by K. T Fisher
"Noooooo mummy! No tickles."
He says while his still laughing. I see a little bit of his tummy peaking out from under his pajama top. His tummy sucks in as he takes a deep breath, waiting for me to it. I suck in a deep breath and dive to his tummy and then blow a long tickling raspberry on his little, soft belly. Finley bursts out a squealing laugh and wriggles about on the bed.
"Stop mummmmmy!"
I stop and lie back down and Finley cuddles up to my side.
"Your funny mummy"
I kiss him on his forehead fighting away that guilty feeling that's creeping back up and then start to get ready. Finley hasn't demanded anything yet so I quickly take advantage and pull on my black leggings and sky blue floaty blouse. He doesn't give me time to do my hair though.
"Juice mummy please."
I nod and pick him up, he can walk down the stairs but I like to carry him. I sit him down at the table and pour him some juice in his Buzz Lightyear cup. I flick the kettle on and hand him his juice.
"Toast mummy please."
"Okay Finley."
I set about our morning routine. When we have both done in the kitchen I take Finley back upstairs to get him dressed and tell him what were doing today.
"Were going shopping."
His face brightens up, if you were to tell any other three year old they were coming shopping I'm sure they would moan or throw a fit but my little boy actually loves it. Other times when I have been out shopping I see kids having tantrums on the floor or running around being naughty for their parents. Finley however is good as gold, he holds my hand and stays near me the whole time were out. The only thing bad about taking Finley is I can't look at my clothes too much because he gets bored but he still won't be naughty. He just loves to look at clothes for him, or toys. As you know my son likes to dress himself so obviously his going to like picking the clothes he will be wearing. At least he has a good taste in clothes. Today his chosen his electric blue skinny jeans and a white t-shirt that says You wish you were me on the front. I leave him to play in his room while I finish on getting ready. I decide to just straighten it, my usual make-up routine and were both ready to go. Were about to walk out the door when Finley stops me.
"Gel mummy"
I go grab his hair gel which was in the kitchen and I spike it up how he likes it. Just like Mark has it, Mark did this the other night when he popped around and now I have to do it for him. It's another thing that makes him look that little bit more like his daddy. Finley runs of to go and look at himself in the mirror in the hallway and I hear him shout.
"Cool dude!"
"Come on then cool dude lets go."
On our drive into the town center we sing along to the radio. One Direction comes on and Finley knows almost every word. His nodding his head as he sings and he belts out the last line.
"Thats what makes you beautiful!"
"Wow Fin that was great! Well done baby."
"I like singing. I'm gonna be the best singer ever mummy."
My heart stutters, did he mean what I think he meant. Did my boy say he wants to be a singer? His only three no need to panic. It would only be natural to follow in his dads footsteps, even if he doesn't know Jax. Music is deep in Jax's roots, so it's also in Finley's right? Oh I don't know! I swallow down the ache in my heart.
"Anything you want to be rockstar."
*~*~*
Were having a good shop, Finley's good as gold as usual. He has three bags full of new clothes and a pair of new Converse high tops. He stood there for ten minutes deciding which colour, he finally decided on the dark gray. I managed to quickly browse my shops, treated myself to some new jeans and a few new tops and a pair of white high top Converse for myself. We head up to the toy store for Finley's present for being a good boy. While his browsing the toy shelves a toy deal catches my eye, two goal nets, a football and pump. I don't even think I just grab it and ask the young girl behind the counter to hurry so my son can't see me buying him a surprise. After the boxes are bagged up to hide them from Finley's little eyes. I watch Finley beside the counter starting at some toys.
"Seen anything you like Fin?"
He nods without looking at me, he looks like his in deep thought. I step around the counter to see what his looking at and the ache in my heart returns in full speed I almost fall to the floor. There just toys but I can't help the thumping of my heart when I see the electric blue mic stand with microphone and the matching electric blue guitar.
"Which one mummy?"
So that's why his thinking so hard, he doesn't know weither to get the microphone and the stand or the guitar. Then I see the sign next to the toys, there's an offer on these toys when you buy them both bought together so I decide to spoil him and let him have both. He has a huge smile on his face while I'm struggling with the bags on the way to the car. On our way home we pick up a McDonald's. I finish mine first so while Finley is filling his face I run to go and get the bags from the boot. I leave the football box in the boot though, for now. After I've put mine and Finley's clothes and shoes bags away on my bed I hear Finley from the kitchen.
"All done mummy."
Finley's sitting by his two boxes on the floor. When I pick one up he gets all excited. I connect them and put in the batteries. He picks up the guitar and fits the sling over his shoulder and then stands behind his mic stand and starts shouting/singing.
"Oh yea I'm a rockstar, rockstar. I am a cool dude and my mummy has purple hairrrrrr!"
I can't stop laughing. That was the most funny and adorable thing I've seen. I wish I recorded that.
"Wait let me get a picture."
He acts like his strumming his guitar and pulls a face. I snap away and send it to Jessica. I immediately get a reply.
JESSICA: OMG! How cute is he! What R U up 2?
ME: I no it's scary how much he looks like Jax. Were just
chilling at home, Y U wana come over?
JESSICA: Yh if thats OK? Sam wants 2 come 2, 5 mins?
ME: Of course its OK, shall I ask the others?
JESSICA: Yh OK xx
So I send a group message to everyone asking if they want to come around for the afternoon. Only Mark is free.
MARK: Who else is coming?
ME: Us, Jess n Sam
MARK: Cool, shall I bring a BBQ? I get everything
ME: Its up 2 U hun, U dont have 2, C U soon xx
I don't know why Mark hasn't got himself a girl yet. His a great guy. There's a light knock on the front door followed by Jessica's sing song voice.
"Hellooooooo? I heard there's a rockstar house!"
Jessica and Sam arrive in the living room and they both stop and take in the image of mini Jax standing there singing and strumming on his guitar. They both wipe there shocked looks off there faces.
"Hey buddy, I got you something to cool down with."
Sam pulls out a massive water gun. Finley's eyes look like there about to bug out his face.
"I got me one too"
He pulls out a matching one, Finley carefully takes his guitar off and they run into the kitchen to fill the water guns. Jessica is shaking her head as she watches Sam following Finley.
"Honestly, it's like his the same age as Finley."
We giggle watching the water fight outside. Finley is doing his loud evil laugh and Sam is dripping with water. Were still laughing when Mark walks in holding bags.
"Hey, I bought a disposable BBQ instead, should still do the job."
So Mark and Sam take charge of the manly job of being in charge of the BBQ and soon the garden is filled with delicious smells. While Finley is too busy on eating his hot dog to notice anything I run to my car to take out the secret box. I put it on the kitchen floor and walk over to the back door where Finley is still eating. I sit down beside him and wait until his plate is empty.
"Finley there's a surprise in the kitchen for you."
He gasps and runs into the kitchen.
"FOOTBALL OH YEA"
Jess
ica, Mark and Sam all look confused.
"I bought him some goals from the toy store."
"Aswell as clothes and his other new toys?"
I shrug at Jessica's accusing glare.
"Kendal you spoil him."
"I'm not spoiling him, he deserves it."
Finley comes running out looking panicked and grabs Sam and Mark.
"Come on! I need help."
He drags them into the kitchen. Well not actually drag, his only 3 but his leading them by there hands. Me and Jessica watch from outside as they set it all up for him, I'm glad Sam and Mark are actually here now. I don't think I would have had the patience to do all of that. Jessica gets out the wine and we talk about Barcelona. We have everything planned for Sophie's hen. We will arrive very early in the morning so we can take out time unpacking, chill by the pool or even go back to sleep seeing as we will be there early. On the first morning there we have arranged a sexy lap dance and pole dancing lessons for 10:00am. That should be funny and also maybe useful for the future. Tanya has actually bought a cheeky present for Sophie which I hope doesn't scare her, she has bought her a dancing pole so she can show Reece her new moves. After that we will have dinner followed by a luxury yacht ride where we can soak up the sun and sip champagne. At night we can find some local bars to end the night in. The next morning we have arranged for some professional photos to be taken of all of us on the gorgeous white sandy beach near our hotel. This is also another wedding present from all of us because we will have some of them printed of for Sophie. The rest of the day can be spent doing whatever we want. Seeing as it's a hen, we will probably be spending the last night getting drunk. Then the next afternoon we fly home, I really hope Sophie likes it. She did after all trust us to plan it all, we know she doesn't like the tacky idea of hen do's so we hope we have done Sophie proud.
It's not long before Finley is all tired out after his busy day of shopping and an hour of kicking a football about with Sam and Mark. My three friends go home and I take my little rockstar to bed.
"Today was fun mummy."
"Yes it was, do you like your new toys?"
He nods and smiles that smile that brings an image of his dad to me.
"Can I take them to mama and grandads tomorrow?"
"Sure honey."
He falls asleep as I'm reading his story. Tomorrow I have to do the Sunday cover shift. It's not so bad because we close at 4:00 on a Sunday but I will be missing my mums roast dinner.
Chaper 12
~Jax~
I'm in the garden with Max and Leo chilling by the pool with a few beers. I have been looking at other houses and apartments online but they don't know yet. They must know I'm not 100% happy living here though. I love the guys like my brothers but I cannot live with them, I thought living in a big house would be easier than living on a tour bus with them. I was wrong. Being on a tour bus is a lot better than living with them, at least on a tour bus they don't throw parties all the time and I have Rhys to talk to whenever there too busy keeping some girls entertained. I have learnt a hard fact about them too, they sometimes share the girls, not separately, threesome sharing. I do not like to think about it, each to there own but not me.
So were sat out here discussing the stag do for Rhys. A little last minute but were guys and we want to do is drink so it's not going to be too much trouble. The guys want to have three days worth of strippers but I say no, Rhys wont want that. I make a deal with them that if they get married they can have all the strippers there heart desires. Were using Leo's step brothers private plane, his step brother is a stinking rich film director.
"So we have travel sorted and where were going now we need to find somewhere to stay."
Rhys loved Las Vegas when we toured there last year but when your on tour you don't get to relax or see the sites but this time he will. Well not exactly the tourist sites.
"Jax did you ask Rex if he can come?"
I nod, his brother was all to eager to come.
"Well I think we should get a villa, it will be more private. The last thing Rhys will want on his stag is fans knocking on his hotel room door."
Makes sense so Max gets on his laptop and gets to it. Leo claps his hands together.
"Sooo. What will we being doing when were there?"
"We have to go to a strip club but don't hire it all out because that will just make him feel awkward. You know what his like. We have a private area just for us, we need to get in and out of there privately."
Leo huffs and asks Mark to search for the top strip joints. So what exactly is Leo doing for this?
"What else?"
"When we were there last year he said he wanted to go to the casino's but we didn't have the time."
Leo clicks his fingers and has a grin on his face. I look over to Max who has his head buried in his laptop busy booking shit.
"Yes, we should definitely do some gambling! Jax you get on that."
Max looks up from the laptop and frowns at Leo.
"And what is it your gona be doing?"
"Well I got us the plane and thought of strippers. I've got a hot girl to see so see ya."
Max looks a little pissed off as Leo walks by him whistling. When the front door shuts behind him his shaking his head.
"Little shit always fucks off when stuff needs to be done."
If I didn't know any better I would think Max was a little jealous that Leo is out meeting a girl but he is speaking the truth. Leo is amazing on stage, he puts all his energy into his drums but when it comes to everything else he disappears. He doesn't like work, when we need to talk over the album and all the details of songs, recording and the tour he either sits there bored shitless not talking at all or his not there.
I fetch my IPad and go back outside with Max where we both finish off talking and booking for Rhys stag. We manage to find a rally race on a desert race course, Rhys loves all that shit. On the phone I find out the company also hosts a whole lot of different activities, I decide to just hire the whole place out for the day, saves pictures being taken and we can choose whatever we want to do when were there. I know for a face I will not be sky diving of bungy jumping though. Fuck that.
Later on when I head on over to Rhys house I feel allot better knowing we have it all planned and sorted it. I was feeling guilty as hell we hadn't talked about it yet but it was hard to get Max and Leo to sit down and talk to them seriously. When Rhys told us he only wanted to stay two nights I think that snapped them into gear thank god.
I arrive at the gates leading up to his drive and press in the security code to let myself into the property. Seeing Rhys' big house makes me think about the house I loved. I looked at it online yesterday thinking it over, could I buy a house like that for myself? I was tempted to just buy it so nobody else could even if I don't want to live in it yet. That house is a family house, it needs a girlfriend, maybe a wife even and kids. Not a single rocker on his lonesome. Fucking hell, what is it with me sounding like a pussy lately? Maybe I need to rethink not having sex. Rhys opens his door stopping that line of thought.
"Hey man, what you doing?"
"What? Other than planning a stag?"
He grimaces. It's funny how scared he is.
"Oh dear"
I laugh and pat him on his shoulder as I walk past him and into his house. We walk into his overly large garden. His garden is massive, I would say it's about the size of a football pitch. I don't understand why you would want a garden this big. He says it's for children and all that jazz. It does have an amazing view though. Fields and a huge lake. Last time I was in his garden the need to write came over me so that's the need for this visit.
"So what you here for? Space from the guys again?"
"Yea but that's not why I'm here, I need to get a start on writing and your garden seemed the right place."
He leaves me in his garden on my own because he knows I'm not good company when my mind is in another place. I zone out when I'm in my writing mind. If I get interr
upted too many times I snap and get in a bad mood. Too many times I've ended up in a fight or two with them over the years so now they leave me alone. As soon as Rhys is gone my writers mind taps into feelings that have been troubling me for a while and I'm off.