Heart of Gold

by Robin Lee Hatcher

  “What can I do for you?”

  A flurry of nerves erupted again. Never in his adult life had he imagined this particular situation. He had no idea how a man was supposed to go about it. If there was a proper way, he hadn’t learned it while driving stage for Wells, Fargo.

  He drew a deep breath and began. “It’s about your daughter, sir.”

  “Yes?”

  “Well . . . You see . . . I’d like your permission to . . . to ask her to marry me.”

  The reverend’s eyes widened a little. “Marry?”

  “Yes, sir. I’ve learned to . . . to care for her these past weeks.”

  “Young man, that’s been obvious to me. I believe she cares for you as well. But I hadn’t expected you would ask for her hand so soon. No one should rush into marriage. It’s a serious step.”

  Matthew nodded but said, “I’m not rushing, sir.”

  Delaney looked toward the altar, his expression pensive.

  “If she’ll have me, Reverend, I’ll be good to her. She’ll never do without. I don’t know that we’ll always have a house as nice as the one I live in now, but I’ll do my best to provide for her.”

  Shannon’s father looked at him again. “I believe that, Matthew.

  But I have one question for you.”

  “Sir?”

  “When we talked that morning in Polly’s Restaurant, that morning after we all arrived in Grand Coeur, you said you had no intention of settling down. That you would be returning to driving stage when you were no longer needed here. Has that changed?”

  What should he say? He didn’t want to lie to the reverend, but he didn’t want to admit that he intended to return to driving stage. He would have to if he wanted to provide well for Shannon and Todd, as he’d just promised. He cleared his throat. “I didn’t know Alice was dying when I said that. And I hadn’t come to care for your daughter.”

  Delaney was silent for another long spell. When he spoke at last, there was the slightest of smiles on his lips. “You have my permission to ask for my daughter’s hand. If I’d had any objection to you, I would have raised the issue with her before this. But I will remind you: Shannon has a mind and will of her own. I believe she cares for you, but only she knows if it is enough for marriage.”

  Relief whooshed through Matthew. It seemed God had answered his prayer to clear the way. Now to convince Shannon. He would ask her tonight, just as soon as he was off work.

  While Alice napped late that afternoon, Shannon wrote to Katie. She gave only a brief description of the previous night’s festivities and hoped that what she wrote wouldn’t make Katie see her circumstances in even worse light. Of the kiss she said nothing. She wasn’t ready to share that with anyone else yet. She wanted to savor it, to treasure it in her heart. And even if she wanted to share, how could she tell her dearest friend that she’d fallen in love with a man who had no allegiance to Virginia? If Katie could meet him, she would understand. But with thousands of miles between them . . .

  Guilt wrapped around her heart. She’d been so angry with her father for accepting this pastorate in Idaho Territory. She’d declared she would never be happy anywhere but Virginia. She’d been determined to change his mind and eventually convince him to go home, whether or not the war still raged.

  But now? Hard though it was to admit, she would rather be near Matthew than back home at Covington House.

  She heard the front door open. Her eyes darted toward the mantel clock. It wasn’t yet time for Matthew to be home. Perhaps it was Todd. Only there was no sound of puppy paws on the wood floor.

  Matthew appeared in the parlor doorway.

  Her heart skittered at the sight of him. “You’re earlier than usual, Mr. Dubois.” She rose from the chair.

  “I was hoping we might have time to talk before you go home.”

  “Of course.”

  “How is Alice?”

  She hated to answer the question. “She didn’t have a good day.”

  “I was afraid she wouldn’t. She never should have gone to the dance last night. It was too much for her, and she stayed out too long.”

  Compassion welled in her chest. “I do not believe staying home would have made any difference. Even not feeling well today, she kept saying what a special time she had last night. It’s good she could have that.”

  “I suppose you’re right.” He motioned with his head toward the door. “Might we take a walk while we talk?”

  “Of course. If you wish.”

  A short while later they set off on foot, up the hillside, heading away from town. Matthew shortened his long stride to accommodate hers. Neither of them spoke for what seemed to Shannon a very long time. She was tempted to fill the silence with mindless chatter. Katie had once declared that no one could keep a conversation going as well and with as little effort as Shannon Adair. And yet something kept her silent now. Waiting. But waiting for what? Why had he wanted to talk?

  And if he wanted to talk, why didn’t he?

  The memory of the kiss they’d shared last night rushed into her mind, and with her entire being she hoped he would stop, take her into his arms, and do it again.

  Alice had heard the deep hum of her brother’s voice when he’d arrived home, although she hadn’t been able to make out his words from up in her room. It’s time, she’d wanted to call out to him.

  Time for what?

  Time for him to ask Shannon to marry him.

  Time for Alice to die.

  It was time.

  How good You have been to me, Father. I never expected to have all these weeks with Matt. I never expected to be cared for so tenderly by the woman I believe will mother Todd and love him when I can’t be here to do it. Thank You for letting me know her.

  It was time. But she would so like to know that everything was in place.

  Not mine, but Thy will be done.

  How should he begin?

  Matthew thought it might be easier to face an Indian war party than to fumble his way through a proposal of marriage. He knew something about arrows and gunfire. But when it came to asking Shannon to marry him . . . Well, it wouldn’t get any easier with continued silence.

  He stopped walking. She took an extra step, then turned toward him. There was something swirling in her eyes, an emotion that he didn’t understand. When she moistened her lips with the tip of her tongue, the same way she had last night, words wouldn’t form in his mind. All he could think of was that he wanted to hold her and kiss her and— He stopped the direction of his thoughts. This wasn’t about desire. This was about doing what was right for Todd. He had to remain focused on that.

  He cleared his throat. “Miss Adair, I went to see your father this morning. I wanted . . . I went to ask his permission for your hand in marriage. Which he gave.”

  There was no doubt what he read in her eyes now—complete surprise.

  “Will you do me the honor of becoming my wife?”

  She didn’t answer with words. Instead, she nodded. A shallow nod, but a nod all the same. He felt his whole body relax, not until then knowing just how afraid he’d been that she would refuse. And if she’d refused . . . That didn’t bear thinking about.

  It seemed natural, then, to lean down to bestow a kiss. To seal the contract between them, he supposed. When they parted, he said, “We must go home and tell Alice. She’ll want to know at once.”

  Again Shannon nodded.

  They would do well, the two of them, and he would do all in his power to see that she was never sorry for accepting his proposal.

  Dearest Katie,

  Finally, I have received a letter from you. I wish it could have been full of better news. I want to help you, and I am helpless to do so. All I can do is pray for you and write letters and hope to be of some encouragement.

  I wrote to you earlier today, but something more happened this afternoon that caused me to tear up that letter and write a new one. I hope my news will bring you joy, even if you will find it hard to believe. I can
scarcely believe it myself.

  Mr. Dubois has proposed and I have accepted. We are to be married. His sister, Alice, has asked that we not delay. She wants to be with us when we wed, and although she has seemed so much better in recent weeks, that is no longer true. We have settled on a date less than two weeks from now. July 17 at three o’clock in the afternoon. Alice expressed a wish that we wed even sooner, but there is much to do in a short period of time. How dear a sister Alice has become to me as I’ve spent time with her and cared for her. I wish you could have known her.

  Father approves of Mr. Dubois. His Christian name is Matthew. Have I told you that before? I suppose I should get used to saying it aloud. Matthew Dubois. Matthew, darling. My dear Matthew. His friends and sister call him Matt, but I prefer the longer version. My beloved Matthew.

  I can hear you laugh as you read those words. Oh, how I wish you could be with me at my wedding. As much as I care for Alice, you are the truest and dearest sister of my heart. How I wish you could stand with me as I exchange vows with my intended.

  The wedding shall not be a large affair. We shall have the ceremony at Matthew’s home because that will be less taxing on his sister. I do not believe she would have the strength to go to the church. Also the Dubois home has a lovely parlor while the one at the parsonage is small and dark. I will have a new dress, but it shall not be ornate, in keeping with the simplicity of our plans.

  I wish I could be certain of your receipt of this letter. I so want you to know that I have found happiness, even though I am far from home. I was certain that would not be true, as you well know, and I made poor Father suffer with my moodiness. You know him, so you also know that he has forgiven my willfulness. Still, I wish that I had been more charitable to him. And now that I have found love, it seems to me that coming here was the best of all blessings.

  Please share this news with all of our friends in the county. Tell them that Father is well and that he is serving the Lord with those he meets in Grand Coeur. His faith is strong.

  Your devoted friend,

  Shannon Adair

  The second-story bedroom felt uncomfortably warm to Matthew when he checked on his sister before retiring for the night. “Maybe we should move you downstairs,” he told Alice. “It’s a little cooler there.”

  “I’m fine where I am. I don’t want to be any extra trouble. Not now.”

  He settled onto the chair beside the bed and took hold of her hand.

  “You haven’t been any trouble at all.”

  “Liar.” She smiled weakly.

  He returned it with no more conviction.

  “I’ll be ready to go whenever the Lord’s ready to take me.”

  The words were painful to hear, for he didn’t think he would ever be ready for her to leave. They continued to surprise him, these strong emotions that being with his sister had brought to life.

  “‘For to me to live is Christ, and to die is gain.’ It’s true, you know. I will be with the Lord. How could that not be gain?”

  “Your faith is lots stronger than mine, Alice.”

  Again she gave him a weak smile, this time adding a slight shake of her head. “No, Matt. It’s not. If it seems so, it’s only because of God’s grace.”

  “You’re young yet. You shouldn’t—”

  “Hush.” She squeezed his hand. “There isn’t anything that can take me home to heaven any sooner than the Lord wills. I’m content with that.”

  Matthew was glad she was content, but what he wanted to do was argue with God.

  “Help Todd to know God’s love and to love Him in return. Don’t ever let him be bitter about losing his ma and pa so young. Tell him how God collects his tears and knows every hair on his head. Tell him God’s always near.”

  “You know I will.”

  “Matt, God brought you and me and Todd here so we could meet

  Shannon. See how much the Lord cared about us? Isn’t it amazing? Only He could have worked it out so she and her father would come all that way from Virginia so we could meet her. Now you’ll have a wife and Todd’ll have a mother. All because of God’s loving plan.”

  Something stirred in Matthew’s spirit at the truth in her words. Perhaps he’d felt his faith begin to grow, to be more like his sister’s. He hoped so.

  26

  The next days sped by in a blur of activities.

  Shannon visited Gladys Treehorn’s shop and ordered her bridal gown. She chose a lovely light-green silk organza, so pale it was almost white. It would have a three-tiered skirt and a ruffled off-the-shoulder neckline. The shoulders and center point would be accented with handmade satin roses. Mrs. Treehorn assured Shannon it would be ready before the seventeenth.

  Suits were ordered from a tailor in Chinatown for the groom and his young nephew.

  Sun Ling and Sun Jie set about giving the Dubois home a detailed scrubbing.

  Three women from the church volunteered flowers from their gardens for the wedding day.

  The reverend prepared his address to the couple.

  Happiness pervaded the parsonage and the Dubois home alike. Even though Alice was once again confined to her bed, she wanted to talk of little else besides the wedding. She never failed to mention several times each day—to whomever sat beside her bed—how glad she was that Shannon and Matthew would soon be married, how happy their plans had made her.

  Matthew didn’t go to church on Sunday morning, one week before his wedding day. When he visited his sister’s bedroom before leaving for the service, he found her struggling to draw breath and sent Todd for Dr. Featherhill. After the physician arrived, Matthew and the boy waited in the hallway. He tried his best to look calm for Todd’s sake, but in his heart he feared the worst.

  The creak of the bedroom door drew his attention. Dr. Featherhill’s expression was grim as he gave his head the slightest of shakes. “She’s asking for you, Mr. Dubois.” The doctor then looked at Todd. “Young man, she wants to see you, too, but would like to speak to your uncle alone first.”

  She was dying. She was dying soon—and the knowledge hit Matthew like a brick between the eyes. He’d known loss before. Their parents had died during a cholera outbreak. A friend who’d ridden for the Pony Express had died after a fall from a horse. He’d known two other men killed by Indians while manning swing stations on the overland trail. But this felt worse than all of them put together.

  Drawing a breath to steady himself, he moved into the bedroom and walked to the bed. The curtains were drawn against the bright sunlight, a lamp on the bedside table providing what illumination there was.

  Alice seemed to have shrunk until her body scarcely made a ripple in the blankets on the bed. When she saw him, she lifted a hand, though it dropped to her side again before he reached her.

  “Alice,” he whispered as he sank onto the chair beside the bed. He took hold of her hand and folded it within both of his.

  She smiled for a moment. “Remember what . . . we talked . . . about.

  Teach . . . Todd . . . to love . . . God.”

  “I will.”

  “Remind him . . . often . . . how much . . . his mother . . . loved him.”

  Matthew nodded.

  “I’m . . . going to . . . a . . . better place.”

  A lump formed in his throat, making an answer impossible. Listening to her labored speech made his own chest ache.

  “I’m . . . sorry.”

  “For what?” The question sounded raspy in his ears.

  “For . . . not seeing . . . you sooner . . . I . . . love you . . . Matt.”

  He leaned closer. “I love you, too, Alice. Wish I’d let you know it more.”

  “I . . . knew it.” The smile returned to her lips. “I . . . always . . . knew.”

  Her image swam before his eyes. The last time he’d cried had been when their mother died, only hours after their father. He blinked back the tears, unwilling to let them fall. He wanted to be strong for Alice.

  “Be good . . . to Shannon.”


  “I will.”

  “Help Todd to love her as . . . she loves him.”

  “Alice . . .”

  “Don’t change . . . your wedding plans. Todd will . . . need her . . . more than ever.” She drew a breath but it took great effort. “You need her . . . Matt. You . . . need her love.”

  His own breathing was labored, as if he were trying to breathe for her. “I know. We won’t change our plans. But don’t give up, Alice. Stay and be with us on our wedding day.”

  Sadness filled her eyes as she shook her head. “Bring . . . Todd in . . . please.”

  “Sure.” He released her hand, stood, and returned to the door.

  Opening it, he said, “Your ma wants you, Todd.”

  The boy was past him in an instant. Matthew stayed by the door, watching as Alice drew her son’s head down to her chest and stroked his hair. He couldn’t make out her words from where he stood. They were spoken too softly. But he heard Todd begin to cry.

  It was only moments, though it felt like hours, before Alice lifted her eyes to meet his. The lump returned to his throat, and he pushed off from the wall at his back. When he reached the bedside, he put his hands on the boy’s shoulders. “Time to let your ma rest,” he said.

  “No.” Todd straightened, looking up at him, then back at his mother. “Not yet.”

  “It’s . . . all right . . . Todd,” she whispered. “You go with your . . . Uncle Matt.”

  Matthew drew the boy back from the bed.

  Alice closed her eyes. “I’ll . . . see you . . . both . . . again.”

  Matthew believed it. Had always believed in the promise of heaven. But at the moment, the belief didn’t bring much comfort. “Let’s go, Todd.” He turned the boy and propelled him toward the bedroom door. To the doctor, he mouthed the words, I’ll be back. Then he and Todd went down the stairs to find Sun Ling.

  Shannon and her father were just leaving the church when Sun Ling met them at the bottom of the steps. “So sorry. Mr. Dubois needs reverend.”

  “Is it Alice?” Shannon said softly. That explained Matthew’s and