“Madison your pile of presents is right there.” Kayla said pointing towards the couch were Gavin was sitting back, slouched down with his eyes shut. But, it didn’t faze the girls any, they just kept piling on his lap. When his lap wouldn’t hold anymore they started piling at his feet. Oblivious to the fact of him dozing in and out of consciousness. Taking the seat next to him I just wanted to wrap my arms around him. Ffighting the urge, I nudged him awake instead. Jumping like I shot him he sat up and rubbed his eyes yawning. Laughing softly to myself. He turned and winked at me. Finally the presents were passed out and the girls ripped in to them with paper flying in every direction. It was like a tornado hit the living room. I was glad it made me feel less nervous knowing all the attention was on them. Opening my presents, aunt Julia got me clothes. She always has such great taste. Thank goodness. But, the truth is I’d be happy with hand me downs. She even got me cute decorations for my room she said to make it feel more like my own. Leaning back I was enjoying watching everyone else examine their new gifts when Gavin handed me another one. At this point Kayla and Kylie were on Uncle Williams and Aunt Julia’s lap having them cut open their presents and putting batteries in them.
“Gavin what is this? You already gave me presents! This is too much.”
“Calm down Maddie. It’s no big deal.” Squeezing my hand gently.
“Just open it. It’s for your room.”
Opening it up it was a pretty antique picture frame. Flipping it over to look at the front, in the middle of the frame there was a picture of Gavin and I. We were sitting on the porch swing together looking at each other and laughing with Gavin’s hand up on my face brushing my hair back. It was a beautiful picture and I was wondering who took it. I obviously wasn’t aware of it being taken. Thinking it was probably aunt Julia that took it. It was black and white and looked like it was made especially for that frame. But, the best part of the picture was the way we were looking at each other in the picture. You could see it in our faces. The way we were leaning in towards each other laughing, him touching my face. It was so obvious. We were so completely in love in that picture. It was obviously taken in the summer and unfortunately things have changed. I pushed him away since then. But, the way I have felt for him hasn’t changed. If anything it has grown stronger. Looking at him I had tears in my eyes which made me all the more thankful no one was paying attention to us. “Oh Gavin, it’s beautiful. I’ll cherish this forever.” I said hugging it close.
“It’s nothing.” He said looking down almost embarrassed now.
“It’s not nothing. It’s perfect. You have no idea. All the presents you have given me are so perfect. But, this. This is exactly how I picture you when I think of you. Just like this. Laughing and being cute.”
Looking back up at me. “So you think of me?”
Smiling, now my turn to be embarrassed. “Occasionally.”
“Well occasionally is better than never.” He said smiling back.
“I mean it. Thank you Gavin.” Squeezing his hand again and pulling it back before someone seen us. Namely uncle William. Tucking it in between my pile of clothes for safe keeping. I leaned back against the couch to watch the girls. It’s amazing how every time I’m close to him I am so aware of him no matter what I’m doing or what I’m concentrating on he is always on the fore front of my mind. Even right now sitting back beside each other touching arms it’s all I can think about.
“So you have a good Christmas?” He asked still staring forward.
“As good as it can be without my parents.”
“What was your favorite part so far?” Asking simply just for conversation.
“You.”
Almost stuttering in astonishment, “Me. Well what part?”
“Every part.” I said honestly. “Thanks for making it special, when you didn’t have to.”
“Your welcome.”
After all the presents were demolished through and there was wrapping paper strewn about everywhere. Everyone went in to help make breakfast while Gavin and I stayed behind to clean up the after math. By the time we were done we filled two garbage bags and he quickly ran our present upstairs while I finished picking up. Sitting back down on the couch we decided we had done our job for the day and let everyone else make breakfast. Sitting here I really didn’t know what to say. It’s funny how sometimes I can chatter on and on to him incessantly and then other times I sit there in a quiet stupor unable to form any syllables or sentences of any kind. He’s just so beautiful I could sit around all day just staring at him. Not saying one word, just staring.
Leaning in towards her, “Maddie, what are you thinking?” He asked staring into my eyes with concern.
Sighing, “I really don’t know. Mixed emotions I suppose.”
“How do you mean?”
“Well happiness, because you made this such a great Christmas for me. Sadness also because I miss my family and friends and home so much. Then I also feel guilt because I feel so happy right now.”
Looking at her confused. “Why would you feel guilty?”
“Well, I’m happy right now just being here with you but I wouldn’t be here if my father hadn’t of passed away. I feel like I shouldn’t be happy without him.”
“Oh, Maddie do you really think your dad would want you sad all the time because he’s gone?” Trying to make her see reason.
“I know it’s irrational. But, sometimes feelings are not rational.”
“I understand that all to well.” Leaning in close to me.
“Gavin we can’t.” I whispered so low I couldn’t even hear myself say it. When our lips touched I couldn’t move it felt so good. He was so warm and every time he touches me I lose all self control. Another good reason for avoiding him. Every time he does kiss me or touch me I promise myself that, that will be the last time. And every time even if it takes a while I break that promise. Realizing one day very soon I’m going to have to grow up and let him and me move on. Separately. But, right now I couldn’t resist running my fingers through his hair and holding on while he explored me with his mouth. Hearing a noise I tried to pull away but it was to late. Uncle William had already seen us.
“What the hell do you think your doing?”He asked standing there fuming. Suddenly he didn’t seem so short anymore and he seemed a hell of a lot more intimidating. We both stood up in stunned silence while aunt Julia walked in to see what all the commotion was and immediately sent the girls up to their room.
“William what is going on?”
“Our son and that girl was kissing. What the hell do you two think you are doing? You stay away from my son! Your just a little slut just like your mom aren’t you?” His eyes blazing in anger. Gavin marching forward to defend my honor. Aunt Julia standing there stunned with her hands over her mouth.
“Your mother ruined my brother and now your doing it to my son. Well, I sure the hell am not going to let It happen. I would sooner throw you out.”
“William stop it.” Julia said trying to calm the situation down.
Turning on Julia, “It’s you and my mom’s fault. She wouldn’t even be here if you two hadn’t ganged up on me. I would have never agreed. She’s not even blood related to us.” Suddenly just realizing what he let fly out of his mouth.
“What do you mean I’m not related?”
“I mean my parents adopted your dad. Oh he was their favorite. He couldn’t do anything wrong. That is not until your mother came along and then he betrayed his whole family. My parents took him in and gave him a life. For what? Nothing!”
Standing here I could feel myself shaking. How could my mother do this to me? She knew this. This may be my dad’s family but, they obviously have hard feelings toward him now knowing he was adopted. And one thing is for sure they hated my mother. Gavin got right into his face shouting back at him about how he was adopted to and how that shouldn’t matter. The room was soon under complete chaos with aunt Julia trying to break it up. So, it was really no surprise when I was able
to slip out with no one even noticing. Mad at myself for not defending my self to that pompous ass. But, it was just to much to take right now. My whole life felt like a lie. Everything I’ve believed in, and everything I’ve come from has all been lies. Running up the stairs as fast as I could, the tears streaking down my cheeks. Not knowing exactly what I was doing until I had a bag out and had everything packed. The first thing I grabbed was the picture of Gavin and I, throwing it in the bag. Grabbing clothes and my stash of money and of course all my presents from Gavin I quickly stuffed everything in. Seeing the journal he got me I stuffed that one in also. Retrieving the one that daddy gave me I opened it up and quickly put in a clean page and set it on the bed to write him a note. He wouldn’t understand but I have to say goodbye. I owe him that much. Quickly scribbling before anyone noticed my absence.
Gavin- he’s right I’m no good for you. You’re a wonderful guy who is going places and I refuse to bring you down. I’m leaving you the possession that means the most to me, to the person who means the most to me. Take care of it and yourself. I’m sorry, Don’t look for me. I am most sorry it has to be this way.
Love, Maddie
PS I’ll never forget you.
Grabbing my bag and the heaviest coat I had without any idea where I was going, but I was going. Heading out the door I shut it quietly I could still hear them shouting at each other down stairs. I knew It would be easy enough to slip out the back door unnoticed. Resisting the need to sneak in for one more glimpse of Gavin. I knew I’d be seen or even worse I wouldn’t be able to leave him behind. Breaking my resolve. So, running out the back door I headed towards the road into the cold air tears streaking down my face. I didn’t know what to do or where to go. Trying to pull myself together I decided to walk to Andreas until I decided what I was going to do. I knew she would hide me. I also knew it was going to be a cold, long walk into town. Knowing there wasn’t going to be very much traffic on the road not that I could hitch a ride anyways. I had to be sure I wasn’t seen at least as little as possible. Pulling my hood up I wrapped the scarf around my face and started the long walk. I already decided if I heard Gavin’s truck coming I would duck into the woods. Luckily, the truck is loud enough I would be able to hear it from a pretty good distance.
Chapter Sixteen: So Alone
In between all the screaming Gavin started to look around. “Where did Maddie go?” Asking his mother.
“Um I don’t know.” She said wringing her hands tears running down her cheeks.
“Maybe she went upstairs.” He said starting to dart off.
“Gavin, you leave that girl alone. She’s no good for you. Really, who gives a shit were she went. She’s just like her mother.”
Gavin now getting up in his face something he has never done his whole life. “You don’t talk about her that way in front of me.” He warned staring into his fathers eyes with a note of threat in them.
“You don’t talk to your father that way.” Swallowing hard taking a step back from him. Leaving at those harsh words and stares he turned and ran up stairs to find her. Swinging her door open violently he ran in to find her room empty. Nothing but a note and her journal that he knew was her most prized possession one she would never leave. Reading the letter on top he crumpled it up into a fist and could feel a tear streak down his cheek. He couldn’t help but feel like he’d lost her forever. Knowing they were down stairs a good half hour arguing he realized she could have gotten pretty far. He didn’t know how he could have been so stupid to not realize that she had left. Lifting up her journal he made a promise to himself that he would find her and return it to her. Quickly going into his own room he hid it in a drawer and tucked the letter in his back pocket so his dad wouldn’t find either and destroy them. The only thing he had left. Grabbing his keys to his truck he ran down stairs.
“Gavin where are you going sweetie?” Julia asked still distraught over the events that had just taken place. William now sitting acting completely oblivious to everything.
“She’s gone mom. She left us.”
“What?” She asked bringing new tears to her eyes. “What do you mean she gone?”
“I mean she’s left a note. She’s gone and she’s not planning on coming back.”
“Oh I’m so sorry dear.”
“Good riddance.” His dad mumbled, sitting back into his chair. Julia now whipped around with a fire in her eyes.
“For your sake William McKnight, you better pray she comes back or that we find her.” She said striding out slamming every door she came into contact with.
“See what you caused son? Just leave it alone.”
“I will not leave it alone.” Turning his back and running out the door unwilling to waste any more time arguing with him. Not sure where he was going, just hoping she was walking along side of the road.
I was almost to town now and I felt like a block of ice. Hoping to God Andrea was going to be home knowing everything but the train depot would be closed today. Walking up to her house I didn’t want to knock on the door because I knew the first place Julia and Gavin look for me would be Andrea’s. Walking around to the back of the house I found Andreas room. Thank goodness her bedroom was on the first floor. Putting my ear to the cold pane of glass I first tried to listen to make sure if she was home and if her parents weren’t around. The truth was her parent’s weren’t home very much anyways. One was a lawyer and worked in the city while the other was a high class realtor and also worked in the city. Knocking gently on the window I was relieved when Andrea yanked up the blind.
“What are you doing here?” Andrea asked astonished.
“I need to stay with you a while.” I said while climbing into the window.
“You know my parent’s aren’t home you could of knocked on the door.”
“Well, I assumed they would be home on Christmas.”
“Yeah right Madison. You know better than that.” She said smiling sitting on the bed. “I’m happy you’re here though. It gets lonely around here.” Now very excited. I couldn’t help it I started crying. I just had to.
“Oh God. What’s wrong Madison?” Just now seeing my big bulky bag and how freezing cold I was she sat down next to me on the bed.
“Did you walk all the way here?” She asked concerned now.
“Yeah I did.” I said in between tears.
“I ran away. I need to stay with you until I can figure out what I need to do.”
“Yeah, of course you can.”
“You can’t tell your parents though. No one can know.”
“Of course I won’t. They won’t be home but a couple times this week. An hour here, an hour there. It’ll be easy to hide you. But, where are you going to go?”
“I don’t know.” I said slipping out of my jacket enjoying the feel of the now warm air on my skin. “I was thinking about going to find my mom. I know she’s in Chicago.”
“Madison Chicago is a huge city. Your going to have to narrow it down some more.”
“Well, I think I can figure it out. I remember hearing the name of the bar she works at in the back ground last time I talked to her. Jay’s Pub is all I heard. Shouldn’t be to difficult to find. I’ll find it and wait until she shows up for work.”
“Yeah.” Andrea said looking down. “That may work. But, I don’t want you to leave.” She wined. “What happened Madison?”
Sighing, “Uncle William caught Gavin and I kissing.” I said unwilling to say anymore.”
“Oh my freaking shit!” “
Andrea! I’ve never heard you cuss before.”
“How was it?” She asked now jumping up and down on the bed.
“Are you forgetting the fact I just ran away?” I said a little annoyed now.
“No. But, I still want to know.”
“Well, it wasn’t the first time, but that didn’t make it any less amazing.”
Squealing now, I couldn’t help but feel a little excited with her. He after all he was amazing. She obviously knew that
and I of course knew that.
“I can’t believe you never told me I should kick you out right now.” She teased.
“Well, it’s something that should never of happened. We live together after all.”
“Well, I can see why you dropped Clay like a bad habit. Don’t get me wrong Clay is hot to but, Gavin. Geesh it should be a crime to be that sexy.”
“Your not telling me anything I don’t already know Andrea. Believe me it was the hardest thing I’ve ever had to do walking out that door today and leaving him behind.”
“So, why did you?”
“I have my reasons. I really don’t want to talk about it.”
“It’s okay. Maybe later. You hungry?”
“Starving.”
“Great. I’ll cook.” Getting up I followed her into the kitchen where she was an expert. Making a full lunch for us and it was amazing. You could tell she got left home a lot and she had a lot of practice. It made me feel bad for her. I knew how she felt. My mom had a choice but she chose not to be home. My dad wanted to be home but had no choice but to be gone at work.
As we were sitting at the table eating and talking, well she was talking I was listening. The doorbell rang.
“I wonder who that could be?” Andrea asked standing up looking out the window toward the driveway.
“Oh God. It’s Gavin Madison.”
Panicking, I got up. “Do not tell him I’m here Andrea! Please!”
“You know I won’t. Go hide in my room.” She said shoeing me off before she opened up the door. Leaving the bedroom door cracked I could hear and see everything.
“Andrea have you seen Maddie?”
“No Gavin. I’m sorry. Is there something wrong?”
She asked like a pro. I was actually impressed. That was until I heard the anguish and guilt in Gavin’s voice.
“Are you sure she hasn’t called or anything? I really need to find her.”
“No, sorry Gavin.”
“Please if you hear from her or see her, please call me.”
Tangled Dreams Page 25