“Lets make a pact. Where ever we are or who ever we are with even if it is years from now, we will always find each other.”
Looking into her eyes, he couldn’t deny her this one wish. “I promise babe. We will always find each other.” Softly, rubbing my cheek with the back of his hand. Giving me such a light kiss on the lips I wasn’t sure it happened at all. He rolled off and turned and walked away not looking back.
Letting him walk out was the hardest thing I have ever done. I wanted so badly to run after him that it hurt. I couldn’t however. I had to let him go on with his life. He can get someone better I reasoned. He deserves more than me, thinking sadly to myself. I love him so much, if I ever lost him I know I would never get over it. Arguing with myself, no he has to move on and so do I. I thought sternly. He has to move on before he falls in love with me like I am with him. Not knowing that he was already deeply in love with her. Rolling over onto my side I couldn’t help but wonder if I just made the biggest mistake of my life by sending him out of it. Closing my eyes I didn’t want to go back to sleep. Every time I closed my eyes I could feel his hands scorching my skin. I wondered if Gavin was as sad as I was right now. Holding on to that thought I slowly drifted back to sleep.
Spending most of the day in my bedroom I didn’t really feel like talking to anyone. The whole house seemed to be dead today anyways, not that I minded much. I like the solitude. Worried about going back to school on Monday. I hadn’t made many friends and I was nervous about seeing Clay after our date. He hasn’t called and I wonder if that awkward moment towards the end turned him off of me. Worried that I would have no friends at all now. It was no secret how catty the other girls were to me and to tell you the truth I hardly cared. Having my father die put a lot of things into perspective for me. Such petty things no longer mattered. Especially, since I feel like my life is constantly walking a thin, tight rope and I feel like I’m constantly teetering on the edge. One little draft of wind and I’ll be sent tumbling right off. It’s a scary feeling of anxiety to have. The only security net I have was Gavin and I have managed to successfully push him away.
Before I knew it, Monday was upon me. I didn’t see Gavin at breakfast because he was already out doing chores. Dressed and ready to go I went outside to look for him. As I rounded the corner I was astonished to see Clay pulling up. Stopping next to me and stepping out he looked more like he was going to a hot dance club instead of school.
“Hey beautiful. I thought I would give you a ride to school.” Pulling me in for a hug. “You look gorgeous today.” Flashing that handsome smirk in my direction as he brushed the hair out of my eyes giving me a kiss on my forehead.
Gavin wasn’t prepared for the sight he beheld as he walked out of the barn doors. Clay giving Madison a kiss with his arms wrapped around her was the last thing he ever wanted to see. Feeling the anger and jealousy welling up inside of him, he knew he was helpless to do anything about it. They agreed to move on and he agreed he would not interfere. Damn it, that was before the connection they had yesterday laying in her bed together. Damn her for wanting to move on without me. Watching her from behind the door she ran back inside and came back out with her book bag hopping into his car. Seeing him slinging his arm around her as they drove off the thought of breaking every single bone in his body entered his mind, now dreading going to school.
Chapter Nine: A new love
On the ride to school Clay rambled on about this and that and I hardly heard a word he had said. The only thing on my mind was Gavin and how he must be feeling right now. I felt like I betrayed him. Thinking that this was a necessary step for us moving on.
“Madison, are you alright? You look like your a million miles away.” Putting his hand in mine.
“I’m sorry Clay. I’m still nervous about going to a new school.” Which was partially right.
“It’s okay beautiful. You got me.” Flashing a huge grin. “Everyone loves me here, and since your with me, they’ll love you to, or else…” Squeezing my hand he brought it up to his lips kissing it. “Besides, if you need any help with any of the school work, I make decent grades. I can help you. What kind of grades did you pull at your last school?”
“I did alright.”
“Alright?”
“Straight A’s” Thinking on no other way to say it.
Gaping at her. “Well, why did you let me ramble on like that if your pulling straight A’s? Hell, maybe I need to ask you to tutor me.”
Laughing I looked up at him. “Because, it was very sweet of you to offer and I didn’t want to ruin it.”
Smirking at me he looked forward towards the road. “You know Madison, you seem to be so full of surprises the more I get to know you, the more I want to know about you.” He said sweetly.
He really is cute. I thought to myself. With the tiny hint of dimples in his cheeks and his fair skin, he really was attractive. You would have to be blind to not think so. So, what’s wrong with me? I thought mad at myself. Answering my own question I knew that answer. It was my absolutely gorgeous Gavin whom which no one else held a candle to. Gavin was absolutely mouth watering in every possible way. Deciding to myself if I thought about Gavin one more time I was going to club myself over the head and put myself out of my own misery.
“I got to stop at the gas station real quick, want anything?”
“No, I’m fine.” I said as I stared out the window. Giving my hand a quick squeeze, he ran in to buy himself a soda. I noticed how everyone he passed had a smile and a hello for him. He was like a local celebrity, I thought to myself. Which wasn’t good for a girl that wanted to fly below the radar. Everyone wanting to know who he was with and me not wanting anyone to know about my life. Most especially strangers. Thinking bitterly about how it is none of their business.
Sliding back into the car we took off for school again. Pulling in to the school I couldn’t wait to scan the parking lot for Gavin’s truck. I didn’t know why, I hadn’t seen him yet today and I just needed one glimpse. Finally, spotting his truck in the distance I was flooded with disappointment when I didn’t see him. I knew however, I would see him soon enough in my afternoon classes. Climbing out of Clay’s car he quickly came around and grabbed my hand in a possessive manner as if staking his claim to me. It almost made me wonder if he was going to pee a circle around me next. Knowing that everyone was staring at this point, I really didn’t mind. Knowing the jealous stares from all the girls was just that. I knew being the followers they were that they wouldn’t do anything to upset Clay. Knowing at least if I’m with Clay they would leave me alone for the most part. I knew how girls could be all to well. They looked at Clay as their property, sooner or later I knew instinctively something would come to a head. Trying to stay focused was going to be difficult. I had to keep my eyes on the prize and that was as many scholarship’s or grants I could manage. I knew I couldn’t stay with my aunt and uncle after graduating. Uncle William would never let that happen. Every time he looks at me it always feels like he is staring straight through me looking at someone else. Kind of eerie.
Walking into the front hallway of the school, Clay still held my hand tightly, almost like he was afraid I would make a break for it. Trying not to look obvious I started checking the hallways for Gavin, instantly feeling guilty for doing so. If I truly wanted to move on, the first step was to give Clay a chance. Thinking sternly to myself. He obviously likes me I reasoned as I glanced over at him with a huge grin set on his face. Watching him charm the crowd as we walked through it. He always seemed to hold his head up high, almost arrogantly. I almost admired that about him. He looked like he didn’t have a care in the world. How bad would it be really spending time with someone with such a magnetic personality?
Walking by a classroom one of Clay’s buddies sauntered up with a cocky smirk on his face. Looking at him, I instantly disliked him. I always hated myself for making such snap decisions about people. I just couldn’t help it though. There was something off about him. The way he
held himself and looked at you just gave you the heebeegeebees. I felt it the first day of school when I seen him with Clay. Besides, in the past I’ve always been a good judge of character. One of the great characteristics I inherited from dad.
“Hey bro, what’s goin on?”
“Ready to get my practice on today.”
Looking at him he really wasn’t bad looking at all. Definitely popular crowd, that was obvious. He had expensive designer jeans on with a nice button down shirt, and looked every bit as expensive as Clay. His hair was cut short similar to Clays, with a hint of blond streaks running through it. Whether it was fake or not the jury was still out on that. The way he was running his eyes up and down my body like I was his next course on his menu was making me feel even more uncomfortable than I cared to admit.
“So, Clay you never introduced me.” Elbowing him hard in the side.
“That’s because you’re a dick, and she’s off limits.” Returning the favor by giving him an even harder blow into his ribs.
“Ah, c’mon man. Well shit. Who needs you anyways.” Now annoyed. Holding his hand out, “Hi my name is Eric. When your done with this fool over here just look me up.” Taking my hand and kissing it a little longer than it was appropriate.
“Hi, my name is Madison.” I said quickly pulling my hand back. Great! I thought. Now, I’ll have to soak my hand in bleach. Nope, amputation is the best course. Yes, definitely amputation.
“Okay, Romeo you made your point. We all know you’re a dick who is hard up for a woman.”
“You wish asshole.” Laughing they gave each other, the cool male bonding hand slap and he sauntered back off.
“Sorry about him. He comes off a little strong and overbearing but, he grows on ya.”
“It’s alright.” I knew however he was never going to grow on me in any shape or form. I already keeping an eye out for the restroom so I could go wash my hand.
Lost in my thoughts the bell startled me back to reality when the warning for the first hour shrilled loudly through all of the halls. Leaning down, he gave me a quick peck on the cheek when really he wanted to aim for her lips. “See you at lunch?”
“Sure.” I said smiling. Relieved I wouldn’t have to sit by myself. Giving my hand a quick squeeze he had to head down the senior hallway to get to his next class where he was immediately flogged by no less than four senior girls. Just cementing the fact on how popular he was being a junior and having senior girls following him. I wish I could say it made me jealous but, it really didn’t at all. Turning I headed for my locker, grabbed my books and headed for my first class.
Sitting in class, here comes the dreaded, “Class, we have a new student, your name? Where are your from? Blah, blah, blah.” I used to feel so utterly and completely sorry for the new kids who came into my old school. Never in a million years did I ever believe that I would be the new girl. Hoping I wouldn’t have to endure this torture in every class, I eventually walked out and headed off to my next. And not to be disappointed, every morning class had to put me in the center of attention. A couple of teachers however, took mercy upon me and just introduced me and quickly went on to the matter at hand. The morning went quickly enough, still finding that the classes were pretty easy was a relief. For the most part the other kids just ignored me. Once in a while I would hear a whisper with my name and Clays in it. But, I was just thankful to be left alone.
Impatiently waiting for the afternoon to get here so, I could see Gavin in class. I almost felt giddy at the very thought. Disappointment set in earlier when I never seen him in the hall. Sitting down at lunch with Clay and some of his friends I still hadn’t seen any sign of Gavin. Until I happened to glance out the windows towards the baseball fields and there he was, out there bat in hand, hitting balls around with a couple of other guys. There was no words on how sexy he looked outside swinging that baseball bat. I could see the muscles in his arms flexing all the way from where I sat. Looking away I didn’t want to start drooling into my lunch. Suddenly, I felt a set of hands on my shoulders squeezing them, knowing it wasn’t Gavin and Clay was sitting right beside me. Looking up I was face to face with Eric again. God he was like a bad rash that just refused to go away. Maybe that was what Clay meant when he said he would grow on you. Now wondering if I was going to have to take a bath in bleach.
“Hey, Madison. Hey guys.”
Clay looking up didn’t appreciate Eric having his hands on me. “Hey dumb ass. Get your damn hands off my girl.” Giving him a rough shot to the gut.
“Hey, chill.” Smirking widely with both hands up in the air like he was surrendering, a little hunched over though from the shot from Clay. “It’s cool. I took a shower this morning. I won’t stink her out or anything.”
Laughing it off, Clay resumed his conversation with the other guys while Eric sat down across from me, glancing at me with a smirk on his face. Intentionally looking over at Eric Clay put his hand on my knee and squeezed. Turning his glance to me he winked and planted a kiss on my cheek almost reassuringly. Although, he would have to be a complete idiot not to see how uncomfortable I was around Eric. Getting up from the lunch table I could still feel Eric’s eyes on me and I wished Gavin was here to take me away from him.
“Hey sweetie,” Clay said taking both of my hands in his. “You want to go out with me tonight? Maybe come over, watch a movie, or take a dip in the pool?”
“Clay, I really can’t tonight. I have homework, and a couple of things at home I have to take care of.” Disappointed he gave me a pleading look. “Alright, not tonight.” I said seeing the instant excitement in his face. “But, maybe this weekend?”
“I’ll take it.” Instantly gratified. Giving me a quick hug. I almost felt happy at that moment. Taking my face in his hands he kissed me sweetly on my nose and started to walk off. “Oh Madison. I got practice after school today, but I can pick you up tomorrow morning again before school.”
“Alright, that would be nice.” I said smiling back at him. Eric walked by giving my elbow a squeeze.
“Bye Madison.” Smirking at me as he ran by to catch up with Clay sending a cold chill up my spine.
Walking into class Gavin’s head shot up from what ever he was writing and our eyes connected briefly. Looking away from me nervously, he quickly put his gaze back down at his paper as more kids rolled in. Sitting down across from him, “Hi Gavin. I haven’t seen you all day.” I said looking at him smiling trying to get a response.
“I’ve been around.” He said still not looking up at me.
Looking at her was just to damn hard. He thought bitterly. But, he had been keeping an eye on her no matter how much it stung. She seemed to be getting along fine. Especially with Clay following her all around like a helpless puppy dog. “Do I need to wait on you after school to give you a ride home?”
“Yeah, if that’s alright with you.”
“That’s fine.”
Ending our conversation and turning his back to me to talk to one of his friends. I really wasn’t surprised how he was treating me at this point. I know I deserve every bit of it plus more but, knowing this is just how it has to be. It truly is ripping my heart out having to take several steps back from him. At this point I’d give anything just to hear him laugh, or tease me relentlessly, or just have his arms around me. I could see that dangerous moodiness back into his beautiful dark eyes again. Just like when we first met. He has such a dark, I don’t give a damn edge to him. On one level I loved that bad boy attitude he had about him but, I also loved the other side of him when he let his shield down. He was incredibly caring and charming. The one thing I love most about him is how loyal he is to the people he cares about. No matter how mad he gets, or betrayed he feels, he is always the first one there for anyone who needs him. That truly was an admirable trait. Not to mention how truly fearless he was all the time. Could there be a more perfect guy out there? I was almost scared to wonder if anyone would ever measure up to him. Besides, all those wonderful things he is, he is also th
e most gorgeous guy I have ever laid eyes on. It wasn’t just my eyes either, it was painfully obvious how much the other girls chased after him here, even more so than Clay. Knowing Clay even for this short time, I knew that had to be a major burr up his ass. Who wouldn’t love tall, dark, and handsome? Which Gavin was the total epitome of. Then on top of that with his bad boy edge to him, god have mercy on my soul. His tanned skin laying on perfect muscles, not to mention his gorgeous face with strong jaw bones, and a smile that reaches his dark eyes when he laughs. Thick, dark hair with a hint of unruliness in the back that you can run your fingers through. You’d have to be a fool not to want him.
Unfortunately, through the rest of this class he ignored me. I could say it didn’t bother me but, that would be a lie. He is my best friend after all, the only person in this world that I trust. Which is saying a lot considering I don’t trust anyone anymore. Most especially after what my mother did. I still don’t know anything much about my fathers family. To be honest I’ve been a little scared to approach Uncle William about it. I sort of feel like my survival depends on keeping my mouth shut. Right now the only family I feel like I truly have is Gavin and how ironic that is considering were not even related. It’s weird how life works out sometimes. My heart still aches for my father that was taken away from me way to quickly, but Gavin has been there to help fill some of the loneliness at least for that short time. Aunt Julia and the twins have been great but, I always feel like I don’t quite fit when I’m with them. A mothers bond to her daughter or in this case daughters is a very special thing. Looking at them together I am envious of the way they show there love for each other. Since my mother has been so lousy to me all my life it’s hard sitting there watching all of them together. Gavin has always been the one to make me feel like I belong, like I’m exactly where I need to be.
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