by Lily Zante
“Yeah,” she lied. “Told you it wasn’t such a big deal. But he wasn’t going to hand them over. So I had to get them. You understand don’t you?”
“Totally. I’ve met the psycho, remember? Do you think he’ll try anything now?”
“No.” There was no need to.
“What if he finds out what you did?”
“I can’t see how he would,” replied Melissa. But it got her thinking all the same.
“How did Noah take all this?”
“I haven’t told him everything. We’re meeting up tomorrow.” Her mind had been on Noah the whole journey back home. He’d made sure Matt was busy and then walked her down the street, away from the apartment, and called her a cab, insisting on paying for it.
She wondered if there was ever any chance of things between them getting back to what they were before.
She’d even take going back to how it was in the beginning: random glimpses at the coffee shop.
She’d take whatever he was willing to give her.
Chapter 39
An evening that should ordinarily have been lackluster and a normal weekday evening, at that, had turned into something completely the opposite.
Noah fixed himself a sandwich in the kitchen. The temptation for comfort food was overwhelming and his taste buds started to water at the thought of a chicken and bacon sandwich.
A beacon of hope glimmered at the idea that Melissa might have an explanation for him—something that could tip things in her favor. Because ever since that day, when he’d caught her cheating, he’d fought hard to erase her from his thoughts. The feeling of betrayal hurt deep, especially when he’d analyzed all their past encounters and couldn’t see any clues that might have led him to suspect she’d be capable of this.
He would give her a final chance tomorrow to convince him she was not at fault.
“I’m sure I had them,” Matt muttered, looking around as he walked into the kitchen.
“What’re you looking for?” Noah asked, pulling out the grill and turning his bacon rashers over.
His roommate put his hands on his hips, looked around the kitchen and scowled. “Damn it. I had some software patches I needed.”
Noah shook his head. “Sorry. I’ve not seen them.” He got busy making his sandwich, leaving Matt to scout around the rest of the kitchen.
The outside door shut and a moment later, Paul breezed past them. “Hey, dude, have you seen my CDs? They were in a pile?” Matt asked Paul.
Noah’s head jerked up.
“CDs? Nah—sorry,” Paul replied. Matt started searching in the refrigerator. “The fridge? Seriously?” Paul asked.
“I’ve done that before. It’s not as stupid as it seems,” Matt said, moving jars of pickles around, with his head deep in the fridge.
“Sorry, not seen them. Maybe your g—” Paul started, but Noah jumped in and gave him a testy look.
“Hey, Matt, I’ve got some time now, if you want me to run through the application form with you.”
Matt’s face brightened. “Now? It would be a great help, especially as I’m close to the end date as it is. Do you have time?”
“Sure, right now as a matter of fact.”
“Want to go through it here?” asked Matt, suddenly excited.
“Sure.”
“I’ll get my list of questions.” He disappeared into his room.
“What was all that about?” asked Paul, turning to Noah with a quizzical look on his face.
Noah replied wearily, “You don’t want to know. Don’t mention anything about Melissa being here.”
His friend frowned at him in puzzlement, then shrugged. “Sure.” And headed towards his room.
Shit. Noah let out a sigh and stared at his bacon rashers. The smell of salty meat did nothing to elevate his mood.
Shit. Shit. Shit.
Now he had to spend time he didn’t have helping a guy he didn’t like, to get a job at his place—something he sure as hell didn’t want.
All to save a girl he wasn’t so sure about.
Chapter 40
“When exactly did you break up with him?” His voice was sharper than he’d intended, as the look of hurt in her eyes confirmed.
He could tell from the look of her, that she hadn’t slept well either. The rich, smooth aroma of coffee and pastries did nothing to lift the air of gloom that hung over them.
“I wanted to break up before Christmas, but I couldn’t bring myself to tell him.”
“Why not?” These questions had circled around his mind until the early hours. He wanted to make sure he had all the answers today.
“Because he is a …” She paused, as if searching for her words. “He’s a controlling guy. I didn’t think so at first. It was something that I came to notice the more time went on. I’d already decided, even before I went home for Christmas. But we didn’t see each other before then or rather I avoided meeting him, because I knew he’d get annoyed. He was angry with me for going home for Christmas anyway. I didn’t want to upset things more by breaking up with him, not before Christmas. I mean, that would be cruel.”
“When did you? Break up?”
The way she looked at him made him relent a little but he so hated the lying, so hated being in the dark about things which concerned him. Even though this was different, this was nothing like how things had been with Bree—he and Melissa had no relationship —just some heavy making out as a barometer of what they had felt for one another, once.
There was no real reason for him to even feel betrayed in this situation.
But he couldn’t deny that he’d had feelings for her. She’d bolstered him through these last few months, without knowing that she had, so for him to now find out that it had all been based on lies was a betrayal of sorts.
She’d hurt him.
“I told him the first day we got back to work after Christmas. We work at the same place—”
“You work together?”
“Yes,” she answered, her whispered confession erecting another barrier between them. She used to see him every morning—how could she have failed to mention her boyfriend? Noah shook his head softly. You lied to me the entire time.
“Go on,” he demanded, his insides sinking as he crumpled further into the chair.
“The day before New Year’s Eve I told him things between us weren’t working out and that I didn’t think we should be together. But he turned up on my doorstep later that same evening pleading for me to rethink things. He couldn’t accept that I wanted to break up. He suggested that maybe I needed some time apart—to help me to reconsider. So…” She paused to glance at him, to check if he was listening. He nodded, and she continued, in that same quiet, whispered hush of hers.
Like the whispered words she’d said to him that night she lay in his arms. He scrubbed his hands across his face, willing himself to forget that night with her.
“So I told him—because I didn’t want the drama of a scene on New Year’s that we could have a break, but I was hoping things would slowly fade between us and disappear. I think I hoped he would worm his way back into the dark, miserable place he’d crawled out from.” She looked down at her feet when she said the last words.
Noah heard her, and the quiet anger in her voice was not lost on him. This wasn’t the Melissa he knew—the girl he’d kissed and welcomed the New Year in with. He edged forward in his chair, wondering what it was her ex had done to her. He wanted to move closer to her, wanted to comfort her but forced himself to stay where he was.
“You haven’t drunk your coffee,” he told her, lifting his cup to his mouth.
She waved it away and continued talking. “I went out with Heather and I met you at Zoot. And when I saw you, when we talked, away from the coffee shop, just having the chance to have you to myself for the whole evening and find out everything about you, I knew for sure then that Matt was my past—and that”—she paused again—“and that no matter what happened between us—between you and me”—she
glanced at him—“I didn’t want to be with someone who made me feel so low.” She lifted her eyes to him once more. “When I met you, you made things good for me. You made me laugh when he’d torn my self-esteem to shreds. You seemed to care, whereas he didn’t. Not about me, as a person. I was more of a plaything.”
She closed her eyes, and for the first time he began to see that the vulnerability, the times he’d seen her in the coffee shop in the mornings, those times she’d looked sad and a thousand miles away—her boyfriend had been the reason why.
She’d never mentioned her boyfriend back then. Something told him that his first impressions of Matt had been spot on, and that his first impressions of Melissa had been fairly accurate too. That maybe he’d been right in thinking she didn’t fit the mold of a two-timing bitch out to hurt him or anyone else. She was gentle, kind and sensitive. And she was hurting right now.
But he still didn’t have all the answers.
“Why, if you’d told him you wanted a break, did you go to his room on New Year’s day? Christ, Melissa, after we’d spent the night before being so close.” Anger rose in his voice.
“Don’t you see?” she started.
Remembering Matt shirtless, and following her from his bedroom, no he couldn’t goddamn well see. “No, I don’t see at all,” he replied calmly, his mouth pursed together.
“I’d let him think we were having time apart, a break. But after you and I got together, there was no doubt in my mind. I couldn’t just wait for time to pass and for things between him and me to fade. I had to go and tell him. I had to drum it into that thick head of his.”
“And so?” You went to his apartment and had sex with him instead? Noah gripped his coffee cup harder and waited for her answer.
She swallowed. “I thought I’d discuss it away from a public place. The last time I told him in the lobby at work and he almost made a scene. He can get nasty.” Her eyes betrayed fear.
“What do you mean by nasty?”
She looked away and shook her head. “Just nasty…” He could see he couldn’t pull it out of her, that she had to give up the information voluntarily. “I thought it best to get it over and done with.” She looked at him again.
Noah put his coffee cup down. “Get what over and done with?” His eyes narrowed.
“Whatever it was he wanted to say to me. And it was important I do it then, before we got back to work, before you and I saw each other again.”
She’d done it for him, had she? Is that what she was implying?
“But he came out of that room without a shirt on.” Accusation stained his words. He waited for Melissa to deny it. Her bottom lip trembled and he saw the truth of it. Knowing it was cruel, he asked her anyway. “Did you sleep with him?”
When she looked at him, tears had started in her eyes. “He had pictures of me.” She looked away and her voice dropped to an almost inaudible whisper.
“Pictures?” Even as he said it, his insides clenched. She stared at her untouched cup, refusing to look at him. “He used to take photos of me…in…in”—she closed her eyes—“in my underwear, and make me pose in certain ways.” She closed her eyes and then stared up at the ceiling, and he could see the glob of tears settle near her lashes, threatening to spill over. He reached out, almost touching his fingers to her hands, wanting to touch her, to offer some kind of comfort, but as much as it pained him to see her so broken, a part of him struggled to distance himself from her.
He still needed to hear all the facts first, as hard as it was for him to sit here and see her falling to pieces and him not do a damn thing to comfort her. His fingers stayed, trailing on the table.
She opened her eyes, and one tear fell. “He’d send them to me, you see, every now and then. He said it was his way of telling me that he missed me. I think he thought they were sexy—that I would appreciate them, but I’d always felt uncomfortable even when he took them. He sent me one when I was at home with my parents over Christmas. He even sent me one on New Year’s Eve and that’s when I was heading to the washroom, but I bumped into you instead.” He reached out this time, his fingers gently resting on the back of her hand.
“You and I got talking, and there was no looking back.” More tears fell, and gently rolled down her cheeks.
“Why are you crying?” he asked gently, before moving his seat next to hers. He lifted his hand and wiped her tears away, as she turned her face to him and sniffed, not saying a word.
After a moment, she said, “Each time he sent me a photo like that…even though I’d allowed him to take them…it made me feel uneasy. What if years from now, he uploaded them somewhere and blackmailed me with them? I had to get them back.”
“You came back to get your photos.” Now he understood why. The guy had lied to him about still being with Melissa. Noah shuddered to think what else he’d lied about. Or what else he’d done to her. He put his arm gently around her and she moved toward him, slowly, letting her head rest against him. With his free hand he held hers on the table. Holding her like this was perfect. Moments passed in contemplative silence.
“I came back on New Year’s day,” her voice wavered.
“You don’t have to tell me it all now.”
“I want to.” She sniffed again and he hooked his finger under her chin, tilted her head up to check for tears.
“Not if it makes you sad.” He searched her face closely.
“I’d rather tell you it all now,” she insisted.
Unable to stop himself, he kissed her on the forehead, and she looked at him when he pulled back. Entwining his fingers in hers, he waited for her to continue. She pulled herself out of his embrace and placed her hands on her lap. “I came back on New Year’s Day to tell him there was no chance of us getting back together.” She stopped, and swallowed.
“And he said what?”
“He—he—didn’t see it coming.” She sniffed. “I told him to delete the photos from his phone and his laptop…all of them.”
“And he did?” He asked in surprise.
She nodded her head.
“All of them?”
“All of them.” She repeated in a faraway voice.
Good. Thought Noah, allowing himself to relax a little.
“Oh,” she said, suddenly and turned to pick up her handbag. She pulled out a big, bulky envelope. “I hate to ask you to do this for me. But I need to return these to him.”
The CDs. It had dawned on him yesterday that this was what Melissa had taken that day. “When he’s out, do you think you could somehow slip these onto his desk? I’m sorry to ask you to do something like this for me.”
He took them, knowing he’d do almost anything for her. He had his answers and for now he trusted that she was telling him the truth.”
“What did you think was on here?” He put them into his bag.
“Oh—you know. More pictures. But there’s nothing on there. It’s all software.” She looked at her watch, and then wiped her face with her hands. “I’d better go,” she said, gulping down her coffee. She looked at him, waiting for his next move.
“I’m here for you. In case you want to talk about it, ever.”
“I wanted you to know that I’m not a cheating, two-timing kind of girl.”
He got up and picked up his backpack. “I kind of always knew that. That’s why what happened lately threw me for a loop.” He hesitated. “Did you want to at least swap numbers, or something?” His voice was hopeful, because he wanted to be there for her.
“Sure,” she said, getting out her cell.
But all the same he wondered. Why would a girl like Melissa break into her ex’s apartment, and for photos that she said were harmless?
Just how bad were they?
Chapter 41
Unable to bring herself to tell Noah everything, Melissa had shared just enough to help ease her burden. And slowly, in the telling of it, she felt as though a heavy iron chain had been lifted from her chest: she could breathe a little. He’d listened in
tently, and that itself comforted her.
The Noah from before slowly returned to her. A whisper of relief settled over her that perhaps they could salvage things.
But then she walked into the lobby at work and saw Sandra Donnelly—a senior manager who seemed to make it her daily goal to inject misery into the lives of others—waiting outside the elevator bank. Melissa slowed down her footsteps, busied herself by searching in her bag for nothing in particular. When the elevator arrived, she waited for Sandra to step in. The short, sharp jaunty dance of the woman’s dark hair contrasted strongly against the deep magenta of her coat.
The woman sure likes her colors, thought Melissa. She would never be caught dead in something so loud. She watched the doors close, and Sandra disappeared out of sight. Now that her path was clear, Melissa approached the elevator bank and took the next available elevator. She stepped in and pressed the button to her floor.
Matt jumped in beside her and pressed the button to immediately close the doors. Her heart beat faster and she inched toward the corner, eyeing him warily. A curl of a smile formed on his face. It unnerved her, the way he continued to stare, without saying a word.
She remained silent. Waiting for him to talk first, and when he didn’t, she swallowed lightly, hoping she didn’t give away any signs of her nervousness.
The elevator stopped, and he walked out. “I’ll be watching you, Melissa,” he said, and then the doors closed.
Alone again, she racked her brains, analyzing his words. What did he mean? Were there more backups? Did he have images hidden away on other devices? Her palpitations began.
She’d barely made it to her desk when Nadine rushed past her. “Melissa, I’ve got that presentation in an hour. Do you have the latest slides?”
Melissa nodded. “I’ll copy them over for you.”
“I haven’t got time. Just give them to me now, could you please? I’ve got the Noble Vintage guys in the conference room waiting for me. I don’t know how long I’ll be.”
Melissa slipped her the memory stick, suddenly switching to work mode.