“Who’s this?” he asked. His voice was rough, like sandpaper.
Lex stepped out from around Dr. Grey and faced his father.
“Alexander.”
Lex didn’t answer, just stood, unmoving, staring at the frail man who vaguely resembled the bully he had grown up with until he was twelve years old.
“For a second I thought you were your brother,” the old man said.
The doctor clapped Lex on the shoulder. He pulled a chair away from the wall and gestured for him to sit. He did, not taking his eyes off his father.
“I’ll give you a minute,” Dr. Grey said.
Lex’s father looked at him. “It’s been a long time, son.”
“Don’t call me that...” Lex whispered, his voice coming out in a breath.
“You are my son, Lex, no matter what you think; no matter what lies your brother has been feeding you with.”
Lex ignored him. “Why didn’t you have them call us?”
Frank Mitchell coughed, wiping his mouth on a piece of tissue he held crumpled in his boney hand. It came away with small drops of blood that he tried to hide.
“I didn’t think you’d want to see me. I didn’t think you’d come if I had them call.”
“You selfish son of a bitch.” The voice came from behind Lex and he whipped around, staring at Cash as he walked into the room.
Lex stood up and put himself between them.
“How does it feel, old man?” Cash said, furiously, gritting his teeth and spitting the words, “How does it feel to know that you can’t do anything to stop me? Let go of me, Lex!” Lex grabbed him as he tried to get closer to their father. “How does it feel?” Cash shouted. “How does it feel to know that I’m standing here strong, and you’re laying there weak?”
“It’s okay to be angry, son.”
“I’m not your son!” Cash snarled. Lex wrestled with him, holding him back, as he clawed at him to break his hold.
“Look at him! Cash, look at him!” Lex shouted. “He’s an old man! It wouldn’t be right!” Cash calmed. “It wouldn’t be right,” he repeated, lowering his voice. He leant towards his brother so that only Cash could hear the words. “Don’t be like him. Don’t let him get to you. That’s what he wants.”
Cash dropped his arms and Lex relaxed his hold. He stared into his brother’s eyes, not breaking the gaze as their father spoke from behind him.
“It’s okay to be angry, son,” Frank repeated.
Cash’s grip tightened on his arms again and Lex braced himself.
“He’s doing it on purpose,” Lex said quietly to Cash. “He’s trying to prove you’re like him. Don’t let him.”
Lex sat in the chair beside the bed and Cash stood beside him.
“Have a seat, son,” Frank said to him.
“I’ll stand,” Cash said.
Frank eyed him.
“What?” Cash said.
Lex watched the strange expression on Frank’s face. “You’re afraid of him,” he guessed, “You didn’t have the hospital call us because you were afraid of what Cash would do if he found out you were this close.”
“I wouldn’t put it past him to pull my plug.” Frank’s voice was like gravel.
“But see, we’re not like you,” Lex said, “Family should be everything.”
Cash’s hand tightened on Lex’s shoulder.
“Your mother and I made some mistakes...”
“You’re damn right you did. You forced your sons to leave home as children because you didn’t give a shit. You forced Cash to become a father to me because you couldn’t step up and do it yourself!”
“You’re right...”
“What did you say?” Lex stopped.
“I said, you’re right. I did do all of those things.”
Lex sat back in the chair and crossed his legs. “This might be your last chance to tell us why.”
Frank shook his head. “It’s not that simple...It’s not my fault. If your mother was here...”
“Yeah but she’s not!” Lex sat up, his voice raised. “She’s not here, is she? Because you wanted alcohol! You wanted alcohol so bad that she couldn’t afford her medication! You let her die just to get drunk another night and come down the next day and remember everything you did. Do you remember the night she died? Do you remember how she took herself to the hospital while you were out getting drugs? She called us! She called us, because she knew it would be the last chance she would have to apologize to us for everything that happened! Because of you! You kept her away from us! You stopped her from seeing us! We had money! We could have saved her! We could have gotten her the help she needed, but you were selfish and stupid and you didn’t want to admit you’d been wrong. It was your fault that she died. I will never forgive you for that. Not for as long as I live...You are not my father anymore. You probably never were.”
Lex stood up, pushing the chair away. Cash grabbed his arm as he went past him.
“Give me a second,” he said, quietly.
Lex nodded, leaving the room as quickly as he could, letting the tears fall down his cheeks. He leaned against the wall a few doors down and put his head in his hands. He couldn’t believe what he had just said. He didn’t think he had it in him but it felt so good to tell off the man who had haunted him since he was a young boy. It was his brother who he owed everything to. The man in the bed was a stranger.
Cash appeared from the room with a solemn look on his face. Lex straightened up.
“What happened?” he said.
Cash looked down the hallway and leaned closer to him. “He pulled the breathing tube out of his nose...”
Lex felt like his heart stopped beating. “Oh my God, because of me, because of what I said to him.” He slid to the floor, covering his face and feeling a new wave of tears building.
“No, no, don’t think that.”
Cash squatted in front of him and pulled Lex’s arms away from his face. Lex looked up at him, feeling like a child. He had a flashback to a time when this was normal. He was upset and Cash was consoling him, like a big brother should.
He pulled Lex’s chin up. “Listen to me, Lex. It’s not your fault. Before he did it...he said...”
“What?” Lex said, “What did he say?”
“He said he wasn’t sorry for anything that he’d done.”
Lex’s mouth opened as a rush of air left his lungs. He couldn’t believe it.
“It’s not your fault,” Cash repeated.
He reached down and hugged his brother. Lex wrapped his arms around Cash’s chest and let a few more tears escape from his eyes. At that moment, he didn’t even care if it was the truth or not. It was what he needed to hear. Suddenly doctors and nurses ran down the hallway and into their father’s room.
They watched them silently, knowing it was too late.
After a few moments, Dr. Grey came out and spotted the boys sitting against the wall. He shook his head.
Frank Mitchell was dead.
Chapter 4
Violet was still sleeping. Lex sat by her bedside and held her hand. It wasn’t a romantic gesture; the physical touch was to remind him to think about the more important things; to focus on life, rather than death. He placed his hand on her stomach, unable to stop himself but careful not to wake her. The room was illuminated only by the soft glow of the moon coming through the window on the other side of the bed.
Lex couldn’t feel anything move against his hand but somehow he knew who was in there, waiting to meet him.
A quiet knock on the door made him turn around. Dr. Grey stood in the doorway.
“She’s sleeping,” Lex murmured in the silent room, knowing the doctor would hear him.
“It’s you I’d like to speak to.”
Lex followed him into the hallway.
“What do you need?”
“Mr. Mitchell...it’s a rather delicate matter...”
“More delicate than what happened a couple of hours ago? I think I can handle it.”
/> Dr. Grey tipped his head to one side. “Mr. Mitchell...”
“Please call me Lex.”
He nodded. “Lex. Your father...”
Lex shook his head. “Please. That man was no father to me.”
“My apologies. Frank Mitchell was admitted because his kidneys had failed due to Polycystic Kidney Disease.”
“I know. You already told me this.”
“PCKD is genetic.”
Lex froze. “What? So you think I could have it?”
Dr. Grey held up his hand. “We aren’t saying that. You’ve had regular physicals, and there’s nothing in your file about abnormalities in your kidneys. But that doesn’t mean you aren’t a carrier. You might not have it, Lex, but your baby...”
“Might,” Lex finished for him.
The doctor nodded.
“So what can we do? How do we find out?”
“There are some tests we can do to find out if you’re a carrier. We can do them right away if you want.”
Lex nodded firmly.
“Your brother wanted tests done, also, in case he decides to have children. He’s already downstairs. Please follow me.”
He went with the doctor to a small room on the lower level. Dr. Grey turned around as they entered, gesturing for Lex to sit on the noisy paper on the bed.
“First we will do a blood and urine test, then perhaps an abdominal ultrasound if anything unusual arises.”
“Okay.”
“A nurse will collect your blood in a few moments. For now just relax.”
Lex tried to calm his breathing.
The food in front of her didn’t look appetizing. April pushed the plate of chicken away and wiped her hands on her napkin. Her phone rang.
“Hello?”
“April...it’s me.”
April smiled at just the sound of his voice. “Lex, what’s going on? How is Violet? And the baby?”
“All fine. They’re fine. We think.”
“What do you mean?”
“Well...my father was here, too.”
April almost dropped the phone. She knew about the dysfunctional relationship Lex had with his father.
“Why was he there? How did he know about Violet’s accident?”
“He was admitted as a patient. His kidneys failed. He had Polycystic Kidney Disease. April, he died while Cash and I were there.”
April could hear the pain in Lex’s voice. “Tell me from the beginning. What happened?”
“I told him what I thought of him...and then he killed himself. He killed himself, April...”
April’s eyes welled with tears for Lex. He now had no living parents. “Lex, it’s not your fault. Your father was a sick man.”
She could hear Lex’s breath shaking at the other end of the line.
“I know...” he finally whispered. “Before he died he told Cash he wasn’t sorry for anything he had done.”
“You see? He wasn’t a nice man, Lex.” April put her head in her hands. She wanted nothing more than to be with Lex in that moment.
“Do you want me to...come to the hospital?” she said.
She heard Lex sigh. “I do, but it’s not a good idea. I’ll come see you tonight when I’m done here.”
“What are you doing now?”
“Right now I am sitting on a bed waiting for a nurse to come and take my blood. Poly-Cystic Kidney Disease is genetic. They want to see if I have it. Or if I might have passed it to the baby.”
April was quiet. “Everything will be okay,” she finally said. “Even if the worst happens, it’s a treatable disease if you catch it early, right?”
“Yeah, I guess so.” Someone made noise in the background. “I gotta go.”
“Bye,” April murmured, wishing she could be with him.
She got up from the table and put her full plate of food in the refrigerator. She grabbed a tumbler off the shelf and poured herself a small glass of whiskey.
The taste of the alcohol burned her throat as she swallowed and she welcomed the sensation. Sitting down on the couch she curled her legs underneath her and grabbed her phone, mindlessly swiping through the contacts until she came to one name; Kip.
She pushed the call button with her lips pressed together. In that moment all she needed was to hear his voice.
It rang three times, then the answering machine kicked in.
“Hey, you’ve reached Kip. I’m away from the phone, so leave a message. Thanks.”
The beep sounded.
April heaved a sigh. She spoke slowly, testing each word as it rolled off her tongue. “Kip...it’s, um, me. April. I was really hoping to catch you to...to apologize...for everything. I know I shouldn’t have left but you don’t understand...I don’t even understand...I guess. I just wanted to tell you that, and I hope that you forgive me one day...” Tears began to roll down April’s cheeks as she spoke. “Because I don’t know what I’ll do if you don’t. I need you.”
Breathing in and feeling her shoulders rise, she put her head in her hands and closed her eyes. “Bye,” she said, hanging up the phone and tossing it onto the couch beside her.
April had no idea what she would do if Kip didn't forgive her. He was her best friend. He had been her safe place for five years; that kind of bond was precious. She felt like she could tell him anything, and that he would understand, and love her in spite of anything. Now, she felt utterly and devastatingly alone. And she didn't know what to do.
Lex sat in a daze. The nurse had come and gone with the samples, and he was awaiting the news as to whether or not he was a carrier. Usually he would have had to wait for the results, but apparently the hospital had made an exception; being famous paid off in many different ways. He didn't know what he would do if the tests came back positive. Or what he would do if he had unwittingly passed it to his child. Deep down, Lex knew it wouldn’t be his fault; that he would have been born with the disease. But he couldn’t stop the intense feeling of guilt that lay heavy in the pit of his stomach.
Dr. Grey came through the door and he stood.
“Mr. Mitch...Lex,” he said.
“Thanks,” Lex murmured.
He carried a manila folder stuffed full of papers. He looked uncomfortable; not a good sign.
“Just give it to me straight, doc. Please, I can’t take any more waiting. I’ve been here for hours already.”
“Lex, you are not a carrier for Poly-Cystic Kidney Disease.”
Lex almost collapsed to the floor, his legs turning to jelly. Supporting himself on the bed frame, he gasped. “Thank God.”
He felt a weight lift off his shoulders. The ache in his chest that had been crushing him was suddenly gone, and the overwhelming headache had evaporated.
Dr. Grey gave a hint of a smile, just a small curling of his lips at the edges.
“Is Cash a carrier?”
The doctor gestured to the bed and Lex sat. Standing in front of him, he felt like the doctor was a teacher and Lex was being scolded for doing something that was against the rules. His elation at the negative test results dissolved as quickly as it had come when he noticed Dr. Grey’s expression.
“What’s going on? Is he?” Lex said, sternly.
The doctor looked at him. “No, your brother is not a carrier, either. It’s rare for neither kin to inherit the gene and we will definitely keep an eye out in the future for the disease to reappear down the line.”
Lex stood up.
“Lex, before you go…I wonder if I might ask you something. Were you aware that you had meningitis as a baby?”
Lex’s forehead crinkled. “Yeah, I remember Cash telling me that they thought I was gonna die at one point. But…what does that have to do with anything?”
“Lex, most people who have meningitis as a child…well, there are some lasting effects that can affect them in adulthood.”
“Like what?”
“Well…the main one is infertility.”
“But, I have a child. Violet is carrying my child.”
Lex nodded. “Yeah, yeah, no problem. Now? Then I’m okay to go?”
Dr. Grey smiled. “Yes, I will send a nurse to take you to the fertility wing right away. And then you are most certainly free to go.”
Lex let out his breath, relieved. Just a few more minutes, and then he could focus on Violet.
April had fallen asleep on the couch, the glass of whiskey, untouched except for one sip, on the coffee table, watered down from the melted ice. Her phone woke her up at 6:30 in the morning.
“Hello?” she groaned.
“April, it’s Damian. We need you to come in early today.”
“Early, like when?”
“Early, like now.”
She moaned, her sleepy voice croaky.
“What’s up?” she asked.
“I’ll fill you in when you get here. And...April...I just want to thank you for taking the fall with Campbell yesterday. You have no idea how much I appreciate it.”
April shuffled to the bathroom to brush her teeth. “I don’t know how much I helped, to be honest. He made it pretty clear he knew I was lying.”
“I spoke to him this morning and told him the truth, but just the fact that you would do that for me means a lot. Hell, it means everything. I owe you one.”
“Don’t worry about it.”
“Well if you count getting you up at 6:30 on a Saturday to come to work, I guess I owe you two.”
April laughed humorlessly. “I’ll be there as soon as I can.”
“I appreciate it.”
The barn smelled just like it did at 9:00 am, April’s usual start to her workday. The only difference was a slight 7:00 am crispness to the air, and the rising sun streaming in the open doors at the far end and through all the high windows, tinting the interior a rich orange.
Love and Lies (Sunshine & Shadow Book 4) Page 3