My entire body trembles. The past few days have been a nightmare. I had no idea what I would be coming home to when I left New York not even a week ago. "He doesn't know who I am, Buddy. It's as if we're strangers." I say the words out loud, but it's impossible to believe them. Colton and I have shared so much in our lifetimes. We have known each other since we were babies, but now I'm the only one who remembers our life together. He has no idea who I am. The notion is almost inconceivable.
"I know," Buddy murmurs. "Funny how life works sometimes. I never pictured a world where you and Colton weren't together in it. You guys were destined from the start." He sighs and shakes his head. "You shouldn't have left, Penny. I know you didn't have much choice in the matter, but you shouldn't have left."
"I know. I know," I repeat over and over again. I swallow hard past the lump forming in my throat. I couldn't have known what would happen while I was gone. My parents practically forced me to go to New York. I didn't want to go. I didn't want to leave Colton, but we had a plan. He called me every day, twice a day, sometimes more. And then he just…stopped. I had no idea why other than the lies my mama was spinning. But now I know the truth. I dash the tears from my eyes and make my best attempt at a smile, failing miserably in the process. "Well, thanks for helping me out, Buddy. I really appreciate it"
He nods once. "Sure thing." He walks to the front door. "I'll see you tomorrow, Penny."
The front door closes, and I listen to Buddy's footsteps disappear down the stairs. Our conversation replays in my mind a million times while I sit alone in the kitchen. My parents would have done anything to keep me in New York, to not ruin my so-called dreams. And so they told lies to keep me apart from my one true love all this time. If I had come back right after the accident, I could have been there for him. Maybe things would all be different now. I could have made him remember me and all the times we had together and how much we loved each other. But now that opportunity is gone, and I'll never get it back. And deep down I don't know if Colton will ever be able to forgive me.
I can't even forgive myself.
CHAPTER 3
PENNY
I'M STILL REELING from everything that has happened in the past forty-eight hours. My world has completely flipped upside down in the matter of a few days, and I don't know if it will ever right itself again. Colton has no idea who I am, but I'm still in love with him. If that doesn't sound like a tragic love story, I don't know what does. What do you do when the person you love doesn't love you back? Let them go? Let them move on without you? If only it were that easy. I can't make myself let Colton go. He means too much to me. Maybe with time, if I see that he's happy without me, I could part ways, but I'd have to make damn sure of that first.
I spend the day organizing and cleaning my new apartment. Buddy brings by my uniform and tells me that my shift starts at four. I thank him for the millionth time this week and continue unpacking and putting away my things. I'm in desperate need of groceries, and I make a mental note to go to the market down the road at some point tomorrow.
It's three o'clock when I decide to stop cleaning for the day. I'm feeling extremely nervous and anxious. I have new job jitters that almost everyone gets. And as if that wasn't bad enough, I finally try on the uniform…much to my dismay.
I stand in front of the bathroom mirror, gazing down at my new uniform. I'm not sure uniform is quite the term I would use for the scraps of material that are barely covering me right now. Crawford's Bar stretches across the front of the deep V tee that looks like it might be a 5T instead of a small, as indicated on the tag. Then the shorts are a whole other matter. I don't even think they can legally be called shorts considering they almost look like a pair of panties, cutting off right under my assets, so to speak. They show off my long, tanned legs, and I'm guaranteed to get a lot of tips, but I don't know if I feel comfortable wearing something that I'm not even sure I can bend over in.
Feeling frustrated, I blow a few strands of my hair out of my eyes and change into something more comfortable. Then I make my way downstairs to the bar to confront Buddy. "You call this a uniform?" I ask Buddy as I enter, holding up the scraps of material.
He stands in the doorway to the back room wearing a shit-eating grin. "You want the job? That's the required attire."
I narrow my eyes at him. "Where's your uniform?" I ask.
He looks down at his black t-shirt that has a Crawford's Bar logo on the chest, jeans and sneakers. "You're lookin' at it."
I mutter under my breath about him being a sexist pig. When he asks me what I said, I just flash him a big smile and say, "Nothing. You better be glad I need this job, Buddy Lawson." I turn and then throw over my shoulder, "I'll be back down later to start my shift."
He chuckles. "That's what I like to hear. See you in an hour, Penny."
Taking my time to get ready, I shower, shave my legs and curl my long hair into soft, loose waves. I apply some makeup and don the so-called uniform. I smile at my reflection in the mirror. Even though I look like I won a competition for the world's sluttiest bartender, I decide to rock that outfit like I own it. "Knock 'em dead, Penny," I tell myself before leaving my apartment.
* * * * *
COLTON
BUDDY CALLED ME earlier to let me know he hired a new bartender. Anxious to see exactly who it is, I go into the bar earlier than I'm scheduled to be there. I enter through the back of the bar, go through the storage room and lean against the doorjamb of the entrance to the main bar area. My eyes immediately settle on a petite blonde behind the counter. She's turned away from me and bent over restockin' one of the coolers. My eyes greedily peruse her tight body and her round ass that is barely contained in the tiny shorts. She has legs for days, and I could literally spend days starin' at her backside. Her long hair cascades down her back in soft waves, and I desperately want to run my fingers through it.
She moves onto her tiptoes as she bends even further down into the cooler, and I can feel my erection strainin' against my zipper. If she keeps bendin' over like that, I'm pretty sure my hard-on is gonna rip right through the seams and bang against the wall. My eyes dart around the bar, and I can see the male patrons enjoyin' the view as well. In fact, one slack-jawed guy is even leanin' over the counter to get a better look.
The girl suddenly stands and turns, and my heart stops. Penny?
Her step falters as she timidly walks over to me. "Hey, Colt," she says with a nervous grin.
I take in her uniform, which isn't actually a uniform. It was a slutty Halloween costume that Buddy had special ordered for a girl he used to date. I'm gonna kill him. I storm into the back room and pull my soon-to-be-ex-best-friend to the corner of the room. "What is she doin' here?" I hiss at Buddy.
"She's the new bartender. We haven't had anyone apply since Sheila left." He grins and then adds, "Oh, and she's livin' upstairs in the apartment."
I stare at him in disbelief as he shrugs out of my grip and walks away. No. This can't be happenin'. I can't seem to get away from this girl, and now she's gonna be here at the one place that feels like home to me, a place where I spend most of my time. No. No fucking way.
I storm out of the room and point my finger at Penny. "You. Out. Now!" I yell.
Penny puts her hands on her hips and stares at me. "Did you revert back to being a caveman all of a sudden?" she asks with a perfectly arched brow.
She looks so damn cute when she's tryin' to be mad, and I can feel my heart stutter in my chest. My reaction to her makes my blood boil. Glarin' at her, I shout, "You're fired!"
Nervously, she glances at Buddy peekin' around the corner and the rest of the patrons that have shown a sudden interest in our conversation. Then she turns her attention back to me. "You didn't hire me. Buddy did. So the way I see it, if Buddy says I'm working here, then I'm working here."
Feelin' completely frustrated, I scrub a hand down my face. "Yeah. Well, he did it without my permission. We're partners. It's a fifty-fifty decision, and I didn't okay this."
She stands her ground. "I'm not leaving."
"Yes, you are!" I grab her by the arm and haul her into the back room. She tries to resist me, but it makes me even angrier. I tighten my grip and roughly pull her behind me. When she yelps in pain, I immediately let go. Her hand covers the place where I had been manhandlin' her. "Shit. I'm sorry. I ---." Frustrated, I rake my hands through my hair. "I didn't mean to hurt you. You just make me so damn angry!" I confess in a hurried rush.
When I turn to her, she's cowerin' from me; and my anger instantly melts away. Everyone else is scared of me and I don't care; but, for some reason, I don't want her to be afraid of me. "You can't be here, Penny," I say forcefully.
"I…I need this job!"
"Why?" I demand. How can the mayor's daughter need a job? I'm sure she's never wanted for nothin' in her life. Never had to work hard. She has no idea what it's like to scrape by.
"Because I have nowhere else to go!"
Her words stun me. I narrow my eyes and ask, "What about your parents?"
A sadness forms in her gaze as she says, "They pretty much disowned me when I said I didn't want to go back to New York."
She's stayin' in Bama? Buddy had told me the other day that Penny was visitin' from New York. I had been eagerly expectin' her departure sooner rather than later. Guess I won't be throwin' that goin' away party anytime soon. "Y-you're stayin' in Willowbrook?" I stammer.
She nods once.
I watch her wince as her fingers gently massage her arm. Slowly, I reach for her. "Let me see." She pulls her hand away, and I curse when I see the red marks in the shape of my fingers on her delicate skin. I rummage through the freezer and pull out an ice pack. I wrap the pack in a washcloth and then hold it onto her arm. "This is why I don't want you around me," I whisper. "You drive me crazy."
"I always drove you crazy," she whispers back. "You just didn't mind it so much back then."
I don't say anything to her comment and force myself to concentrate on the ice pack. Her flowery perfume wafts over me, and it's almost like a key unlockin' a long-forgotten memory. I remember that scent. Before I can stop myself, I ask, "Did you used to wear that perfume before my accident?"
"Yeah," she answers. "You always said it reminded you of ---."
"Home."
I hear her breath hitch as her eyes dart up to meet my gaze. "Yeah. You said your mom would pick a bouquet of flowers from her garden, and the whole house would smell wonderful. The first time I wore that perfume, you told me to never wear anything else ever again. And so I haven't."
I look down at her full, pink lips. Her tongue darts out to wet them, and I have the sudden urge to kiss her. Without thinkin', I'm leanin' closer to her. Our lips are almost touchin' before Buddy comes barrelin' into the room.
"If you two are done arguin', I need help out there." He stares at us and raises a brow. "Or I can give you another minute…"
What the hell am I doin'? Quickly, I step back from Penny and toss the ice pack back into the freezer. I shake my head to break the trance I seem to be under. I almost kissed her. What the hell was I thinkin'? Like that wouldn't complicate things even more? One minute I'm firin' her, and the next we're almost makin' out.
I rush out of the room and make my way to the far end of the bar, as far away from Penny as I can get. Buddy and her walk out of the room and stay on the other side of the bar, much to my relief. I start takin' drink orders and fillin' them, but my mind and eyes keep strayin' to Penny. And I'm quick to notice that my eyes aren't the only ones strayin'. Every single guy in the bar can't stop starin' at her.
After an hour of complete frustration, I finally corner Buddy and ask, "What's up with the uniform? You never made Sheila wear it."
"Sheila was old, dude. No one wanted to see that." His eyes wander over to Penny bent over the counter. "Now I don't know any man in his right mind who wouldn't want to see that. She's gonna be bringin' in the male customers in droves."
My hands clench into fists, and I have the overwhelmin' urge to punch his fuckin' lights out. "Watch what you say," I hiss through gritted teeth.
"Why?" Buddy asks, challengin' me as he meets my glare.
"Because…because she's an employee now."
Buddy rolls his eyes. "Yeah, sure, that's the only reason." He pushes past me and walks over to Penny to help her out.
I'm instantly jealous as I watch them talk and laugh and make drinks together. I want that comradery and closeness with her, but I don't know why. I shouldn't want her, but I do. It's so damn frustratin'.
After several minutes of fumin' from watchin' their friendly interactions, I decide to put a wedge in between them. "Hey, Penny?" I call.
She turns to me with a wary expression. "Yeah?"
"That isn't a uniform. That's a Halloween costume that Buddy had special ordered for one of his exes."
The look Penny gives Buddy makes me chuckle. If looks could kill, he would be droppin' dead on the spot. So much for their comradery.
Buddy shrugs his shoulder and tries his best to look innocent. "You look way better in it than she ever did," he says in an attempt to save face. Penny throws a towel in his face and continues to give him the death stare. Buddy turns to glare at me before he says to Penny, "I think we have some other t-shirts in the back."
When I look at Penny, she has an expression on her face I can't decipher. She mouths the words thank you before goin' into the back to change.
A warm feelin' slowly slides down my spine, but I quickly push it away. It might have felt good helpin' her out, but I still don't want her around. I decide I'm gonna keep my distance.
Out of sight. Out of mind.
I just hope it works.
CHAPTER 4
COLTON
IT'S A WEDNESDAY night, and Penny has been workin' at the bar the past few days. Buddy has been showin' her the ropes while I've kept my distance. I can't help but smile when I hear Penny laugh or when she tries to crack a joke to Buddy. They have a friendship that's so effortless, and I envy it. They're comfortable with each other, and in a way it makes me oddly jealous.
I know they've been friends for a while because I hear them talkin' about things that happened in the past. Sometimes Buddy will throw my name in there, but then they both get really quiet and stop talkin' about it as if they're afraid I'll overhear. I know they don't want me gettin' angry, which I'm sure I probably would. Buddy knows I don't talk about the past. And I intend on keepin' it that way.
"Hey, Colt?" Penny calls from the back room.
I peek my head around the corner and see her standin' on her tiptoes, attemptin' to reach a box of straws from the top shelf. "Yeah?" I ask, even though it's obvious what she needs.
"Can I get some help here?" she asks.
"Sure," I mutter before walkin' over to her. I stand behind her and reach up, easily grippin' the box that was so far out of her grasp. She really is short. I pull the box down as she turns to face me.
Her petite body is pinned between the shelvin' unit and me. I stare down at her, and there's somethin' that passes between us. My heart is beatin' fast, like I just drank five cups of coffee. I watch her slender neck as she swallows hard. I want to reach out and touch her, but I force myself not to. I don't know why I always have the urge to touch her, but I do.
Shakin' my head to clear my thoughts, I hand her the box. "There you go," I say gruffly.
"Thank you," she whispers before pullin' away from me and walkin' out of the room.
I blow out a long sigh after she leaves, grippin' the shelves as if my knees could give out at any moment. Why the hell does this keep happenin' to me? I'm not one to get all googly eyed and awkward around girls, so for me to be this way with Penny just boggles my mind. Why her? Sure, she's gorgeous with a great personality, but I have no interest in bein' with her. Maybe I'm just so sexually attracted to her that it's makin' me act stupid. All I know is that I've never wanted to kiss a girl as much as I want to kiss Penny. And if just thinkin' about ki
ssin' her makes me this crazy, I can't imagine how I'm goin' to keep my hands off of her.
Feelin' confused and extremely irritated, I walk out to the main area. My eyes immediately land on Penny. She abandoned the Halloween costume after the first day. Now she usually wears shorts or short skirts. The summers are hot in Alabama, so I can't blame her wardrobe, but her choice of clothin' distracts me. Her long legs drive me insane and clearly every other man that walks in this bar, because she racks up tips like crazy.
"Hey, stud," a sexy, sultry voice calls from the right of me. I turn to see my on-again, off-again fling, Ruby Sue King. Ruby Sue has her jet-black hair pulled up in an old-fashioned style with a colorful bandana. That was the first thing I noticed about her when I met her three years ago. She came into the bar looking like a '50s pin-up model, which is actually what she does when she's not being a tattoo artist or hairstylist. Ruby lives in the next town over and, thus, knows nothin' about my life before the accident. And I like to keep it that way.
For some reason, I don't want Penny to find out about Ruby Sue and me. I'm nervous and worried about her reaction, and I have no idea why. I quickly make Ruby's favorite drink, a screwdriver, and glance over at Penny. She's lookin' the other way, so I set the glass in front of Ruby Sue with every intention of keepin' my distance. But before I can step back, Ruby Sue grabs my shirt and pulls me in for a quick peck on the lips. Then her mouth is at my ear when she says, "I need you tonight, Colton." She pulls back a little and kisses me again, softer and slower this time to make a point.
Remember Me Always: A Contemporary Romance Page 5