by Kylie Walker
Most people spent a lifetime seeking that. We'd found each other at a young age. Doing without her had been hard; I was kind of relieved to know she felt the same way.
“I missed you too,” I told her easily, knowing she wanted me to reply in kind. That she needed the reassurance warmed my heart. “It was like having my happiness cut off at the source.” I sucked in a breath. “I've cut myself off from a lot of people, Abby. Mostly to protect myself. I couldn't let anyone get close, not when I knew how painful it was to do without them when they left.”
“I won't leave you again,” she whispered, her voice filled with grit even though the volume was low.
I shook my head at her words though. “You can't say that yet. It's early days.” I settled my hand on her knee and squeezed gently. “But I understand. I feel the same way. I want to say, here and now, that I want this to work. That I want us to make it work. But we're different, Abby. We're not the same as we used to be, so, I think we should take the time to date. To get to know one another again. There's no rush. We've lost all these years, so it only makes sense for us to make up for that.”
A slow smile quivered on her lips, and it was a relief to see it. I wasn't sure how she'd take my suggestion. The Abby of old had always been impulsive and slightly impetuous. When she wanted something, she went after it until she could hold it in both hands.
I knew I could fall under that category which was why I'd couched my suggestion the way I had.
There was no way I was letting her go. She was mine, but at the same time, I needed her to understand that we had to work at this. We had to learn one another again. There was no taking each other for granted.
“I like the sound of that,” she told me. “I really do.”
“Well, that's a relief,” I teased, making her chuckle.
“I can't believe I'm here, that we're here.”
I knew how she felt. It was crazy, but somehow, we'd made it to this point. I refused to make a mess of this; it was too important, we were too important. I vowed to myself that I'd find a way to make this work, or I'd die trying.
Chapter 12
ABBY
“Chase said Will's been asking for you at the office.”
I cocked a brow at Joze's words. And rather than answer the statement, I fought back with, “What the hell's going on between you and Chase?”
She reared back, her back butting into the booth seat. We were in Lilian's, drinking Tequila Sunrises and waiting for our order of tacos to arrive. She picked up her own shot of sunshine and took a deep sip.
“That bad, huh?” I teased, watching her gulp down the pretty strong tipple.
“Not bad, just convoluted.”
“What do you mean?” I asked, frowning at the grimness to her tone.
“Chase is...” She shook her head. “He's fucking complicated. Always has been.”
“You never told me why you guys split up. What happened?”
“I found out—”
As she was about to spill the beans, the server arrived with our orders. With a friendly smile, she placed the dishes on the table, asked if we needed a refill, then left when we told her we didn't need anything else.
“Go on,” I prompted, picking up my soft-shell and diving in.
“When we were dating, he got drunk one night with some friends and slept with someone else.”
My eyes widened at that confession. “Chase cheated on you?”
Her lips twitched at my astonishment. It was a cool smile, though. No amusement loaded there. “Yeah. He did.” She sighed. “He swore to me it was because he was absolutely hammered. Said he didn't even remember the woman's name or what she looked like. They went back to his place and he only knew he'd fucked someone because when he woke up, lipstick was smeared on the sheets and he could smell a perfume that wasn't mine. She'd left though. Pulled a coyote on him.”
“Good, serves him right,” I bit off after taking a ferocious bite of my taco. I waggled it in her face and said, “If I'd known, I'd have slapped him myself.”
“Why do you think I didn't tell you?” she mumbled. “I didn't want you getting in trouble with your boss.”
“Screw that,” I retorted. “You matter more to me than that.”
“I know, sweetie, I do. But I had to protect you.” She jerked a shoulder. “What's done is done. He told me that day. Confessed to everything. We split up because I couldn't handle it.”
“Rightly so.”
“I mean, for him to get that drunk and for something of that nature to happen? It seemed like it could happen again and again. I didn't want my future to be with a guy who could be like that.”
“Who could blame you?” I took a sip of my drink. “Why do you still see him, Joze? I know you still sleep together.”
She sucked in a sharp breath and plunked the taco she'd been picking at rather than attacking the way I had. “Because I love him. And he loves me.”
The poignancy in her words had my stomach clenching. I knew how that felt. To be in love with someone, to need them, but for them to have let you down so badly, for them to have hurt you so deeply that you hated them too because only they had access to that part of your soul where a small pain felt like a knife wound.
I reached for her hand and squeezed it. “I'm sorry, Joze.”
“It is what it is,” she told me huskily. “I-I think I'll take him back. Eventually. I'm still processing it, and I'm still, I guess, waiting for him to prove himself. I need to know something like that won't happen again. I need to know he has to the self-control to ensure nothing happens to destroy what we have together.”
“He broke your trust, Joze. But I think he wants to make amends. He said something the other week… he wants you back. Properly, I mean. Not this on/off again thing you have.”
“Do you think I don't want him back? Of course I do. I love him, Abby. That doesn't go away. But I'm waiting for a sign. When it happens, he'll be the first to know.” She picked up her taco again and I could tell she forced herself to take a bite. When she swallowed it, she asked, “Go on then, spill the beans about Will. The last time we talked about him, you hated his guts, and now, Chase tells me he keeps asking about you in the office.”
“I spoke to my dad. He told me the truth, and ever since, well, we're dating,” I told her, biting my lip when her mouth formed a perfect O.
“You're what?” she screeched, banging her hands down on the table in astonishment. “Why the hell didn't you tell me?”
“Because it's early days yet.”
“So? What the fuck does that have to do with it?”
I peered around and saw a few patrons staring our way. I hushed her, ignored the subsequent glower, and murmured, “It's… delicate, Joze. Fragile. We're both walking on glass at the minute. Trying to rediscover one another, getting to know each other's quirks again. It's—” I smiled. “Nice.”
“Why does nice seem like a namby-pamby word?”
“Probably because it is,” I told her with a quick grin. “It in no way describes how wonderful it is to be with him again.”
She tilted her head to the side as she studied me. “What went on with your dad?”
“I'm not talking to him. Not until I process what we discussed. Basically, he let me think Will betrayed me, that he took his money when he hadn't. The minute I realized he'd been lying, I went to Will.”
“And you've been dating ever since?”
I nodded. “We're taking it slowly, one day at a time.”
“Are you happy with that?”
I nodded, and carefully tilted the conversation elsewhere. She let me because I knew we were both thinking about that word happy. In fact, I knew we were both thinking about that long after we finished our meal and parted ways. Joze returning to work after hours on some case that was taking too long to finish up, me heading to Will's place.
He was cooking dessert for me, and we were eating it outside on his terrace. I'd been looking forward to it all day. I'd told him about
my standing date with Joze, and rather than be huffy or mad that I wasn't spending the time with him, he'd told me to wait out dessert and we could eat it together.
As I sat in the cab on the ride over to his place, I had to wonder if happy summed up how I felt.
A part of me was ecstatic. Another part filled with trepidation.
I wanted this to work. I wanted that wonderful relationship, that unique partnership I'd had with him to flourish once more. Then I was scared it wouldn't work out. That I'd be left out in the cold again.
The see-saw of my emotions was still tiring me out, and the only thing that settled my equilibrium was talking to Will, being with him.
Every moment we were together, I was reminded of how good we'd been as a couple, and even though we had changed—naturally neither of us was the same as we'd once been—we still gelled well.
The cab pulled up outside Will's house and I paid the fare. Rummaging around my bag, I found the key he'd given me the other day—only two weeks after that ill-fated conversation with my father—and let myself in.
As I walked down the hall, I heard him talking and knew he was on the phone in the study. I popped my head around the door and shot him a smile. He returned it but there was a look on his face, one that was equal parts excited and harried.
I'd intended on going up to the bedroom where I had a few yoga pants and comfortable t-shirts stored away for nights when I came to his home straight after work, but seeing his intent, I entered the office and perched my behind on the arm of the Chesterfield.
Watching him pace back and forth, I could feel his nervous energy and wished like hell I knew what was going on. It didn't take long for the conversation to dwindle though and when he put the phone down, there was a huge grin on his face.
“What's going on?”
“She fell for the bait.” He fist-pumped the air; a habit of his I'd recently noticed. The self-congratulatory gesture reminded me of tennis players post-win.
“Who did?”
“The blackmailer.”
I blinked, then pulled out my cell phone. I had ten missed calls from Chase. “That's fabulous news!”
“Isn't it? She agreed to hand over the footage she has, all of it, including the hard drive of the computer she uses, in return for evidence we have on her bank transactions.” He strode across the room, pulled me into his arms, then planted a kiss on my lips. “I wasn't sure if it would work, but I knew it was a great idea. Well done for thinking of it!”
“And the sextape?”
“Destroyed!”
“You know that sextape is what brought us back together.” I said smiling against his mouth, grinning even more when he bent me over for an old Hollywood kiss. As he pulled me back up again, he grabbed a hold of my waist and lifted me up. Knowing what he intended, I jumped up, hooking my knees around his hips, and let him carry me away to wherever he wanted. What he wanted was to lug me down the hall, up the stairs, and into his bedroom.
He placed me carefully on the mattress, crawled between my legs, and came on top of me. Dispersing his weight by putting his forearms on either side of my head, he surrounded me in his essence and I breathed it in, reveling in his scent.
When his lips collided with mine, I moaned against his mouth. Content to let him take charge, I felt myself swept into the passion that ignited between us whenever we touched. It was crazy how the fire could start between us, crazier still that that fire never seemed to burn away.
As he kissed me, he lifted his weight off me a little and with one hand, tugged at the buttons on my blouse. How he achieved it, I don't know, but he unbuttoned most of them and then managed to unhook the front clasp of my bra. Within seconds, his hand was touching the delicate skin of my breasts and as he squeezed my nipple, tugging it to life, a cry escaped me.
He nipped at my bottom lip, then reared up and off me to undress me properly. The rest of my skirt gave way to his touch, my bra too, and soon, I was naked from the waist up. My my panties were quickly on the floor and I was instantly naked.
The weight of his body was a wonderful load when he returned to me, and the sensation of his clothes against my naked form as well as the knowledge he was fully dressed while I was nude, messed with my head.
At the apex of my thighs, I could feel the burning heat gathering there and knew that I couldn't stand much more. Sometimes with him, just being kissed was enough to drive me crazy, when with other lovers, they could have spent a lifetime with their hands between my legs and I wouldn't have felt a thing.
He understood my urgency because I felt his hand fumble between us, then his cock was free and it was brushing against the folds of my sex. With little preamble, he lodged the tip of his shaft inside me and thrusted deep.
A sob burst from me at the sensation of the fullness, and he swallowed it as he slipped his tongue into my mouth. At the same time as he rocked his hips, he fucked my mouth. The pressure deep inside me felt like it could bubble over as he stole my air, heightening the power of the moment, claiming me as his more than just sexually—he dominated me in the truest sense of the word. He controlled the very air I breathed as well as the pleasure I was feeling.
Knowing that, it took little to tumble over into the chaos of orgasm. The jumble of sensation, the force of it, always stunned me. And when he came, his cum pelting me deep inside, I felt that sense of wonder I always did.
We were together again. As we always ought to have been.
Through the chaos, we had found one another, and I knew, that from now on, nothing would come between us. We wouldn't allow it. He was mine and I was his. It was as simple as that. When other people got in the way, complications arose, but it was up to us to never allow anyone to get between us again.
We'd been young before, and I, especially, had been naive. I'd listened and believed where I should have known to question and argue. Never again. My relationship with my father would always be precarious because when there was no trust, there was nothing. As such, I knew he'd destroyed any chance of us ever reaching that precious friendship between parent and child that came through adulthood. I would have been upset, but I had this man.
I knew better than to let him become my everything, but I knew he would always take up the largest part of my heart and soul.
That was how it was supposed to be with soul mates though, wasn't it?
I'd lost mine to youthful folly, but I'd been fortunate. Hell, I'd had the devil's luck, because he was back. I was in his arms. And all was right with the world.
He seemed to understand my train of thought because his kisses became tender, and through my gasping breaths as my heart slowed to its regular pace and my lungs ceased burning, he pecked at my lips and chin, my cheeks and temple, dotting tiny kisses over my brow and eyelids.
“I love you,” he whispered, sucking the lobe of my ear between his lips.
As sensation juddered through me, both from his caresses and that, his first declaration of love, I could do no less than return the words. “And I love you, Will.”
THE END
BONUS BOOK
DECEIVED
Chapter 1
Sitting, watching, almost in a blur as people rushed by her at a fast pace. It almost seemed as though time was standing still. She was lost in her thoughts as she waited on the outside bench at the LAX Airport pick up zone.
She couldn’t understand how her life had been flipped upside down within a year. Gripping the sides of her purse, Angela Black knew her life would be forever changed and it scared the living shit out of her.
She had never really liked Los Angeles, but knew she had to make a drastic change in her life. Her home town only left feelings of loss and grief. Those very things that were tearing her apart slowly would now be left behind but would still be held as memories. She knew she would never forget but had to try and let it go.
Angela watched the people passing bye as she leaned back and let her mind drift to the last twelve months of her life.
Whe
n she and her husband, Blake Gauthier had received the call last April from their doctor they had no idea how one sentence could tear their lives apart. “I’m sorry Mr. Gauthier. You have Stage IIIC Stomach Cancer.” When Blake repeated the words to her, they splintered inside of her causing the same amount of pain as the cancer would itself. What he was saying was, no more walks in the park. No more surprise birthday parties or early morning breakfasts in bed. No more sightseeing, vacationing or cuddling on the couch. Life from here on out would be four walls and pain for both of them. One word…life altering…
Before this, their lives seemed picture perfect. They had been married for almost three years. Angela’s career was taking off with a well-known Marketing Agency in Miami while Blake was establishing his contracting business. They had met in high school and instantly fell for one another. Their connection was instant and their love for one another was so strong that it would exude to others. They were the envy of so many of their friends.
Blake was Angela’s rock, the man she had loved so deeply, the man she was supposed to spend the rest her life with and have children with and now he only had 6 months to live. How could life be so cruel? How could God in all of his goodness give her this man to love and then take him away so abruptly?
Angela could never have been prepared for what was to come. Leaving her job to be by Blake’s side, the long grueling nights watching him suffer in pain. Watching the man she first fell in love with slowly die in front of her was heart wrenching. Something changed in Angela. A piece of her died that day and she had no idea if she would ever be the same again. The grief consumed her and somehow took over and held her soul until it threatened to kill her entirely. It gave her a heavy feeling that was like the weight of the world resting on her shoulders. For a while it felt like there was nothing she could do to get out from underneath it. There was a hole in her heart in the shape of Blake that no matter how much she healed…would always remain.