by Pelzer,Lissa
‘But I don’t need Bobby to tell me Terence McCoy pays out. It’s common knowledge. The last girl he was with for a year, that’s what she got, one million dollars not to talk. You know that, right? There was a girl before her too. She got the same, but the story didn’t get out. Everyone in the business knows it.’
‘Just because something happens twice, it doesn’t mean it’s going to happen again.’
‘Look around… Look as all these girls. Do you think we’re all here for the show?’
Lilly turned back again. There were too many girls her own age here. There was a swarm, filtering back from the door she’d just walked out of, like a mist of newly hatched mojitos on a lake. There were eyes on her too, sizing her up, getting ready to take her down.
‘Everyone knows this is the weekend when a new deal will be made. Prince Charming is going to choose his Cinderella. It’s the only time he gets to see what’s out there. After this, he’s off around the world.’
And Lilly froze. From here she could see the doorway she had come out of. It looked different now. Not quite the place you ran away from but not quite a million dollars either. Cassandra had a point. Here she was going crazy trying to get paid by Bobby when maybe she could just turn around and set herself up for life.
‘But if that is what you’re here for,’ Cassandra said. ‘You’re barking up the wrong tree. I don’t think the offer applies to you. No offense.’
‘What does that mean?’
‘I don’t think you’d last the year. I don’t think you’d last the week. Not after what happened to The Judge.’ She took her cigarette out of her mouth and Lilly watched it trace its way to an unused champagne glass. ‘You’re damaged now, right? Even if you could act normal, act like a lady, like you liked it, how long till the police show up and drag you away?’
So Bobby had told her that she attacked The Judge up before he even got there. She wasn’t surprised. Why would he take all the blame himself?
‘You would have done the same.’
‘No, Lilly. I’ve got something called a moral conscience. I understand when a deal is done, when cash is exchanged for services, those services need to be delivered. No matter what he did, that man was a good man, he saved Bobby’s life once… and he had a family.’
‘A family? Are you fucking serious?’ Bobby must have left out some details. ‘That man was a sadist, a rapist.’ She waited to see the word register on Cassandra’s face, but there was nothing there.
Her forehead stayed pale and smooth like the upper side of a jellyfish.
‘He wanted to injure me,’ Lilly said. She thought of the stick he had, like an English policeman’s truncheon, how he’d wanted to insert it inside her like an experiment to see if it fit. ‘He was a child abuser. That’s what he was into.’
Cassandra shook her head. ‘What fantasy world do you live in where you think men want to do anything else? Sure. He wanted to hurt you, but he didn’t want you to know about it. That’s why Bobby told him you were hypnotized. Credit where credit’s due. I want to eat a steak, but I don’t want the cow to suffer, isn’t it the same?’ She hit her cigarette hard and the smoke sat in the bottom of her mouth like an oyster she couldn’t swallow. ‘That’s why he had one of Bobby’s girls.’ Her hand came down over her mouth. ‘Hear no evil, see no evil, feel no evil.’ And the smoke wafted out into Lilly’s eyes.
‘I did hear it. I did see it.’
‘But it was your job to pretend you didn’t. Is that so hard?’
‘You weren’t there.’
‘If I were there, it wouldn’t have happened.’ Cassandra sighed. ‘But come on. Leave off the dramatics. What happened - happened. I don’t really care, but Lilly, you shouldn’t be here. Don’t you get that? You’re never going to get the jackpot out of Terence McCoy. All you’re doing here is stopping me from getting it.’
Lilly was still amazed. That was Cassandra. There might be a hundred other girls all doing what she was doing, but she assumed that if Lilly left she could just walk right in and get what she wanted.
‘If you want me to go so much, there’s a way you can make it happen.’ She had her attention but knew it wouldn’t last. ‘Find Bobby. Tell him I want my money. As soon as it’s in my hand, I’ll go. He knows that already. I’ll be gone.’ She held her hand out palm up and Cassandra looked at it like she might spit in it.
‘He doesn’t have it.’
‘This isn’t a threat, but you know, he’s not in a position to not have it. He told you right?’
‘That you came with Davis? Yeah, I know…’
Lilly shook her head at the guts of it. Even to her, Cassandra wasn’t willing to admit she’d been feeding Davis information. ‘You need to get away from Bobby,’ she said. ‘You’re getting as deluded as him.’
‘Yeah, because she drove down with us from Toronto?’
‘You think she followed me up here from Miami? Why would she? She could have come and got me off the streets anytime she liked down there. She didn’t need to follow me up here.’
‘She could have got Carol Ann anytime she wanted, but she wasn’t looking for her. She was looking for Lilly Lessard…’
‘And why is that? I wonder who told her my name.’
‘Do I need to spell it out to you?’ Cassandra leaned in. ‘Because Carol Ann didn’t book a room in Sea Island on the same corridor as The Judge…’ Cassandra trailed off, her mouth fell open.
Lilly glanced back over her shoulder to see what she was looking at and saw something that made her jaw drop too. Moon Face with her chest up against a wall, her dress hitched up to her hips, a man down on his knees looking up her crack as she shook it from side to side.
‘Idiot child,’ Cassandra said. ‘They think they’re being so deviant, so novel. They’re just lowering the bar for everyone else.’
‘I know that girl.’
‘Why am I not surprised?’
Lilly put her hand up to deflect whatever Cassandra had to say. She could come back to her, but right now she had to sort Moon Face out.
‘Just tell Bobby to give me the money!’ she hissed and she came down the hallway, pushing shoulders out of the way until she reached Moon Face. The girl was laughing and hooting with her cheek pressed against the wall.
‘Hey!’ Lilly shouted, but in the crush no one heard her. She had to pause to remember Moon Face’s name or the one she was using. ‘Hey, Summer!’ The girl looked back at her, her face sweaty and her eyes red. She started to laugh again. ‘Carol Ann! You want to join in?’
She had to try to keep it easy, not scare her too much. ‘Girl what are you doing? Pull your dress down!’
‘What? I’m just giving the guys a show!’ She turned to face her audience. ‘You guys want a show, don’t you?’
A few faces lit up, but only the male ones. Lilly watched as the women let their derision show in their teeth. She came to her side and pulled at her dress, got boos from behind her back and someone grabbed her shoulder. She turned on him, hiding the snarl.
‘We need to take this down a notch!’ she said out loud. She pulled on Moon Face’s dress. ‘And you need to take it easy.’
‘Oh my God. I’m having fun. Aren’t you having fun?’
‘Hey, honey. What the big idea?’ The guy on the floor was on his back now. ‘You’re killing my buzz. You’re really lowering the tone.’
‘What happened to those guys you came in with?’
Moon Face opened her eyes real wide. ‘Who?’
‘The guys from the limo.’
‘Oh.’ She waved her hand across her face. ‘I got rid of them.’
The guy between her legs got up. ‘She’s on loan to me and I’ve got fifteen minutes… from five minutes ago. Do you get what I’m saying?’
‘I get it.’
‘Fifteen minutes and I can do whatever I like.’
‘She’s not a fucking jet ski.’ She turned to Moon Face. ‘I don’t have time for this. Come on. Get yourself together.’
Moon Face
was making smacking sounds with her tongue. She needed water. She was flying.
‘Can’t you get this girl a drink?’ Lilly asked the guy.
He leaned in. ‘No. You get her a drink if it’s that so important to you. You didn’t lay out the money.’
‘Come on. Let’s get her away from prying eyes at least….’ The guy clamped her other arm. ‘She’s underage,’ Lilly spat. ‘You want these people to have that on camera?’ She waited for the fear to show on his face, but it didn’t.
‘It’s pretty dark in here,’ he said.
And Moon Face pulled out her driver’s license and waved it in front of Lilly’s face.
‘See. I told you I had it.’
Lilly snatched it out of her hand, didn’t look at it, just took it off her, took her arm and led her floppy body through the corridor towards another couch. Maybe she should take her to the producer’s room, but really it didn’t seem any safer. She should take her downstairs, out of this party and out of the front door. But she had to find Bobby, had to make it known that she was with Terence McCoy.
‘Where did you come from?’ She asked the guy following them through. ‘Where are those douches that you found her with?’
‘Can’t you just stop? You’re wasting time. Her man is going to come out for her while you’re blah, blah, blahing.’
‘Listen, Guy! I’m not going to let you fuck her if that’s your game.’
He lifted one eyebrow. ‘I don’t see what it’s got to do with you.’
Moon Face started to laugh. ‘Carol Ann it’s fine! I’m cool with this.’ She twisted her arm and Lilly was holding it with the hand she’d fallen on and let go straight away. Moon Face stepped back unsteadily towards the banister and Lilly grabbed her as she turned. She held her by the shoulders and felt her silky, wet skin slip through her fingers. She only had the chain of Moon face’s purse between her fingers now. For a moment she looked sober, looked like she knew what she was talking about. Then Lilly saw her eyes contract and wince. She saw a rainbow of vomit leave her mouth, and a few seconds later heard the screams of the people below. Lilly cringed and closed her eyes, waited for the retching to stop before dragging her back from the edge. A trail of something that looked like cherry soda followed her across the banister and down the carpet. People were still screaming, acting as if it had been boiling oil and not teen puke that rained down on their heads.
‘We need a room,’ Lilly said to the guy, but he threw up his hands.
And Moon Face collapsed to her knees.
‘Come on.’ She tugged her along.
At the next door, Gary had come out and she stuck her head behind Moon Face to avoid his line of sight. They passed the pussy eating room and the movie room came to another door and pushed it open. Whoever was in there would just have to deal with it.
It was occupied, but it was quiet. There was just one light pointing right at the door. It was too bright to see who was there, but she heard a voice.
‘Oh good,’ Heavy Eyes said. ‘Like a messenger pigeon, the little bird found her way home.’
Lilly turned to pull Moon Face back out, but she got free.
‘I need another line,’ she announced and they all laughed.
‘What she needs, is water.’ Lilly’s eyes began to adjust to the light. She saw a bed, stretched over with a plastic sheet, a roll of paper towels and there was that smell, a gas or something similar and it stung her eyes.
‘She can have water if she wants water. She can have champagne, diamonds, fame, anything she likes.’ Heavy Eyes laughed. ‘She can have a chocolate milkshake enema if she really wants one.’
Someone was laughing. Lilly didn’t know who.
Moon Face was reaching out like she wasn’t too sure how far away the end of her hands went and Heavy Eyes reached out too, laughed and made a sound like a ghost. Bleach Job was there too, but he wasn’t laughing now. He was just sitting in the corner of the room rolling a beer bottle around between his hands, looking like he’d had too much of pretty much everything.
Moon Face collapsed onto Heavy Eyes’ knee. ‘There you are,’ he said. ‘Safe and sound. Did you have fun with our friend?’
Moon Face didn’t say anything. She tried to lick her lips, but her tongue got stuck and Heavy Eyes lifted his glass of beer to her lips.
‘And how about you, Blondie, you want some of my beer?’ He held his glass out towards Lilly. In the glow of the light, she saw the foam on it, bitty and too full of bubbles. He’d put something in there and when he put it down without taking a sip, she knew she was right.
‘No? My goodness. You’re pretty, but you’re dull. Isn’t she dull, little birdy? I bet you just lie there don’t you? With your legs open and looking up at the ceiling.’ He pursed his lips together. ‘Imagining men will come in you just because you’re so beautiful.’
Moon Face wrinkled her nose up. ‘She’s not always so dull. She was telling me before about how she goes with old men, how she pretends she’s hypnotized, how she gets money out of them.’
Lilly leveled a stare Moon Face. She was just talking without thinking, her self-censor switch temporarily flipped to off, but Heavy Eyes was listening.
‘Is that so?’
She didn’t reply, didn’t want to rise to the challenge. She approached him all the same, took a hold of Moon Face’s hand and felt it slip out of hers like a snake.
‘I need to have a word with her.’ She spoke as calmly as she could and he didn’t stop her. She kept her eyes on him and lifted Moon Face out of his lap. The girl moaned liked it was too great an exertion but got up all the same. Lilly thought about getting out the door and just making a run for it, but Moon Face was moving like a bag full of kittens. She knew that if Moon Face was going to get away, she was going to have to play some part in her own escape.
‘You can’t stay here,’ she whispered into her ear. ‘We have to leave.’
‘Why? I’m having fun.’
Lilly squeezed her arm tight. What was wrong with this girl? ‘You’re not having fun. This isn’t safe. This is the opposite of fun.’
Moon Face’s head went back as it weighed more than her body, as if her neck might just snap, but fleetingly her voice sounded clear, almost rational.
‘I don’t get you. You told me last night that you hustle guys all the time and you get paid, and you live in Miami and everything is fine, and then when I do something similar, you freak out.’
‘They want you to have sex with them, Summer, like with all of them.’ She hesitated, didn’t want to say what was so obvious, that there was stuff around the place that looked like it was used to clean up a mess. ‘Whatever they have planned, this isn’t going to be something you write about in your book.’
Her eyes rolled in her head. ‘Why not?’
‘Think about it. Do you need money that bad?’
Moon Face sighed. She had it all figured out. ‘I’m not doing it for money,’ she smirked. ‘They’re not paying me. I might be into some crazy, wild stuff, but I’m not a prostitute, like you.’
Lilly could just let go of her, let her fall on the floor and walk out of the room. How was helping this girl ever going to do her any favors? But she couldn’t do it, couldn’t just let it happen.
‘Do you honestly want people to know you did this? Are you going to describe what’s happening right now, put your picture on the back of a book and sign copies of it at Barnes and Noble?’
‘I get it now.’ Moon Face held up a finger. ‘You’re old school. Money for sex and paper for books,’ she muttered. ‘Money for sex… That’s why that guy got rid of you. If you want money for it, it’s like you don’t want it. Who’d want to have sex with someone who wanted money for it? It’s like saying you’re not really into it. It’s kind of…’ She searched for the word. ‘Pimping yourself. Like abusing someone and that someone is you. You’ve got to want it. If you want to do it, you have to convince them that you want to do it! Rule number one. You’ve got to want it.’
> She was gone again. The moment of clarity had faded.
‘You don’t want to do it!’
‘Yeah, I do actually. This is an experience. Life is experiences.’
‘Are you ladies done?’ Heavy Eyes called over. ‘Because we’ve got games we want to play.’
Bleach Job had stood up too and in the corner someone moved. Maybe it was the guy from the limo. Lilly couldn’t tell. Her eyes went to Bleach Job’s hands. There was something in his hands, a stick or a cloth or a gun. She couldn’t tell. But he was stroking it. Getting ready to use it.
‘Come on girls.’ His voice was steady and calm just like The Judge’s had been on Sea Island. ‘Why don’t you both just sit down?’
Lilly felt the tension building in her shoulders, the shutters coming down over her eyes.
The Judge had said, ‘why don’t you just sit down here a moment,’ patting the yellow silk chair. And Lilly had sat because that’s what you were meant to do under hypnosis. But she didn’t want to. Even then she knew something was wrong. She knew she had to fall over – to have and accident – to bring herself around, so she had stood up again.
‘Sit down,’ he said again. He spoke so kindly. She couldn’t do anything but sit. To do anything else would be rude, impolite, un-lady-like. He pressed his hands on the inside of her knees, humming to himself like he was a doctor just doing his job, not enjoying it, doing her a service. He murmured and turned around for a moment to get the camera. That wasn’t allowed. Lilly knew that wasn’t allowed. She would fall over. She could tell Bobby he had a camera. Then he took the thing out of his bag and laid it on the carpet. He stroked it like it was part of him, like it turned him on to feel the wood under his fingers. He reached towards the inside of her thighs, his elderly thumb and forefingers came towards her, tried to part her lips and he turned around to pick up the wood.
She’d snapped. ‘Get the fuck away from me!’
‘What the hell?’ He dropped the wood and it thudded against the carpeted floor. He had a look of shock on his face, but quickly it turned to anger. ‘You little hussy,’ he said. ‘You little charlatan! How dare you!’ He grabbed her by the wrists. ‘If that’s your game, cheating, lying…’