by Dawn Ryder
When Saxon looked back toward her, his expression was tight.
“Thank you.”
The morning sunlight flashed off a head of copper hair as a woman appeared. “Don’t growl at her,” the woman admonished him. “She just saved your bacon.”
The woman held a baby that was sucking on its fist. “He was supposed to be watching Max while I fed the baby.”
“No problem,” Jaelyn replied. “I seem to have time on my hands.”
The woman let out a groan. “Careful, I’m a woman on the edge. Talk like that and I am going to bawl like a demented fool until you take pity on me and save me from the realities of having two kids under two.”
“Jaelyn can cook,” Dare Servant said as he came around the house. He was dressed in jeans and a T-shirt, clearly ready to join the construction crew.
“Ginger, it would be best—”
“Hush.” Ginger cut Saxon off as she moved over and handed the baby to Jaelyn. She went back toward her husband and lifted Max out of his arms.
“They aren’t going to be here long.” Saxon got his thought out even as his wife faced him down.
“Have a good day at the office, dear.” Ginger wiggled her fingers in a little wave that earned her a raised eyebrow from Saxon.
Dare was choking on his amusement. He slapped Saxon on the shoulder. “Come on, boss man. We have to go now if we’re going to beat the traffic.”
Saxon turned his attention toward Dare.
“Okay,” Dare said as he lifted his hands in surrender. “Truth is, I just hate when you get kicked out and have to bunk in the barracks with us.”
Saxon started to flip Dare the bird but a low clearing of the throat from his wife made him close his fist tight. He leaned down and kissed her but shot Jaelyn a hard look over her shoulder before he and Dare took off around the boulder fence.
“He shot you the look, didn’t he?” Ginger asked when they were alone.
“It was sort of cute,” Jaelyn replied as she moved toward the woman.
Ginger made a snorting sound but she ended up smiling. “He is sort of adorable.” Max was wiggling. “Guess that’s why I agreed to have his children. Come on in. I’m not too proud to admit I am dying for some female companionship.”
* * *
“I expected your call before now, son,” Colonel Bryan Magnus said.
Bram indulged himself with a roll of his eyes because his father couldn’t see it. “Dad—”
“I know,” Bryan said, cutting him off. “You don’t like me dropping rank in the middle of your life, makes me proud of you to see you wanting to earn your own place.”
“That isn’t going to work this time, Dad,” Bram grumbled. “The compliment distraction technique.”
There was a crusty chuckle on the other end of the line.
“You’ve marooned a good family with this maneuver,” Bram said.
Bryan Magnus wasn’t repentant in the least. If anything, he was laughing harder. Bram felt the edges of the cell phone cutting into his fingers because he was gripping it so tightly.
“Now that they’re here,” Bram said, cutting through his father’s mirth, “getting them settled is going to prove nearly impossible.”
“Son. A Shadow Ops team specializes in the impossible.”
His dad always did have a way of changing to suit the moment with whiplash speed.
“I am right,” the colonel added. “You don’t like it, but the only option for keeping them completely safe was to take them onto that compound. Anything else would have left a trail. A faint one, but tracks nonetheless. I’m not arrogant enough to think otherwise.”
Bram bit back a word of profanity. He was pacing, something he only allowed himself to do because there was no one watching him.
“Besides, seems a closer look at just who Milton Sondors is has me thinking it just might have been meant to be.”
“Meant to be?” Bram said with a growl. “Their life is shredded because of me. I should have listened to you and broken it off with LeAnn a long time ago.”
“You went back for the other one, son.”
His dad’s tone had turned serious.
“I know,” Bram responded. “And it was a slipup on my part. Jaelyn deserves a man who hasn’t got the sort of dirt on his hands as I do. I’m suddenly very clear as to just why Kagan hasn’t offered me a badge. I’ve been hugging the fence.”
“Kagan makes sure his agents are fully seasoned before offering badges. You’ve proved your worth and I know he sees it. As for the girl, I think she’s got a stiffer backbone than you give her credit for.”
“Maybe I don’t have the right to make her prove herself.”
“That moment is long past, son.” His father spoke softly.
It was.
Bram didn’t vocalize his thought.
No, there was something very personal about his feelings for Jaelyn. His dad signed off, leaving him standing between Saxon Hale’s house and the construction site. He caught a glimpse of Jaelyn moving around in the kitchen.
She’d needed him last night.
Problem was, he was pretty sure he’d needed her even more.
He should have taken a hint from Dare and Thais. Realized that he had to choose between Shadow Ops and a woman like Jaelyn.
It was simply the responsible thing to do.
Fuck, he hated being objective at times.
Today he felt like it would tear something inside him to turn away from Jaelyn.
She could still be free.
She deserved his best and there was no way he was going to give her any less. A life attached to his dangerous choices wasn’t the best.
He wanted to give her more than a shackle to his side.
Somehow, he was going to have to find the strength to turn his back on her.
For her own good.
* * *
Everyone knew their place at the missile silo, or so it seemed to Jaelyn.
The men rose with the sun. Their conversation drifted on the morning breeze along with the scent of coffee. She caught sight of them in their green hard hats from the small kitchen window.
Cooking had been one of her joys.
Now? She tried to talk herself out of feeling angry over only having kitchen duty.
It wasn’t working so well.
Even knowing Ginger appreciated the much-needed sleep, Jaelyn found the walls closing in on her.
The real problem was Bram.
She grunted as she leaned on the counter later in the day. Her hands were chapped from dish washing and she was flatly sick of being grateful for the small bottle of hand lotion she’d had in her purse.
Yes, the real issue was Bram.
He hadn’t spoken to her.
It hurt. With all of the intensity her conscience had warned her it would. The problem was the last time he’d come to her.
And she was getting really tired of him casting looks her way, while remaining behind his stone-man expression.
Like you can do much of anything about it …
She didn’t care for how right her inner voice was. In fact, it nudged her just a little further down the road she’d been on, leaving her facing the fact that she was pretty pissed.
Fine, he hadn’t done anything she didn’t want herself.
And that had nothing to do with how she felt.
Bram came into sight, looking toward her. The afternoon sun hit his shades and Jaelyn felt her temper sizzle.
She balled up the dish towel she’d been using and chucked it at the far side of the counter. It hit with a less than satisfying soft sound. Jaelyn didn’t care, she was already heading toward the back door. The child lock gave her a moment’s frustration before she was striding across the yard and out onto the open grounds.
Bram had started to turn back toward the silo. He flipped around, ripping his shades off as he frowned at her.
“You don’t belong beyond the gate and you know it,” he said when she breezed past the last bould
er.
“Too bad.”
Bram wasn’t backing down. Not that Jaelyn cared. Once again, he inspired something inside her which totally ignored things like rules, composure, or politeness.
Nope. None of it mattered.
Only getting to him and taking what she wanted. Her breath was slightly agitated from the pace she’d set as she planted herself in front of him.
“You’ve been a lot of things, Bram Magnus, but I never thought of you as a chicken.”
Her statement hit him. She caught the glitter of it in his eyes.
“Don’t think you can sneak out of my bed and hide beyond a fence rule.”
He was looming over her a half second later, the space between them closed so his words didn’t carry. She heard the precision-sharp edge of his tone and didn’t budge.
“‘Chicken’ isn’t the word, Jaelyn. It’s ‘bastard.’” He grabbed her upper arms when she started to recoil from the self-loathing in his eyes. “You were in a tailspin last night. I knew it, and I took advantage of you.”
He held her still, watching the way his words soaked in.
“You should hate me,” he said. “Despise me, because I brought Gideon to you.”
Jaelyn flinched.
“Well, I don’t.”
And she was going to hold tight to that idea.
Somehow …
“You aren’t responsible for what a crazy creep does.”
She gained her release but stayed in place, unable to do anything that would separate them. He was like some sort of power source she needed to move forward. The only solid thing in her life.
* * *
“You’re making excuses for me.” His teeth were clenched and she realized it was with self-loathing. “Don’t. I willingly joined a type of life that doesn’t mix well with leaving any trace of personal interests. I let my guard down and you paid the price.”
“I thought Gideon was a contractor on your last deployment.”
Bram gave her a single nod. “He was. But it could have been worse. Much, much worse.” He drew in a deep breath. “I’m sorry, Jaelyn.”
“Shit happens.”
His lips twitched. It tickled her to know he enjoyed her cussing.
He liked her boldness …
“Glad to know we’re on the same page,” he retorted. “Now get back to your restricted zone. It’s going to be a few weeks before you can be resettled.”
“We haven’t talked about us yet,” Jaelyn informed him.
“There’s nothing to say,” he said, cutting her off. “Gideon might have been linked to my last deployment, but it was just lucky for me he wasn’t someone related to my work with Shadow Ops. There can’t be any ‘us.’”
He started to turn away from her and it felt like he was being ripped off of her. The sting was unbearable. She lunged after him, catching a handful of his shirt.
Something snapped inside him. He was turning, catching her wrist and twisting her arm up behind her back. It flattened her against his hard body, sending a thrill of anticipation through her, even as the flare of determination in his eyes chilled her blood.
“See me for what I am, Jaelyn,” he said with a growl. “You deserve better.”
“I want you.”
She was hissing, feeling like the words were escaping instead of merely being spoken. That thing inside of her, the one he seemed to awaken, wasn’t going to allow her to let him push her away.
“Because you’re dealing with the mental trauma of being a captive.”
He was tempering his tone now. It infuriated her because he was taking too much guilt on his shoulders. She let out a growl as she struggled. The burst of rage caught Bram by surprise. For a moment, his grip tightened painfully.
But he was spinning her loose a second later, cussing under his breath because he knew he’d hurt her.
“Don’t you ever dismiss me as not being able to deal with what life throws at me,” she said, snarling at him.
“I’m stepping up to take responsibility for my actions,” he retorted.
Duty was more ingrained in him than any other man she’d ever met. It was what made Bram the pillar of strength she was drawn to. But it was also the immovable object he was placing between them.
“I don’t want your pity,” she said firmly, finally succeeding in forcing her feet to move.
Bram reached out and caught her upper arm. Once more she felt her insides tighten as he stepped up so close, she could smell his skin.
“I’m not a good guy,” he said in a raspy voice. “Look at what I’ve done to your family.”
He let out a grunt and released her. There was a glitter of self-loathing in his eyes.
A new pain snaked through her. It deflated her anger because now, she was mad on his behalf. “Yes, I know what you did, and it’s time to stop crying over spilled milk. Time to build a new life. This looks like a great place for a glassblowing shop. LeAnn and I actually did it together.”
He was recoiling from her, retreating, and she reached for him once more. He caught her hand, twisting her wrist over just enough so that her arm locked up and she was unable to move closer to him.
“Do you know how much I want to ask you to marry me? Right here, knowing I’m a bastard?” He released her hand and held his up in surrender. “It’s all I can do to keep my distance so you can cut the tie between us and have a shot at … well, something more than what Ginger has. Circumstances conspired against her. I’m not going to be the one who forced you into a life of waiting on my life and hoping it doesn’t rear its ugly head and kill you.”
She heard the gravel crunching beneath his boots as he started to walk away. Time had slowed down, trapping her in that moment with all of the swirling emotions being near him unleashed. There was no comprehension beyond the sure knowledge that he meant what he said. He didn’t feel worthy of her.
Which only made her absolutely certain he was.
“Yes.”
Her voice carried.
She realized Saxon and Vitus were watching them, clearly there in case they needed to intervene.
“Yes … I will marry you,” Jaelyn repeated loud and clear.
Bram had turned to look at her. He froze, his body stiff. It took only a moment before Saxon and Vitus heard her. The two agents drew up tighter as well, watching to see what Bram was going to do.
“You can’t mean that.”
The shock in Bram’s voice made her smile. She crooked her finger at him and he came, looking just as desperate to be near her as she craved being next to him.
“Take a good look, Bram Magnus, do I look like I’m kidding?”
* * *
Bram searched her dark eyes. Damn if he didn’t feel like he was being pulled into them by a mermaid. One of those insanely beautiful creatures who was actually far more fierce than her delicate exterior proclaimed.
That was Jaelyn, though.
Everything perfect and peaceful, yet beneath her surface was a woman of iron strength.
She reached up and grabbed a handful of his shirt and used it to pull him down. He sucked in his breath as she kissed him. He was so shocked, all he did was follow her lead, reeling from what she’d said and knowing she meant every word.
“See you after work, dear.”
And just like that, she turned and headed back toward the house.
He felt like his knees were going to give way, which was fitting because she cut him to the core every time she came near.
Marry her?
He’d let his thoughts slip past his control. Used his “outside” voice and there was no taking it back now.
The truth was, he didn’t want to.
Which left him in agony because the temptation to let her keep her word was almost too much for him.
Fuck.
His thoughts condensed into that single word, leaving him lost as to his next step.
Just … fuck.
* * *
“The church is fifteen miles down the
road, son.”
Bram looked up as Saxon whirled around. Milton Sondors was happily grinning at them and honestly, Bram had to hand it to the guy. He’d surprised them.
The term ‘sly fox’ came to mind and fit perfectly.
Milton was enjoying his victory, too. Bram realized, locked beneath the time-wrinkled skin was a man who had done a whole lot more than Bram gave him credit for. In fact, the guy could likely give Thais lessons on playing an assigned part. Milton was putting on a persona of the carefree old man and it blinded them all to just what was going on in his mind.
It seemed he’d discovered where Jaelyn got her tenacity, too.
“Mr. Sondors,” Saxon said. “This is a classified location.”
Milton let out a chuckle. “I’ve known that for a lot longer than you, son.”
Dare emerged from around a huge pile of old machinery they’d pulled out of the silo control center, clearly enjoying the way Milton was calling Saxon “son.”
“It’s been a long time…” Milton was talking to what had once been a systems control panel. He reached out and fingered one of the buttons.
Something Bram’s father had said suddenly rose from his memory.
A closer look at just who Milton Sondors is has me thinking it just might have been meant to be.
“Were you a Minute Man?” Bram asked incredulously.
Minute Men had staffed the silo in its days of operation. Servicemen who had been the last line of defense against a nuclear strike. They’d sat at their underground consoles and waited for orders to turn their launch keys and deploy the warhead that had once been located in the silo.
Milton was fingering the key slot in the console. He looked up at Bram, confidence shining in his eyes. “Well now, that would be classified information.”
“Fuck me,” Dare Servant muttered with a grin. “You play a little old man too damn well.”
Milton nodded. “Shouldn’t have to tell you boys that you didn’t invent cloak and dagger games, neither did my generation. There was a World War Two bunker here before the silo.” He shifted his attention to Bram. “I married my Jeanie in that church, so you’d best get down there and make an appointment. Seems my granddaughter is planning on holding you to your word. Don’t let her sweet exterior fool you, son. Jaelyn is just like her grandmother.” He made a punching motion. “Knows how to jab up under a man’s ribs.”