by Caragh Bell
‘Can I make a coffee?’ he asked, pointing to the Nespresso machine.
‘Knock yourself out.’
He inserted a capsule in the slot and pressed the button. The kitchen filled with the smell of coffee. Lydia, who hadn’t bothered to clean up after her own breakfast, used the same bowl and whisk.
The eggs were ready in no time, so she tipped them onto a plate with the toast. Luca watched her work, a cup of coffee in his hand.
‘So, I guess you’re wondering why I’m here,’ he stated matter-of-factly.
She said nothing and waited for him to continue.
‘I went to Colin’s place and he said you were here.’
Her mind went into overdrive. Colin knew he was here! She grabbed her phone which was charging on the counter top. Sure enough, there were fifteen missed calls from her cousin.
‘How did you get here?’ she asked, her eyes wide. ‘Did you hire a car?’
‘Nah,’ he answered. ‘I got a taxi.’
She sat down at the table and watched him eat. She was dying to know more, but something stopped her from pushing for information.
He took a bite of toast and smiled. ‘You make good toast,’ he said, winking. ‘I’m surprised. I remember your cooking.’
‘My infamous pesto chicken?’ She gave him an arch look. ‘I’ve expanded my skills, I’ll have you know.’
‘I can see that,’ he said with a serious expression. ‘As I said, this toast is awesome.’
She giggled.
He sipped his coffee and regarded her lazily. ‘You’re so pretty,’ he said in a husky voice.
She could barely breathe. She was dying to know why he was here. Eventually he spoke again.
‘I went back to New York and I was so mad that –’
‘I’m sorry about that,’ she interrupted.
‘Will you quit saying that?’ He scowled. ‘I was so mad because you didn’t tell me how you felt.’
‘How could I tell you?’ she protested. ‘You’re engaged.’
He glared at her. ‘Can you let me speak?’
She slumped back in her chair.
‘I went back to New York,’ he began again. ‘I told Char that I had to hook up with some buddies, but instead I went to Mimi’s for a few days.’ He sipped his coffee again. ‘Then I realised that I had to be with you, that nothing else mattered. I packed my bag and left.’
‘What?’ she gasped. ‘Did you tell anyone?’
‘I texted Char and said that I needed space. I didn’t tell her where I was going.’
‘What did she say?’ Lydia’s eyes were wide.
‘I don’t know. I’ve like a million missed calls on my cell. I’ve got talk to her of course. I guess I wanted to see you first.’
Lydia didn’t know how to respond to that. His family were probably frantic. She looked up to find his unfaltering blue eyes looking at her. He was waiting for her to speak: for confirmation.
She could see that he wanted honesty; she had to say what was in her heart.
‘My feelings haven’t changed,’ she said finally. ‘I suppose I was always in love with you, I just didn’t know it.’ She picked up a crust on his plate and crumbled it with her fingers. ‘I dreamed about you a lot when I was in Paris. I would always wake up with a longing, a pain in my chest, because I knew that I’d lost you.’
He reached out and grasped her hand. ‘It took me a long time to forget you, Lyd. When I met Char, I was just getting my life back together.’
‘I understand that,’ she said quietly. ‘What will she say when you tell her that you’re here?’
‘We’ll tell her together.’
She dropped the crust. ‘What?’
‘You have to come back to New York with me. I want us to be together: all the time. No more messing around. I want to hold your hand in public, I want to hang out with your dad and I want to be in the family photos. I don’t want to be that guy in the background, the secret you don’t want people to know about. Hey, we can even link our Facebook profiles if you want.’ He grabbed her shoulders and forced her to look at him. ‘We can face them together. It’ll be tough but we can do it.’
She wasn’t so sure. She remembered his mother. They hadn’t got off to the best of starts when she’d visited Luca in Cork. Not to mention Charlotte, who would be heartbroken. Imagine being dumped a few weeks before your wedding? It was unthinkable. He seemed to have no concept of the damage it would cause. The chaos. All the wedding plans that would be cancelled, the anger and hurt. H he would probably be disowned.
Did this kind of thing happen in the real world? Did brides get jilted at the altar? It was like a bad soap opera. She looked into his eyes. He seemed to be saying: We’re in this together, we can do this, you are not alone.
That made her feel better. As long as they were together, everything would be okay, wouldn’t it? Sure, things would be awful for a while but then it would settle.
He shouldn’t marry Charlotte if he loved another woman. That would be wrong. They were doing the right thing.
But it was all so surreal. He was here, sitting in her kitchen, drinking out of her dad’s favourite mug. Her morning swim seemed like weeks ago.
He coughed, bringing her back to earth. ‘I want to see your room. I’ve never been up there.’ He held out his hand and she got to her feet.
He led her out into the hall, his blue eyes staring into hers. Adrenaline pumped through her body.
‘Now that I’ve had some food, I’ve got energy again.’ He started to mount the stairs.
They reached the top.
‘Last door on the right,’ she said softly.
They didn’t make it that far. He pulled her into his arms and kissed her thoroughly. She moulded herself to him, bending backwards as he deepened his kiss. His hands roamed around her body, pressing her to him, caressing every curve.
‘I couldn’t stop thinking about you,’ he said roughly. ‘When I got back to America, I wanted this so bad.’
She said nothing. She didn’t have to. He understood that she felt the same way. She pulled off her top and stood in front of him, naked from the waist up. He reached out and cupped her breasts, fingering the nipples with his thumb gently.
She moaned and threw her head back, urging him closer. He yanked down her pants and dropped to his knees, burying his face in her groin. She clutched his hair and let out a cry as he trailed his tongue up her inner thigh.
Suddenly they heard a phone ring in the kitchen.
‘Lyd,’ he whispered hoarsely.
‘Keep going!’ she gasped, pulling him closer.
‘I think I can hear your cell.’
‘It’s only Colin, ignore it.’
The phone rang incessantly, stopped for a moment and then recommenced its annoying interruption.
Luca pulled back and got to his feet. ‘As much as I’m enjoying this, that cell phone is driving me nuts.’
Lydia grabbed his hand and marched down to her room.
‘Ignore it,’ she repeated, her eyes glittering. Banging the door shut, she pushed him onto her bed. ‘Now, where were we?’
Chapter 37
They fell asleep entwined and woke around eight that evening. Lydia sat up, feeling disorientated. It was still bright outside and for a moment she didn’t know where she was. Luca was sprawled diagonally across the bed. His skin was brown and smooth – she reached out and stroked it.
She still couldn’t believe that he was here. That he flew in from New York to be with her. That he gave up his fiancée to sleep in her bed. She couldn’t cope with the rollercoaster of feelings that flooded her body. One minute she was elated, hugging herself in delight, the next she was devastated, nervous about what was to come. She felt sick to her stomach at the thought of meeting Charlotte.
She shuddered. It would have to bring bad karma.
Luca stirred and reached out for her. ‘Lyd,’ he mumbled. ‘Come here.’
She nestled into his arms, luxuriating in the war
mth he emitted. When he was holding her like this, nothing else mattered. It all made sense. She would have to stay strong and stand with him. Together, they would get through it.
‘Your hair smells so nice,’ he murmured, kissing her head. ‘I love your room, by the way.’
She laughed. ‘It’s a tip. Look at that pile of clothes over there. I was about to do a wash when you arrived.’
‘Liar,’ he said, cuddling her.
‘I was!’ she argued. ‘Well, after my shower,’ she added.
They lay in silence for a while, breathing in unison. She threaded her fingers in his and tried to avoid negative thoughts. It was impossible. Charlotte filled her head constantly.
‘Luca,’ she whispered.
‘Yeah?’
‘We have to tell Charlotte. I mean, you have to ring home and tell them where you are.’
‘Tomorrow,’ he answered, yawning.
She felt like shaking him. Men could just blot things out so easily; they were so black and white.
‘Luca!’ she said sharply. ‘We have to talk about this. Otherwise I can’t deal with us being together.’
That got his attention. ‘Alright, alright, I’m up. Talk to me.’ He sat up straight.
‘What are you going to say to Charlotte?’
His face looked pained at the mention of her name. ‘I’m not sure,’ he answered eventually. ‘I’ve got to tell her the truth. I just don’t know how to start. She doesn’t know about us.’
‘She’ll be so shocked and angry.’
He nodded. ‘I know, but I’ve got to be honest. I can’t be with her because I’m in love with you.’
Now she grabbed his shoulders and really did shake him. ‘Do you mean that? Really? I mean, you have to be sure.’ She waited in anticipation for his answer.
‘I’m sure,’ he said, pulling her close. ‘For some reason, I think about you all the time. I love your laugh, the way you talk, your body, your eyes. I love your walk, your lips, your hair. I want to be with you and no one else. You are my true love. Now, do you believe me?’
She looked deeply into his eyes. He looked deadly serious.
‘I do,’ she answered, kissing him. ‘I believe you.’
‘You’ve got to get a travel permit to enter the US.’
“Oh? How do I do that?’
‘We’ll apply online tonight.” He kissed her nose. ‘It could take a couple of days to go through.’
He held her close, his bare skin against hers.
‘Let’s stay here for a few days,’ he suggested. ‘Cut ourselves off from the world. Let’s just be together and be happy. Then we can face reality. What do you say?’
She smiled broadly. ‘That sounds great,’ she said, really meaning it.
The next day dawned bright and sunny. The blue sea sparkled under its rays and a light breeze blew. Lydia rang her neighbour Trudie and asked her if she could borrow her little sailing boat for the day. It was on the pier in Baltimore and was perfect for two people to take out on the water.
Lydia had done countless sailing courses when she was younger. Every July, she would sail with the local club, heading out on the water every day with her friends. Now, as an adult, she didn’t get to sail as much as she would like. Trudie, who worked at the sailing club, always had a boat available.
They walked down to the village. The fuchsia bushes were adorned with red-and-purple flowers, the symbol of West Cork. Children, dressed in wetsuits with red-and-white striped bags, overtook them en route to the sailing club.
Trudie met them at the village square and handed Lydia the sails and the bung. She was a small woman in her late forties, dressed in shorts and a T-shirt. Her short black hair was flecked with grey and her skin was tanned from sailing in the open air. ‘South-westerly wind today,’ she said smiling. ‘Have fun.’
They trudged down the hill to the slipway and rigged the boat. Lydia picked up the trailer to launch, but Luca took it from her grasp.
‘That’s heavy,’ he said pushing her gently away. ‘I got it.’
‘Oh, please,’ she mocked. ‘I’m stronger than you think.’
‘Can you just let me be chivalrous?’
In no time at all, they were out on the sea, the wind whipping through their hair as they picked up speed. Lydia took the helm initially, as she knew the harbour well. Luca lounged at the bow of the boat, trailing his finger in the water as they moved. There wasn’t a sound except for the lapping of the waves as the boat cut through the water.
‘The sea is cold here,’ he observed, shielding his eyes from the sun.
She nodded in agreement. ‘It’s freezing but when you swim in it you feel so alive.’
He watched her expertly pull in the rope and angle the sail to catch the most wind.
‘You’re pretty good at this,’ he said, impressed.
‘I was going to suggest that we swap,’ she answered, leaning out to balance the boat.
‘No,’ he said, settling back comfortably. ‘I’m happy here.’
They sailed out of the harbour and around the local islands. The sea twinkled under the glare of the sun.
At one stage, the ferry passed on its way to the neighbouring island of Sherkin and their boat nearly capsized from the turbulent backwash.
‘Whoa!’ shouted Luca, steadying himself. ‘That was close. I sure as hell don’t want to get wet.’
‘Wuss!’ laughed Lydia.
They continued on for a while, waving at boats as they sped past. Suddenly, Luca spotted a small sandy beach and pointed enthusiastically.
‘Want to stop for a while?’
She nodded. ‘Let’s tack then. Ready?’
He bent his head down to avoid the swinging boom as the boat turned. It wobbled precariously for a moment, but then righted itself. It was a straight run in to the beach, so she let the wind do its job and pulled up the centre-board at the last minute.
Luca hopped out and hauled the boat up onto the beach. Lydia took off her shoes and stepped out onto the sand which was warm under her feet.
‘Do you want some cream for your face?’ she asked, squirting some onto her palm. ‘I have to wear it all the time as I’m so pale.’
He shook his head. ‘I’m cool.’
He surveyed the landscape. It was an uninhabited island with ruins of farmhouses from the old days. It was overgrown and wild; the cliffs were ragged from battling the elements. It had faced the wrath of the Atlantic many times and this history was carved into its rocks.
‘You sure live in a beautiful place,’ he concluded after taking it all in. ‘When I think of Ireland, I think of magic. Did I ever tell you that?’
She shook her head.
‘I always imagined you as some kind of Celtic goddess. You know, I associated you with the wildness of this land.’ He blushed. ‘I mean, that’s my artist’s impression, I guess. It’s pretty dumb.’
She wrapped her arms around his neck. ‘So does the reality live up the fantasy?’ She gave him a hot look.
‘Totally.’
They kissed each other hungrily and she luxuriated in the softness of his hair as she ran her fingers through it. It was ridiculous how he made her feel. It was like her legs went to jelly when he touched her. It was a terrible cliché, but such an apt description.
She pulled back. ‘Let’s go for a swim. You have to experience it.’
‘You think?’ He didn’t look too sure.
‘Come on,’ she coaxed, pulling off her top suggestively.
He watched her strip down to her black bikini and run into the clear sea. She dived in and resurfaced, throwing her hair back and rubbing the water from her eyes. Lifting her arms into the air, she screamed in delight.
‘It’s exhilarating! Come on!’
‘Okay, you got it,’ he said, pulling off his top. Without thinking, he threw himself into the cold water and gasped as the temperature plummeted. For a second, he thought he would pass out but lots of movement helped his body regulate itself.
> She had swum a little further out and was waiting for him to join her. Diving under the water, a few powerful strokes brought him to where she was and he grabbed her by the waist.
‘Holy shit, it’s cold,’ he said, shaking the seawater from his hair.
‘Don’t be such a wuss,’ she said playfully, kissing his collarbone. There was something free about being in water.
Standing, he picked her up easily and she wrapped her legs around his waist.
She could feel he was aroused. ‘That’s pretty good going,’ she said, putting her hand inside his shorts. ‘In Arctic conditions and all.’
He grinned. ‘What can I say? I’m a love machine.’
They kissed again.
‘You are so sexy,’ he groaned, rubbing her back.
He entered her – as she weighed practically nothing, it was easy to manage. Making love in the sea was a different experience. Lydia rocked to and fro, clinging to him tightly.
‘This is so hot,’ he gasped, thrusting as hard as he could, despite the instability.
‘Are you still cold?’ she asked, breathing heavily.
He buried his face in her chest. ‘I want us to be together forever,’ he murmured.
What did he say? Her heart rate increased.
‘What?’ she said breathlessly.
‘I said, I want to be with you forever.’ He lifted his head and stared at her unabashed.