by Rose, Louise
“Seriously?” I gasped.
“Yep.” Lucas nodded grimly. “It was when I was 15. Penelope had sent me to a boarding school for a term because she thought it was important for me to mix with my peers. I always thought the real reason she sent me away was because she was fed up with being a mother and wanted a break from dealing with a teenager. Whatever the reason, that term was one of the happiest times of my life. Although I was bullied by some of the other kids, it was nothing compared to the way Penelope had treated me and I wanted to stay there until I was too old for school.
“However, one night I was woken up by a strange sound. I had a private room, so I was all by myself and I woke up to find two men standing over my bed. I cried out and one of them put a cloth over my mouth to stifle my shouts. I wasn’t going to let them take me easily, so I started kicking and lashing out. Years of using my fists to make a point came in handy and I punched one of them right in the groin. He doubled over in pain and I was able to hit the panic button by my bed. An alarm sounded and the two men realised they were going to have to leave without their prize. They ran away and although the guards searched the grounds, there was no sign of them. Penelope pulled me straight out of the school of course. She said she should have known she couldn’t trust anyone else to take care of me properly.”
“That’s awful.” I couldn’t help but feel for Lucas. The more I learned about his childhood, the more it made sense that he’d run out on me after our night together and it explained why he wanted to take things slow. Anyone who’d been through what he had would have commitment issues. It was going to take time for him to see he could trust me and I decided that I was going to give him that time.
Lucas shrugged. “To be honest, with all the crazy things I went through while I was living with Penelope it was pretty much normal for me. But there’s no way I’m going to let my child suffer the way I did. If it means I have to be a little paranoid and hide her away from my enemies when she’s with me, that’s what I’ll do. I’ll do whatever it takes to keep her safe.”
“Hurry up, Daddee!” Amber stood by the front door, jogging from one foot to the other as she waited for us to catch up with her. “I want to see my bedroom!”
“All right, munchkin.” Lucas laughed as he swooped down on her, picking her up and swinging her high before setting her back down on the ground. He unlocked the front door and pushed it open. Bowing low, he gestured to Amber to go inside. “After you, milady.”
Amber skipped into the house and I followed close behind, just as curious as my daughter to see what Lucas’s house was like inside.
The front door opened into a short corridor with doors to the left and right of us which appeared to lead to a lounge and a dining room. After a couple of metres, it opened out into a larger reception room, with stairs to the right leading up to the first floor. There were more doors off this part of the room, but they were shut so I couldn’t see what was behind them.
“Your room’s on the first floor,” Lucas told Amber. “It’s right next door to mine.”
“Can I see it?”
“Of course!”
Lucas took Amber’s hand and the two of them went upstairs. I stayed where I was, wanting to look around a little more. Lucas’s tastes were more conventional than I’d have expected. There were landscape paintings hung on the walls and a closer look at one confirmed my suspicions: it was an original Constable. It was the kind of place that looked understated in that way that only someone with a large amount of money could pull off, with expensive antiques and solid oak furniture.
“Mummy! Come and see my room!” Amber’s voice echoed down the stairs.
“Coming!”
I walked slowly up the stairs, not sue I wanted to see how much effort Lucas had gone to to win my daughter’s affections. For all his talk of wanting her to lead a normal life and not be spoiled, it was pretty clear he was willing to spend money on creating a beautiful home and he knew that the best way to a little girl’s heart was to treat her like a princess.
Amber was waiting for me in the hallway outside her room. It was very clear it belonged to her because her name was spelled out on it in brightly coloured, wooden letters. She was grinning from ear to ear, clearly delighted with whatever was inside.
“You have to see this, Mummy!” She ran over and took my hand, pulling me along and into her room.
“Wow.” I stopped dead in my tracks when I saw what Lucas had done. I knew he was going to do something special, but I really wasn’t expecting this.
The room was large, larger than my own bedroom, and the walls were painted with a mural that made it look like we were in the middle of a fairy tale kingdom. There was a large four poster bed in the middle of the room with layer upon layer of netting draped over the frame to create the perfect little hiding place for a small child. There was a rocking horse to one side of the room and on the other was a huge mound of soft toys, including another large teddy bear like the one currently occupying half of Amber’s bed at home.
“Isn’t it amazing?” Amber ran over to the bed and climbed up on it, jumping about like it was a trampoline.
“Don’t jump on the bed, Amber,” I warned.
“It’s okay,” Lucas said. “Let her have some fun.”
“Can I have a word?” I gestured to Lucas for him to follow me into the hallway.
“What do you think?” he asked, clearly seeking my approval.
“I think you’ve gone way overboard,” I said, his face falling at my words. “It’s too much, Lucas. You were the one saying that you didn’t want her traveling in limos because you wanted Amber to have a normal childhood and then you go and spend goodness knows how much money hiring an artist to paint that mural.”
“No, I didn’t,” Lucas said.
“You can’t mean you painted it yourself?” I did a double take.
“Is it so hard to believe?”
“Well… yes.”
“Penelope said it was important for me to have an understanding of the arts, both in theory and practice,” Lucas told me. “So, she hired a number of tutors to teach me music, art, and drama. In another life, maybe I would have studied art at university instead of being sucked into House politics and an early marriage. I don’t get much time to paint these days, so it was a real honour being able to paint something for Amber. It was nice to put those skills to use for a change.”
“You are a dark horse,” I murmured as Amber ran out and threw herself at Lucas. She squeezed his legs tightly in a bear hug.
“I love my bedroom, Daddy,” she said. “Thank you, thank you, thank you! I want to stay in it forever and ever.”
I looked at Lucas and arched an eyebrow.
“I think Mummy might have something to say about that,” said Lucas. “But you can come and stay here whenever you like. And if there’s anything you want me to change, you just have to tell me.”
“Nope.” Amber shook her head violently. “I’m never going to change a single thing.”
I suspected that might change when she was a few years older, but it was sweet seeing how happy Amber was and although I was annoyed that Lucas was going back on his wish to not spoil her, I could understand why he’d done it. If it got this kind of reaction from his daughter, it made sense that Lucas would want to bond with her through interior design.
“Are you ready for your next surprise?” Lucas asked.
“What is it, Daddy?” Amber bounced up and down, clapping her hands.
“It’s outside. Come and see.”
Amber took Lucas’s hand and the two of them ran downstairs. “Keep up, Mummy!” Amber called over her shoulder and I dutifully hurried after them.
Lucas went through one of the closed doors in the reception room which opened into a kitchen. He went to a door opposite and unlocked it, taking Amber out into the back garden.
Her squeal of delight practically made my ears bleed.
“A pony??”
“Oh, you didn’t.” I shook m
y head. This was a step too far.
“Doesn’t every little girl want a pony?” Lucas grinned at me.
“Yes – until that little girl discovers how much hard work they are,” I pointed out. “Have you any idea how many hours those things need?”
Lucas’s face fell a little. “I thought it would do Amber good to have some responsibility.”
“She’s four, Lucas. She’s a bit too young for that kind of responsibility.” I folded my arms.
“All right. So I’ll hire someone to look after it.”
“Which then means that your little secret hideaway won’t be so secret anymore.”
“I’ll make them sign an NDA.”
“Lucas, you can’t keep a secret pony! It’s not going to work. You’re going to have to get rid of it.”
“It’ll break Amber’s heart.” Lucas gestured to where Amber was stroking the pony’s nose. It was a sweet little thing, brown with a sandy coloured mane, and it seemed very friendly, content to stand at the edge of the enclosure while Amber cooed over it.
“That’s not my problem, Lucas. You were the one who bought the pony. You’re the one who’s going to have to deal with it.”
Lucas sighed and ran a hand through his hair. “I’ll figure something out,” he said at last. “Still, the pony’s here now, so we might as well make the most of it.” He raised his voice. “Hey, Amber! Do you want to go for a ride?”
Amber nodded excitedly as Lucas strode over to her. Shaking my head, I slowly followed.
Lucas talked Amber through the process of putting a bridle on the pony and how to get it to stand still for the saddle – as well as how to make sure the saddle was properly tightened so it wouldn’t slide off mid ride. He’d bought a riding helmet for Amber and soon she was sitting on the back of the pony as Lucas led it round and round the paddock.
I watched the two of them, leaning against the fence of the enclosure. Lucas was giving Amber advice on how to ride and she was listening intently to his every word, doing her best to follow his instructions precisely. I wished she’d listen to me as closely, but then I was her mother. I was the one who had to say no all the time. I was the one who’d been with her for her entire life, dealing with the dirty nappies and sleepless nights. It was easy for Amber to take me for granted and push the boundaries. She knew I would always be there for her. Lucas wasn’t such a sure thing, so Amber was bound to be on her best behaviour with him, at least for now.
At last, Amber had had enough of riding the pony, although not before Lucas had taken copious photos of her sitting on it. He’d taught her how to sit properly while the pony was trotting so she wouldn’t be bumped about in the seat and I was impressed by how natural she looked in the saddle. Maybe Lucas was on to something after all.
“Who wants some dinner?” Lucas asked.
“Me! Me!” Amber put up her hand excitedly.
“How do you fancy… pizza!”
“Yes! Yes! Yes!”
“Okay. Let’s go wash our hands and then we can start making it,” Lucas said.
“We’re going to make the pizza?” Amber frowned. “Mummy always orders it.”
“Making it’s the best bit,” Lucas promised. “How else are you going to make sure the toppings are exactly the way you want them?”
“So I can have whatever I want on my pizza?”
“Of course you can.” Lucas smiled.
“Even banana?”
“If you want banana, anchovy and pepperoni, that’s completely up to you,” Lucas said. “You’re the one eating it.”
Soon, the three of us were gathered around the large table in the middle of Lucas’s kitchen. He got out some dough he’d prepared earlier and showed Amber how to stretch it out to the right size before fetching a dazzling array of possible pizza toppings. He laid them out on the table so that we could help ourselves and the three of us set to work making our pizzas. I kept mine simple – mushroom, mozzarella, and spinach with a drizzle of garlic oil – while Amber piled on handfuls of chopped ham, sweetcorn, salami, pepperoni and cheese.
“Do you want to put banana on that?” asked Lucas.
Amber looked at her pizza, her face screwed up in concentration. “Do you think there’s space?” she asked.
“We can always make space if you really want that banana.”
Amber thought a little more than shook her head. “I think my pizza’s perfect just the way it is.”
I wasn’t surprised to find that Lucas had had an actual pizza oven installed in his kitchen and he helped Amber put her pizza on a large shovel and slide it in to cook.
“It won’t be long before it’s ready,” he told her. “Shall we go and pick out a movie to watch over dinner?”
I groaned when Lucas turned on his smart TV and flicked through to the Disney channel. I knew exactly what film Amber was going to choose. She’d seen it over a hundred times already and never got bored, even if I was happy to never watch it again.
“Moana!” Amber beamed and sat down in the middle of the sofa as Lucas found Amber’s favourite film and put it on.
“I’ve never seen this,” he said, coming to sit next to Amber. “Is it any good?”
“It’s amazing, Daddy,” Amber said seriously. “You’re going to love it!”
I rolled my eyes and sat on the other side of my daughter so that she was sandwiched between her two parents. Amber was so engrossed in the film, she barely noticed when a timer went off on Lucas’s phone to let him know that her pizza was ready. He went off and brought it back on a tray so she could eat without interrupting the film.
He also brought with him a bottle of red wine and a couple of glasses. After he carefully putting Amber’s tray on her lap so she could eat, he stepped to the side and opened the bottle. He poured two glasses, passing one to me.
“I’ve put your pizza on,” he told me.
“Shh!” Amber scolded him. “You’ll miss the best song.”
“Sorry.” Lucas grimaced apologetically at me. He went back to his seat on the other side of Amber. She started to eat her pizza, her eyes never leaving the screen as Moana sang about how much she loved her home and her parents but still wanted to explore the world beyond her island. I couldn’t help myself mouthing along with the words. I’d heard the song so many times I could practically sing it backwards, but Amber never got tired of it and I had to warn her not to sing with her mouth full otherwise she’d have been doing her very best Chloe Auli’i Cravalho impression.
When Moana had finished and the pizza was all gone, Amber insisted on watching Frozen 2. I’d always thought it was a better film than the original, so I was glad she picked that one to show Lucas as I slouched back in the seat and closed my eyes. Another film I’d seen so often I could recreate it in my mind without needing to see the screen, I’d often used this excuse as a cover for taking a sneaky afternoon nap when Amber had worn me out, the two of us snuggling up together in my bed to watch a film together.
“You okay?”
I opened my eyes again as Lucas gently nudged my shoulder.
“Fine,” I said.
“It’s just that you were snoring…”
“I was not!” I looked over to see that Frozen 2 was almost over. It was entirely possible that I had actually been asleep and I blushed.
“It’s okay. Amber’s out for the count so you didn’t ruin her enjoyment of the show.”
I looked down to see Amber curled up against Lucas, her head in his lap.
“You know you’re stuck there for the next few hours, don’t you?” I smiled.
“I don’t mind. It’s nice that she feels relaxed enough with me to do this,” Lucas said. “It’s the perfect end to the day. It’s been good, hasn’t it?”
“Yeah. It has.” I could almost kid myself we were a normal family. “Even though you’re going to break her heart when you tell her the pony has to go.”
“Nah.” Lucas shook his head. “George and me are best friends. He’s not going anywhere. Bes
ides, what I didn’t tell you earlier is that he doesn’t actually live here. His regular home is at a stable not far from where you live so you can take Amber to see him whenever she likes. So you see you didn’t have to worry about how he was going to be taken care of. I’d already sorted it.”
“You could have told me.”
“I could… But then I wouldn’t have had the fun of seeing you get all worked up in righteous indignation at the thought I would randomly buy a high maintenance animal just to impress a four-year-old.”
I opened my mouth to argue then closed it again. “I suppose I deserve that,” I said at last. “I’m sorry, Lucas. This is hard for me. I’m doing my best.”
“I know. It’s hard for me too,” Lucas said. “Discovering I had a daughter I didn’t know about was a real shock and the chances are high I’m going to mess up at this parenting thing more than once. That’s why I need you to tell me when I get it wrong – but also cut me some slack and don’t assume the worst. I’m doing my best to make this work.”
“Yes. You are. And I appreciate it.”
For a moment, I thought Lucas would lean over to kiss me, but Amber snorted and writhed a little in her sleep, reminding me of the child between us.
Another time.
“Look, I know it’s not what we agreed, but would the two of you like to stay overnight?” Lucas asked. “I’m happy to wake Amber up and drive you both home if that’s what you prefer, but it seems silly when there’s a bedroom literally with her name on it upstairs. I have plenty of spare rooms you could use.”
I looked down at Amber. She looked so peaceful sleeping there. Much as the sensible thing to do would be to assert my boundaries and go home, I hated the idea of disturbing her as much as Lucas seemed to.
“We’ll stay,” I decided.
Chapter Seventy-Nine
Lucas tucked Amber up in her four-poster bed. She’d barely stirred when he’d moved to pick her up and as he dropped a gentle kiss on her cheek, she smiled in her sleep but didn’t open her eyes.