Think of Me

by Jane M. Choate

  He framed her face with his hands. "You're so beautiful." It wasn't the first time he'd uttered those words to her. She hadn't believed him then. He doubted she believed them now. But he hadn't been able to keep the thought to himself, just as he couldn't keep from kissing her once more.

  "Don't send me away again," he said. "I couldn't do it."

  Her nod was an acknowledgment. And the beginning of a new start.

  * * * *

  Eve believed the best way to teach was to show. When the middle school art teacher asked her to talk about her work, Eve did what she did best. She created.

  She mixed and poured, measured and stirred, before she was satisfied with the results. She used natural ingredients—herbs, plants, even berries—to achieve the colors she wanted. Goldenrod for yellow, hickory nut for brown, indigo for blue.

  Some students crowded around her, others hung back as Eve plopped a long swatch of material into a vat of dye and stirred it with a long-handled wooden spoon. "Don't be afraid of getting your hands in it." She demonstrated by plunging her arms in to the vat, swishing the material back and forth. "When you've got the color you want, pull it out. If you want to do tone-on-tone, be ready with your next color."

  "How come you don't just buy your clothes at the mall?" one girl asked. "Why go to all this work?"

  Briefly Eve looked up from her task to glance at the girl. With her straight hair, a t-shirt, and jeans, she was a clone of nearly every other girl in the class. "If I wanted to look like everyone else, I wouldn't." Titters of laughter told her that her remark had struck home.

  She'd given the same demonstration to various art classes in elementary, middle, and high schools and had learned how to parry the questions thrown at her. The middle-schoolers proved to be the most difficult. Too old to appear to have fun with the dyes and too young to see the possibilities in creating their own clothes, they frequently resorted to putting down what she did as weird.

  A few crowded around her to watch as she pulled the cloth from the vat. It was those whom Eve concentrated on.

  "Wow," one girl breathed as Eve pulled a berry-colored cloth from the vat. A rosy pink streaked through the deeper color, giving it a multi-dimensional look. "I've never seen anything like it. Can I touch it?"

  "Sure." Eve blotted the material between two old towels. "You can make your own colors, your own clothes."

  "Did you make the dress you're wearing?"

  "Hmm-hmm. You like it?" She held out the folds of the full skirt dyed in various shades of blue, inviting the kids to touch it.

  Hesitantly, the girl fingered the richly patterned dress. "It's beautiful. I'd give anything to be able to make something like that."

  "How do you get the stripes and checks?" another girl asked, fingering a blanket of homespun wool.

  Eve hid a smile. She had them now. Questions were a good sign. "I alternate natural toned and dyed yarns. See?" She held up a piece of homespun, the original cream color striped with blue.

  She dug a couple of cards out of her pocket and handed them to the girls. "Come on by my shop someday and I'll show you how to get started."

  Daniel watched from the doorway. He'd tracked Eve down to the school. He needed to leave for Washington the next day and wanted to see her.

  Looking at her now, he realized he'd stumbled across another facet to the woman he'd come to love. She handled the kids easily, neither talking down to them nor letting them intimidate her. She genuinely liked them, even the ones who hung back, making it clear she couldn't interest them. It showed in the way she took their questions seriously, the generous invitation to her workshop. She'd make a good mother, he reflected.

  He knew the moment she'd spotted him. Color blossomed and rode high on her cheeks. She kept her attention focused on the teenagers, but her glance strayed to him occasionally. Was she glad to see him? The soft smile on her lips had him hoping she was.

  When the art teacher took over, Eve made her way over to where Daniel waited. Heedless of the teacher and class, he took her in his arms and kissed her lightly. Later, he promised himself, he'd kiss her properly. For now, he brushed his lips against hers and was gratified to see the widening of her eyes.

  Whatever her protestations to the contrary, the lady was not indifferent to him.

  "Do you mind?" he asked. "I wanted to see you before I left."

  "You're leaving?" The disappointment in her voice soothed away much of the pain of saying good-bye to her.

  "I have to go to Washington for a few days. I'm running into some snags on a bill I'm trying to gather support for."

  Daniel's words cut straight to her heart. Now that they were together, she begrudged anything that kept them apart.

  Including his job. Especially his job.

  She nodded. "When?"

  "Tonight." He brushed a kiss across her lips. He fitted a finger beneath her chin, tilting her head up so that their eyes met. "You'll think of me when I'm gone."

  How could she argue with the obvious? Of course she'd think of him.

  "But will you miss me?"

  "You're head's big enough already."

  "I'll take that as a yes. Have dinner with me tonight."

  The invitation was an impulse. He had a dozen things to do before his flight. Right now, he couldn't remember a one of them. All that mattered was spending a few more hours with her. Later, he couldn't have said where they'd gone, what they'd eaten, when they'd left to go home. All that he could think of was the woman at his side.

  Inside her door, he caught her chin on the edge of his fist.

  She kissed him fiercely. "Come back soon."

  * * * *

  She missed him, darn it.

  She thought of little, no, make that nothing else, but Daniel.

  As she opened the door to the shop in the morning, she thought of him. When she rang up a sale, she thought of him again. And when she closed the store, she was still thinking of him.

  The next five days stretched out before her, empty and bleak. There would be no surprise visits, no stolen kisses, no stimulating arguments.

  The direction of her thoughts drew her up short. What was she thinking? Hadn't she claimed often enough that she didn't want those things, that her relationship with Daniel was one of simple friendship, that her heart was still whole?

  She shoved those thoughts from her mind. What was she worried about, anyway? She could handle Daniel Cameron. Would handle him. After all, she hadn't known him long enough for him to matter.

  After spending the better part of an hour convincing herself of that, she spread her hands.

  She was in trouble.

  Daniel had insinuated himself into her life as quietly as a baby's sigh. Only he wasn't a soft, cuddly infant. He was a large, demanding male who was fast becoming an integral part of her life. How had it happened? How had she allowed it to happen?

  When she posed that question to Carla, who had arrived only minutes earlier, her friend hooted with laughter. The two had been going through Eve's stock, looking for a gift for new parents in Carla's congregation. Carla turned her attention from the stack of baby blankets and focused it on Eve.

  "You don't allow love to happen. It creeps up on you. It knocks you over the head. It shakes you until your teeth rattle. But it doesn't happen because you let it."

  That drew a scowl from Eve. "I don't love him. I…” she searched for the proper word. "I care about him."

  Carla gave her a look that said have it your own way, but Eve wasn't deceived. She knew Carla wasn't convinced.

  With jerky determination, Eve dug through a pile of baby-sized blankets, shoving one after another to the side before she found the one she wanted. "What do you think of this?" she asked, holding up a pale blue shawl.

  "Beautiful," Carla said. She fingered the finely spun cloth.

  Eve placed the blanket in a tissue lined box and quickly tied a bow made of the same yarn as the blanket around it.

  Carla tucked it under her arm. "Thanks." Sh
e checked her watch. "I've got to run. Sam's watching Zach till I get back. Then he's off to a city council meeting."

  Eve made a face. "Sounds boring."

  "According to Sam, they usually are. But he's determined to get the funding approved for the new shelters."

  Eve nodded. She knew how hard both Carla and Sam worked to improve the conditions of the homeless people of Saratoga.

  When Carla left, Eve knew an acute sense of loneliness. Saturday afternoons were usually slow. Normally, Ron worked on the weekend, giving her time to experiment with new dyes or just take some time off. But he was taking college boards today and hadn't expected to be done until late in the afternoon. She'd assured him she'd manage without him.

  Time dragged with a slowness that had her constantly checking the clock to see if it had stopped working. When she caught herself doing it for the fifth time in as many minutes, she knew it was time to do something about it.

  It was Daniel's fault.

  The man had insinuated himself into her life. That wasn't true, her conscience forced her to admit. She'd let him into her life.

  He wasn't like any politician she'd ever met. Oh, she'd known honest politicians before. But it was more than that. Daniel radiated a kind of integrity that made others want to trust him. His dedication to the people went far beyond duty. It was borne out of genuine liking and caring.

  He would someday be shooting for the oval office. It wasn't that he craved power; far from it. No, it was a need to make a difference that prompted him to seek the most powerful job in the world.

  Stop it, she ordered herself. Think of something else.

  Anything else.

  It was pointless. Now that she'd let Daniel into her mind, she could think of nothing else but him. The way he looked with his hair mussed by a baby's hands. The way he tasted when his lips met hers. The way he made her feel. No doubt about it. He was firmly lodged in her mind.

  Well, that didn't mean she was going to let him stay there. She shoved the image of his face away and concentrated on her work. The repetitive motion of operating the loom smoothed out the wrinkles of her thoughts. Nothing, though, could ease the loneliness that raged inside her heart.

  * * * *

  The gifts started coming the next morning. A basket of marbles. How had he known the brightly colored bits of glass would appeal to her? A dozen roses, a box of chocolates, she could have ignored. But the jewel toned marbles drew her as nothing else could. Unable to help herself, she held one up to the light.

  The man didn't play fair. Her breath came out in an annoyed gush that softened to a wistful sigh. No, he didn't play fair at all.

  No other man had ever courted her with such flair, such insight, such sensitivity, Eve decided the following day as she admired Daniel's latest gift—a basket of pansies. She opened the enclosed note. "They reminded me of you."

  The card crumpled beneath her fingers. The man knew exactly what would please her. Why couldn't he be predictable, boring, and staid? Why did he have to be the one man who touched something deep inside of her? She voiced the question aloud.

  The purple-faced pansies seemed to nod in agreement.

  "Delivery for you, Eve," Ron called Friday afternoon.

  Wiping her dye-stained hands on her bib apron, she left her work area for the shop.

  "If you'll sign right here," the delivery boy said and handed her a clipboard. The box was heavy and bore an Australian postmark.

  He hung around, clearly curious. To his and Ron's obvious disappointment, she took the box back to her workshop to open it in privacy.

  As excited as a child at Christmas, she shook it. Impatiently, she slit the seams with a knife, opened the box, and dug among the packing papers. Her fingers encountered something soft. Eagerly, she pulled it free. A fleece. A tag identified it as Australian. Sheared and ready to card. Heedless of the lanolin that clung to it, she held it to her cheek.

  The small card that accompanied it read, "Maybe someday you'll visit Australia with me." Daniel's name was scrawled at the bottom.

  Oh, the man was good. He read her so easily, instinctively knowing what would please her.

  She didn't like being that transparent. Didn't like it at all. Was she so obvious to everyone? Or was it just Daniel who could read her so easily? The latter caused her more than a little uneasiness. They'd known each for less than a month, but she felt a connection between them that wasn't fixed by time or logic. Certainly not logic, she thought, her lips twisting in a wry smile.

  Logic would have sent her running in the opposite direction from Daniel Cameron. Logic would suggest that she have her head examined for even thinking about going out with him. No, it darn sure wasn't logic that sparked the air with electricity whenever they were together.

  Good manners dictated that she call and thank him for the gifts.

  * * * *

  The telephone cut through the late afternoon din of the office. Daniel shot to his feet, earning a startled look from his secretary who'd been briefing him on an upcoming interview.

  "I've been expecting a call. I'll take it in your office."

  Her eyebrows rose, but she was too well-trained to comment upon his odd behavior. He'd never bothered excluding her from his calls before. But, then, Eve had him doing a lot of things he'd never bothered with before.

  He managed to reach the phone before the fourth ring. Anticipation was almost as good as reality. He pictured her, feet bare, legs tucked beneath one of those long, floating skirts of hers.

  Daniel snugged the receiver next to his ear, feeling a grin already pulling at the corners of his mouth. "Cameron."

  "It's Eve."

  The feminine voice on the other end of the line was soft and, if he weren't mistaken, tinged with loneliness. He hoped it meant she missed him.

  "The marbles, the pansies, the sheepskin…they're all beautiful. Thank you."

  The reluctance in her voice warred with pleasure. The lady was weakening. He could feel it. "You're welcome."

  "They're all very nice, but you don't have to—"

  "I wanted to." There. Let her argue with that.

  "The fleece…how did you know?"

  He could hear the pique. "I took a guess. You like it?"

  "I love it. It's the most wonderful present in the world."

  He wondered what it would feel like to have her use the same words about him. A pleasurable warmth settled over his heart at the mere idea. Someday, perhaps he'd know.

  He could hear her shifting the receiver against her ear, guessing that she was settling on the tall stool in her workroom. Her hair would be pulled on top of her head in a knot of curls, a few escaping to tumble down her cheeks and neck. For a moment, he indulged in a fantasy of picturing himself pulling the pins from her hair and freeing the remaining curls.

  "Daniel?"

  "Hmmm?

  "I meant what I said. No one has ever given me such beautiful things."

  He was wearing her down, Daniel decided. What other woman would think a hunk of sheepskin was beautiful? But, then, he was learning that Eve wasn't like any other woman.

  "I miss you." He waited. Hoping.

  "I…I miss you too."

  His heart leapt. The admission had cost her, he knew. She was still resisting what was happening between them. But he'd scored a victory. A small one, but a victory nonetheless.

  "See me when I get back?" He didn't give her a chance to answer. "I get in tomorrow night. Around eight." With that, he hung up.

  The dial tone ringing in her ear, she replaced the receiver, fighting the desire to smile and an equally strong one to throw something.

  Who did he think he was, assuming that she wanted to see him, that she would see him, just because he crooked his finger?

  Well, he might just find her out when he came calling. He might just find she had other plans. He might just…

  Who was she trying to kid? She missed him more than she thought possible.

  * * * *

  Eve
finished closing the shop, humming a Broadway song. She might have wished Daniel weren't quite so charming. Or that she didn't enjoy herself quite so much when she was with him. She might have wished for all of those. But she didn't. She was happy. And it was due to Daniel.

  No, that wasn't right. It was due to how she felt when she was with him. He made her laugh. At herself. At him. At life in general. What greater gift was there?

  She put aside the niggling doubts as to where they were heading. For now she was content. She spent the better part of the day in the kitchen. Cooking. The word normally had her cringing. Cooking was one of the few things she'd tried that she hadn't excelled in. Face it, she ordered herself silently, she hadn't even passed the junior high omelette test. But, for Daniel, she was determined to try.

  By a quarter to eight, she was ready to consign all cookbook authors to a special place in purgatory. Her roast was overdone, her potatoes still raw, and her vegetables limp. The only thing she hadn't managed to ruin was dessert, and then only because she'd picked it up from a bakery.

  Daniel arrived a few minutes later, took in the shambles of her kitchen, and promptly picked up the phone. That completed, he took her in his arms and kissed her.

  She responded with equal fervor.

  "You did miss me," he said in satisfaction with a smile that was every bit as devastating as his kiss.

  She guarded herself against that smile he used to such advantage. Any man who smiled like that needed extra care in handling.

  "I brought you something." He handed her a small, rectangular package.

  Eagerly, she ripped away the brown wrapping paper to uncover a copy of a first edition of a Nancy Drew mystery. The Mystery of the Old Clock. No hearts and flowers from Daniel Cameron, but a book she'd treasured as a child. How had he known?

  She opened the book, turning the pages reverently, unable to stifle a gasp of pleasure. "Thank you."

  "You're welcome. Now, let's get this place cleaned up. It looks like a tornado just whirled through."

  She made a face and threw a dishrag at him. Within a half hour, the kitchen was restored to order. Minutes later, a delivery boy showed up.

  Daniel paid him, added a tip, and kissed Eve.