by Evan Winter
Tests, he thought, always tests. So much of Chosen culture revolved around fighting and tests. Tau thrust at an imaginary enemy, and blocked an illusory blow from another. "Was last night a test?" he asked out loud. "Did I pass? Did the woman I slew fail hers?"
"You killed a woman?"
Tau swung round, sword in hand. "Cek!" he cursed. It was Zuri. "Zuri? I-I didn't..." He bowed his head. "Apologies."
"No, I shouldn't have startled you," she said, her arched eyebrow letting Tau know that, startled or not, she had not expected to hear such language. "I was watching you train. You're good."
"You're kind." Tau sheathed his sword. He wanted to add that she was beautiful. He didn't have the courage. "I'm not that good," he said instead. "I just have the benefit of my father's training. Jabari is better." What in the Cull made him say that? "I mean—"
Zuri raised a hand above her head, as if measuring a tall person. "He's Noble," she said. "Did you really kill someone?"
Tau went cold. "It was one of the hedeni." He didn't want to say more, but did. "She was with two others. They tried to hurt a woman and child."
"I'm prying—"
"It's fine. I just..." Tau's voice broke and he struggled to even out his emotions. "I killed her."
"She was trying to hurt a woman and child?"
Tau nodded.
"You did what was needed, to defend Chosen lives."
"It doesn't feel like it."
"You could have let her kill a woman and child. Would their deaths be a fair price for a clear conscience?"
"You came to argue?"
She looked hurt. "Is that what we're doing?"
The dead woman's face flashed in his mind.
Zuri shook her head, as if to clear it. "I came to see you." She lifted her chin and took a deep breath. "I came to..." She gave him a nervous smile, the edges of her mouth fluttering. "I came to..."
"What?" asked Tau, confused.
"Ah..." she was steeling herself for something, then seemed to lose her nerve. "I'm surprised Aren didn't whip the skin from your back," she said.
She'd been about to say something else, and then she'd teased him. Tau wasn't in the mood. "Jabari asked me to accompany him."
The smile slipped from her face. He'd been too terse. He was an idiot.
"I saw Jelani," she said. "She told me she saw you yesterday, before the battle. You were the one who went to Jabari."
Tau grimaced. "Jelani's mouth has always been too large for her face," he said.
"Tau, Jabari is many things. He's bold, handsome, tall—"
"Is he?" said Tau with more frustration than intended.
"—but he's not impulsive. That characteristic, I'd lay at someone else's door."
"What do you want me to say?"
"I don't want you to say anything. I came to... I wanted to see you." Zuri had that strange look on her face again. "I wanted to make sure you were well. I needed to know that."
"I am."
She stepped closer, within arms reach. She raised a hand and, hesitating, laid it on his chest. "Would you tell me, if you weren't?"
Tau felt the day grow hotter, his scalp beading with sweat. She's being friendly, he told himself. She's worried about a longtime friend. He looked down at her hand and back to her face. She was so close. He could almost— "The battle, w-we... I thought we had no hope," Tau stammered.
"You fought. You kept us safe," Zuri said, stepping closer.
Tau could feel her chest against his. "They had us beat. The hedeni came with so many." He couldn't keep his mind on his words. Every time Zuri took a breath it was... distracting. "They were about to overrun us, when the Citadels arrived, with Guardians."
Zuri's eyes widened. "Guardians? You saw Dragons?"
Dragons. That was something he could talk about. "I've never seen them up close before."
"I've never seen one at all," Zuri said.
"They're enormous. Black as shadows. I felt their fire. It's...well, it's indescribable. And, the Gifted that was controlling it—"
"An Entreater."
"What?"
"Entreating. Gifted don't control the Guardians, they call to them. How did she do it?"
"Eh... she lifted her arms and waved them around," Tau said.
"She waved her arms around?" Zuri pursed her lips at him.
"I'm telling the truth."
"I believe you."
"No, you're teasing me again," Tau said, trying not to stare at her mouth.
"Never," Zuri said, full lips curving into a bright smile, eyes sparkling.
"You are."
"Well, it sounds funny to think of a Gifted calling and guiding Guardians by waving her arms around."
"It doesn't look like the way you're saying it. It... you can feel their power."
"Go on," said Zuri, still close.
"There were other Gifted, like the one with the Ingonyama, an Enrager. The hedeni captured her when they—"
"What?" Zuri's smile vanished.
"Yes. They killed the Ingonyama and took her."
"Goddess!" Zuri stepped back.
Tau felt a fool. Why had he told her that? Did he want to describe the way the dead had looked too? "I shouldn't have said anything."
"It's me," Zuri said. "I'm asking about it like a child, imagining it's all honor and glory, brave warriors and wondrous Gifted. It isn't, is it?"
"No," said Tau. "It isn't."
"No," Zuri echoed, lowering her eyes.
Silence, and Tau had no clue how to fill it.
Zuri did it for him. "Tau, I came here for a reason. When I heard you went to Daba. I was so worried I... Tau, we don't have long before you leave for Ihashe training and I won't look back with regrets. I'd rather live with a thing done poorly than do nothing and always wonder how things could have been."
She'd lost him. He should have told her she was beautiful when he had the chance.
"Tau?"
"Yes?"
Zuri stepped in and kissed him. His entire body tensed with the shock of it. Her lips, pressing softly on his mouth, became insistent. His pulse pounded in his ears, his scalp tingled.
He didn't know what to do with his mouth, or hands, and it felt like a warm fire lanced across his skin in the places where their bodies touched. Tau put his arms around her, holding her. He wanted the moment to last forever. He wanted to die like this, with her in his— she ended the kiss.
He opened his eyes, surprised to see the sun still shone. For a few precious breaths, nothing but Zuri had existed.
"We should stop," she said, her voice deeper than usual. "We don't want to go too far."
Tau's mind felt stuffed with grass. "Zuri..." he said, astonished at how needy he sounded. He was close to begging and wasn't sure what for.
Her eyes danced. "I did it," she said. "I wasn't sure I'd have the courage." Her smile was the sun at the dawn. "I'll see you soon, Tau Tafari."
She slipped out of reach and walked away. Tau watched her go, the most perfect being that had ever existed.
"We have the rest of Grow and Harvest before the testing," she called to him, before disappearing below the rise of the mountainside.
Tau stood there, trying to understand some part of what had happened. He couldn't make sense of it but, somehow, his life had become better.
PATHS
The next morning, Tau woke before dawn. He was still sore from the battle, but he'd had no bad dreams, and his head was filled with thoughts of Zuri. Aren, eating a cold breakfast of lentils and potatoes, watched Tau.
"I'm well," Tau said.
"Didn't say anything."
"Were about to," Tau countered.
"Maybe," Aren said. "You'll never know."
Aren got up, buckled on his sword, and went outside to relieve himself. Tau heard voices and his father called out.
"Tau," he said.
"Coming." Tau pulled on his worn boots and went outside. Jabari was there.
"Well met, Tau."
"Well met, Nkosi."
"I'm for Daba. It's just me. Lekan won't come."
"We'll do the work of three," Tau said, glad for Lekan's absence. He went inside and prepared a package of lentils and potatoes. "Ready," he told Jabari.
Aren watched them go. Tau could tell he approved. He'd always encouraged Tau to spend time with the Umbusi's second son and he'd like that they were helping Daba.
"It'll take most of a season to make Daba what it was" Jabari said as they walked. "I'll go up for the first few days, but then it'll have to be training all morning and afternoon."
"The testing."
"It'll be here before we know it and father is relying on me." Jabari kicked at the dirt. "It still shames him that he failed his."
"Your father has done well by Kerem. Anyway, he's an Umbusi's husband. That makes him military."
"Honorary. He hasn't trained a day and I'm not sure he's even seen the Citadel. If anything, military status puts him in danger. He can be challenged to a blood-duel by any other military man, Noble or Lesser. The status is no compliment or benefit, Tau. It's the Palm insulting Noble men who don't fight but rise high enough to lead."
Jabari kicked a small rock into the air. "It didn't help when Lekan was rejected either. Now, I'm the family's last hope and mother says Kerem can't afford failure. If the Onai family doesn't field a Citadel fighter, the fief will face higher tithes. Tithes we can't afford."
Jabari pulled out a hands' span of dried meat from his pack, and Tau's mouth watered. He tried not to stare. "You'll make the Citadel," Tau said.
Jabari broke off some of the meat, offering it to Tau. "From your lips..."
"Thank you, Nkosi" Tau said, accepting the food.
"Don't call me that."
Tau had trouble listening. He was focused on the meat. It had been a long while since he'd tasted some. He'd have to take it slow or his stomach would toss like ocean driftwood. He took his first bite and the taste was the Goddess' own gift.
Jabari took a bite of his half, speaking as he chewed. "It should be fine. I've trained hard. We both have. You'll make the Ihashe for sure."
Tau swallowed, trying not to sigh with pleasure. Root and soft vegetables had their place, but meat was something else. "Beg pardon?" he asked.
"You'll make the Ihashe."
Tau refused to let the words spoil his next bite. He didn't want to think about the testing or the Ihashe. He munched, savored, and considered what to tell Jabari.
His experience in Daba had revealed that he didn't have the heart for violence. Tau liked swordsmanship and was good, for a Lesser. That wasn't the problem. The problem was what the training was for. Tau had had enough killing for one lifetime.
Also, there was Zuri to think about. Getting into the Ihashe would mean one cycle of training at their Isikolo, followed by six cycles of service. That was a long time to be away.
"If you're lucky, you'll be in Jayyed Ayim's Scale."
Jabari hadn't stopped talking. Tau nodded, distracted by the meat and his own thoughts. He was wondering if he could abandon his dreams.
In his boyhood fantasies, he made the Isikolo and outperformed everyone there, becoming a name among Lessers, and leading a Scale of Ihashe to the annual Queen's Melee.
It didn't matter that Lessers hadn't qualified for the Melee in a generation. In his fantasy, Tau and the men he led were good enough to do it. They even beat some of the Indlovu.
"Can you believe it?" Jabari chattered. "Jayyed thrown off the Guardian Council and sent to the Southern Isikolo as an Umqondisi? He was easily the best advisor the Guardian Council ever had. My father says Jayyed is a better tactician and swordsman than many of the Royal-Nobles."
"Royal-Nobles don't fight with their swords," Tau recited. "They do more for the Chosen as leaders, the minds behind our power." Tau wasn't sure it was true, but it was what he should say.
"Of course, of course." Jabari said. "Still, whenever father mentions Jayyed, and Lekan is around, I goad him on." Jabari grinned. "Lekan hates it, the brilliant Low-Common who sits at the same table with Queen, Champion, and Royals."
Tau grunted.
"Tau, it's a scandal," Jabari said. "Days after we have a new Queen, Jayyed is relieved of his position as an advisor to the council! A post he's held for a dozen cycles under Queen Ayanna." They were in the high parts of the mountain. No one was around for several thousand strides, but Jabari lowered his voice. "It's said Jayyed was spreading defeatist talk. Madness!"
"Madness," repeated Tau.
The low energy response wasn't enough for Jabari. "Madness? It's not a strong enough word is it? Insanity! Hysteria! Derangement!"
Tau squinted and pursed his lips, making a face he hoped Jabari would take as attentive, as he mused on how admittance to the Ihashe would affect his life. After serving, he could come back to Kerem with the pension to raise a family. He could afford boots that wouldn't rot out from under him.
Jabari's rumor-mongering rolled on. "Jayyed was raised so high. He was one of just four Lessers on the Guardian Council. He's Low-Common and the other three Lessers are all High-Governor Caste. I mean, Jayyed had the military rank to overrule most Nobles. Imagine!"
It was the smoothest path, thought Tau. He could fight his way into the Ihashe Isikolo, graduate, serve, and then seek Zuri's hand. They could live a good life. All he had to do was fight and kill for seven cycles.
"Well," Jabari said, "what's done is done. Jayyed is off the Council and back to teaching at the Isikolo." Jabari looked at Tau. "If you're lucky, you'll be trained by the great man himself."
Tau tried to picture who he'd become if he trained for a cycle then served for six. He would be sent here and there. He'd fight off hedeni raids. He'd be part of campaigns that took him all the way to the front lines of the war, at the edge of the Curse itself.
He imagined what would change for Zuri in that time. Could he expect her to wait for him? Or, would he come back to find her married? Maybe he'd die in the Curse, carrion for scorpions.
"You're not worried you won't get in?" Jabari asked.
Tau considered the question. "No, not worried," he said, and he wasn't. He had just made a decision. He'd help Jabari make it into the Citadel. Then, Tau could tell his father he wasn't going to test. It would hurt Aren, but Tau was no killer and had to live his own life, make his own choices. That's what men did.
He'd be made a Drudge and life would be difficult, but Tau would bear it. He wasn't afraid of a difficult life, but he was afraid of losing Zuri. He hoped she'd still be interested. He'd tell her he didn't want to be a killer, couldn't be one. She'd understand. He had to believe that.
And, if she did understand, he'd ask her to marry him. He wouldn't lose her to seven cycles, another man, or to his own death. True, they'd never have much, but they'd have each other.
Tau inhaled, drawing mountain air into his lungs and feeling lighter than he had in days. "Race you to Daba," he shouted as he took off running.
Jabari's barking laugh and thunderous footsteps were all Tau needed to hear to know the Petty-Noble was in pursuit.
SONS
Tau and Jabari returned to Kerem that evening, exhausted but satisfied. The Lessers in Daba had lost much, but refused to surrender to despair. The hamlet would survive.
As they approached Tau's hut, Tau noticed light from the fire-pit. Aren never lit it at night. Tau ran the rest of the way. They found a bleary-eyed Zuri inside the home.
"Tau!" Zuri said.
"My father—"
"Aren is well," Zuri said. "It's not him. It's Anya."
"What's this?" said Jabari, squeezing his way into the hut.
Zuri struggled to find the words. "Nkosi Jabari, Nkiru has been accused of attacking a Noble."
"He what? Who?" Jabari said, his voice booming in the small space.
"Nkiru laid hands on Nkosi Lekan and—"
"Why in the Goddess..." Jabari's face went slack. "Oh..."
"Nkiru found Lekan forcing... he found Nk
osi Lekan with his daughter, Anya."
"Nceku," Jabari swore. "Cek!"
Zuri winced. "Your brother wishes for the laws to be upheld, but Aren... Inkokeli Solarin refused."
Tau slumped against the nearest wall. There was no way Aren would order, or allow, the killing of Nkiru and his family.
Jabari paced, or tried to in the tiny home. "Lekan, that half-witted fool." He stepped outside. "Let's go. This has to get sorted, before it gets worse."
They sped down the mountain. It was late but half of Kerem was abroad. The closer they got to the Keep, the thicker the crowd.
Lekan, along with his family's guard, stood in the centre gateway to the Keep. The guards held peat moss torches that brought light to the dark evening, illuminating the guard's faces, and their worry. Ochieng was one of the guards and, like the others, he looked forlorn. They faced a crowd that was two wrong words from becoming a mob.
Standing opposite Lekan was Tau's father. He was with Nkiru and several Ihagu.
"Give him to me, Aren," said Lekan. "Do not make me say it again."
"Nkosi Lekan, I only ask that we take time to discuss this with the Umbusi," Aren said.
"My mother is resting and this is not a matter that needs her attention," Lekan said. "You have my orders. Carry them out!"
Tau, along with Zuri and Jabari, pushed their way through the crowd. Tau was watching Lekan the whole time.
Lekan was taller than Jabari and heavier, though not from muscle. The Umbusi's eldest son was known for his appetite and, in a land where food was rationed, it sat ill with many that he could grow so large. The Petty-Noble also enjoyed his drink and it was said, behind hands, he drank more olu than water.
"Nkosi Lekan," Aren said. "I believe we can solve this without death and I invite your counsel, in addition to Umbusi Onai's."
"In addition? Damn you, Lesser! Send over the man!"
Nkiru looked miserable. Anya was beside him. She was a wreck. Her eyes were bloodshot and she had bruises on her arms, visible even in the dim torch light. Her dress was torn. Zuri went to her.