by Lily Zante
Not only had he been a welcome sight first thing in the morning, he now provided a distraction for her that was much needed.
Each time she thought of Matt, regret trampled all over her.
Noah seemed the opposite. He was light to Matt’s darkness. But then in the beginning, before she’d really gotten to know him, she’d thought Matt was the best thing ever.
Maybe she was just lousy at reading guys.
Heather had seen through Matt straightaway. So why hadn’t she? Maybe she was taking this little infatuation too far. What was the point of looking further when she hadn’t officially declared her present relationship over?
Things with Heather were still awkward, and they had avoided seeing one another in the morning as she left for work. She didn’t relish the thought of walking into her home. No more than she looked forward to bumping into Matt. So far she hadn’t bumped into him at work either. Nor had he sent her any emails or texts. For that she was thankful. Each time she heard the faint ding of the elevator in the distance, her heart stopped, as she wondered if he’d stepped onto their floor. Where once she’d enjoyed looking forward to his visits, now she dreaded the thought of seeing him again.
She needed to finish it. But something told her it wasn’t going to be as easy as speaking the words out loud.
Concentrate, Melissa. She attempted another read through of the report she’d typed up for Nadine. At this rate she’d never catch any errors and Nadine wanted to submit it to Mr. Zimmerman and the senior management for tomorrow’s meeting. The Flight people would be in, which meant Nadine wanted everything one hundred and ten percent perfect.
“Hi.” Her insides shrank at the sound of that voice. She glanced up. The sight of Matt removed all traces of expression from her face. He looked wary, cautious, and without his usual hint of haughty arrogance.
“Hi.”
“I didn’t see you all day.” Matt waited, hands by his sides, a looped up cable in one hand.
“I’ve been busy.” Her body tensed in her chair.
“I’m sorry…about yesterday.” It was only because she saw the whites of his knuckles that she noticed he gripped the cable tightly. She trailed her gaze from his hands to his face. “I’d never hurt you, Mel.”
You already did.
She said nothing, because she didn’t want an argument or a debate. He’d come to declare his side of things so that she’d see things his way—that was how he normally operated.
“What’s the matter?” he asked, putting down the cable on her desk and leaning towards her. She felt her knees quake, as fear washed over her. She moved back a little in her chair.
“I’m busy. I have to check something for Nadine.” She silently willed him to go away.
“Mel, I’m sorry.” His eyes softened. “I wish we didn’t argue. Let me make it up to you.” He leaned in further so that his thighs rested against the edge of the desk.
“Can we talk about it another time? I have to get this to Nadine—”
“Or else,” he said. “I know. I know she’s a pain in the butt.”
“She isn’t. She’s a perfectionist, and she’s my boss. So I’d rather you didn’t bad mouth her to me.”
He appeared to scrutinize her carefully. She’d normally let things pass, all of his snarky comments and hurtful remarks, whether they were about her or someone else. For some reason, the way he spoke about Nadine caught her at a bad moment and she wasn’t ready to hear crap from him.
“Can I see you tonight? We could go out for a drink or something?” The pleading in his voice caught her off guard and she considered going with him—to have that talk now rather than later. Her hesitation seemed to throw him. She glanced back at him, knowing the familiar pattern. He’d want to make up, and she’d give in. And then after a while, he’d say or do something else that pissed her off. If there was to be a break, it had to come from her. What she needed was some distance.
“Not tonight. It’s been a busy day.” She never wanted to be in that situation with him ever again.
“I’m away tomorrow, and for the rest of a week, on a course. We’ll be staying there so I won’t see you for a while.”
Her heart leapt with joy and she tried not to bring to the surface the smile that lurked beneath.
“We can catch up when you’re back,” she said easily.
He looked disappointed. “I was hoping we could catch up tonight. Just dinner. I promise. A week seems like a long time to go without seeing you. Please, Mel. I’m sensing things are a bit weird between us.” It wasn’t in his nature to beg, so she gave him her full attention.
“Sometimes I wish you’d listen to what I say. Instead of railroading me into doing whatever it is that you want.” Normally she would have given in to him by now, but this time her steadfast response, while it surprised him, surprised her even more. Something inside her had shifted, infinitesimally.
“I’ll make it up to you, I promise.” Words she’d heard before, she thought.
“I can’t see you tonight and if you mean what you say, you won’t force me. I’ll see you next week sometime.”
The veins in his neck raised up. “If that’s what you want.”
“It’s what I’m asking.”
By then, she’d be getting ready to go home for Christmas. But he didn’t need to know that.
“Have it your way.”
She watched him walk away, feeling a sense of relief that things in her life were about to get back to normal.
Chapter 14
She felt free and knew that it was a definite sign of the chains she needed to break. If the idea of Matt being away for a week gave her a sense of freedom, then it was clearly proof that the relationship was toxic.
She and Heather had reached a truce over the weekend and had even made dinner together yesterday before talking about the coming week and work. She was going home next week for Christmas and Heather would be away too.
They had a week to make good on their recent disagreement and with Matt out of the picture, and all conversation about him forbidden, it was easy enough for their friendship to slowly revert back to normal.
For Melissa, this was the fourth day she had come to work early, taking her time as she hung around outside the coffee shop each morning in a bid to catch sight of Noah.
She wanted to see him again—and with Matt being away there would be no danger of getting caught. Not that she was doing anything she needed to feel guilty about. After all, she and Noah were nothing more than coffee buddies.
She wasn’t ending things with Matt to clear the way for Noah, because she didn’t know how Noah felt. She wasn’t entirely sure she knew how she felt. She knew only that each time she saw him she spent the rest of the day thinking about him.
But the week that could have afforded her more time to see him soon melted away. Monday melted into Tuesday, by Wednesday she was beginning to lose hope and by Thursday she’d given up the idea completely. She was also by now completely fed up of having a blueberry muffin three days in a row.
Her attempts to catch him, as casually as she could without making it so obvious she’d done nothing but lookout for him, had only resulted in her piling on the calories.
Picking up her skinny latte she started to walk towards the door.
“Hey, Melissa.” He was in the line, patiently waiting as she made her way out. He looked happy enough to see her too and her heart did that woozy, fluttering thing it always seemed to when Noah was around. But her hopes crashed down just as fast. Mr. Zimmerman had called a staff meeting first thing in the morning—she couldn’t stay any longer even if she wanted to.
“Noah,” she said, making his name sound like a disappointment. You turn up now?
“Where’ve you been?” he asked.
“Here, working as usual.” Where have you been?
“Here? I looked out for you.”
She fixed him with a puzzled expression. “I’ve been here every day, some days early, some days later.” L
ooking for you, I tried all different times.
“I’ve been at different times too.”
She almost laughed. It was comical, and yet so frustrating. “We must have missed one another.”
“So we meet today.”
“I can’t stay.” Her disappointment obvious at the missed opportunity.
He, too, looked as disappointed as she felt. Either she’d walk out of here and they’d go back to the random bumping into one another, or…
“I sometimes grab a sandwich from here around lunchtime.” He said.
“I could grab a sandwich for lunch.”
“So maybe I’ll see you here? Around one?”
“Maybe.” It was crazy, weird. But it was real. He had actually, in a roundabout way, asked her to meet him for a sandwich here at one o’clock. And she’d accepted.
It wasn’t a date. It was only lunch.
Chapter 15
So as not to miss any chance of seeing her, Noah arrived at the coffee shop by a quarter to one. He had told her a little white lie. He never walked all the way here for his lunch. There were plenty of sandwich shops closer to his workplace.
But on hearing that he’d missed her every morning, and with her being in a hurry this morning, he didn’t want to waste any more time.
He wasn’t sure, but he got the impression that she was interested. He’d have to probe deeper without seeming to probe deeper. She obviously had stuff going on, and he couldn’t push too much. But he would be here for her if she needed a listening ear. And goodness knew that girl looked like she could do with a listening ear most mornings.
He could do coffees for as long as it took.
He watched as she walked in quickly, having seen her cross the road from where he sat. She rushed in, all red-faced, and he watched her for the few seconds while she scanned the room, looking for him. Each time he saw her, he glimpsed another facet to her personality—this girl who was no longer a stranger.
Her gaze located him, and she waved, then pointed to his unopened sandwich and mouthed, “I’ll get mine too.”
He nodded, and waited, watching her again until she got her lunch on a tray and walked towards him.
“Were you waiting long?”
“No.” Half an hour waiting for her wouldn’t be long. Fifteen minutes was nothing. He’d thought about suggesting they go someplace else, but then he didn’t want to come across too heavy and scare her off. A sandwich was a sandwich—nothing else. If he suggested a proper lunch, it might be too much. Small steps, he told himself. “This is a first,” she said, sitting down.
“Meeting for the second time in a day?”
“Meeting for lunch, at that.” She seemed freer, unhurried. Whatever it was that had made her so sad the other day seemed to have passed.
“So, Noah, from the Black Diamond group.”
“Yes, Melissa, from the Zimmerman Group. How’s your day been?”
“Busy. But good busy. You know how sometimes you can have miserable-as-hell-busy? Today wasn’t one of those days. I still have energy.”
“You seem a lot more cheerful today.”
She colored, and he knew she’d been reminded of the conversation last week. “That’s just”—she stopped chewing, and raised her eyes to his—“people sometimes.”
Someone at work was being difficult?
“The dynamics of the work environment.” He bit into his sandwich.
“Something like that.”
They ate quietly for a while, amidst the constant filling up and emptying of tables around them. “Next week everything will start to grind to a halt,” he commented. It would be Christmas. A time he dreaded.
“I’m so looking forward to Christmas,” said Melissa. “I’m leaving on Monday to go home for a few days.”
“Yeah?” he said, not wanting to talk about what his Christmas would be like. “I’m going to move into a shared apartment with one of my friends.”
“A busy time for you then?”
“It sure is.” Finally. Moving on.
“Who’re you sharing with?”
“My friend, Paul. The shorter commute will be great. It’s taking me about an hour fifteen traveling in from where I am at the moment.”
“That long?” she asked, looking horrified. “Bet you can’t wait to move.”
“I’m looking forward to it,” he agreed. Then told her, “I’m off tomorrow. I think I need to start packing my things. Something tells me it’s going to be busy and silly to move over Christmas.”
She finished off her sandwich, chewed thoughtfully. “It might be the perfect time, when everyone else is winding down, to push on ahead and get moved. The chances are it’ll be relatively quiet elsewhere.”
“That’s what I thought.” That, and because he wanted to make the move happen before the one year anniversary.
They were making small talk, polite talk. But he wanted to ask if she had a boyfriend, to probe around the outer edge of those relationship boundaries. He wanted to know if she was single and interested. Because he was. And all things being equal, if she was single and interested, then they could make plans of some sort.
But he didn’t want to push too much, too soon. It was different from knowing Bree. They’d had history from high school and added to their history by getting together a second time.
This thing with Melissa was completely new to him. It wasn’t even as if they knew a mutual third party whom they could each consult for updates on the other’s current relationship status.
This was new territory for him, and the only way to not blow it would be to take it slow, let things unfold. If he had a chance, he’d get to find out in due course.
“I’m looking forward to being in the city, bright lights and all that.”
“Yeah. We love it. There’s so many great bars and restaurants close by, and you can pretty much walk to most places, as you know.”
His breath had hitched on the “we.” She’s taken.
“Heather and I usually go out once a week.” He relaxed a little at this. The faint ringtone of a cell phone sounded close by. Melissa continued, “There’s a cool new bar called Zoot that’s opened not far from here.” She reached into her bag and drew out the cell phone.
“I’ve heard of it,” he said. Paul had mentioned something about a Zoot recently. “Go ahead,” he said, when she looked up at him, almost apologetically, then with a hardened expression on her face, she cut the call off.
“It can wait.”
A sound tinged again before she’d had the chance to put the phone out of sight.
“You recommend Zoot?” he asked her, but her attention diverted to the cell phone.
“Ignore that. Sometimes I get texts about work.” He watched her flick a few buttons before she shoved the cell phone into her bag. “Zoot, you should try it.” She attempted to continue with the conversation, but he could tell that something had shaken her. Maybe the real pressure was work related. The good news for the day was that she lived with a girlfriend. And so far she hadn’t mentioned a guy.
The signs were looking good.
Chapter 16
“What’s going on?” Matt stood in front of her desk, shaking with anger.
“Nothing’s going on,” she said in a quiet voice, looking around her.
“You put me off with excuses all weekend and now that I’m back you’re on a half day and you’re going home for Christmas?”
“I-I—it’s what I always do. I thought I told you.”
“You went home for Thanksgiving, and you’re going again now? What about me?”
Don’t you have a home to go to? He sounded like an angry child.
She’d done the dirty on him, she knew she had; she’d been avoiding him the entire weekend, ever since he returned from the course. He hadn’t known about her detailed Christmas plans until a moment ago because she deliberately kept things vague with him—not wanting him to be any part of her plans, or her life.
When he’d been away on the c
ourse she thought she’d summoned up the courage to tell him she wanted out. But now that he was back, and she was faced with the sudden prospect of it, she decided against it. A few days before Christmas didn’t seem the right time anyway.
She was supposed to leave tomorrow morning to make her way home to her parents, but she’d decided to go this afternoon. She was on a half day as it was and she didn’t want to make herself available for Matt to hound her now that he had returned to work after his course.
The only reason she hadn’t asked Nadine for the morning off was because she was helping her put a presentation together.
He paced around furiously. “Is this to do with that misunderstanding?” Misunderstanding? Was that how he saw it? She’d put that episode to the back of her mind. And since then, her thoughts had circled around Noah, and their burgeoning friendship. She hadn’t technically done anything wrong. Having lunch with a guy who now occupied more of her thoughts wasn’t technically doing anything wrong.
“How many times do I have to apologize for that?” he hissed when she didn’t answer. Nadine opened her door and came out. “Thanks, Melissa. Great work. Here you go.” She handed Melissa her memory stick. “I don’t want you working on any of that during your break.”
She stayed by Melissa’s desk and looked at Matt, who suddenly looked sheepish. “I’ll see you later.” He mumbled gruffly and left.
“Is everything alright?” Nadine asked.
“Yes,” Melissa replied brightly, faking it. “I’m ready to leave—if you no longer need me.” She was anxious to go while she could—and before Matt accosted her again. She also knew she was deliberately avoiding Nadine’s question.
“I’m done. You’ve finished everything I wanted you to do.” Nadine hovered around. “You’re going home to see your parents?”
Melissa nodded. “How about you?”
“We’re spending time at home, doing nothing. Except on Christmas Day we’re having some of Ethan’s friends over. It should be good. You have a good holiday.”