by Darcy Town
“Ever?”
“Not once. He…” Paimon ground his teeth and let it all slip out, “I cannot touch him unless I am hitting him, fucking him, or saving his life, the exception being when he was sick and delirious. Just once, I want to—he’s punishing me. I know it.”
She frowned. “Why would he do that?”
“I…you saw what I did to him.” Paimon looked at his feet. “I hurt him when he was his most open and vulnerable.” His mouth screwed into a grimace. “I ate his goddamn flowers because I was an emotional retard. Who does that? Besides me, apparently.”
Dahlia squeezed him. “You learned from that. He cannot possibly still hold that against you.”
“He didn’t at first, but maybe thinking back later he…I…” Paimon shook his head. “As time has passed, he has become more and more closed off. On the surface, he’s fine, but he doesn’t let me in, not really. When I try to do anything that might hint at real affection he repels it, refuses it, shrugs it off with a witticism or he thinks I am making fun of him! I mean, I do make fun of him, but that doesn’t mean I don’t care for him. I say nice things from time to time.”
He looked into her eyes. “I love him, but even when I say that he has some line to throw back at me, something ready to deflect it. I don’t think he really believes me, Dahlia, even now. He said as much when he was sick. Now he’s trying to play it off like he didn’t mean what he said, but I know. I can’t stand it…I know him hurting is my fault, but I don’t know what to do about it.” They stopped dancing near one of the bars. Paimon reached for a bottle of champagne.
Dahlia ripped the bottle out of his hands and handed it back to the bartender. She put her hands on his chest. “First off, stop drinking.” She pulled him away from the bar. “He sounds like he is on the defensive, but I know the sweetness is there, that same Furcas is there.”
“For everyone but me.” Paimon stared at his feet. “Do you know anything? Having been connected with him and all.”
Dahlia looked thoughtful, remembering the memories and feelings she had shared with Furcas. “He feels very much for you, but I think he assumes you are going to hurt him as soon as he lets his guard down.”
“Why?” Paimon frowned.
“I saw what happened between you; I felt what he had felt.” Dahlia frowned. “He feels that he is not good enough for you and that you must resent him for not being good enough. He is shielding himself from you, expecting that you will leave him eventually to find someone better. Why would he be expecting that?”
Paimon flinched. “Again, my fault.”
She sighed. “What did you do?”
“Well…I left him.”
Dahlia went rigid. “You are an idiot.”
He stared at his feet. “It was only for a bit and I—”
“A bit?!”
“A few centuries.” Paimon grew flustered at her scowl. “Okay more than a few, but I came back! I haven’t done it again, and I won’t do it again. I wasn’t with anyone else. Never even considered it. That’s not even why I left!”
“Does he know that?”
“No, but I mean that’s obvious! I’ve only wanted him.”
Dahlia sighed. “Did you ever talk about this with him?”
“A little just the other day, I said I was sorry so I thought everything would be better…”
“Paimon!”
“Okay!” Paimon ruined his styled hair with his fingers. “I screwed up, bad, I know it. How do I fix my fuck ups, Dahlia?”
Furcas twirled Whitney and the pair reached their side. Furcas used his one arm to spin her. He smiled at Dahlia.
Whitney blushed. “Furcas told me he was one of your high-school friends. Is that true? Which one?”
Paimon glared at Furcas. “I see you can still dance despite missing some pieces.”
Furcas rolled his eyes. “Of course, some of us are naturally graceful.” He took Whitney away before Dahlia could respond to Whitney’s question.
Dahlia pinched Paimon. “What the fuck are you doing?”
“What?” Paimon rubbed his arm.
“You just insulted him, you dolt!”
Paimon stared after Furcas. “That’s how we, I…talk.”
“That is how you treat him and yet you wonder why he does not open up to you? I thought you were smart!”
“I—”
Dahlia grabbed his chin, and the Lilliam nearby blinked in shock. She got up close to his face. “Say something nice for once, and do not follow it up with sarcasm. Tell him how you really feel! Apologize.”
“I don’t know how to.”
Dahlia pressed her hands to either side of his temples. “Yes. You. Do.”
“But—”
“No buts. Lay yourself out there. He will probably hurt your feelings, but it sounds like you deserve it. Maybe he needs to see that your feelings can get hurt, that you care enough about his opinion to let them be hurt, ever think about that dumbass?”
He looked away. “No.”
“Then start. Shape up and be there for him. He needs it, especially now.”
***
Andy fidgeted with his napkin, beside him Belial laughed at Lucifer. He cleared his throat and tapped her on the shoulder. Belial turned to him. Her big blue eyes met his and he had all of her attention. Andy blinked rapidly. “Do you, um, want to dance with me?”
Belial nodded. Andy jumped out of his chair, knocking it over. He swore and righted it. He held his hand out to her. She took it, trying to hide the smirk on her face. She could feel him shaking through their contact. She squeezed his hand. “Shall we?”
Andy pulled her into position and swept her towards the dance floor. Belial relaxed in his grip and let him lead. She smiled and closed her eyes, trusting him to keep her safe.
Andy gulped. He took a deep breath and tried to let it out without making a sound. His heart pounded. For the first time in a long time, he found himself without words, but it was okay. He held her firmly and the pair moved in time with the other couples. She leaned her head on his shoulder. Andy smiled and they forgot about everything else. The lights overhead shifted colors slowly.
The music changed tempo and a new song started. Belial opened her eyes and looked up at him expectantly. Andy smiled at her and he felt his blush returning. “Belial.”
“Yes, Andrealphus?”
He closed his eyes. “Would you like to go to dinner sometime, maybe?”
Belial grinned. “Are you asking me out on a date?”
His eyes shot open. “Isn’t that what I am supposed to do?”
She laughed sweetly and shook her head. “It’s fine, and yes.”
“Yes to…”
“Yes we can go to dinner sometime.”
Andy grinned and dipped her. “There is this place in New York City, you’ll love it, it reminds me of our days in Assyria.”
She made a face. “That could be a great or terrible thing.”
“It’s a great thing, trust me, you’ll love it!
Helion tapped Andy’s shoulder. “Mind if I cut in?”
Andy floated on a cloud of happiness. “Not at all, just return her.” He kissed Belial’s cheek and ran into Whitney. He pulled her to him, and they set off, catching up.
Helion took Belial to the outer edge of the dance floor, and they moved along slowly with the crowd. He examined her, his eyes moved separately of one another.
Belial stared into his black eye. “You win the award for most creepy looking; it moves on its own.”
Helion stuck his tongue out at her.
She laughed. “Very mature!”
He smiled. “You are happy.”
Belial shrugged. “I can be happy, Helion. I have been happy before.”
He stared at her intently. “But you are happier, healing.”
Her smile slid away. “Helion, nothing has changed.”
He shook his head. “You have changed. I can see it.”
Belial sighed and looked away. “Not inside.”
“Liar.”
She glared at him. “Don’t act as if you know me, we have been apart for a long time.”
“We are one soul, Belial. I know you.”
“No, you don’t. Not since I cut the connection between us.”
He froze. “You did that?”
Belial nodded. “I had to, Helion. I couldn’t let you experience that. He was going to—”
“You severed us!” Helion quaked. “You parted what was one!”
Belial gripped his shoulders. “Helion, I did not want you to be hurt.”
He cried into her hair. “How could that not hurt? What could be worse? We were made to share everything. We were never made to be separate.”
“It would have been worse. I protected you from him.”
“By hurting yourself.” He squeezed his eyes shut. “It felt as-if you were dead!”
She raised his face to hers. “I was. I am.” She looked into his eyes and sighed, making a decision. She took his hand and placed it against her sternum. “A glimpse only. Do not try and make this permanent. Do not try and keep the connection open.” She closed her eyes and rejoined them.
Helion and Belial linked.
Helion felt what she felt. He caught glimpses of her memories, and he sensed what lived inside her. Helion wailed.
Belial cut the connection and slapped her hand over his mouth. The Promenade had gone silent. She swept him into a hug and looked around at everyone else. “Mind your own business.” She pulled him away from the dance floor as the music restarted. Belial looked him over. Physically he appeared sound. “Helion, are you okay?”
Helion shook his head and stared at her chest. “What is in you? It was…” he gagged. “Septic. Cancerous.”
“Uriel.” Belial rubbed his palms between her hands.
“Why is that inside you?”
“He wanted to replace you and Andrealphus in one action. He tried to join us together physically since he could not any other way.” She pressed his hand against her chest. Her face strained as her insides churned. “What beats inside isn’t mine and it gets harder to fight against it.”
Helion’s white pupil expanded. “Get Paimon to fix it.”
“He cannot fix it, Helion.”
Helion shuddered. “Share with me what Uriel did, maybe I can fix it!”
“No.”
“Lessen your burden, Belial.”
“No!”
He grabbed her wrists. “You were not meant to bear things alone! We are supposed to do this together.”
She tore her hands out of his grip. “If I let you in it will infect you, if it doesn’t kill you outright! Can’t you understand that? You’ll become like me!”
Helion shook his head. “I do not care! You are my twin, it is worth the risk.”
“No, it’s not.”
“That is not your decision to make, Belial!”
Andrealphus and Whitney dropped to their side. Andy looked between the twins. “Are you two okay?”
“Yes.” They lied in unison. Belial smiled and took Andy’s hand. “Come on, Andy. Let’s dance again.”
Helion stood locked in spot. Whitney wrapped her arms around him and hugged him. He trembled beneath her touch.
***
Berith watched Apple and Lucifer dance, everyone danced but him. He considered speaking to the princes, but most were out of their seats and dancing, even Grendel had a date. He glanced over at Apple, wishing she would be done already.
Someone tapped his shoulder. He looked up into the face of the Queen. He stood up and ducked his head. “Daphne.”
Daphne smiled. “That you show us deference has never ceased to amaze me.” She smiled at his spreading blush. She linked her arm with his. “Walk with me once around the Promenade?”
“Of course.”
They walked together until the music grew faint. Daphne nudged him. “I half expected this to be Apple’s wedding.”
Berith looked at her confused. “She has another suitor?”
Daphne laughed. “No, Berith, not at all.” She stopped and turned to him. “When are you going to marry my daughter?”
Berith rubbed his neck. “I was not sure if you approved of me as a potential choice for her.”
Daphne shook her head. “Berith, our family would be honored, truly. How could there be anyone better? You have been a devoted defender of this City and of the ones that came before. You’ve led our troops in battle, you’ve saved countless Lilliam, and you have my daughter’s heart. You have our blessing as well.”
“Morgan has also agreed?”
“We all have Berith. Aita, Persephone, Dawn, Anansi, Draco, Odin and Triton and I’m sure Cyclops would as well were he to still be with us.”
“Why do you tell me this now?”
“We were waiting for your relationship to get to this point naturally. Someone has yet to explain why it took as long as it did.”
Berith blushed. “She is as stubborn as I am and as full of pride. I’m afraid a game of who could outlast the other became the relationship.”
“And now?”
“Now I realize that I have wasted much time. I should have professed my love the first time I saw her destroy a city.” He recalled the memory and smiled.
Daphne shook her head and placed a small box in his hand. “Please go do what you should have a long time ago.” She turned and walked back to the party.
Berith opened his palm and stared at the box. He lifted the lid and light shone up at him. He ran back to the party. As he returned, Apple broke off from Lucifer to collect him. Lucifer looked around, saw Dahlia dancing with Helion, and headed towards the piano.
Apple glanced past Berith to her mother. “What did she want?”
“Resolution.”
Apple frowned. “What does that mean?”
Berith got to one knee and took her hand. “Appleadris?”
Apple froze. “Berith?”
Berith opened the box and took out a ring fashioned from gold and starlight. “Will you marry me?”
***
Paimon and Furcas sat at a table, alone. Paimon edged his chair towards Furcas. He reached out to take his hand when cheers went up. They looked over to see Apple and Berith kissing, her left arm glowed with the light from the ring on her finger. Furcas and Paimon smiled.
Furcas shook his head. “About damn time.”
“I know.” Paimon reached out and snatched up Furcas’ hand.
Furcas looked from his hand to Paimon. “What?”
“Can’t I hold your hand?”
Furcas looked him over. “What are you planning?”
Paimon frowned. “Why would I be planning anything?”
“Are you going to ruin my suit because I made you look nice?”
“No.”
“Well, what then?”
Paimon bit his tongue to keep from saying something mean on impulse. He let the truth slip out instead. “I just want to hold your hand, Furcas.”
“Why?”
“Because I enjoy touching you.”
Furcas pulled his hand back. “I’m not falling for whatever it is you’re trying to pull. I only have one good hand left. I want it to remain intact.”
Paimon stared at his empty hand. “As you wish.”
Furcas frowned. “I thought I had you pegged, but you’ve just shown that even you can learn how to lie better. I am going to have to relearn all your nuances.”
“I am not lying.”
“You’re good. You’ve been practicing this haven’t you?” Furcas stuffed his hand in his pocket. Paimon’s expression made him pause. “What is this? Barachiel calls you out on a bunch of shit and now you feel like you have to make some kind of effort? Did the Archangel wound your pride or are you worried that I am going to take some of what he said to heart?”
Furcas waited for Paimon’s retort, but nothing came. He looked up. Paimon stared at the floor. So used to the banter, Furcas kept going. “Regardless, why would we hol
d hands anyways, how saccharin would that be? We’re not little kids. I don’t need paper hearts or cuddling. I do have some dignity left, despite how I might appear now. I like to think of myself as an adult, Paimon. Adults don’t need that sappy shit.”
Paimon stayed quiet.
Furcas’ eye lit up. “You asshole, you are trying to get me back aren’t you? So what were you going to do, drag me out there in front of everyone and tease me? Or sing to me again? Maybe tell them the stupid idea I had about kids.” Furcas hissed. “That’s it isn’t it! Well, I’d rather you just punch me in the head a few times than make a fool—”
Paimon got up and walked away.
Furcas watched him go in shock.
Paimon reached the piano and kicked Lucifer off the piano bench. Lucifer dusted himself off and shrugged. Paimon sat down and the waltz changed to ragtime. He pounded at the keys, ignoring everyone else.
Lucifer and Dahlia’s eight children coalesced into the forms of little kids. They laughed at the music and jumped around. Ouroboros grabbed Furcas’ hand and pulled him towards the fray. Furcas smiled and changed to a young version of Faith, decked out in a party dress.
***
Lucifer came up behind Dahlia and wrapped his arms around her. She smiled and looked up. She turned in his arms and kissed him. He pulled her towards the tables. Dahlia stopped him. “No more dancing?”
He shook his head.
Dahlia laughed. “The Devil does not dance the jitterbug.”
He nodded. “Quite.” He pulled the pin out of her hair and let it tumble down her shoulders. He hugged her. Dahlia smiled. He did not let her go. “I could never tire of this.”
Dahlia kissed his neck. “Good, me neither.”
He took a seat and pulled her onto his lap. They watched the revelers and the Lilliam left the pair to themselves. He pulled her into a long kiss and the lamps around them unhinged and turned into glowing doves.
She blushed. “PDA.”
Lucifer smirked. “Dahlia, the entire world knows when we are having sex, everything we do qualifies as that.”
***
Andy bumped Paimon from his spot at the piano. Belial sat next to him and leaned her head on his shoulder. The Lilliam with instruments followed along as Andy turned the music into a jig.