She tried to imagine herself slowing as she reached his house just long enough for Minerva to see her and push him nonchalantly out the door. She practiced looking shocked to see him. Would she say, “Oh, wow, you live here? I totally forgot!” Or would that be too obviously untrue? She tried to picture what he would look like now, but all that came to mind was him … then. Campbell skipping shells over the water. Campbell fishing off the pier, his wrist deftly casting the rod from years of practice. Campbell helping her cross Mad Inlet as they made their way to the mailbox, his hand reaching out to her, the sun glinting on his hair, lighting him up like an angel God sent straight to her. Snapshots her mind stored all those years. All images she thought she had let go of forever.
Her thoughts were racing. He wasn’t married! He still lived here! Deep down she wanted to run to him, to burst through his door and say all the things she never got to say, to hopefully hear him say how sorry he was for ever letting her go. She caught herself short, scolding herself for reacting like a lovesick teenager. Hadn’t nearly twenty years gone by? Had she grown up at all? She grinned stupidly and checked her watch. Nearly five o’clock. For Minerva’s little plan to work tonight, she needed to make it back to the house, feed the kids, and then leave for her “no big deal, I do this all the time” walk.
She dusted off her hands and stood up, waving dramatically at the children until they saw her and dragged themselves out of the water, looking bereft. “Time to go!” she called merrily, trying to sound like leaving in the middle of all their fun was the best idea she had all day. “I’ll bet you guys have worked up quite an appetite out there with all that boogie boarding!” She knew she didn’t sound like herself and hoped they didn’t notice. They gathered towels and bags and shovels and pails. Lindsey wrestled with her beach chair while Anna and Jake loaded up the rest of their things for the short trek home.
While the kids changed out of their wet suits, Lindsey popped open a Diet Coke and told them to stay out of the Popsicles before dinner. She had finally stocked up at the grocery store in town that morning, so they had plenty to eat. She picked the meat from a rotisserie chicken she bought and piled that on some bagged salad. She set out bacon bits, croutons, and shredded cheese, then announced “Dinner!” almost before they were done changing.
Anna and Jake emerged from their rooms, squinting as their eyes were still adjusting to the dim light of the indoors. They looked so healthy with the sun-kissed glow of their skin and sun-streaked hair. She hugged them both and, miraculously, they didn’t complain or pull away. “Eat up!” she said, pointing to the food. She watched them eat with the satisfaction of feeding her children that only a mother could understand. When they were done, she told them they could take a Popsicle out on the porch while she took a shower. They cheered and immediately began arguing over who got what flavor. She shook her head and slipped away to the sanctuary of a long, hot shower.
As she pulled her blow-dried hair into a ponytail, her heart began to drum in a funny rhythm. If she felt absolutely queasy at the mere prospect of seeing him, how would she handle a conversation, should it happen? She considered not going, wondered if she was crazy to open up that can of worms when all the other pieces of her life were just beginning to fall into some sort of place. Seeing Campbell again could potentially change all that she had worked for, like a checkerboard that had been bumped. Just a small upset was enough to slide the pieces out of their strategic places.
But then again, her checkers weren’t exactly in a winning position. So why not take a risk? She smiled at her reflection in the mirror and decided that a touch of gloss on her lips would compliment her lightly tanned face. Any more makeup than that and it would belie her act: that she was just out for a casual, aimless walk.
As she finished dabbing on her gloss, she whispered, “Lord, if You want this to happen, then it will. But one thing: If You could help me to not embarrass myself, I’d be grateful. And if I don’t see him tonight, I’ll probably need some help with disappointment.”
The light over the mirror caught on her diamond wedding band, and she stared down at it. Just two years ago on their vacation to Sunset, Grant had surprised her with a new diamond ring as they sat at the mailbox together. He had held her hand and slipped on the ring, promising new beginnings. She hadn’t had the heart to take it off since Grant left. She didn’t want to stop believing in the things he had promised her.
But it was time. With a sad but resolved smile she slipped the ring from her finger and placed it in the bathroom drawer, shutting it with a small bang as she left the room.
She headed toward the porch and sat down in the empty rocking chair beside Anna and Jake, who were watching the first streaks of pink cross the sky as the sun made its way down for the night. They had thrown their Popsicle sticks down on the porch floor, but she didn’t scold them. They sat in rare, companionable silence for a while before she bent over and began putting on her tennis shoes.
“Where ya goin’, Mom?” Jake asked.
She tried to sound nonchalant. “Oh, just thought I’d go for a walk. Walk off dinner.”
Anna rolled her eyes. “But you didn’t eat much, Mom.” Anna was right. Lindsey’s appetite had left with Grant.
“Oh, I did too!” Lindsey retorted. She tousled her daughter’s hair, which had nearly dried with the seawater still in it. She smelled like a combination of a child’s skin and the beach, a magical concoction Lindsey wished she could bottle. “Why don’t you two take turns taking showers while I’m gone?” She formed this as a question, but they knew a command when they heard one.
“We want to go on a walk with you, Mom!” Jake said, just before she could charge down the porch steps and make her escape. She stopped short. “We can take showers when we get back,” he added, looking pitiful.
“Yeah, let us go with you, Mom,” Anna echoed.
Of course, the one time I don’t ask them to accompany me on a walk, they volunteer. Go figure, Lindsey thought.
She formulated excuses for not taking them. But before she could say, “Mommy just needs some time alone,” she spoke something else entirely. “Well, okay. Go put on your walking shoes.”
The kids raced inside while she wondered what had just happened and how dragging along two unpredictable children would figure into Minerva’s plan. Lindsey hoped it would all work out somehow as she and her children set off on their walk, heading toward something she never expected, in a way she never would have planned.
Chapter 19
Sunset Beach
Summer 2004
If Campbell said he hadn’t been watching for her, he would have been lying. Minerva and her scheming had set him up for an encounter that he had only dreamed of happening. Through no efforts of his own, the girl he never forgot could walk down his street after nearly twenty years any day now. Any minute now, in fact. So he continually watched for a glimpse, wondering if he would have the courage to actually talk to her when the time came. If the time came.
“Campbell,” his mother scolded, “get away from that window. You look like a stalker, standing there scanning the street.”
He shook his head. Minerva and her big mouth. He turned to face his mom. “So, Minerva told you about Lindsey?”
She washed the dinner dishes, her gray head bent down as she ran water over the plates. She looked up at him from across the room. “I always did like that girl. She made you happier than I’ve ever seen you. Before or since.” She looked at Campbell without blinking.
Tell me something I don’t already know, he thought. He smiled at her.
“What can I say, Mom?” he pointed up at Nikki’s closed bedroom door, where loud music emanated. “I was hormonally challenged.”
She threw her head back and laughed. His mom had the best laugh, but he’d rarely heard it since his dad died. “Well, it seems to me you might be getting another chance
,” she said. “Minerva seems to think she’s here alone.” She raised her eyebrows. “As in, no husband.”
He walked into the kitchen and poured some iced tea, intending to carry it out to the porch. “Mom, let’s just say, I hope Minerva’s right. It would be nice for something to go well for once.”
His mother dried her hands on a dish towel and changed the subject. “Well, at least Nikki ate some dinner tonight. I guess that first session did something for her. Did she tell you anything about it?”
“Nope, not a word. And I didn’t ask a whole lot of questions either. I figure she’ll tell me what she wants me to know.”
“I suspect you’re right,” his mother agreed. She gestured up at Nikki’s closed door. “Still, I think I’ll go upstairs and try to talk to her.” She winked at him. “Grandmas are supposed to be nosey.”
He watched his mom go upstairs and enter Nikki’s room before he took his tea and headed out to the porch. For the next hour he counted twelve people who walked past his house. Several couples with strollers walked past, probably out to walk off dinner and take in the night air. But no Lindsey.
His memory wandered to a night during the second summer they had spent together. They had walked out to the end of the pier, something they did almost every night. They loved how it felt isolated and dangerous and thrilling, with just the crash of the ocean waves under them and the expansive starlit sky above. They had taken Campbell’s Sony Walkman and shared the headphones between them as “Boys of Summer” by Don Henley played. “This should be our song,” she told him, her head pressed close to his as they listened. He took her in his arms and began to dance with her, the rickety boards of the Sunset Beach pier creaking underneath them.
I can tell you
My love for you will still be strong
After the boys of summer have gone
Campbell remembered how he never wanted that night to end.
Taking a sip of his iced tea, Campbell noticed a ragtag little crew rounding the corner from Main Street. A woman with two children. The boy and girl jostled each other and ran circles around their mom as she swatted at them playfully. She laughed and her voice carried down the silent street. A chill ran up Campbell’s spine. He knew that laugh anywhere. Funny, he would have sworn he had forgotten it until he heard it again.
His heart thrummed wildly in his chest as they slowly approached. He stood and walked to the railing of the porch. The sunset had colored the sky a brilliant pink, wrapping her and her children in a rosy glow. He watched them like a voyeur, delighting in seeing her again, working up the courage to speak as she neared his house.
The girl—who was maybe twelve, thirteen?—looked like Lindsey probably had at that age. Her hair was the exact same color as Lindsey’s when Campbell knew her, though he noticed that Lindsey’s had darkened over the years. The boy, he imagined, must look like his father. The boy lumbered along beside Lindsey, alternating between holding his mother’s hand and letting it go. He let it go when Campbell called her name.
The trio stopped and stared. “Hey,” he said, working hard to appear confident and certain. Lindsey shielded her eyes from the sun and blinked back at him. “Fancy seeing you here,” he added, which sounded much lamer coming out of his mouth than it did in his head. He smiled, trying to cover.
“Hi, Campbell,” she said, pasting on a smile. “It’s really good to see you.” The kids looked from her to him and back to her, like an audience at a tennis match. She laughed nervously. “Wow, how long’s it been?”
“Almost twenty years,” he said, though he was sure she knew exactly how long it had been. He walked down the porch steps as she crossed the yard. They met in the middle and hugged awkwardly. She smelled—was it possible?—just the way he remembered, like aloe. He breathed her scent in and looked down to find the two children staring at them. He let her go. Don’t be so obvious, Campbell. “So,” he said, his palms sweating, “what are you guys up to?”
“Oh, nothin’,” she said, her cheeks flushed from more than one day on the beach. “Just out for an evening stroll. You know, walking off dinner and all that,” she said, laughing. “Plus”—she looked to her children—“I had to get you wild kids out of the house and do something!” She waved her hand at them both. “These are my children, Jake and Anna.” Jake waved at him, but Anna turned away, embarrassed. “Can me and Jake, like, keep walking if you are going to stand here and talk?” the girl asked impatiently.
“Yeah, can we, Mom?” the boy piped up, looking excited. She glanced down the empty street and back at him.
Lindsey looked at Campbell with a smirk, then back down to her children. “I guess it won’t hurt. I’ll be right here catching up with my old … friend,” she said, a fumble for the right word to describe him. What word would he have used?
The boy grinned and hit his sister in the back of the head. “You’re it, Anna!” He took off running with the girl hot on his heels. They thundered away and left Campbell alone with Lindsey. He couldn’t thank them enough.
“Nice meeting you guys!” he yelled after them. “It’s great to see you,” he said and smiled at her.
“Though obviously, no accident, our meeting like this,” she said. Just like the Lindsey he remembered to always get to the heart of things. She looked down at the ground, kicking at a stray shell with her toe.
He decided to get to the heart of things as well. “So, you’re here alone?” She looked up from the ground, blinking at him as if he had hit a nerve. “I mean, your husband isn’t here?”
She sighed deeply. “No, he’s not here this year.” She paused, watching her children play. A resolute look crossed her face when she turned back to him. “The truth is he’s not ever going to be here again. We, um … we split up a year ago. The divorce was final just this week. He said he wanted a different kind of life than—” she gestured to the kids—“this.”
Before he could stop himself, Campbell reached out and took Lindsey’s hand. He felt an electric current run between them. He felt a boldness he couldn’t explain, but he went with it. “Well, I’d love to tell you I’m sorry, but I’m afraid I can’t. That idiot just gave me the open door I’ve been waiting for, for a very long time.” He smiled, hoping she wouldn’t pull away. She didn’t. They stood in silence for a few minutes, grinning stupidly at each other as the kids came racing back up. He discreetly dropped her hand.
“Let’s go, Mom!” the boy, Jake, said. Campbell was not ready for her to go. He searched for a way to stall.
“Hey, kids,” he said, his mind replaying the scene from that morning when Minerva stood in his kitchen, unloading bag after bag of junk food. “I happen to have a stash of great junk food in the house. Would you like to raid my kitchen? You can take anything you like. Load up!” He glanced over at Lindsey. “If that’s okay with your mom, that is.” He raised his eyebrows in question.
She laughed. “Well, as I always say, what’s a beach vacation without a serious indulgence in junk food?” The kids looked at them unbelievingly for a moment before charging up the porch steps. Lindsey and Campbell followed behind them, smiling at each other.
Campbell helped the kids load two bags with the stuff that Minerva left behind. The boy kept asking, “Are you sure we can have this? For real?”
“Yeah, someone gave me all this stuff and I can’t eat it, so why not?” he responded as he smiled at Lindsey again.
The girl scanned the house, checking the place out. She glanced at him, then her mother. “So, do you like, live here?” she asked skeptically. The thought of someone actually living at Sunset seemed foreign to her, something she never considered.
Lindsey answered her, “Yes, Campbell’s lived at Sunset all his life.”
The girl crossed her arms and sized them up. “So, how do you two know each other?”
Lindsey put her arm around the girl’s shoulder
, as if shielding her from the truth. “Well, when I was not much older than you are now, I came down here with Uncle Bob—whose house we stay in—and Campbell and I were friends back then.”
“It was a long time ago,” Campbell added, stating the obvious.
“So, where’s your wife?” the girl countered.
“Well, I live with my mom, and right now my daughter is living with me too. Nikki.” He looked around the house, willing them to appear. “They’re around here somewhere,” he added. He glanced up at Nikki’s closed door and said to Lindsey, “I’d love for you to meet Nikki.”
She nodded, her face reddening slightly. He scolded himself internally for his words. Nikki still reminded her of bad news and bad endings, of course. “I mean, eventually,” he fumbled around like an awkward adolescent. For some reason, Lindsey’s presence rendered him exactly that. He held up two full grocery bags. “Well, this look like enough junk food to get you two through at least a day?”
They giggled.
“You sure y’all can walk all the way home carrying these bags, or can I offer you a ride?”
Jake piped up, “Ride! We walked forever to get here.”
Campbell looked at Lindsey. “Funny, it never seemed that long to me.”
She smiled and looked away to the window, but not before he saw her cheeks redden. “I think a ride home would be nice,” she replied quietly, still facing the window.
“Well then, one ride coming right up.” He grabbed his truck keys and led the way out the door. The kids followed him, with Lindsey last. As he tossed the bags into the back of the truck, he saw her pause in the doorway, looking at the house before shutting the door. This was, he realized, exactly what she wanted. When he got the chance, he would tell her that it was exactly what he wanted too.
w
It was so “high school” to admit she was disappointed when the kids hopped in the car beside Campbell and she couldn’t sit beside him. She wanted to be next to him, squeezed into the cab of his truck so close they could feel each other breathe. She wanted his warmth next to her, to breathe in his smell. No one said a word as they drove the short distance home.
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