“It could happen. Anything could happen. What if I freeze? What if the words won’t come? What if I’m the only one who can speak the language, and the full responsibility of everyone’s safety rests on me?”
“You’ll do your best.”
“And what if my best isn’t good enough? What if instead of me getting hurt, someone loses their life?”
“You can’t live your life in fear of making a mistake!”
Anger bubbled up. “That’s logical and easy to say, but I can’t feel that way.” Logan’s leg brushed her arm, and the anger faded away. Is this how he’d felt when she’d offered him advice?
“So what are you going to do?”
She shook her head. “I don’t know. I’m supposed to go to D.C. to a fund-raiser in a few weeks. Maybe once I’m back there, I’ll feel differently.”
“And what about us?”
She frowned. “We’re almost as complicated.”
He chucked her gently under the chin. “Oh, you think so? Is being friends so complicated?”
His large body next to her, his scent all around her, his face leaning toward hers with its character and determination and kindness, made her ask bemusedly, “Friends?” Suddenly the reality of their kiss and the definition of the word clashed. Leaning just a tad away, she tried to tease, “Friends who kiss?”
He held her chin in his palm, and the heat from his hand traveled through her whole body. “Friends who kiss and learn about each other and let whatever happens happen.”
She withdrew from his touch, protecting herself. “I don’t live like that.”
“You don’t have friends?”
“I don’t jump without a parachute.”
“What kind of a man do you think I am, Meg?”
“I don’t know. I don’t know if you go to bars on weekends and pick up women. I don’t know if sex means more to you than the moment.”
“Don’t you?”
She was building walls, maybe trying to shock him into going away. She was scared to death to get close to him—scared because of the last time she’d fallen in love, scared because she didn’t live in Willow Valley and he did.
“I’m not ready to jump into anything, either,” he said. “Lord knows, I’ve got enough to handle right now with Travis. But I like being around you. And I really like kissing you.” His eyes twinkled as his crooked smile melted her.
She returned his smile. “I think you’ve had a lot of training in learning how to convince and charm.”
“You think I’m charming?”
His smile was so sexy, his expression so ingenuous, she laughed.
He cradled her head and drew her toward him. His kiss was easy, no demands, no promises. But there was excitement and a sense of adventure that left her breathless.
Logan pulled away. “I’ll walk you to Gibson’s.”
She felt as if she were traveling to a foreign country, one where she’d never been before. When she looked up at Logan, she didn’t see the uncertainty she felt, and she wondered just how well she knew him.
Michael Holden closed the folder on his desk. “It sounds good, Meg. Notices to the parents were e-mailed last week. Parents aren’t as involved with teenagers as they are with elementary-aged children, so you might only get four or five per class. And these days, with both parents working, it’s tough for them to be involved.”
“I’m hoping the students will get a peek of other cultures and widen their perspective.”
“Well, something you said sparked Travis MacDonald. He was always a good student without much effort. Now he’s putting forth some effort. He’s interested in the student-exchange program.”
“I’m glad he’s looking into it. You know, I could use some help with the technical aspects of the presentation on Friday, setting up my computer and the interactive white board. Do you think he’d be interested?”
Michael tapped a few keys on his computer and brought up a schedule. “He’s at lunch. Why don’t you go to the cafeteria and ask him? He usually sits with his friends at the table nearest the back exit.”
“I think I’ll do that.”
“You’re trying to get him more involved, aren’t you?”
“He needs roots, something to hold on to.”
“Can I ask you something personal?”
She cocked her head.
“Are you and Logan seeing each other?”
And how was she supposed to answer that? She hadn’t heard from Logan since he’d walked her to Gibson’s a few days ago. “Not formally.”
He studied her for a moment. “If some night you decide you’d like to go to dinner, give me a call.”
Michael Holden was a nice man and very good-looking to boot. But she didn’t feel the pull toward him she felt toward Logan.
He must have seen her answer on her face. “Think about it.”
She smiled. “I will.”
After Meg left Michael’s office, she headed for the cafeteria. She entered the large, noisy room, remembering lunches in high school, the rowdiness, the chattering, the food fights that occasionally broke out as teenagers let off steam. The boys at Travis’s table shoveled in food and talked around their forks.
One of them whistled as Meg walked toward the table. Her navy slacks and oxford shirt were nothing to snag attention. She ignored the blonde with the leering smile and addressed Travis. “Can I talk to you for a few minutes?”
“Woo-eee, Travis. Who’s the babe?” the blonde asked, his elbow jabbing Travis.
Travis scrambled from the bench. “Stuff it, Kyle.” He walked with Meg over to the corner of the room. Digging his hands into his pockets, he asked, “Is there a problem?”
“No. Not at all. I wondered if you’d like to help me set up the equipment for my presentation on Friday.”
“What equipment?”
“My computer and the interactive white board. Would you like to help?”
Travis glanced over at the table where his friends sat.
“If you don’t want to, Mr. Holden can get someone else. I understand if you’re worried about what your friends might think.”
“I don’t care what they think. Besides…since I took off and managed to come back alive, they think I’m cool.”
She smiled. “You are cool but not because you ran away and survived.”
“Oh, yeah. Real cool.”
“Don’t sell yourself short, Travis.”
He shifted on his sneakers, uncomfortable with her praise. “I’ll help you.”
“Can you come in early? I’m going to set up in study hall C.”
“What time?”
“Is eight o’clock too early?”
“Nope.”
“How are you and your dad getting along?”
“We’re not.”
Meg decided maybe what these two males needed was a referee. But she wasn’t sure if she wanted to volunteer for the job.
Friday evening, Lily handed Meg a stack of dishes to load into the dishwasher. “Word has it your presentation at the high school went very well.”
Meg shook her head and smiled. “Word” had probably been spread by one parent who had e-mailed so-and-so, who had talked to so-and-so. “The kids seemed to enjoy it. At first they thought I was going to lecture and they could sleep. But when I made it clear I wanted their comments and questions, they weren’t shy.”
“How’d it go with Travis?”
Meg had told her aunt she’d asked him to assist her. “He was a big help. I think his reputation went up a notch because the other students thought he ‘knew’ me.”
“You counted on that, didn’t you?”
“I’d hoped. Now, if I’d have bombed, I don’t know what would have happened to Travis’s reputation.”
The only discordant note had been the tension between Travis and Logan. Travis had ignored his father from the moment Logan had entered the study hall, and he’d pretended to be too busy to talk afterward. Logan had simply nodded to Meg and left after
the period was over.
A warm breeze fluttered the leaves of the philodendron sitting on the kitchen window’s ledge. Meg looked up and saw her uncle attempting to climb onto the garage roof. “Oh, my gosh.”
“What’s the matter? Did you— Ned! Good Lord. He’s going to break his neck.”
Meg hurried out the back door, her aunt close behind her.
When they reached the garage, Meg took hold of the ladder to steady it. “Uncle Ned, this really isn’t a good idea.”
“Ned, you get down here this instant. You’re too old to be up there,” Lily called.
“‘Old’ has nothing to do with it. I need to fix the shingles before winter. If I don’t do it, I’ll have to pay someone to do it. That’s foolish.”
“What’s foolish is you being up on that ladder,” Lily argued. “You should have had Manuel do it.”
“I didn’t realize how bad it was until after he left.”
“What am I going to do if you break your neck?” Lily asked.
“I’m not going to break my neck.” The ladder wobbled as Ned found his footing on the roof. “Stop distracting me, and I’ll be just fine.”
“Ned, I think these women are worried about you. Maybe we could work out another deal.”
Still gripping the ladder, Meg glanced over her shoulder, though she’d know that deep baritone anywhere.
Lily edged closer to Logan and murmured, “You get him down from there, and I’ll bake you apple dumplings every week for a month.”
Logan chuckled. “Now, that’s a bribe I can’t refuse.”
His gaze found Meg’s. There was no laughter in his eyes, but a depth and intensity that took her breath away. She gripped the ladder harder.
Logan called to her uncle, “You told me you’d show me how to refinish that old chest I bought. What if I nail on the shingles in repayment?”
“Some of the wood might be rotted.”
“You buy the plywood, I’ll make the repairs.”
“Did these women call you before they came running out here?” Ned asked with a ferocious scowl.
“We most certainly did not,” Lily protested.
Ned rubbed his hand over his forehead and peered down at Logan. “All right. Seems as though these two will have a conniption if I don’t agree. But I’ll help you sand that chest, too. I’m not going to just stand by and watch. And I supervise the roof.”
Logan crossed to Meg. His hand brushed hers as he said, “I’ll hold it for him.”
She stepped aside, her hand tingling, her whole being vibrating because Logan was so close.
“Sounds good to me, Ned,” Logan agreed.
“Now come down,” Lily demanded.
Ned turned around and found the first step on the ladder. As he descended, he grumbled, “If it was up to you, I’d sit on the porch rocking all day. That’s no life.”
Logan waited until the older man was safely on the ground before he moved away.
Ned wagged his finger at his wife. “Now, don’t you scold. I was perfectly safe. These legs are as sturdy as ever.”
“But your balance isn’t.”
“Lily, you worry too much.”
Logan cleared his throat. “Do you mind if I go up and see what we need?”
“Offhand, I’d say two boxes of shingles. See what you think.”
“I’ll hold the ladder,” Meg said.
Logan didn’t argue with her but started climbing up.
Ned put his arm around his wife’s shoulders. “Come on, darlin’. They don’t need us watching.”
As her aunt and uncle walked back to the house, Meg watched Logan climb the ladder. His jeans pulled snug with each step. She smiled at the great view. As if he’d read her thoughts, he glanced at her over his shoulder. Caught looking, she felt a flush creep up her cheeks.
“I could hold the ladder while you climb up,” he teased, eyeing her tan twill slacks and red blouse.
“No, thanks. Roofs aren’t my specialty.”
After a smile that made her want to follow him up the ladder, he climbed to the top and stood on the slightly slanted roof. He walked from side to side, bending to examine the shingles. Surefooted and balanced, he looked as comfortable on the roof as he did on the ground, and Meg couldn’t take her eyes from him.
His shoulders were broad against the blue sky. His hands, as he ran them over the shingles, were deft and sure. He liked to touch. She could tell. The sensation of his hand on her face lasted long after the moment. Was that because of him? Or her?
It didn’t much matter. His touch made her want more of it. No man had ever caused that reaction in her. She’d gone through life believing she didn’t need a close relationship with a man. And after her experience with Todd, she’d been sure of it. Was she simply afraid? Was she afraid she couldn’t please a man any more than she could please her parents? Was she afraid of an abandonment that would hurt even worse than her parents leaving her in Willow Valley?
Why hadn’t she asked herself these questions before? The answer to that came swiftly. Because Logan was different than other men she’d met. The way she felt around him was different. His effect on her was different. Maybe because when they’d delivered Manuel and Carmen’s baby, her barriers had been down. Logan knew how to face life honestly. Had his no-games attitude reached a place inside of her that was tired of surface conversation, diplomacy and politeness?
The questions rang in her head with no definite answers.
Suddenly Logan beckoned to her. “Come on up and sit on the edge with me. The view is great.”
“You are kidding.”
He smiled. “C’mon. I’ll make sure you don’t fall off. I’ll even steady the ladder.”
An adventurous imp inside her—which didn’t mind airplanes but wasn’t too crazy about walking across bridges—pushed her to go to the foot of the ladder. When she put her foot on the first rung, she thought she might be crazy. But when she looked up at Logan and saw the twinkle in his eyes, she didn’t care. She wanted to sit up there beside him.
When she climbed to the top, he took her hand and didn’t let go until she sat on the roof. The landscape spread before them like a peaceful pastoral painting, rich in color and texture and mood. The day’s sun spread its rays across the sky, leaving streaks of orange and brilliant pink. Lavender led into blue as heaven and earth met at the horizon.
Logan took in a deep breath. His thigh brushed hers, and she felt as if they were alone in a different world.
“Sitting up here, I wonder how problems get so big.” His voice was deep and husky and washed over Meg, filling her with his sadness.
“Maybe you and Travis should come up here and sit on the roof.”
His gaze caught hers. “I was thinking about you and what you do.”
“Were you?”
“I think Travis and I have come to a stalemate.”
“Only if neither of you tries to move again.”
“He doesn’t want me around, Meg. He picks an argument every time we’re together, as if he wants to drive me further away. I came to your presentation at school so he’d see I care about him. He made it clear he didn’t want me there.”
“It would help if you could see his point of view.”
“Do you think I haven’t tried?”
“I don’t know.”
Logan’s jaw tensed, and his expression grew hard. “Well, I do know.”
Meg had to say something she knew might make Logan angry, might make him less eager to be around her or talk with her. But she felt it needed to be said. “I think something is holding you away from Travis.”
Logan was silent. And there was an anger in the silence that shook Meg’s heart and the peace of the countryside.
In a fluid motion, Logan stood. He climbed onto the ladder and pinned her with a look that said she’d gone too far. “I’ll hold the ladder for you as you come down.”
“Logan…”
“Enough, Meg.”
The words were t
erse, and Meg had the distinct feeling Logan wanted to say more but was refraining. Maybe that was the problem. He refrained too much. Maybe if he got it all out… But as he made his way to the ground, she didn’t know if she dare suggest it. She didn’t want to sever their bond of friendship, if she hadn’t already. She should have kept quiet. She should have minded her own business. She shouldn’t care as much as she already did.
She’d expected Logan to be striding away when she neared the last rung. But he continued to hold the ladder. His face was hard, etched with the anger she’d heard in his voice and sensed with her heart. If she didn’t care, she could leave more unsaid.
She didn’t know if she was pleading for herself as a young girl or Travis when she said, “He needs you, Logan. Don’t turn your back on him. Show him you love him. Show him his words and actions hurt you. Don’t just stoically accept—”
Logan’s eyes darkened as he reached for her. She never thought to be afraid…not of Logan. When his mouth crushed hers, she fleetingly wondered if this was his way of shutting her up. It certainly was effective. Rational thought fled as his tongue parted her lips and thrust inside. The thrusts were rhythmic and deliberately arousing, and she could envision them mating in the same primal way. Logan was rigid and hard as he pressed against her. Was he trying to shock her?
She tore away, more affected than she wanted to admit. Holding on to the ladder instead of Logan, she almost felt hurt, almost felt… “You can’t use me to soothe feelings you don’t want to talk about. You can’t use me to—”
“I wasn’t using you for anything,” he snapped. “I was trying to show you nothing is as simple as it seems. Not between me and Travis and not between me and you. Don’t you get it yet, Meg? You can’t fix everything with a few right words.”
“No, you can’t. You need to explore the feelings behind the words. Why can’t you talk to Travis? Why can’t you reach out to him? Why…?”
“Stop it, Meg. Don’t you see that I don’t have the answers? Solutions aren’t as easy as adding a column of numbers.”
“Have you honestly looked for the solution?”
A crow cawed. The quiet, which before had been restful, was now abrasive. Logan broke it. “If you have to ask that, then we really don’t know each other at all, and maybe that kiss and the passion behind it is all that will ever be between us. I don’t think this conversation is about me and Travis at all. I think it’s your way of pushing me away, making me too uncomfortable to want to stay around. You don’t have to push me away, Meg. If you don’t want me here, all you have to do is say it.”
The Sheriff’s Proposal Page 8