by KB Winters
I laughed in his face, a roar of hysterical giggles bursting from my mouth before I could rein it in. I shook my head in utter disbelief.
Samuel chucked the flowers in the nearest trashcan. “I tried.”
My laughter died. “You tried?”
“I didn’t come all this way to argue with you. I was trying to be nice.” He waved at the stems of the discarded bouquet as they stuck out of the top of the trash can.
“Wait, let me make sure I’m keeping up here,” I said, folding my arms over my chest. “You thought after four and a half years, you could show up, unexpected, unwanted, and offer me some shitty flowers to make up for everything?”
“It’s not my fault that it took so long, Isla. You didn’t exactly make it easy to find you.”
“Gee, I wonder why? Maybe to keep my daughter away from you.”
“Our daughter.”
I’d never hated two words more.
“I want to see her.”
“That’s not going to happen.” I flexed my jaw, barely keeping myself under control. “Not a chance.”
“You can’t make that call, Isla. I have rights.”
“Samuel, here’s my advice, go back to whatever hole you crawled out of and leave me alone.” I took a step closer, lifting up onto the balls of my feet to get in his face. A face that was so foreign to me that it was like seeing a shadow figure from a bad dream under the light of day. “I don’t need you and I sure as hell don’t want you. And neither does my daughter.”
I pivoted on my foot, prepared to storm back upstairs and have it out with Kevin if he tried to stop me from continuing my work day.
“I have a lawyer.”
My hand froze on the metal handle of the glass double doors and a wave of terror ripped through me. He had to be bluffing. Didn’t he?
“Don’t make this ugly, Isla.”
I turned back, doing my best to keep the tears in my eyes from falling. I refused to let him see me weak. Not now. “What do you want, Samuel?”
“I want to see her. To meet her.”
I sucked in a slow, steadying breath and anchored my feet firmly on the pavement. “Samuel, she doesn’t have room for you in her life. If you come in after all this time, it’s only going to confuse her. Please, if you have even a hint of concern for her, then leave her—us—alone. She’s happy and thriving.”
Samuel’s face shifted, the anger I’d seen in his eyes drained away, leaving a hollowness I’d never seen there before. “It’s important to me. She needs a father, Isla.”
“She has one,” the statement popped out and it was so left field that I could feel my own eyes going wide. “Or, she will, soon. I’m—I’m engaged.”
After a long moment, Samuel nodded slowly. “I—uh, I didn’t know. My cousin, Mary, she’s the one who helped me track you down. She found your mom on social media and saw some pictures of her. Lily, right?”
I pressed my lips tight and nodded. A new mix of emotions flooded over me and I quickly got so lost and twisted up with the rush of confused, sad, regretful, scared, and anxious.
“I still want to see her.” He paused, weighing his next words, before adding, “Isla, I’m not afraid to take this to the next level, but I’d rather spare all of us from that process.”
There was no doubt what he meant. He’d already tossed out the tidbit about having a lawyer. My back was against the wall and I knew it. I could feel it pressing into me, leaving me no other choice than to agree and hope that after a meeting, he’d disappear back into the obscurity he’d lived in for the past four and a half years.
“One meeting, Samuel. And you’re not going to tell her who you are. She’s too young to understand.”
He hesitated, but after a moment, he nodded his consent. “When?”
“It will have to wait until the weekend. We’re too busy during the week. Sunday afternoon is the only time.” I’d been hoping to get another night out and be able to see Lucas, but I set aside those dreams. It was more important to get this situation handled and out of the way. Then Lucas and I could truly move on.
“Here’s my number,” he pulled a card from his pocket and handed it to me. It was embossed with a stamp for some financial corporation and listed his name with the title of Senior Loan Officer.
He turned away and I watched as he crossed the lot and disappeared from view. Moments later, he pulled into view behind the wheel of a shiny black SUV with fancy rims. Whatever he’d been up to in the past four and a half years, he’d obviously done well for himself.
Good for him…
Chapter Eleven
Lucas
“Lucas, she won’t give me my pom-poms!” Emmie yelled from halfway across the house.
“They’re not yours!” Lottie fired back.
“Yes, they are!”
I winced and took a moment to breathe. I’d been home for less than half an hour and things were already dissolving into chaos. “Girls! Hold it down until I get dinner ready,” I hollered back, instantly hating myself for yelling at them. I dropped the bag of salad mix on the counter and stalked out to the living room.
Lottie was jumping on the couch, holding the silver and blue pom-poms over her head, taunting Emmie, who was about to lunge for her legs. “Stop! Right now!”
Both girls snapped to attention at my gruff command. “Lucas she—”
I held up a hand, silencing Emmie’s whining. “I’m trying to make dinner for everyone. Lottie, put them down. Get off the couch. Both of you are going to work on homework, quietly, in the kitchen where I can keep an eye on you.”
“I don’t have any,” Emmie argued, crossing her arms and sticking out her bottom lip.
“Then find a book to read.” I turned around and went back to the kitchen, both of the girls following behind, their bare feet stomping on the wood floors.
Once they were both seated and quiet, I went back to putting together dinner. I’d never been much of a cook and of all the challenges of becoming an instant-parent, meal planning was by far the hardest. The kids didn’t complain about the repeat meals, but I often felt guilty over feeding them the same four or five dishes over and over again. Tonight was taco night. Easy and simple.
As I was browning the meat, Spencer came into the kitchen and took the barstool in between Lottie and Emmie—whom I’d separated to keep them from going at each other again. “Hey bud, what’s up?” I asked, glancing up from the pan I was tending.
“Nothing,” he replied, his mouth pulled down in a severe frown.
“Rough day?”
He shrugged. “I guess.”
I thought back to my days as a sixteen year old. He probably didn’t want to have someone drag whatever was bugging him out in the open, but then again, he’d come into the kitchen instead of barricading himself up in his room. So, maybe he did want to talk.
God, when had everything gotten so complicated?
I continued cooking and after I tossed the tortillas in the oven to warm up, I braced my hands on the counter and leaned over, drawing his attention. “Spence, what’s going on?”
He sighed, as though I were harassing him, but then the story unfolded. He was having trouble in math class and had been told that if he didn’t get his grades up in the next four weeks, he was going to lose his spot on the basketball team.
“Well, shi—shoot,” I said, hastily correcting myself with a glance at the girls on either side of him. “We can get you a tutor or something, right?”
“I guess.”
I reached across the island and clapped him on the shoulder. “We’ll figure it out, man. Whatever you need. You’re not going to lose your spot on the team, all right?”
He nodded. “Thanks, Lucas.”
One crisis adverted. I made a note in my phone to remind me to call the school in the morning and get a list of tutors to call and then called the kids to dinner.
The rest of the evening passed in a blur and between getting dinner on the table and then cleaned up and finish
ing the great pom-pom debate once and for all, it was almost ten o’clock. Ben and Spencer were watching something on TV and the girls were up in bed. I locked up the house, turned off the majority of the lights, and then paused beside the couch on my way upstairs. “Hey guys, Spence needs to hit the sack. Wrap it up in fifteen, okay?”
They grumbled their agreement and I took the stairs two at a time and went to the end of the hall to my room. Once inside, I let out an exhausted sigh, and flopped down onto the bed, bouncing on my back.
“Finally, some me time.” I pulled my phone out of my pocket and held it over my head to check all the messages I’d been forced to ignore in the hurricane of the Monday evening routine.
I’d been thinking about Isla, and our date, all day. There was a part of me that still couldn’t believe any of it had actually happened. But then I’d remember the way my hands felt wrapped around her waist, sliding down her back, and flirting with the slight curve of her ass, and it all became very real.
As I scanned through my phone, it struck me as odd that there weren’t any messages from her. She’d warned me that she’d be slammed at work after a week away, but I couldn’t help but feel a little disappointed that my good morning text was still sitting there without a reply.
I logged into the single parent forum to check my messages there and was smacked in the face with the headline of Isla’s latest post.
“Shit!” I jerked up to the edge of the bed as my eyes raced back and forth over the details.
Slaying Dragons
A dragon I thought I’d slayed came roaring back to life today. The father or my child, whom she’s never even met, ambushed me at my office today. I haven’t seen him since I was four months pregnant and today he shows up out of nowhere, breathing fire and talking about lawyers. I have no idea if he has a case, but he basically blackmailed me into letting him see L this weekend.
I’m so backwards and broken right now, I can’t even begin to figure out what to do.
Any advice?
My heart broke at the pain that was so evident in her words. Her posts were normally funny, sarcastic, and well thought out. This last one was unlike any of the others since I’d started following her.
Why hadn’t she called me?
I closed the message board and called her, hoping it wasn’t too late. She answered after a few rings. “Hey, Lucas,” her voice sounded flat and deflated.
“Hey, Isla. Sorry it’s so late. Do you have some time?”
“Yeah. I can’t sleep anyways.”
I cringed. I hated hearing her so down. “So, I saw the post…”
She heaved a sigh. “Yeah, so that happened today.”
“Why didn’t you call me, Isla?”
“Lucas, you’re a sweet guy, and I’m so happy we went out last night, but this—you and me—it’s still new and I don’t want to weigh it all down with baby daddy drama. God, that’s not a sentence I ever thought I’d say…ugh. I can’t believe any of this is happening...”
“I have broad shoulders, Isla, I can carry a whole lot.” I lay back down and wished she was lying beside me. In some ways, I was used to having complicated conversations over the phone, thanks to years in the Army, but this was different. I wanted to see her. To wipe away her tears. To hold her and tell her it would be okay.
“I appreciate that,” she replied. “But you already have a lot on your plate right now. You really don’t need my drama piled on top.”
“How about you let me be the judge of how much I can carry, okay?”
My question was rhetorical, but I’d expected an acknowledgment of some kind. Instead, I was met with silence.
“Isla?”
I heard her sigh again. “Lucas, I like you, a lot, but I’m really used to working through things on my own. I’m not automatically going to share everything. You have to respect that.”
I exhaled and pinched my eyes closed. “You’re right.”
I was so used to being the superhero big brother who always swooped in to save the day. It was a role I’d been playing for most of my life. I was more comfortable being needed.
“Thank you for caring. I was going to text you back or call or something but the day just got away from me. After he—my ex—left my work, I just got in my car and drove around. Aimlessly. I picked up Lily from school and took her out for ice cream. Just because. And I was sitting there, looking at her, and imagining putting her through the trauma of a court case with lawyers and judges and I burst into tears right there in the middle of the ice cream shop.” She paused and sucked in a deep breath and my heart twisted violently inside my chest. “Lily kept asking why I was crying and I couldn’t—I couldn’t tell her why.”
Isla’s voice dissolved into sobs and I stood from the edge of the bed and paced the room. I wondered if Carrie was working. Maybe I could call her and get her to come to the house and watch the kids. Or, I could leave Ben in charge…
“Isla, can I come see you? I hate that you’re going through this on your own right now.”
She sniffled. “You’re sweet, but no, I’m home with Lily. Well, she’s sleeping obviously. But I can’t leave her, my parents are out at some event.”
“Okay. Tell me what I can do to help.”
“You could tell me about your day. Take my mind off of this mess.” A smile chimed into her voice and killed my argument on my lips.
“My day?” I chuckled. “Monday’s are a marathon over here, that’s for sure. I had back to back appointments at work, didn’t get a lunch break, ran errands, and couldn’t even get through dinner prep without witnessing World War Three erupting over a case of mistaken pom-poms.” Isla laughed and I sat back on the bed and lay back against the headboard. I let the melodic sound of her amusement wash over me and a smile pulled at the corners of my lips. “Sure, laugh it up, but damn, it makes me feel old.”
“Well, at least you still have your looks,” Isla quipped.
I laughed. “You’re too kind.”
“As a former cheerleader, I can also attest to how important it is to have the right set of pom-poms.”
I bit back the urge to make a comment about her perfect pom-poms, and just smiled. “Clearly, I underrated the issue.”
She giggled again, and I was overwhelmed with the urge to be back at her side again. I couldn’t remember missing someone as much as I found myself missing her. I’d gotten used to putting people and places in compartments. It made the long stretches away from friends and family a lot easier to deal with. But I couldn’t do that with Isla. I wanted her and the ache inside grew stronger each time we talked.
I didn’t know what was going to happen next, and her ex suddenly bursting onto the scene complicated things, but I knew I was ready to do whatever it took to make sure she had more smiles than tears in the battle that lay ahead of her.
Chapter Twelve
Isla
“You know what would make all of this better?”
“What?” Lucas asked.
“If we were together right now.” I sucked in my lower lip. There, I’d said it. My feelings were officially out there on the table.
“Agreed. I can’t stop thinking about you.” Lucas’ smile was evident in his voice and I reached a new level of aching to be by his side again. The night before had been exhilarating—and at times, passionate and steamy—but when I played it back in my head, the moment that had stuck out the most, was a picture of us sitting curled up on the couch at Cuppa. It had been such a casual moment. Nothing extravagant or over the top romantic. But, that had never really been my style. I’d always been the girl who preferred spending her weekends in torn jeans, a ball cap, and cheering on my favorite football team at a tailgate party, instead of going out drinking and partying or getting dolled up for some fancy event.
“When can I see you again?” Lucas asked, interrupting my reminiscing.
I sighed. Not soon enough. “I have to get this stuff sorted out first. I told my ex he can meet Lily on Sunday…”
“I understand. Just know that I’ll be on standby if you need to talk or meet up afterward.”
“Thank you.” A new thought popped into my head. “You want to know something crazy?”
“Sure,” Lucas said, a glimmer of a laugh in his tone.
“I kind of told a lie…I told my ex that Lily has a father figure already, because I’m engaged, and getting married…soon.”
“Anyone I know?” Lucas laughed. “From first date to the altar, huh?”
“I know! I’m sure that makes me sound certifiable…I don’t know what came over me.” I felt my cheeks go red and for the first time all night, was glad we couldn’t see each other. With such fair skin, I blushed all too easily.
“Seems like that would be a good plan though,” Lucas said after a moment. “I was reading the replies you’ve been getting on the forum and looks like the general advice is to get hitched.”
I nodded. “I saw some of those. I guess it would make me look better in court if my ex—Samuel, that’s his name—if he took me to court for custody. I mean, most people say he wouldn’t have a chance at getting custody, but the court could force us to create a parenting plan which would allow him to have scheduled visits. I can only assume if those went well, over the course of time, he could petition for half and half custody.”
I sighed, breathing through the tremors of terror that rolled over me.
“Where does he live?”
I shrugged. “I have no idea. When we met, we both lived in Florida. I’ve always assumed he was still there.”
“Isla, I wasn’t planning on getting into this for a while, because it’s none of my business, but now—”
“You can ask me anything,” I replied, already knowing where he was taking the conversation.
“Well, I just wondered what happened to Lily’s father? In the forum you don’t really post much about that…or maybe I didn’t read back far enough…”
“No, you’re right. It’s not really there. I didn’t join the forum until after everything had ended, so I never wrote it all out, other than to say that Lily’s father has never been involved. I was still pregnant when he broke up with me.”