Vivian heard her words, but could not move. Her eyes bore into the back of her husband, waiting for him to turn around and look at her, to reassure her that Meribel was crazy and talking crazy. But he wouldn’t turn around. ‘Why? Why did she say that Jake? Turn around and defend yourself. What is she talking about? Is it all nonsense or does she know something?’ Vivian’s mind was working now. Right away the seeds Meribel tossed her way landed and took root. After all, Vivian was filled with fertile soil. As things stood, to be honest with herself, she didn’t honestly trust Jake 100% anyway. So now, her mind was cooking, figuring, thinking, playing back and deeply digging, especially into those days he left for his deliveries. Out on the road all alone - leaving her home and unaware of what was happening while he was out there. Vivian turned into the house unwilling to wait any longer for her husband to turn to her. For the time being, she was on fire, angry and oh yeah, hot! Why - why is it that when people found their world falling apart, they had to make sure, someone else’s was doing the same? Misery loves company - and at that moment, Vivian didn’t care if Meribel did lose her mind - she was done with her. What had she done to her to deserve this dropped at her door?
Shanna was standing next to Jake, it took her a moment to click into the zone of what had just happened because of Meri to Vivian and Jake. She looked up at her brother, noticing the look on his face. She wanted to say something, but the words got caught in her throat - she couldn’t bring them out - because she feared what she might hear, or see in his eyes. Instead she shook her head and stepped down off the porch heading for her car.
As for Jake, he made the wrong decision. Instead of going into the house and trying to fix things, Meribel put him in a rotten mood so that he stepped off the porch as well and headed for his truck, deciding to do some overtime that day after all. There were things that needed doing, he might as well work off the energy. He stepped backward against the screen door and yelled into the house, “I’m going into work - pick up some extra overtime.”
Hearing him from upstairs, Vivian tried to rush down and to the door - but it was just in time to see him climb into his truck.
“What time are you going to be home?!” She yelled towards the departing vehicle.
He pretended that he hadn’t heard - he wasn’t sure what time he would be home.
Chicago
Paul had driven off knowing he’d miss his family, however - he had other heavy thoughts on his mind. Front, center and foremost, Jackie Pemberton! He hadn’t heard anything from her, and he wasn’t about to head off to school without stopping and checking on her, just to see how she was doing. He wasn’t crazy, although his father might call him that. After all, he’d sent her letter after letter as well money - and nothing. He didn’t care - he knew why she was avoiding him, it wasn’t like she hadn’t been honest with him from the start. This was all him showing her, that he meant all that he said. This was him proving that he wasn’t like anyone else that she knew. This was him backing up every word that he’d said. He wanted her to divorce her husband and get with him. Was that right? Of course not. His family would sit him down and have a good old talk with him about what was in his heart. His family and upbringing was surrounding the bible. This back in the days of old would get him stoned what he was doing, thinking and wanting. But that man, didn’t deserve her. They meshed, jived - were in sync.
He couldn’t help himself, so he shook those thoughts for now. Truth was, for the time being there was nothing more happening with him and Jackie. Considering that, he would cross that bridge if his life took him there. For the moment, he just wanted to see her again. See what was going on since they were last together. Had she used the money? Was she saving it to use later? Had she filed for divorce? While that was what he wanted her to do with it most of all, he knew that she would put needs first. If there were needs for the kids or herself, then she will have more than likely used the money for that. Then his mind went where he didn’t want it to go, towards her current husband. What if something happened and he’d been released early? If he remembered correctly, his time was for a year more when they’d been together, so now, some months had gone by since then. What if time away had changed him? What if he was a better man who had learned his lesson? What if he realized what a treasure he had with his wife, his kids and wanted a second chance to do better. Paul hated thinking those things. He didn’t want to be fair, right and just. He wanted Jackie - period! He sighed as he drove, coming through the last toll crossing to enter Illinois, it wouldn’t be long before he was at her place. He was feeling a slight pain of doubt. It wasn’t the first time that he doubted himself. He knew he should stop and turn away - just leave it, as she’d asked him to. Yet, no matter how he worked to talk himself out of the idea of her - of them, together as a couple, he ended up feeling that need to be a part of her life. He couldn’t see anyone else in his future - but then, perhaps he was short sighted because of her.
What he did see that was working against them was - their age difference. To him, it was the bigger problem besides the fact that she was still attached, married - and her refusal to see they might have a wondrous future together. As for him, he couldn’t give up on them, not yet. He saw their lives down the road coming together where they would be as one. He saw it all, possibilities that could be for them if he would just stick to his guns and build something stable for them.
That’s what men did.
Built a place and world for the women of their dreams. So build he would. She couldn’t see what he saw yet because she was shrouded in the world she’d become accustomed to.
He would fix her vision.
He would fix how she viewed life.
He would fix how she saw the world.
That had become Paul’s mission in life. No one would talk him out of it, not even himself, or his occasional doubts and conscience. Because of his inborn great sense of direction, he made quick work whipping around Chicago to get to his destination. It was late afternoon, as he drove down the block he’d become familiar with - he saw a few people out and about, but no familiar faces. Glad to see a clear and open parking spot in front of Jackie’s house, he pulled right into it. Cutting the engine, he gazed around for a bit using the time to muster his nerves for what he might encounter at the door. Sucking in a deep breath, he pulled his keys and got out, locking and slamming the door closed.
He was dressed casually in jeans, a long sleeved polo shirt pushed up to his elbows and air Jordan’s. His hair had grown a bit longer since she last saw him, he needed a shave and his sideburns were long almost connecting to his stubble. He was definitely showing up with a college look about him. His build was not as tall as his father’s and brother’s - however, he was built on the lines of a gymnastic - firm, tight, strong and tone - along with a nice size butt to fill his jeans. By no means was he lacking. In fact, he was quite attractive in his own rights. He was tall enough at 5’10. A couple of girls sitting on a porch a few doors down from Jackie’s couldn’t help but notice him - talk about good looking. To his embarrassment, they were vocalizing their pleasure in his presence - one even sang out, “Ooh ya’sho stacked in the back, gone have to thank your mother, for a butt like that!” They all burst into laughter and giggles. His face burned red on the spot, yet he was grinning and to be honest, flattered. Forcing himself to ignore them, he rang Jackie’s bell.
He took several deep breaths, thinking about the first time he stood at her door. He’d been coming to give her any assistance he could, now here he stood, in love with her. Would she come to the door? Once there, would she let him in? Right on the end of that thought, the door came open. She must have peaked out at him, because she wouldn’t even open the door all the way. In fact, she hid behind it, sort of speak, to keep him out. Unable to deny the obvious, he was a bit hurt by it.
“Hi…” Was all he could get out for the moment. She was still as lovely as ever, but - a little fuller in the face - as if she’d gained a bit of weight, not much - but sh
e wasn’t as sleek as he remembered her. Evenso, he was still happy to see her.
Jackie took a long deep breath. Unable to resist him, she gave him a small smile, “Hi Paul, what are you doing here?”
His smile brightened, “On my way to school - wanted to check on you before I settled in there.”
She only nodded, but wasn’t stepping back to open the screen and let him in.
“Can I come in?” He finally asked.
She started off shaking her head and then following it up, “No Paul - you can’t come in. I don’t think it’s a good idea.”
“Why not?”
“You know why not.”
He sighed, “You get my letters?”
“Yes I did,” she nodded, “The money as well. I haven’t spent any of it, would you like it back?”
“No! Use it - for whatever you wish - or - a divorce maybe?”
“Unfortunately it’s not enough, you’d be amazed at how much it costs to un-hitch yourself.”
“How much more do you need?”
“Don’t worry about it, you won’t be sending me anymore money. Look Paul - I was hoping that by my not writing you back, you would stop - get the message and move on.”
“I love you.”
“You’re too young to be in love with me. I’m too old for you to be in love with - what happened between us should have never happened, I knew better - but I was being foolish. Now I have-…” She stopped - shaking her head, daring not to say anything more.
“What, what were you going to say?” He was looking at the top of her head, as she was staring at the floor thinking, and then looking up at him, she got really serious. “I - I’m going to need the money you sent me. But - if you wish it back, I’ll give it back.”
“Keep the money! I don’t care about the money - is that what you were going to say?”
She nodded, then, “Yes - that is. I - I have things going on that I can’t involve you in. Go to school Paul - go!”
“Is it him, is he back? Is he getting out? Tell me what’s going on?” Paul’s hands went up gripping the frame of her door almost pressing into the screen to see her closer.
“No… not yet. I just don’t want any repeats Paul. My kids aren’t here, and I don’t wanna let you in.”
“Why? You don’t trust me? What do you think I’ll do?”
“It’s not you, it’s me. Now - respect me, and what I’ve decided - and leave.”
He stood a few moments breathing deep, hurt to be rejected by her now that he was there. “Just like that?”
“Yes… just like that! I told you Paul, I told you.”
They stood staring at each other for a few moments and Paul suddenly stepped away, spun and trotted down her steps quickly to get away from her as if he didn’t trust himself. His mind went into chaos over everything he wanted concerning her. Her cool refusal made him feel foolish. Like he was being stupid, childish, and a young dreamer out of his mind for his first love. He unlocked his car door, snatched it open, jumped in and didn’t stop to look at her again. He started up the bug, shifted it into gear and took off away from there and her.
Jackie closed her door, turning she fell beside it, putting her back to the wall groaning, “God, what a mess. Why did I mess with that boy? I knew better God, I knew better. I should have given him his money back - but - I need it, right now - I need it.” She had a lot of thinking to do. Mainly speaking … give it up - or give it away. Giving it up, she could not bring herself to do such a thing, not to something that had come from him - so her only other alternative, was give it away. Her forehead fell into her hand with a groan of despair.
“You so stupid Jackie, you so stupid, you too old to have done something so stupid.” For the hundredth time, she murmured to herself, “You got no one to blame but yourself.”
Wisconsin - Bart & Gert’s Farmhouse…
Bart came in from the fields to find that his wife was home. He was bringing in the last of his crops, and needed a break to get something to eat. Usually she was home to fix him breakfast, but nothing this morning. So, he’d made due with a cup of coffee. Hopefully he’d go in and find something wonderful smelling up the house, something of his favorites. Entering, he immediately noted there were no scents filling the air to tantalize his taste buds. Fact, kitchen was empty - and from there, he walked about the rest of the house to find her nowhere downstairs. Heading upstairs, he went straight to their bedroom, and there is where he found her. In bed, by all appearances, she was knocked out. He stood in the doorway surprised that she was sleeping. He waited a moment watching her to see if she was actually out, or maybe lying down because she wasn’t feeling well. After a moment he walked over and felt her head. No fever. That meant she was tired. Clearly she’d been up late with Mama Jojo - because she was sound asleep there.
His mind was full of questions he was impatient to ask. However, he was going to have to wait on her to wake up, no way around it - he wasn’t willing to shake her awake. He crept quietly back to the door and made a silent exit closing it behind him.
Gert’s tired eyes cracked open for a brief moment, sighing in relief - she turned over, badly needing some sleep. She wanted to cry. Unfortunately, she couldn’t work up the slightest bit of moisture. Forcing its way out of her, a long yawn which did bring some moisture to her eyes, but not enough to give her the relief that crying would give. In either case, when she woke, she would still be facing a rehashing of the past with her husband surrounding their first born. After him, facing her first born with what seemed to be a family curse, perhaps started by her act against her son, against Bart, against Edwin, against his father Jacob Edward. Her son had undergone the same thing via Christine concerning Ben. She couldn’t help but wonder if she was the one who set it all into motion, for it to continue until she cleaned it up once and for all. There were three men whom she owed the truth to, one had passed horrifically a long time ago. But Bart, Shawn and Jacob Edward, they were still very much alive. Her eyes felt gritty, burning - but her mind would not turn it loose so she could sleep. Even so, she wasn’t moving until she had at the very least, a few hours.
Downstairs, Bart had no choice but to rustle himself up some grub. Staring into the refrigerator he could hardly see what there was to fix for thinking about what might be going on around him. He hadn’t lived all of these years and served in the military to miss that there was something in the air - something that would affect him, perhaps those in his family as well. With a certainty, it all surrounded Mama Jojo - that he knew. Finally, he reached in and grabbed the log of German salami and the block of sharp cheddar cheese. From the cabinet, he took out a package of saltines, his carving knife and made his way back out to the pole barn. There, he would do what he always did, think and wait.
Shawn’s & Sylvia’s…
The house was slowly coming to life. Shawn made brunch because Sylvia would be in bed a while longer. She’d had a restless night, something from the spread the night before didn’t agree with her. Acid reflux and heartburn had her up searching out baking soda to calm it. Left alone to get her lost rest, her husband picked up doing what he did well, seeing about his family.
With the smell of freshly cooked food in the air, Shawn could always depend on Mundo to show up first. Sure enough, he heard the basement door closing as he danced towards the kitchen and family room, as if coming down the middle of the Soul Train line. “Ah yeah, snap… just what I was thinking, father knows best! You keep this up, you gone get that daddy of the year award, I’ah tell’ya that now. Oh man, platta plate, platta plate - I’m hungry too!” Mundo sang out going for literally that, a platter plate to make sure he got a little of everything.
Shawn was leaning back against the counter, grinning and sipping coffee, “Eat up, you know me, I always make more than enough.”
“Yes, yes and not a thang going to waste, you can believe that. You eat yet?” Mundo asked while piling his plate up.
“Pretty much,” Shawn lowered his steaming
coffee to answer.
“I can’t believe everybody still in bed, I’m usually the last to rise.” Mundo admitted picking over the choice pieces of bacon, a couple of waffles, smeared on a big dab of softened butter, scrambled eggs to the side, and on top fresh strawberries, blueberries, and to seal it all - pure maple syrup right from the farm. They had loads of it from Bart’s and Gert’s. In Mundo’s opinion, the best maple syrup to be found. His mouth watering from anticipation had him dancing and bopping - because life was good. Heading for the table he listened to Shawn refresh his memory on the night’s events.
“I don’t know how much you picked up, but - last night was a bit unusual - something weird happened. I have a feeling the women are holding out on me.”
“Ha! Since when not?” Mundo mumbled, talking with his mouth full, “Hmmm, Mama Jojo and yo’mom’s right? Yeah, that was fo’sho some Nancy Drew happenin’s. Hey, even I know just when you think you know women, you fin’ out - you’on know nothin’ at all. It’s all front, all fishin’ tackles and lures, nothing real! Just enough to lure you in.” He never stopped eating, “Dad, cruise me some of that link sausage please? Can’t believe I left off the sausage - done lost my mind.”
Shawn wasn’t paying him any attention other than loading 4 links on a small plate for him, walking them to the table so he could transfer them to his plate, for Mundo to pop the last in his mouth. “Thanks dad, love me some of these lil’sausages man, breakfast ain’t breakfast-…”
“Brunch, this is brunch son…” Shawn corrected him, walking back to the counter to pour himself more coffee.
“Call it what you want, long as we got link sausages baby.”
“Good morning,” Crystal entered the family room with her boys, Angela bringing up the rear. Saturday mornings were meant to be slow days, late rise days - but she’d put off getting up and going home long enough. Victor would be in a mood when she got there, there was no sense in making it worse by going home later than it already ready was.
Beauty of Man and Woman - Volume 13: Bomaw Page 27