by Lucy Score
39
“I’m not sure how we got talked into this,” Gloria confessed to the woman next to her. Harper had somehow managed to convince Joni, Claire, and Gloria to help her run herd on Mrs. Agosta’s three foster kids at the Fourth of July festival. Mrs. Agosta was a lovely woman in her early 70s who was absolutely worn out by three energetic kids.
“Harper can be very convincing,” Joni said, looking fondly in Harper’s direction. Harper was juggling Ava, the toddler, on her hip while Henry danced around her listing all of the festival food he wanted to eat. Robbie, the oldest, stood a few steps away from his younger siblings and pretended he didn’t know them.
Biting her lip, Gloria overstepped her bounds. “I think it’s wonderful that you two are getting to know each other,” she confessed.
Joni sighed. “I wasted a lot of time grieving, blaming, and wishing things could have turned out differently. I missed out on a lot of living. Harper helped me see that.”
“She’s good at that, isn’t she?” Gloria said with a smile.
“Gloria, there you are!” Kate Marshall jogged up, her two teenagers shuffling behind her. “You pulled it off,” she said, sweeping an arm around the park. “I’ve been looking for you all day to tell you what a great job you did.”
“Thank you. I really enjoyed it,” Gloria said, flushing with pleasure. She remembered this feeling. Approval.
“Don’t be surprised if I call you about Christmas.” Kate gave her a wink and then hustled the kids off in the direction of the taco truck.
Gloria had to admit the carnival-like atmosphere was magic. Dusk was falling, and the lakefront park was lit up with neon lights and carnival music. There were rides and games and food stands everywhere. It looked as though the entire town had turned out for it.
Flying high on accomplishment and praise, she laughed while Claire and Joni fed the kids dollars to win the requisite carnival fish. “Guess you’re going aquarium shopping tomorrow,” Gloria teased Harper when Robbie’s ping pong ball splashed into the fishbowl.
“Crap!” Harper said in exasperation before perking up. “Laugh all you want. Because here comes trouble for you.”
Aldo Moretta, clean-shaven and sporting cargo shorts, boat shoes, and a navy-blue t-shirt that molded itself to his chest, was walking toward her. Not just walking. Striding. A man on a mission. An Italian god among mortals.
Gloria briefly considered dropping her funnel cake on the ground and running in the opposite direction. But his speed this morning had looked good as he crossed the finish. She wasn’t sure she could outdistance him.
“Oh, God. Why do I have this reaction to him?” she whispered.
“Just enjoy it,” Harper hissed at her. “Ask him if he wants to watch the fireworks with us.” And with a helpful shove forward, her traitor friend disappeared back to the goldfish stand where the children in her care were racking up a school of fish.
“Hey,” Aldo said, closing the distance between them.
Yep. He was definitely talking to her. On purpose. “Hi,” Gloria croaked.
“Do you have a minute to talk?” he asked, nodding his head in the direction of the lake.
Big Chicken Gloria reared her terrified head for a minute. It was safer to be mad at him. Easier to keep her distance. She should brush him off like he’d done to her.
Her lack of response had him stepping a little closer. She could smell his soap. Who knew soap could be sexy?
“I believe I owe you both an apology and an explanation.” His voice was low and a little rough. It stroked over her skin.
“You know, I don’t think you really owe me anything—” she began.
He closed his eyes for a second. “Come on, Glo. Don’t chicken out on me now. You have no idea what it took to get me here to you right now. The least you can do is listen to me before you decide to blow me off.”
“Blow you off? Who blew who off?” she demanded, crossing her arms over her chest.
Aldo blinked then grinned.
“And don’t even think about making a blow job joke,” she said, poking him in his chest with her finger.
Aldo captured her hand, engulfing it in his. Everything about him was so big, solid.
“I’m not making blow job jokes,” he promised.
“Then what are you smiling at?” She pulled her hand back and was marginally disappointed when he let her have it.
“You’re yelling at me,” he said. “You’re not apologizing.”
“What do I have to apologize for?” she gasped, incensed.
Aldo winced. “I’m doing a really bad job of complimenting you.”
“You’re damn right you are,” Gloria snorted. “Say something nice about my hair or my shoes or my eyes. Don’t ask me why I’m not apologizing to you.”
He stepped in on her while she was too incensed to notice the danger of a full-court press from Aldo Moretta. He slid his hand into her hair behind her ear, and her body went on sexy time alert. Holy hell. They were standing in the middle of the festival she’d organized, and she felt like they were alone in the summer night.
“Your hair is so soft, I spent hours every day while I was gone wondering what it would feel like to bury my hands and face in it.”
“Oh,” Gloria choked out.
“Your shoes are the sexiest thing I’ve ever seen. I’ve always had a thing for white tennis shoes.”
Goose bumps, a bumper crop of them, had the hair on her arms standing straight up.
“And your eyes. Brown and gold.” She could feel his breath on her face and realized her own had stopped. “I’ve never seen eyes like yours. They pull me in like a riptide. I could drown in them if you let me.”
Could a woman pass out from compliments? Gloria had a feeling she was about to find out.
“Thank you.” Through sheer force of will, Gloria managed to choke the words out.
“I’m just getting started, Glo. But first, I owe you. Can we talk?”
If he led her off into the dark, there were no guarantees that she’d keep her shorts on. In fact, signs were definitely leaning toward her ripping them off and twirling them over her head. And she wasn’t the sort of woman to get naked at public events. Especially not ones that she’d organized.
“Fine. Let’s talk by the hot dog stand.” She turned and headed in the direction of the obnoxious red and yellow neon. Nothing soured sexual feelings like hot dog water. She wasn’t jumping to forgiveness. Not without a legitimate apology. She deserved that.
He caught up to her easily and walked next to her. Gloria wondered if they could be mistaken for any of the other number of normal couples strolling the park grounds. Couples, partners. Could she ever have that? Would she ever be normal?
She took a seat on the unoccupied park bench and was instantly bathed in the smell of hot dogs.
Aldo sat next to her, taking up space like it was his job. He crossed his left leg over his right and then, glancing down at the prosthesis, immediately uncrossed it.
“Does it bother you?” Gloria asked, looking at his left leg.
“Does it bother you?” he countered. His voice was gruff, earnest.
“It bothers me that you were hurt,” she said carefully.
He ran his palms nervously over his knees and stared at the ground. “Could you still be with me…like this?”
“Like what?” Gloria wasn’t sure where he was going with this.
He sighed, paused. “Damaged,” he said finally.
“Are you talking about your leg or being an asshole?”
His gaze swiveled to her. “My leg.”
“I have a much bigger problem with you being a jerk to me than I do you having one regular leg and one prosthetic one. Does losing a leg make you less of a man? Of course not. But does being a moody, self-absorbed asshole make you less attractive? In my book it does.”
“You saw the scars,” he began again.
Gloria turned sideways on the bench to face him and took his hand. “Aldo,” she said softly. “
I don’t care if you’re ‘damaged,’” she said, throwing his own word back at him. “You and me? We’re not wounded. We’re scarred.”
Closing his eyes, he brought their joined hands to his lips and kissed her knuckles.
“The thing about a scar?” Gloria continued. “It means we’re healing. It means we’re survivors. What you don’t like is that you have to do your healing in front of everyone. Everyone gets a front row seat to your pain and your healing, and that’s what you hate.”
“Would it be weird if I told you I loved you and asked you to marry me right now?”
“No jokes,” she admonished. “Talk to me.”
“I’m having…trouble,” Aldo confessed. She could tell the words cost him and stayed quiet. “There was pain. I mean, of course there was pain. I’m missing a fucking leg. But I couldn’t sleep. Still don’t sleep well. Every time I close my eyes, I’m back there at that moment. The explosion. Waking up in so much pain I thought I could die from it. Not knowing if everyone else was okay. My friend Steph. She was shot. Luke was so fucking lucky that he didn’t take a bullet for me. I could have gotten them all killed.”
Gloria squeezed his hand so tight her circulation complained.
“And then I come back, and I’m not me. I’m still alive, but I’m just going through the motions. Life goes on all around you, but you’re left…”
“Sitting in your own pain,” Gloria finished for him.
His jaw tightened, and Aldo swallowed hard. “Yeah. I had plans for when I came home. Plans that involved you. But you deserve someone who can protect you. Someone who can keep you safe for a change. You deserve that, Gloria.”
With her free hand, Gloria pinched the bridge of her nose. “Are you saying you don’t want to be with me because you lost a leg and you think I need a two-legged man to ride up and play the white knight? Because if you are, that’s really, really stupid.”
40
“Do you think I’m damaged?” Gloria was looking at him like she expected an answer. And Aldo had no idea what answer she wanted.
“Do you think that me spending ten years in a controlling, abusive relationship damaged me? Made me unlovable? Made me more work than I’m worth?”
This was not going well, Aldo thought. He should have started with flowers and a nice apology card.
“Yoo-hoo! Gloria!” Georgia Rae beelined for them, double-fisting hotdogs. She was plump and festive in her American flag applique sleeveless sweater.
“Oh, sweet baby Jesus,” Gloria whispered under her breath. She released his hand and scooted an inch away from him. And Aldo hated himself for feeling rejected. “Hi, Georgia Rae. Are you enjoying your Fourth?”
“You did a magnificent job, my dear,” the woman said, gesturing wildly with said hot dogs. “I can’t remember the last time I enjoyed a Fourth of July like this. I’m not just saying that because you took care of the crapper situation!”
Gloria choked on a laugh. “I’m glad you’re having a good time.”
“You did good,” Georgia Rae nodded decisively. “And you!” She shifted her attention to Aldo. “That was some race this morning. You had us all blubbering. Welcome home, honey.”
“Thanks, Georgia Rae,” Aldo said, feeling awkward and wanting desperately to get back to Gloria’s question.
She blew them both kisses with hot dogs and fluttered off into the crowd.
But before he could steer the conversation back to the intimate, Linc Reed, the gargantuan fire chief, let out a wolf whistle. “Well, well, well. If it isn’t Moretta. You know, man. I was kinda hoping that the whole leg thing would slow you down so I’d have a shot at the Jingle Bell 5k. But I’m not so sure about victory after this morning.”
Aldo stood for the requisite handshake and shoulder slap. “Funny guy.”
“And Gorgeous Gloria,” Linc said, shooting her an exaggerated wink. “You ready for another dance?”
Ah, shit. Linc and Gloria? Aldo kicked himself for not warning his friend off of Gloria. Linc was a ladies’ man, but he respected his friends.
“Hey, Linc,” Gloria said. She gave him a friendly smile, but it didn’t seem too friendly, too familiar. Not that it was any of his business. Not only had Aldo practically begged her to date while he was deployed, he’d also been a Grade A dick when he came back. If she wanted to be with a golden god of debauchery with two working legs, Aldo technically had nothing to say. Her choices were her own.
“I don’t know if you noticed, but this little lady pulled all of this together,” Linc told Aldo, waving a hand around the fairgrounds. “You should have seen her at the org meetings, answering questions, taking notes, wheelin’ and dealin’.”
Gloria was blushing now. And Aldo wanted to deck his friend. This was his shot at winning her back, not Linc’s.
“Man, you look like you’re gonna puke. Is it the hot dog smell?” Linc asked.
“I need you to go away. Far, far away,” Aldo said in a low voice.
Linc’s gaze flicked from Aldo to Gloria and back again. He grinned. “I think I hear some fresh-cut fries calling my name. You two have a nice night.” He turned and lowered his voice so only Aldo could hear him. “Try not to fuck it up, man.”
“Trying.”
Linc wandered off, leaving the two of them alone again finally.
“You did a great job with all of this,” Aldo said, returning to the bench.
“Thanks,” she said, almost shyly. “I wanted to do something. Show everyone I wasn’t just poor little Gloria Parker.”
“If they think that, they don’t know you at all.”
Gloria gave a dry laugh. “Isn’t it ironic?”
“What?”
She tucked her hands between her knees. “You’ve spent your whole life being larger than life. Respected, admired. You’re scared of losing that because your body is different. For me, all I’ve ever wanted is to be seen. To have people wave to me on the street. To belong. Damage makes you feel like you don’t deserve it.”
“You deserve everything good in this life.” The vehemence in his tone surprised them both.
“I’m not so sure about that,” she confessed. “But what I want to know is why would you assume that being an amputee makes you less worthy? If that line of thinking proves true, wouldn’t it mean that me choosing to endure ten years of systemic abuse makes me unworthy of being loved?”
“You didn’t choose it,” he argued.
“I had more of a say in my shit than you did,” she pointed out.
He hated that she felt that way. “You’re here now,” Aldo insisted.
“And so are you. Are we going to sit around and have a pissing match over scars? Or are we going to do something with this second chance we’ve both been gifted?”
He hoped to God that second chance that she mentioned was the relationship kind. “I don’t want you to have to fight any more battles, Gloria.”
“That’s funny because I’m thinking the only way I’m going to grow is by fighting a few of my own battles.”
He closed his eyes, the wisdom of her words washing over him. “I’ve waited so long for my chance with you, and I’ve done everything I can to fuck it all up.”
“Well, at least I know you’re human.”
“I was an asshole. I was terrified, I still am, of what this new life is going to look like. What I can and can’t do. I’m exhausted from trying to get back to where I started, and I’m so far from that.”
“One step at a time,” she reminded him.
His laugh was bitter. “I’m not a one-step kind of guy.”
“Yeah. You’re a balls-to-the-wall, sprint-a-marathon-and-then-bench-press-the-losers kind of guy.” She bumped his shoulder, letting him know she was joking. “But look at it this way. If you come back from this, you’ve proved to yourself and everybody out there exactly how tough you are.”
“I want to prove it to you.”
“First, your explanation and apology,” she insisted.
“Whe
n I came home, I was in a dark place. I thought you deserved better than a bitter, wounded vet. I want you to feel safe, and I don’t see how you could feel like that with me.”
“Safety doesn’t come from being physically secure, Aldo. I’ll feel safe with a man that I can count on to respect me.”
He flinched. His reaction to her welcome home had been the exact opposite.
“I’m sorry for taking my shit out on you. I’m sorry for shutting you out and pushing you away.”
“Are you going to do it again?” she pressed.
He shook his head. “I’ll never do it on purpose again.” He was nothing if not honest.
She looked him in the eye, nodded. “Okay then. You’re forgiven. But if you feel like taking something out on me again, think twice. I don’t let that happen anymore.”
He couldn’t help himself. Aldo slid his arm around her shoulders and held her against him. Her small body fit his like a puzzle piece. “I’m really proud of you, Glo.”
“I’m pretty proud of you, too,” she said softly. She was looking at his mouth, her lids heavy, lips full.
He could kiss her, right here on this bench as Benevolence celebrated around them. But when he moved in, she put a hand on his chest. “Aldo. Don’t you think we should focus on being friends for a little while? I mean given how vulnerable we both are right now, we could both use a friend. Relationships can be…complicated.”
Aldo couldn’t calm the fear that kicked up inside him. The friend zone was not his final destination.
“I want more, Gloria. My feelings for you aren’t just friendly. I don’t want to pressure you, but I don’t want to settle either.”
“Aldo, we literally just made up. I don’t know if I can trust you to not go back to New Aldo who can’t stand me.”
Aldo drummed his fingers on his knee. “Okay. How about a compromise? We date platonically.”
“Like friends without benefits?” Gloria asked, looking at him like he’d lost his damn mind.
“Like we see each other exclusively. I prove to you I can be trusted, and you learn to date in a healthy relationship.”
She frowned, considering. “I can’t decide if this is the smartest idea I’ve ever heard or a really big mistake we’re both about to make.”