by Moore, Gabi
Erol may have found his purpose, but I still had no idea what the hell was happening. The appearance of the Wilder Fae worried me more than an little. As far as I was concerned, I was stuck, operating on previous orders, with new information that threw a significant doubt into the nature of the mission overall.
The problem was that this new information only provided a source of cognitive dissonance, and not any sense of true evidence of betrayal. The problem with the Void was documented, and had no apparent solution. The entire reason I had agreed with Thane in the first place was because of the overwhelming evidence that our world was about to suffer catastrophic ecological changes, and nobody was doing anything about it.
"But why would they want to stop me..."
"Who's they?"
Ever perceptive, Erol had picked up his investigation where he left off not long ago.
"My brain hurt.
I strained to think of a way to explain it to him in a way he could understand. I didn't want to go through the entire history of a fictitious race with him, while contending with the long standing imaginary constructs that he held in his own mind.
"At a certain point, people end up believing what they want to believe, and I'm not sure it is worth while to attempt to change things after that."
"Well if I've got something wrong, and you can prove it, then why not just share it with me?"
"Because I can't prove it. Not yet anyways."
"Why are you here?"
"I need you to open a portal."
The car started accelerating, and Erol rolled down the window to feel the fresh air of the highway blow into the cab of the truck. Rosemary opted to join Erol in the indulgence offered by the breeze, while Amethyst was content to rest her head on my shoulder.
The comfort of another creature felt nice, and I allowed myself to be soothed by the dog's affection.
I had expected a stream of questions to come out of Erol's mouth, but instead, he let me alone for a while, and focused on his driving. The break was peaceful, if short-lived. As it turned out, he was simply taking my information and processing it within his own mind. He needed to reason why I wanted him to open a portal, and fit it within whatever paradigm that he had constructed for himself.
I was getting tired of dealing with his conflicted and limited paradigm. Letting him believe whatever hew wanted about the experience was liberating, in that I didn't have to explain everything to him, but it still felt manipulative and disconnected.
I'm no better than Thane, if I keep this game up, I thought.
Fortunately, I didn't have to wait too long before Erol spoke up.
"I wanted to say I'm sorry," he began. "About the O.T.O, and the Shadow Government bit."
I shrugged, but he continued regardless.
"Things have happened to me in the past, before you showed up. You're not the only person who has ever taken an interest in my work."
"Is that right?"
I was genuinely interested, though still cautious about the significance of this information.
"Absolutely. I've gotten strange letters in the mail. Unnecessary clicks on the phone line. Even the sensation that I was being followed out in the middle of the wilderness."
None of that surprised me in the least. After all, I had been given information on him as a target before even coming to the Material Plane. Likely there had been other scouts in the past that had kept and eye on him. Still, there was no reason to discount this information out of hand.
"So what?"
"I know that I'm onto something, and I know that I'm not the only one that is interested in this information. Having you come into my life, and directly verify what I had suspected all along..."
"What exactly is it that you think these portals do?"
"Well, it's obvious. They open dimensions between worlds."
"And you automatically suspect Atlantis and the Shadow Government?"
"That's why I want to apologize. Sometimes, I get a bit carried away. The fact is, that I don't know what is on the other side, and I don't know why you want me in particular to open the portal."
He shrugged.
"It may just be that I have been studying these things my whole life, or it may be something else. Regardless of what it is, or who you are, I want you to know that I'm with you, though I might not be doing this for the same reason as yourself."
He had gaffed me.
"What do you mean?"
He continued to drive, quiet for a time, as though collecting his thoughts. All around us, I could see nothing except a sea of thick redwood trees. The highway itself had narrowed, and the little beat up truck continued to rumble along in spite of itself.
"I think humanity needs you. Whatever you are, wherever you've come from. I think humanity needs something in this world to pull them out of a state of philosophical depression."
"I'm not sure you understand what you are saying."
"Well, the way I see it, you are a representative of a race capable of things that we humans only dream of. I recognize that obviously you have the capacity for both good, and bad, which means that there is no certainty as to the outcome of an intersection between the two races. "
He paused for a moment, and let out a long sigh.
"As a matter of fact, in all likelihood, your culture will likely overthrow our own. I don't think it will be personal either. Historically, every time a more advanced civilization has interacted with a less technologically integrated civilization, there has been an unrepentant dominance and absorption of the previous culture into the dominant new culture. I don't think you'll have a choice."
"I don't understand how that is an advantage to humanity."
"Well, that's because you don't see humanity as I do."
"Elucidate."
He laughed.
"The problem is that most people in our world today don't have any kind of imaginative capacities whatsoever. Scientific reductionism has taken so firmly a hold on our cultural psychology that we can't seem to determine the difference between our own ass and an ad in a fashion magazine."
"No offense, but I've seen more than a few asses here that look nothing like they belong in a fashion magazine."
"Okay, well, maybe that was a bad analogy. What I mean to say is that there is nothing special about the human, in their own self-evaluation. Everything has been reduced to materialism and consumerism. All emotions and tendencies are commoditized. Religious instincts are used for political control, or subverted into dominance schemes. "
"Sounds like you did this to yourselves."
"It’s true! But, that doesn't make it any less depressing."
"I don't think you'll find us to be the benevolent saviors you hope for."
As I spoke, my mind replayed the battle with Xan, and all of the intricacies of the political system within the Capitol. The very fact that the Wilder elves had attacked meant that there was no final bastion of ideological purity within the Fae Realm. If there was no purity, then I could hardly believe that we could be seen as the saviors of another world.
"Your spiritual death sounds like a personal problem that each human needs to face. I sincerely doubt we will change that for you."
"That’s just it! I don't think you will change anything either. However, I think that opening the portal might lead to creating a catalyst, which challenges the basic assumptions of the world we live in."
"I see..."
He was right.
Not even the Fae knew how the rift would work out. We were working in entirely unknown territory. It went without saying that the opening of a Rift would change everything, but that didn't necessarily mean that everything would change for the better.
It was more like a desperate strike into the darkness, in hopes that whatever rested on the other side was somehow better than what was inevitable in the absence of such exploration.
Of course, whenever we struck out into new territories, there was always the risk that was associated with that process
of discovery. Problems might be alleviated, but then again, things might only grow in their complexity, as well.
"Neither side knows what will happen."
"And both sides believe that there is a hope for things to change."
I looked at him, skeptical of how much he understood.
He caught the glance and laughed again.
"It's obvious that the stakes are high. Otherwise, why show yourself? Why expose yourself, or put yourself in danger to protect the life of someone like me?"
He shook his head and bit his lip.
"No, things are changing, for sure. All I can say is that I am going to do everything in my power to make that change happen. As for the consequences, I'll leave the burden of impact to someone else."
Amethyst lifted her head to stare at her master, and then lowered it down once more to the seat. I agreed with her sentiment entirely.
"We will see."
Whether it was the hum of the car, or the fatigue from the battle at the restaurant, I found that it was soon time for me to nap. Closing my eyes once more, I drifted off to sleep; passively riding along with Erol while he carted us forward to our destinies.
I woke up to the sight of fire.
Chapter 12
The fire was contained within a sphere that was thousands of miles away. I adjusted my eyes to the light, and looked around my environment. The familiar car, and the comforting presence of the dog were no longer part of the picture. Instead, I had somehow found myself once more in the landscape of the Demon Realm.
With a mixture of revulsion and intrigue, I looked at the body that I once more inhabited. The same reptilian form as before covered my skin, and I thought about the words of Erol.
Could this be? I thought to myself.
I wasn’t sure if this was my true form, or if this was only another passing moment. The whole question brought deeper thoughts into my brain, and in the way that only dreams can provide, an answer arrived matter-of-factly in my consciousness.
Like a giggle, or a transformation of thought, the conclusion left me, as soon as it had arrived.
I blinked.
Whatever that thought was, it didn’t seem to matter much any more. I was here, and that was enough for me to worry about. I felt more capable than I did the time before. Already, I was keeping an eye on the ground, and making my way toward more stable places to rest.
I launched up into the air, and felt the beauty of my wings as they manipulated the air currents around me. I felt powerful, and strong. A smile came to my face, in spite of the horrific landscape, and I remembered the simple joys of flying.
Without any effort at all, my wings opened and caught the air currents on the way down, transforming my plummet into a graceful arc. I soared past the edges of the wasteland, and into the rocky grey mountains beyond.
The pleasure slowed when I realized that I was not alone, and that I most likely stood out like a bloodstain against the vacant sky. I opted to dive down to the ground, and fly along the parched and cracked soil beneath my shadow. In all likelihood, whomever I had observed would also have seen me.
As I grew closer to the mountainsides, it became clear to me that I had been seen by whatever beings had been standing on the cliffs. I could feel their eyes on my body as I approached. My body shrank, and I remembered the difficulties that I had experienced during my last visit to this place. I dared not stop on the ground, but I was also hesitant to approach.
In the end, curiosity won out over deliberation, and I decided to fly upward, along the incline of the mountain. Once I reached an altitude that was slightly higher than that of my target, I slowed to a stop.
The claws on my feet dug into the gravel and sand which made up the sides of the mountain. A feeling of relief, and also dismay followed thereafter. In front of me, on the plateau, was a demon whom I knew to be Thane.
"I see you've acclimated to your new form!"
He laughed and extended both of his wings for emphasis. He sounded victorious, as though none of this was any sort of surprise to him. Thane had always been a worldly type of person, but to believe that something as strange and perverse as this world was to be considered normal.
"How did you know it was me?” I called out, still hesitant to truly approach and close the distance between the two of us.
"The same way you knew it was me. The soul knows its partner, regardless of what plane it is on. The whole reason we are here speaking together right now is not an accident, Aria."
His words rang clearly in my mind, even though the distance between the two of us was still considerable.
Plucking up my bravery, I leapt into the air, and glided down the side of the mountain toward his position. I landed close, but not too close. Near enough to recognize him by his eyes, and some of his more basic characteristics.
Even still, the match was not exact. His body was stronger than I remember. The scales on his skin made his entire frame appear to be more boxlike in construction.
His chest was bold, and his tale was thick at the base of his spine, and tapered off toward the end, some five or six feet away.
He looked deadly, and dangerous to be around. What made me feel more sad than anything else, was that I knew he looked like me.
"Impressed?" he asked, his teeth glinting in the light of the sun.
I was more than just impressed. He had me terrified.
I stared at him, with inspired awe in my eyes. The way that he held himself was so warlike, and majestic in this form. I was speechless.
"You may see me as something which is worthy of admiration, but I can't be anywhere as beautiful as yourself."
He smiled, though the smile was edged with teeth which made my heart race.
"The way that you soared through the air. It had been such a long time since I had seen you express your natural beauty like that; it really is something."
Now it was my turn to smile.
"It really is you, Thane. Once the compliments start flowing, it’s like honey for flies, isn't it?"
He had to laugh.
"You sound upset."
"Well, a lot of shit has happened since I saw you last. I don't even know what to make of all of it."
He nodded, like he already knew what I was going to say. The non-verbal cue that he was aware of the attack too me by surprise.
"There are a lot of changes on the horizon, Aria. I just want you to know how very much all of your work here means to us."
"Us?"
"The Fae race, though we won't be called that any longer when this is all over with."
"What are you talking about? What do you mean we won't be called that any--"
"Take a look around, and tell me what you see."
He gestured out over the barren landscape. Not a single thing covered the ground, save for cracks and rocks. The whole absence of life was disconcerting, in a strange way. I felt like the world was somehow incomplete."
"I see death."
He shook his head and grinned.
I hated it when he did that; behaved as though he knew something I didn't. It was one of his many secrets. The problem was that he was both so convincing, and well-informed that I really didn't know what to expect from him.
I shrugged.
"What do you see?"
"Potential," he said, smiling obligingly. "When I look around here, I see an emptiness. You had mentioned that it reminded you of death, but can death not also be a form of transition?"
He reminded me of a winged serpent, or a fallen angel. The reference was obviously to one of the more familiar trends of occultism and esoterica within the Capitol.
Ever since a relative peace had taken hold of the city, the people's thoughts had grown increasingly philosophical. As a result, everybody and their mother were collecting Tarot decks. The cards themselves had a long life in the human realm, but their magic was trans dimensional, as was their efficacy. The Tarot was a pictorial map of the mind of the gods; well, one of many.
"I
understand, but both you and I know that your a man of action, and not metaphysical speculation."
"Ha ha! Exactly!"
"And what follows Death?"
I strained my memory for a moment to think of the answer.
"Fuck your games, Thane."
"Ah ah, keep your Temper."
He squatted down and began stretching his hulking frame along the ground. I wasn't sure if it was just my eyes, but the rocks of the mountain appeared to crack and break beneath the shifting of his movements. Suddenly, the answer came.
"Temperance."
"That's right, my dear. Temperance. Let not a soul say that you are an unreflective person, and what does that mean?"
He smiled at me, and I kicked him. I didn't even bother to restrain myself.
The blow connected squarely beneath his arm. He had anticipated my movements, and captured my leg. As easily as I had kicked him, he dove in the same direction as the arc of my kick. The physics of the maneuver were brilliant. Thane had always been an incredible fighter, but the resulting power in his new form was not something I was prepared to handle.
I was immediately swept off of my feet, and launched like a throwing hammer into the air away from Thane.
The damage was minimal, but what was truly incredible was how quickly I was able to react. My wings extended out to either side of my body and stabilized my fall. Without much effort at all, I was able to hover there in the air, just off the side of the mountain.
"Temperance, means the regeneration of health, toward a balance and equilibrium!"
He shouted the sentence, and when I looked at him, I saw how happy he was with himself.
"This, is what follows after Death!"
I lowered myself down to the plateau once more. The fight was not sincere. The whole process had been an elaborate form of demonstration. Nothing more. Meanwhile, Thane was gesturing toward me, like I was some divine revelation sent here to prove his point.
"Don't you see it?" he asked with complete earnest. "Your wings! The angels of mythology do not look as beautiful as you."
The flattery was nice, but I had seen my reflection in this world. We were once Fae, but there was something darker about this place. I wasn't convinced that this form of renewal was exactly what was meant by the ancient knowledge of the cards.