by J. L. Beck
“My intention wasn’t to start a fight or upset you last night. I just have some things going on, and I’m worried you’re going to get hurt.” Her eyes lift from the floor to meet mine, the concern she has for me etched into her features, proving her intentions are true.
I hate that she thinks the worst of Ryker. It makes me wonder if he’s truly the person I think he is. Maybe I’m the one making stupid choices. “I’m not going to get hurt. I’m okay. I swear.”
“No, that’s not what I mean.” She holds a hand up to silence me. I stare at her, not sure what she’s trying to say. She doesn’t want me to get hurt, but she’s not telling me what she knows either. “I just… I can’t tell you what’s going on right now.”
Well, that clears everything up. I want to ask her what it is she’s hiding, but at the same time, I don’t want to know, especially if it means my judgment of him is so off. And, I want to give her the chance to tell me without pushing her.
“Marie,” I plead with her, taking another step closer. This is my best friend. The girl who helped me when I was struggling in classes, the one who listened to me complain about boys, periods, and all my stupid family drama. If she wants to protect me from something, I should listen, even if it is about Ryker.
“Marie, please tell me what’s going on. I’m here for you, and so is Gabby. You can talk to us about anything, you know that, right?” I try reassure her while praying she’ll spill the beans, even though I can tell she’s not going to tell me anything. There’s a panicked look in her eyes that worries me.
What is her secret?
“Look, when I’m ready to tell you both, I will. Until then, don’t worry about me. I’m stronger than I look, and I didn’t come in here to have you question me. I only wanted to apologize for my outburst yesterday and tell you that things aren’t always what they seem. I’ve learned a lot about the Winston’s over the years, and trust me, they have more secrets than you could ever imagine.” She’s not looking at me when she speaks, and I know I’m missing something, I just don’t know what.
I try to cajole her, saying, “If he hurt you, Marie, I swear to God…” My words trail off and I sigh, running a hand through my long blonde hair. There are a million different thoughts running rampant in my mind. Is Ryker really capable of hurting someone like Marie says? I don’t want to think that he is, but then again, I don’t know him well enough to say he isn’t.
“Just protect yourself, okay?” She pauses before pulling away, her body turning toward the door. “It might seem like he’s interested, but that doesn’t mean he wants to keep you around long-term. Protect your heart and follow your gut, that’s all I’m saying.”
She’s talking in riddles when all I want is for her to explain what the Winston’s did to her. The things she’s saying make me think it wasn’t just Ryker, but all of them.
Marie gives me one last glance over her shoulder, a sad smile forming on her lips as she walks out the door. I want to chase her down and beg her to explain, but I can’t… I won’t.
It has to be on her terms, and that unsettles me, because with each passing day, I find myself growing closer to Ryker. If he or one of his brother’s hurt her, I’m not sure what I’ll do. I want to believe that nothing bad happened, but I have no way of knowing, and not knowing kills me.
Lying down on the mattress, I close my eyes for a moment, telling myself I’ll order food in a minute, but as soon as my eyes shut, I see Ryker’s face above mine, the memories of our one night together surging to the forefront of my mind.
Ava forgiving me doesn’t feel like it’s enough. I watch as she scurries around the office, the mug of piping hot coffee in my hand, made just how I like it, proves she is more than perfect for the job as my assistant. Still, I cringe thinking back to the day I cornered her in my office. My head wasn’t in the right place then—hell, it still isn’t—but I know if I want to have a decent relationship with the woman, I can’t be pushing her for sex.
I feel like a bastard for treating her the way I did. Maybe I should offer to take her to lunch or something as another apology? The thought has me planning it out as I watch her curiously from my office. Even from here I can see the color drain from her face, and my brow furrows with worry. I’m moving toward the door immediately.
Is she okay?
“Ava?” My voice is loud in the quiet office, more demanding and sharp than I intend, but something inside me says she needs me.
She shakes her head, her beautiful blonde curls escaping from behind her ears, making my fingers itch to put them back. One of her hands presses against her stomach as she rushes to the bathroom, the other covering her mouth as her whiskey-colored eyes watering and her face filled with panic.
Setting my cup down on the nearest desk, I take off after her. If she’s sick, I need to make sure she’s okay. After all, she’s my assistant, or at least that’s the excuse I’m going to give myself for chasing after her like a lunatic.
“Hey,” I grip her by the arm, watching her swallow hard, her hand dropping from her mouth while her eyes move from my hand, up my arm to my face. She takes a few deep breaths, the color returning slightly to her face, so I release my hold on her. “Are you okay? You don’t look like you’re feeling well.” I try my best to sound sincere and caring, but it comes out more like an accusation than an observation..
I know that’s true when her gaze narrows and her spine stiffens. “Why do you care? I came to work, that’s all that matters, right?” Her voice is cold, her body language reflecting her irritation.
“No, that’s not all that matters. If you’re sick, you should go home. I don’t want you feeling like crap and thinking you have to be here when you don’t. I can survive for one day, I swear.” The boyish grin I give her doesn’t diffuse her annoyance, and I start to wonder if I’ve done something wrong yet again.
Her suspicious expression makes pain shoot through my chest. “Look, Ryker, apologizing for being a dick doesn’t make us friends.” Her words sting more than I care to admit, and when she turns a pale shade of green and pulls away, running for the bathroom again, I’m faced with the decision of going after her once more and forcing her to tell me what is wrong or leaving her to be sick in peace. Both options suck.
Before I can make a decision, Fallon interrupts me. “Whoa, where are you going?” Her dig into my forearm, stopping me in my tracks. Dread fills my stomach as I watch Ava gag as she escapes into the bathroom.
“After her.” I sigh, sounding about as defeated as I feel. My heart thumps painfully against my ribs, and I don’t understand why. Ava’s no one to me, not really—at least she shouldn’t be—but watching her run away when I know she’s not telling me everything just drives the knife further into my chest.
Fallon shakes her head, releasing her painful grip to lead me back towards my office. “Oh, no you’re not. She’s in the ladies room. That’s a no-go, even for you, Ryker Winston.”
It takes very little effort for her to drag me across the room and into my office. My eyes stay trained on the bathroom door until I can no longer see it.
Fallon sighs as she pulls me through the office door, not releasing me until it’s shut behind us. She turns to face me with her hands on her hips, which puts the emphasis on her pregnant belly. Her green eyes narrow on me as she tries to read the thoughts I’m sure are plain on my face.
“What was that all about?” I can tell she’s not going to let me off the hook on this one, so I might as well come clean.
“She’s sick, and I’m worried about her.” I shrug in an attempt to look unaffected, but the way her gaze sharpens tells me I failed. “Unfortunately, I think my extraordinary ability to be an asshole just scared her away.”
When I look over at her, Fallon has a look that clearly says “I don’t believe you” on her face. “Uh-huh. What did you do to scare her away?” She raises one eyebrow in a move very similar to Reed, crossing her arms over her chest while she waits for my answer. I feel like I’m bein
g chastised by a parent.
Running my fingers through my hair in frustration, I lower my eyes to the floor and attempt to explain. “I might have cornered her in my office and tried to initiate sex when she first started…” I trail off, because hearing myself say the words makes me cringe, and Fallon’s gasp makes me feel about twenty times worse. I would punch myself in the dick for being such a douchebag, but I’m a little partial to that particular part of my body.
“You’re an asshole. No wonder she looked like she wanted to vomit.” The hint of amusement in her voice makes me look up from the floor and up at her.
“It was a mistake, and one I’ve already apologized for, though it sure doesn’t seem like she forgives me.” I don’t want Fallon to know how much Ava affects me, but I also know there’s no point in lying to her. Even if I don’t tell her, she’ll get it out of me. She has this way about her that makes keeping secrets impossible.
“Okay, so you apologized, everything was good, and now this morning when you tried to talk to her she was different?”
I nod my head yes, wishing I could take back all the shitty words I had said to her. If Dad was still here, he’d be disappointed as fuck in me.
“Yeah, and I’m pretty sure she’s, but she refuses to go home.” I yank my hair again. “There’s this strange pang in my chest.” I press my hand against the aching spot, but don’t tell Fallon it’s the same pang I felt when I woke up, realizing the mystery woman from bar left me alone in my bed. God knows that would be a whole ‘nother story.
“Pang like you feel something deeper for her? Or just a pang like you feel like a total jackass for acting the way you did?”
I shrug, unable to tell her which one it is. I’m not ready to admit to myself or anyone else that I’m interested in Ava. “I feel bad for what I did, okay?” I straighten, adjusting my tie and forcing myself to loosen up a bit. “It’s not like I meant to hurt her.” At least, I don’t think I did. “I’m a little off right now, between you and my brother having a baby and Dad dying. It’s just a lot to take in.”
Fallon crosses the room to stand almost toe-to-toe with me. She has a slight waddle to her walk now that makes me smile, and I gaze down at her, knowing how lucky my brothers and I are to have her in our lives.
“Let me talk to her.” I start to protest, but she cuts me off. “Girl talk. She’s probably more likely to talk to someone who isn’t her boss that tried to solicit her for sex.”
What she’s saying makes sense, but I want to be the one she confides in, even though I don’t understand why it’s so important to me. I don’t want to, but reluctantly I nod my head in agreement. “Okay. I’ll let you try talking to her, but you have to tell me what she says.” Narrowing my eyes playfully, I point my finger at her to show that while I’m teasing, I’m also completely serious. I want to know everything Ava says to Fallon.
“Oh, you’ll let me, huh?” Fallon rolls her eyes, but the smile on her face shows she’s amused, but when her eyes meet mine, her expression turns serious. “I’ll tell you what I can, but if she confides in me, about anything, I won’t break her trust. If you ask me to, I’ll sic your brothers on you.”
I hold my hands up in surrender, because if she complains to Reed about anything, he’ll kick my ass all over the building, and I’d rather not have that happen. God knows the man is already on me about everything else. “Fine.”
We leave my office just as the bathroom door down the hall opens, and my head turns so fast I feel a sharp pain in my neck. But, it’s not Ava’s beautiful eyes that meet mine. No, it’s Andi’s dark ones instead. My shoulders sag in disappointment. Fallon’s hand cups my cheek, and when I turn back to face her, she’s giving me a warm look that’s full of affection. “I’ll go check on her.” She glares over at Andi, who’s giving us both a smug look. “If Andi was in there, Ava’s definitely going to need a friend.”
Fallon walks away, passing Andi on her way to the bathroom. I hear her mutter, “Bitch,” under her breath as she does, and I snicker at the pissy expression on Andi’s face. No one here likes her, but since she hasn’t done anything to get herself fired, my hands are tied. It’s a damn shame and unfortunately, you can’t fire someone just for being the office gossip queen and a bitch.
As Fallon walks into the bathroom, I’m left standing there hoping like hell there is some type of redemption for me. After letting the mystery woman walk out on me, I can’t let Ava do the same. Even if I’m basing my reaction to her on this strange feeling her presence and smile gives me. I can’t give her up. I can’t give this feeling up.
I have to have her, even if it’s not in the way I want to.
She makes me feel alive.
She makes me feel, period.
I should be happy Ryker and his brothers are at some meeting offsite that I don’t have to attend, but I miss having him around, even when he’s being a complete jerk. The work he left for me to do isn’t doing anything to take my mind off everything going through it either.
“Hey,” a soft voice says, and I jump in my chair, not realizing anyone was standing beside me. I was too lost in thoughts about Ryker and the fact that I might be pregnant. My period still hasn’t come, and the more days that pass, the more worried I become that it’s more than just stress causing me to be late. I wish I could remember just what happened that night with Ryker so I could put my mind at ease, but if I haven’t remembered yet, I doubt I’m ever going to.
“Ava?” I look up, startled for a second time, to see Fallon standing next to my desk with a concerned look on her face. “Are you okay?”
I try to smile up at her in reassurance, but I think it comes off more like a grimace instead. “Yeah, sorry. Just daydreaming, I guess.” Crap. It’s probably not smart to tell the CEO’s fiancée you’re staring off into space instead of working. “I mean--”
Fallon waves off any excuse I try to make with a laugh. “Don’t sweat it. I completely understand. All the numbers and statistics make me want to think about anything else too.”
My shoulders drop a little in relief. I’m so glad my mouth didn’t get me in trouble. Lord knows, I get into enough as it is.
Before I can say anything else, Fallon tells me why she’s here. I don’t usually see her, well, if you don’t count my barf fest the other morning. She stays on the floor Reed’s office is on, which is the floor above this one, and unless there’s a meeting I need to be a part of, I don’t venture up there.
“Are you hungry?” She’s looking down at me hopefully, and the thought of telling her no makes me feel bad. Fallon is just so friendly.
Feeling bad doesn’t stop me; I still try. “Um, I don’t think so. I brought my lunch today.” I hope that will be the end of it, because I’m so lonely I don’t know if I turn her down a second time. Marie is avoiding me at the moment; she has been since our talk a few nights ago. Gabby’s brother is in town and she’s been spending time with him, so she’s been scarce too. Having someone to talk to is tempting.
Fallon clasps her hands against her chest and bounces a little on her heels. “Please?” she begs. “Reed and Ryker are at that meeting, and I hate eating alone.” Looking down at her stomach, she frowns when she meets my eyes again. “People like to judge me for what I put in my mouth, I think. Either that, or they’re staring at my finger and noticing I only have this engagement ring. Judgy jerks.” She pouts a little, and I can’t help but laugh.
“Okay, I’ll go.” I give in easier than I expected myself to, and that surprises me.
My agreement makes her happy, and she grins down at me, her whole face lighting up with pure joy. “Yay!” she exclaims, grabbing my hand with hers and practically dragging me out of my chair. “I know the perfect place.”
We walk into a small diner not far from work, and it’s clear Fallon has been here a lot. The minute she walks through the door, at least five people shout hello to her and she reciprocates, knowing each one by name. I smile as they eye me curiously.
She lead
s me to an empty table toward the back and takes the seat across from me. “This place has the best cheese fries.” Excitement twinkles in her eyes, and a second later her stomach growls loudly, causing a pink blush to creep up her cheeks.
She laughs softly. “Sorry, he is definitely hungry today.” Her hands rub at her swollen belly, and I can’t help but smile as she does it. I haven’t forgotten there might be a chance I too could be pregnant.
The waitress comes over to take our orders, and after perusing the menu, I decide to get the same thing Fallon does: a bacon cheeseburger and cheese fries. It’s not like I need the extra calories, but it’s the only thing on the menu that doesn’t make me feel like barfing when I thought about eating it.
As soon as the waitress comes back with our drinks, the questions start.
“So, Ava.” Fallon’s studying me closely. “What made you apply at Winston Industries?”
Suddenly, I’m wishing I’d turned down her lunch offer. Her first question might be pretty easy, but what’s she going to ask next? I’m a crappy liar, and she’s so nice and sweet, I’m not sure I could lie to her, even if I wanted to.
Knowing I have to say something, I answer truthfully. “I really liked the fact that it was a family-run company. There are so many big corporations out there, and working for someplace family-owned seems like a good idea. You’re much less likely to get lost in the shuffle.”
“Good answer!” She’s beaming at me again, and I can’t help but smile back at her.
Wanting to make this not so all about me, I turn the question around and ask her, “What about you? What made you start at Winston Industries?”
The look on her face turns dreamy, and I know before she answers that it has something to do with Reed. “Reed basically created my job for me. My parents died when I was younger, and unlike the Winstons, we didn’t have a lot of money. In fact, my dad worked for their dad, Clark, and while they did have life insurance, it wasn’t enough to pay for college. I got loans to help, but I was still going to have to work. One night, I was telling Reed about the places I’d applied and how skeevy some of the managers were, and two days later he was telling me he had a job for me.” She smiles just thinking about it, and continues. “I know the only reason Clark agreed to the job was because they wanted to take care of me and knew I’d never agree to them just paying for school. Clark would’ve done that in a heartbeat though. Honestly, I’m still a little shocked he didn’t just do it and ask forgiveness afterward.”