Hannah had a theory that when you finally get together with your soulmate—things change. She said your body is supposed to change, your scent, your reflection, even the way it felt when the breeze touched your skin changed. It was all true.
I couldn’t get enough of Gage. I was tired and sore. He was so big at times it felt as if he’d split me in two. I didn’t care one bit. I wanted more. Him inside me, consuming me. I wanted to become one with him. The hunger I felt for him—that craving—was insatiable.
Needless to say, the dinner at one of Sonoma’s most romantic restaurants didn’t happen. We ate the sandwiches that Sadie had sent for the trip and some of the snacks before he took me against the railing on the veranda. By four in the morning we were spent. At noon, when the owner of the B&B woke us up because we had to check out, we got on our way to San Diego hours after originally planned.
“We need to try this again,” Gage said while he drove down the coast of California.
“What exactly are you talking about?”
“The trip to Sonoma,” he explained. “We skipped a lot of attractions.”
“Do you regret last night?”
He took my hand and kissed my knuckles. “Never. It was the best night of my life. I just wished we’d stayed a little longer. We’re getting closer to San Diego, and that’s our final destination—for now.”
“When do you have to go back to Seattle?”
“My flight’s on Monday morning,” he answered, releasing my hand and stroking my leg.
“Rodin, hands on the wheel,” I ordered.
“Can you blame me?” He sent me a panty melting smirk. “It’s been five hours since the last time I was inside you.”
My entire face heated because five hours ago, we were up against the door while the owner knocked on the other side for the third time because we weren’t downstairs yet.
“You have a problem,” I said.
“An addiction. You’re my new addiction,” he corrected me. “You’re like a drug. A wonderful aphrodisiac I need to stay alive. Only you can satiate the craving.”
His hand traveled between my legs where he traced the line of my lace panties and said, “I might need you forever.”
I wanted to ignore what he said, but the more I thought about it, the more I agreed with him. Our attraction was strong, but the craving to kiss him, to touch him, was even stronger.
“You’re coming this weekend, right?”
He snorted. “What happened to, ‘No, it’s too soon?’”
“You happened,” I answered.
“We happened,” he corrected me, his voice huskier. “I knew it’d be good but fuck, it was …”
“Magical,” we said at the same time.
I remembered how the night before we’d watched the dark horizon from the veranda, his strong arms were wrapped around me, pulling me close to his naked chest. He’d brushed his lips against my forehead and my bare neck. I’d felt as if I were floating on a cloud. My heart fluttered, and I wanted nothing else but to stay right where we were, forever.
“This weekend might not work,” he said grabbing my hand and bringing my palm to his lips. He kissed it a couple of times then nibbled the inside of my wrist. Even that innocent touch aroused me.
“Your dad got me a gig for the weekend,” he finally explained. “I’ll come next week.”
“I have classes.”
“Not at night,” he said suggestively. “When are you flying back?”
“In a couple of weeks, I think.” I whimpered as I tried to take my hand away from him.
His playful, soft tongue against my skin made me wet and horny. The way Gage touched me was different, unique. Tender at times and yet, erotic. Within seconds I became greedy, filled with desire and so much more. As he drove, I wanted to climb into his lap and take him deep inside while I rode him hard.
My mind was out of control, and so was my body. I worried because it didn’t feel like me. I didn’t allow anyone to see my real self. With him, I didn’t care if he saw the real me because he loved that person, and she loved him.
We drove for four hours and stopped in Bakersfield and ate at Los Molcajetes, a small Mexican restaurant that Gage’s family stops by every time they drive down to Disneyland. He promised me that the next time we took the trip, we’d take our time to really appreciate the cities we drive by. He made it sound like we would be doing it often and for a long time.
After last night, I wanted it to be true, to make things last for us. Once we merged onto I-5, I pulled my phone from my purse and saw a text from Hannah.
Hannah: Where are you?
Tess: I’m three or four hours away from San Diego. Why?
My heart beat fast waiting for her answer.
Tess: Is everything okay?
Hannah: Yes, I just wanted to know what happened last night. Dad’s upset because you didn’t text him until noon today.
Tess: I texted him when we arrived in Sonoma and then before we left for San Diego.
Hannah: I get that. I want to know what happened. You promised to tell me.
Tess: I promised to tell you what?
Hannah: If you guys had sex.
Tess: I don’t kiss and tell
Hannah: I KNEW IT!
Tess: Stop it.
Hannah: Was it good?
Tess: Best ever.
Hannah: See, I told you. If it’s with someone you love it has to be extraordinary, magical.
Tess: You’re a dreamer, but you might be right.
Hannah: Are you two officially an item?
Tess: I won’t release any official statement until I talk to Dad and Sadie.
Hannah: Fine. I won’t say a thing.
Tess: What did he say?
Hannah: Dad?
Hannah: That he’s going to find acid to destroy Gage’s remains after he kills him.
Hannah: He’s bluffing though.
“Is everything okay?” Gage asked.
“Yeah. Hannah’s just telling me how much our father is freaking out about you,” I said, sucking on my lower lip. “I wish we could be a little less open about this with him.”
“Sorry,” he apologized. “He’s going to know every time I come see you. Is that okay with you?”
“Wait. Why?”
“He has to know my schedule.”
I rested my head against the leather seat and closed my eyes. “I love my father, but he’s overbearing sometimes.”
“We’ll make this work. The distance, your father, and anything that comes in between us, okay?”
“Okay,” I agreed, hoping that he had all the answers, because as much as I wanted to continue with him, I just couldn’t see it working in the long run.
Twenty-Two
Tess
My routine, while I went to school, was simple. Classes, tests, meals, and homework with sleep whenever it was possible. During my free time, I talked to Gage and my family. He visited me a couple of times. I hadn’t had time to fly home, and my family wasn’t thrilled about it.
On Halloween night, I was wearing my rattiest clothing and ready to pull an all nighter. I had a test the following morning and couldn’t concentrate. It had been twelve days and eleven hours since the last time we’d kissed. And my biggest worry was that we wouldn’t be able to see each other until Thanksgiving or Christmas.
I wasn’t scared of any monsters that day. I feared that Gage and I would drift apart. It had been almost twenty-four hours since the last time we talked or texted. I worked hard not to become obsessed over his schedule or the time apart, but there were days when I missed him so much I hardly breathed.
Sadie: Where are you?
I squinted at my phone not understanding the question.
Tess: At home.
Sadie: Your dad tried to call you earlier.
I rolled my eyes and FacedTimed her. Knowing Dad, he was about to call the National Guard.
“Hey,” I greeted her when her face appeared on the screen.
; “You don’t have a costume?”
“Nah, I have homework and I have to study,” I said staring at my pajama bottoms and the raggedy sweater Grandpa Bell gifted me when I turned seventeen.
For a second, I stared at her strange orange, pointy hat that looked like a beak. “I take it you’re a penguin.”
“We’re the penguins of Madagascar,” she said with a smile.
“Kieran’s idea?”
She nodded. “Better than last year’s Dinosaur Train, don’t you think?”
I laughed remembering the pictures they’d sent me. Dad made the train out of cardboard boxes. Grandpa helped him. Sadie made all the costumes. I wish I had been there last year or that I could be there today.
“You found her?” Dad spoke, but I couldn’t see him.
“Where is he?” I tried to look around the screen.
“He’s outside, hosting the party,” she said while she moved.
“You’re having a party?”
“Yes, we set up the zoo from the movie,” she explained. “Kaden tried to call earlier and couldn’t reach you. I volunteered to track you down.”
“Ha! You wanted to get away from the crowd.”
“That too.” She smiled.
“Hey, sweetheart.” Dad appeared on the screen next to Sadie wearing a penguin hat too, and a bow tie.
“You look dashing, Dad,” I grinned. “You should get the band back together. I think that you’re bored. How’s your latest project going?”
“Gage is doing great,” he answered. “Have you heard his new single on the radio?” he growled.
Dad’s face turned a bright red and the vein on his temple throbbed.
“Uh-oh. What happened?”
“Nothing too serious. If you talk to him, tell him that I’m not happy.”
“What are you talking about?”
“That new song that started playing on YouTube,” he answered.
“It’s perfect,” and he wrote it for me.
Last night he’d texted asking me to upload a video he’d sent me, but to watch it first. I died and went to heaven when I heard him professing his love for me. That was the last time I talked to him. And from what Dad was saying, he was MIA.
“When you see him, tell him to call me,” he said. “If he wants to soar, he has to follow my lead. He’s not allowed to release songs just because he wants to,” Dad huffed.
My father worked hard for Gage. He was doing a fantastic job with his career. It had been only a few weeks, but the response toward him was beyond their wildest dreams. It was a combination of Gage’s talent and Dad’s connections. My father had gone above and beyond for him. He called in favors from other artists he knew and radio stations that already loved his music. He called DJ’s, talk show hosts, and reporters.
“Move on, Kade,” Sadie told him. “You’ve done your share of crazy things.”
Dad looked at me and asked, “Are you dressed as a desperate student in the middle of mid-terms?”
I glared at him. “No, I'm just me. There are no parties this year. It’s Monday, and I have a test tomorrow. Only a crazy person would organize one.”
“In our defense, Kieran goes to pre-school, and we’re trying to avoid trick-or-treating,” Sadie said. “I’d rather have these kids at my house for a couple of hours than try to walk around the neighborhood hunting candy. The neighbors are miles away from here.”
“You got a point,” I agreed with her.
“What did you decide about your credits?” she asked. “We saw you’re taking more, but what class did you add?”
After taking a year off because of my mental health, I wanted to make up for lost time. By adding one more course to my load and staying for the summer, I’d be able to graduate with my original class. Then, I planned on going to grad school.
“I added Marine Conservation Biology to this quarter,” I explained. “So I’m a little stressed out.”
Taking a deep breath, I let out the second thing I wanted to talk about with them. “So, remember that trip to Costa Rica?”
“No. We said no,” Dad glared at me.
“I’ll be home for Christmas and New Year’s,” I reminded him. “I’d be leaving for Costa Rica right after.”
“What is it for?” Sadie asked.
“No,” Dad didn’t let me say anything else.
“Sadie?” I looked at her with pleading eyes.
“Send us the information again and explain exactly who you’ll be going with. Sending you alone to another country it’s a little scary for us,” she explained.
“Okay, I’ll send you the information. Just a reminder, it’s a school sponsored trip. The faculty is organizing it,” I said while opening my laptop. “It’s not just me going wherever.”
“Does this count as a credit?” Sadie, the logical of the two, asked.
“It might. I’ll find out and give you all the information.”
“Why don’t we book a vacation instead?” Dad suggested. “You should enjoy your college years while you can. Sadie says that all the time. And you’re really young.”
“Each person is different. You had a baby at nineteen,” Sadie reminded him. “A beautiful one, by the way.”
“True, and I had to work a lot,” he said, his eyes a little lost.
“Why did you travel so much when we were little?” I dared to ask since they brought it up.
“Money, among other things. I didn’t have what I have now or a wife who worked. Not that Sadie needs to work, but we have a double income. But I want you to know, that if things had been different, I’d have taken time off to watch you grow. Why are you asking?”
“No reason. You’re just different with them.”
“You need to stop doubting yourself,” he said. “I love you as much as I love your siblings. It was a different time.”
“Hey, it was just a question.”
“There’s always a reason for your questions, sweetheart.”
I chewed on my lip trying to come up with a different subject when there was a knock on my door.
“No,” I growled.
“What happened?” He narrowed his gaze.
“Somebody’s knocking, and I don’t have any candy,” I confessed.
“Your mom just sent a care package, there’s always something sweet in there,” Dad said, and I stared at the screen unsure of what would be the appropriate thing to say: Sadie is not my mom, or can I call her mom?
There was a second round of knocks and then a text that interrupted me.
Gage: Where are you?
“Why do people keep asking me that? I’m at home,” I screamed in frustration.
“Then open up, baby,” I heard his voice from the other side of the door.
“Daddy, I'll call you later.”
“You’re ditching me for Gage Rodin?”
“How do you know?”
“You only call me Daddy when he’s around.”
“Well, you get a little growly when my boyfriend is around.”
“I forbid you to use the b-word in my presence.”
“Bye, Dad.” I waved at him before I cut off the conversation.
Twenty-Three
Gage
“Happy Halloween,” I said when Tess opened the door.
She frowned, confused by my t-shirt. It read “This is my human costume, I’m a zombie.”
“Not sure what’s funnier,” she chuckled. “The t-shirt or how cute you look carrying a plushy.”
I handed her the stuffed turtle I’d purchased at the mall for her yesterday while I was with Mom. It seemed like a good present and a great excuse to visit Tess.
“A turtle,” I handed it to her. “For my beautiful turtle.”
“I’m a turtle?”
“Yeah,” I said, pulling out the jewelry box from my backpack. “You like to hide under your shell and make everyone think that you’re made out of steel. But you’re a softy on the inside.”
“I love you,” she said, setting everyth
ing I handed her on her messy desk.
My pulse accelerated when I finally heard those three words. “What did you just say?”
Her amber eyes grew a couple of sizes, and she snapped her mouth closed.
“Oh no, you said it once, you have to repeat it.”
She hooked her arms behind my neck, raised herself on tiptoe and looked me in the eyes with anticipation, hunger, and most of all, with love.
“I love you, Gage Alexander Rodin.”
My heart exploded inside my chest with her words. It’s wasn’t anything new. I’d known for a long time that she felt more than she let on. She didn’t verbalize her feelings, but her eyes and her body told me everything I needed to know.
I tilted her chin up, “I love you too, my beautiful Tess.”
Then, I wrapped my arms around her, and my mouth was on hers. I kissed her slowly, deeply as we clung to each other. I couldn’t remember ever feeling as deeply as she made me feel.
We undressed quickly, peeling off each other’s clothes. I’d wanted to be inside her, and her behavior told me she wanted it as much as I did.
“Wait,” I said, grabbing my pants to search for the condoms I’d brought.
“Can we skip it?” she requested, pushing me into the chair next to her desk. “Whatever happened to ‘we’re both clean’ and ‘we should be each other’s first?’”
“If you’re ready,” I mumbled, dumbfounded by her actions and words. She was finally letting me into her world and accepting that we were a couple.
“Fuck,” I gasped as she climbed into my lap and lowered her body slowly until I was inside of her.
The velvety feel of being inside her almost made me come at contact, but I controlled myself. We stayed together, still for a few beats. Our eyes connected and our mouths were close enough so that I could feel the warmth of her breath. Our naked chests rose and fell with each breath we took.
At that moment I knew we’d be together for the rest of our lives. Nothing would separate us. Not even death. I kissed her, moving my hands along her body, touching every inch as she bounced up and down. She gripped my shoulders hard, her nails almost cutting my skin as I slid my hand between our bodies and began to play with her clit.
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