lot of her life looking after her. The child in her belly was a very lucky being. Having Elizabeth as a mother would be a wonderful thing. Even though Iris would not be able to be the official auntie of this child, she would make an effort to meet him or her.
Iris had been so stunned by it all, even as she left Elizabeth’s home, that she had not managed to say much to Ewan as he came to meet her for the return journey home. To try and play things off, she suggested that her sister had taken the news of her father's illness too hard and that things were not so serious after all. He still said it was fine for her to remain with her family if she wanted to be, but all Iris wanted to do now was be back home in the Oakley household where she felt more comfortable. Seeing Elizabeth was one thing, but her husband would be home eventually and she did not want to see him.
Now that she'd seen her sister and Elizabeth had taken the news well, Iris wanted to be back with Amy. Especially as she would soon hear how Daisy was doing, and hopefully how Olivia took the news as well. Once the most important people in her life knew about what she was up to, Iris could finally relax into her new life. She could enjoy herself as Amy’s handmaiden fully, which was all she ever wanted.
Finally, everything was coming together.
Well, there was one more person that she wanted to tell about her true identity, but that might be one step too far.
Iris rolled her head to one side while she tried to plan what she wanted to do about Ewan. She would love nothing more now than to just confess, but she was even less sure about how he would react to the information. He has seemingly only just come around to the idea that she was lower born than him. This could be way too much for him. To learn that she was a lady with a deep, dark secret would be too much for anyone to handle.
‘I am not the person you think I am...’
No, she wasn’t sure she would like it if he said the same to her, so it was unlikely that he’d be alright with it. Keeping secrets was not a good thing, it was the only thing that made her regret the switch.
Oh, it was so confusing! She was not sure what to do for the best. If she kept the truth inside and she turned her back on true love for everyone else’s sake, she would be using her head, but she might not find that happiness again. However, if she went for it and dived in head first, it would cause a lot of issues. Other people would have to suffer for her life choices. She could even end up losing everything if Ewan decided he did not want to know the true her... but then at least she wouldn’t have to always wonder ‘what if?’
There were so many outcomes, none of them particularly positive, which was hard for Iris to digest. It seemed there was not much chance of her ever finding the ‘happy ever after’ that she had spent so much of her life searching for.
Maybe it was time to push that to one side for now. It was not a decision that had to be made right at this very second. She could take some time to really work things out before diving in head first. There were no time restraints this time around. Not that she knew of anyway.
* * *
Things were more subdued this time around as Ewan and Iris stopped off for meals, she did not seem like herself at all which had to be related to her family troubles. He was not sure why she hadn’t stayed behind with her sister, but of course, it was her choice to make.
Because of that, Ewan told the drivers to keep on going through the night. He did not want to force her to sleep in another guest house when it seemed that all she really needed was a night in her own bed. They travelled continually until they reached the house again. It was the middle of the day when they arrived back at the Oakley mansion, but he sent Daisy to bed anyway.
She needed her sleep and he had something of his own that he needed to do.
"Mr. Shipman,” he grabbed the attention of the butler moments after he got inside. "Can you please send Amy to my office as soon as she has time? Do not interrupt her lessons, but once she is free let her know that I am back and I wish to speak to her."
“Of course, Sir.”
His butler bowed to him as he spoke. It was something that Ewan had never paid much attention to before, but now he did not like it so much. It made him feel uncomfortable. Who was to say that he was better than Mr. Shipman, just because he had more money? It was insane.
But what could Ewan do about it? Nothing, for the moment. He had other tasks that needed
dealing with right now. Things that needed his direct attention.
“Thank you, Mr. Shipman. I appreciate it very much.” Gratitude was a good place to start.
Once Ewan was inside his office, he paced up and down the room. Of course, he had stacks of paperwork that he needed to get on with, but his mind was all over the place. He could not focus on anything while he had so much to go over. Whatever he did next would affect absolutely everything, so he needed to do it right.
His heart raced in his chest, it felt like it was fluttering all over his body. Just thinking about Daisy made him feel this way. During the time when he had considered getting married before, he had met many women, but none of them had interested him. They were beautiful and glamorous, but they did not inspire him. Daisy had that sweet, stunning look and she also had a wonderful brain inside her head. She saw things from a unique perspective which made him want to look at things differently, too.
She did not seem like she was lowborn, she had a very educated view of the world, which he enjoyed, but it was so much more than that. He felt like he could talk to her for hours, which was wonderful for someone who had spent his life so closed off, and he could also listen to her talk forever, too. Everything she said inspired him.
He loved her. It was pure and simple. He wanted her to be his. He knew it that night at the ball when he first met her in the hallway. He could sense something special about her even then, but he hadn't wanted to admit it to himself. He did not want to see the truth even though it was right there in front of him. But now, none of that mattered. All he cared about what was in his heart.
Society would not like it, of course, it would affect his reputation terribly, which of course was why he needed to speak to Amy. But he had never felt a love like this... that was worth a million terrible looks and gossipy whispers. To have Daisy in his arms would be better than any positive reputation could ever be.
If only he had seen that before.
“Ewan!” Amy exclaimed gleefully as she raced into his office. “You are back much quicker than I thought you would be. How did your business go? Is Daisy with you?”
Of course, that was what she cared about more than anything. Ewan was not upset by this if anything it was a good thing.
“Daisy is back; she is currently resting. The journey has tired her out, but she will be back to work tomorrow.”
“Oh good.” Amy gave Ewan one of those genuine smiles that had only really appeared when Daisy started working for them. “I have missed her. I was scared she might not come back.”
“Why not?” Ewan was shocked by this statement It seemed to come from nowhere.
“Because they do not always return.” Amy shrugged as if this was normal. “But Daisy is the only one that I really wanted to.”
Ewan’s heart warmed. He felt guilty for not realising just how deeply Amy was suffering from abandonment issues, but it was wonderful that Daisy had rectified that. And she would be around for a whole lot longer if she became his wife.
“Actually, I do wish to speak to you about Daisy,” he started innocently enough. “If you have some time.”
“You cannot fire her,” Amy replied warningly. “I will not have it. I know I do not have much say around here, but she is my handmaiden...”
“I do not intend to fire her,” Ewan chuckled. “Will you just give me a chance to explain what I am trying to say to you?”
“Yes, I am sorry.” Amy sat down in the nearest chair. “Please, go ahead.”
“As you know, I have spent some time with Daisy while on the road to the city.” Ewan suddenly realized that his breaths were coming out sharp and ragged. He hadn’t noticed how truly nervous he was about this. “And I have gotten to know her better.”
“She is wonderful, I love her.”
“Yes. I do too...”
Ewan waited for Amy to process those words. For a few moments, she simply continued to stare at him as if she had no idea what was going on. Then the cogs in her brains spun faster and she finally clicked.
“You... you love her?” Amy leapt up as if she was ready for action, but she did not quite know where she was going. “You are in love with Daisy? Are you going to marry her? Oh, please marry her. I would love her to be your wife. She is so much better than those boring women you were going to marry at one point.”
Ewan smiled as he recalled Amy and her sulky tantrums when he suggested getting wed a while back. “Yes, I remember you were not happy, but I cannot simply make the decision to marry Daisy.”
“Why not?” Amy practically raged. “What is wrong with her? You love her, do you not?” Suddenly a horrifying thought struck icy cold fear into her heart. “Does she not love you too?”
“Oh well, I do not know about that. I have not asked her. I... I think so.”
“So what is the problem? You two would be wonderful together.”
“Because she is lowborn. It would cause drama in society, and it might cause you issues, too. It may make the eligible bachelors who are willing to wed you less.”
“As if I care about that,” Amy scoffed. “I want to marry a nice man, not someone who cares about such things.”
“I do not think you fully understand what you are saying...” Ewan needed Amy to fully comprehend before he could make any sort of decision.
“Oh, I understand fully.” Amy folded her arms across her chest and she gave her brother a stern look. “I know that I do not want my husband to be a cold-hearted man who is concerned with society opinion. I am not bothered about picking the man who can offer me the most. I want what you and Daisy have. I want true love.”
“Even if it means giving up everything.”
“It is worth it, is it not?” Amy raised her eyebrows knowingly. “I enjoy my life, I am grateful to everything that you have done for me, but I would like to lead a much less lonely existence when I get married. If a man cannot handle that my brother has chosen to marry for love, then so be it.”
Ewan was stunned. At some point, his sister had grown into a woman before his very eyes. She had wisdom that he could only dream of and a positive attitude that was admirable. Daisy had drawn that out of her.
“So, what do you say, big brother? Will you be brave and marry the woman you love, or will you do what is expected of you?”
Ewan remained silent for a few moments while his head and heart battled it out. This was the blessing that he had been hoping for, but still, he wanted to do things in a way that was right. He wanted to be certain before he made any decisions.
“I think it is time for you to get back to work, do you not think? Your governess will be waiting for you.”
"Oh, that is so typical of you, blowing me off without giving me a real answer. I am old enough for you to tell me things now, you understand that? I have grown up!”
“I do.” Ewan smiled. “But I am still making decisions right now. As soon as I know what I intend to do, I will let you know.”
“I do not see what you could possibly have to think about, but that is fine.” Amy flounced towards the exit of the room. “I will see you soon, Ewan. It is good to have you back.”
Once he was alone, Ewan took his seat at his desk and he glanced over his paperwork trying to get his head in the game. His new ship needed some attention, and he wanted to give it what it desired. Yet he found that impossible...
Instead of reading through all the information, he pulled out a world map and he studied the countries that he had not seen. He imagined jumping aboard and taking Daisy with him to see all the countries that she desired to look at so greatly. He was in the lucky position to be able to do that, should he so desire. It would not be simple, he still had a lot of responsibilities to take care of, but for him it was possible.
If Daisy were his wife, then it would be possible for her, too. Ewan did not think that she would allow fear to hold her back. Although he had not learned much about her life so far, Daisy would be the sort of woman who wore bravery like armour.
Maybe th
at was exactly what made her perfect for him.
Ewan realized that he had unintentionally told his sister a lie. When he spoke those words, he truly did mean them, but now he knew that it was Daisy he must speak to first. He needed to know exactly how she felt about the idea of getting married so it was no longer just speculation.
Then he could make some real plans.
It would not happen today, but as soon as he saw Daisy again, he would see if she wanted him to take her hand. Then he would be able to think of the tides and the way his life might go. He just hoped that it would be as exciting as he planned.
Chapter 29
Due to her very long sleep, Iris woke up much earlier than she normally would. It was still dark as she rose from her bed, but there was no longer a scrap of weariness left within her. She could not lie down for even a second longer.
She knew that she probably shouldn’t, but she also could not resist. Iris used the quiet time alone to wander through the Oakley household, to remind her of what home felt like these days. She had not been gone long at all, but so much had happened that it felt like a lifetime.
Elizabeth was having a baby, Iris herself had fallen in love with Lord Oakley, and she felt like he might love her back. Years of activity had blurred past Iris in a moment. Or maybe it just felt like that because so much of her life had been nothing.
Iris wandered through the large building, smiling happily to herself. There was a strong sense of calm and contentment in her chest that left her knowing this was exactly how things were supposed to have gone. The crazy plan had worked better than she ever could have hoped.
Her fingers brushed over the walls, she trod carefully onto the carpets, Iris inhaled deeply to let everything inside of her. It wasn’t ever where she expected to end up, but she did not ever want to leave again.
Hopefully, now, she would never have to.
The Duke of My Heart (Regency Romance) Page 22