Faith
THE PERFECT LIFE
* * *
“How about that big one?” he suggested, pointing to the mammoth tree ten feet from us. “The old oak, by the edge of the clearing.”
I huffed in indignation. “A twelve year-old could find that mark. Give me something a little less insulting, please.”
Wes chuckled.
“Don’t laugh at me.” I glared playfully. “I’m armed.”
He only laughed harder, even when I waved my Lady Smith in his direction.
“Fine, fine,” he said, looking at me like he thought I was the funniest person alive — which, normally, I wouldn’t have minded but, right now, when my shooting skills were being called into question, I found more than a little annoying.
“You want a tougher target? How about…” His eyes swept the clearing. “Okay, there. The apple tree.”
I followed his gaze to the thick-trunked, heavily-gnarled tree, about thirty feet away. Its branches hung heavy with ripe red apples, though many had already scattered to the earth and begun to rot with the last days of autumn.
“Let’s see if you can hit the big knot in the trunk,” he challenged, his voice full of skepticism.
He didn’t think I could do it. I laughed.
“I’ll do you one better,” I muttered, planting my feet and taking aim. Cocking my head, I made sure to breathe, blocked out everything except the vantage in front of me, and pulled the trigger.
The apple exploded in a flurry of red pulp, dropping to the ground like moist confetti.
I turned to Wes, planted one hand on my hip, and grinned. “How’dya like them apples?”
With his arms crossed over his chest and his face carefully blank, I could tell he was trying not to look too impressed. My satisfaction grew.
“See?” I said, sidling closer to him. “I can take care of myself.”
His dark grin was the last thing I saw, because an instant later I was spinning. I’m not sure how he did it but, before I could even react, I’d been hauled against him with my back to his chest, the gun had been removed from my grip, and I was in what could only be considered a headlock. He executed the move with the ease and familiarity of a professional, the sheer skill and speed he used a testament to the lifestyle he lived.
I thought back to a few days ago, when I’d held him off at gunpoint, thinking I was the one in control, and was hit with the sudden realization that my authority had been nothing more than an illusion. An indulgence, on his part. He could’ve disarmed me at any point that day before I managed to fire a single round. Hell, he wouldn’t have even broken a sweat.
His mouth touched my ear and a chill raced up my spine — the good kind.
“Really, Red, you should be more careful. You were so busy bragging about your skills, you didn’t even see me coming,” he whispered. His arm squeezed a little tighter, putting a tiny amount of pressure on my windpipe. Not enough to hurt me — just enough to let me know he could.
“You are so annoying,” I gritted out between tightly clenched teeth.
“Thanks, baby, that’s so sw—”
His teasing words turned into an oof of surprise as I slid one leg between his, hooked a foot around his left ankle, and pulled forward with every ounce of strength I possessed. With the element of surprise on my side, as well as a swift elbow to his jugular, I managed to send him tripping backwards, slipping out of his loosened chokehold as he fell to the ground.
It probably only worked because I’d caught him off guard, but I couldn’t stop the triumphant grin from spreading across my cheeks when I turned and saw him sprawled on his ass in the dirt.
“Now… who exactly were you calling baby, baby?” I gloated, leaning over him with my hands planted on my knees.
He narrowed his eyes at me. “Okay, so maybe I underestimated you,” he conceded. “A little.”
I snorted. “I’m pretty sure you did a lot more than— hey!”
The shriek of protest escaped my mouth just as I felt my legs swept out from under me. I would’ve fallen flat on my face, had Wes not rolled beneath me at the last moment. I landed on his chest with a thud that made both of us grunt in pain, but seconds later we were laughing too hard to care much about being out of breath.
He spun so my back was pressed against the earth and before I knew it, I was even dustier than he was. Hovering over me, his eyes were warmer than the afternoon sunshine.
“You’re full of surprises,” he said, bending to kiss my nose lightly.
“I took three years of krav maga lessons.” I grinned. “Knocking you on your ass just now was the payoff for all those gym membership bills.”
“Oh, really?” His nose skimmed my jawline and I tried not to shiver. “Well, I think you should definitely show me some of your moves.” He kissed the hollow beneath my ear and his voice dropped to a whisper. “…preferably when we’re in bed…” Another kiss landed on my throat. “…naked.”
Then, his lips were on mine again and I forgot about the fact that we were covered in dirt and that there were two loaded firearms lying in the grass less than five feet away. His hands threaded into my hair, mine slipped beneath the back of his t-shirt, and I was officially lost once more.
* * *
Wes’ hands glided across my wet skin, his strong fingers massaging me into a state of such relaxation I feared my limbs would turn permanently to Jell-O. I floated weightlessly, sighing in complete contentment as I leaned back against his slippery chest. My tired eyes were unfocused, watching lazily as buttery light from the fireplace gleamed off the copper and illuminated our skin.
We’d been in the tub for hours.
The water had long since chilled, but the press of his body against mine lent warmth enough. I couldn’t bring myself to climb out and end the perfection of this moment — skin to skin with the man I loved.
Turning in his arms, I wrapped my hands loosely around his neck and smiled sleepily.
“What?” he whispered, leaning forward and pressing a kiss to my damp forehead.
“Just happy,” I whispered back, dropping my head onto his shoulder. “Aren’t you?”
He cleared his throat. “I never thought it was possible to be this happy.”
“Good answer,” I murmured. My lips curved into a smile as my eyes slipped closed.
A few moments later, I felt my body shifting in the water as Wes rearranged his arms around me. I lost my breath when he stood to lift me from the tub, my already chilled skin hitting the cool cabin air and snapping me back into full consciousness.
My grumbles of complaint lasted barely a minute — before I could whine too much about the cold, Wes was sliding beneath the quilt with my body cradled tightly against his. He pulled the blankets over our tangled limbs and heat immediately began to sink back into my bones.
It was dark outside the cabin windows and I was exhausted, but my mind refused to drift into sleep. I fought against my eyes, which wanted nothing more than to droop closed for the next eight to ten hours, instead watching the shadows flicker across Wes’ features and listening to the worries that were bouncing around the inside of my skull like loose ping pong balls.
“What happens after this is over?” I blurted, the words coming out of my mouth before I could stop them. I instantly wanted to kick my own ass for dredging up future conflicts instead of simply being content in the moment.
Wes raised his eyebrows. “What do you mean, Red?”
I swallowed. “When they catch Istvan… When Szekely is no longer a threat… I mean, we aren’t going to be in this cabin forever. The future… Well, it’s not just going to be an eternity of bubble baths and endless sexual gymnastics.”
“That’s a damn shame.” His fingertips skimmed my jawline and his voice was husky. “I really like the sexual gymnastics.”
I smiled weakly, my mind still reeling with worries. His playful words did nothing to soothe me.
“Red.”
“Mhmm,” I murmured distracted
ly, not making eye contact.
“Red.”
“Mmm.” My eyes were still locked stubbornly on his chin.
“Faith.”
I tilted my head to look at him, anxious thoughts plain to see in my eyes. “What?” I whispered, my voice a little bit broken.
He sighed, but there was a smile twisting his lips. “Do you remember that thing I happened to mention yesterday? Maybe you missed it.”
I shrugged. “What thing?”
“The thing where I told you I loved you.”
“Oh.” My cheeks reddened slightly. “That thing. Yep, I remember.”
“Good.” His grin widened, but there was a touch of sadness in his eyes. “I was lost before you found me. And then, after you’d finally helped me find myself, I lost you for three years. That’s not happening ever again. I’m done with losing each other.”
The determination in his voice made me smile.
“But you have to decide if that’s what you want, too,” he added softly.
I opened my mouth to reply but he cut me off.
“I love you,” he whispered, his words vehement. “Too much to lie to you or offer you false hopes for the future. If you stay with me…” His voice cracked and he cleared his throat roughly. “I can’t promise you the things you deserve. That perfect life with a picket fence in a safe suburb, where you bake casseroles for dinner and we go to a neighborhood potluck every month. I can’t tell you where we’ll live or what we’ll do. The life I’ve led… I have enemies. I might never be able to settle down in one place. My future won’t be luxurious or comfortable.” He took a deep breath and I could see, beneath the calm, that he was struggling deeply with this. “I can’t give you normal, Faith. Not like another man could.”
I thought about it for a long moment, looking into his eyes, before I finally spoke.
“The perfect life… That’s a funny concept, you know? Because perfection isn’t constant; it’s changeable. Personal. It depends on your own definition.” I smiled softly. “So, maybe some women’s idea of perfect is that life you just described. Safe and secure, with a spacious house, marble countertops, and a social calendar full of backyard barbecues. Maybe being nothing more than normal is the key to life’s great happiness.” I tilted my head and scrunched up my nose. “But I never said I wanted normal.”
His eyes lit up.
“I don’t want an ordinary life with someone else,” I said simply. “I want an extraordinary life with you. Whatever that means, wherever that takes us…” I leaned my forehead against his and spoke the words across his lips. “I love you. That’s my idea of perfection.”
His eyes flashed and then his mouth was on mine, hard and hot. He clutched my body against him as his kiss consumed me. With each brush of his lips, he staked his claim. I was his, and he wasn’t ever letting me go; of that there was no doubt. Not anymore.
His hands were rough as he pulled me fully on top of him, our mouths still fused together. With one swift jerk of his hips, he was inside me — filling me, completing me. I gasped as I adjusted to the sudden intrusion, my hair falling forward around our faces in a curtain. His hands gripped my hips, so tight they were nearly bruising, and his eyes burned into mine, mere inches away, so bright with love it made my heart squeeze.
Rocking into me, his slow pace killing me in gradual, ecstatic thrusts, he obliterated my anxieties about whatever future might lie ahead for us. I felt my worries fade as my mind blanked and, suddenly, I was capable only of thoughts about this exact fraction of time, when we were connected and everything else ceased to matter.
* * *
I woke up slowly.
It was barely dawn and shafts of faint morning light were just starting to filter through the curtains. My eyes opened and landed on Wes, still asleep by my side. I watched the steady rise and fall of his back as he breathed, each inhale expanding his chest and lending the illusion of movement to the swirling tattoos on his back.
Propping myself up on my elbows, I leaned in and examined the markings up close. I felt my eyes go wide when I saw part of the pattern gleamed in darker, fresher ink than the rest. He’d added to the design since I last saw it.
Now, in the center of the inky tendrils spanning his upper back, an elaborate Chinese symbol was etched into his skin. The desire to trace my fingers across its lines was strong, but I knew doing so would wake him. Instead, I brought my face as close to it as possible, as though I might somehow discern the emblem’s meaning through proximity alone.
“Faith.” His deep voice startled me away from the tattoo. I pulled back and settled in next to him again, my arm brushing his.
“Sorry, I didn’t mean to wake you,” I whispered, staring into his half-lidded eyes.
“You didn’t.” He reached out, wrapped an arm around my back, and hauled me against his side so we were pressed flush together. My arms twined around his back as I huddled into his warmth and exhaled deeply. My fingertips blindly traced the markings on his back.
“The new tattoo.” His hold tightened on me. “I got it the day I left Budapest.”
“Oh.” I waited, knowing he had more to say.
“Yeah.” I felt his throat contract as he swallowed. “It means faith.”
Tears sprang to my eyes and I buried my head in the crook of his neck to stem their flow. I didn’t say anything — I just tightened my embrace until he knew, without words, that I was never letting him go. Not ever.
Chapter 56
Weston
NOT AGAIN
* * *
I stepped outside and popped the SIM-card back into my phone. A text message from Benson came up on the screen almost immediately.
FOUND BORDAS. CALL IN.
I sighed and dialed, listening to it ring for several long seconds before he finally answered.
“Benson.”
“It’s Abbott,” I grumbled. “You got him?”
There was a weighty silence over the line. “We tracked him to a small town a couple hours from Bakersfield. We think he’s heading for—”
“Faith’s family,” I finished, my mind beginning to race. “Fuck.”
“Best guess is, he’s desperate and needs some leverage to draw her back home.” Benson sighed. “We’re sending a team to watch the house. When he gets there, we’ll take him out.”
“You got her family out already, right?”
Silence.
My jaw clenched. “Benson. Don’t fucking tell me you’re doing what I think you’re doing.”
He didn’t answer.
“Because if you’re thinking of using Faith’s family as live bait to trap Bordas…” I took a deep breath and when I spoke again, I knew my voice had surpassed threatening and gone straight to ominous. “You will answer to me.”
“I don’t answer to you,” Benson snapped. “And we aren’t evacuating the family. If Bordas senses a trap, he’ll bolt. He’s one of Szekely’s top men. We can’t afford to lose him, and we might not have another opportunity like this for years, if ever.”
“Benson—”
“If you’re worried about the family, you can join the op to make sure they’re adequately protected. That’s my only offer.”
I began to grind my teeth. There were no good options, here.
If I left to guard her family, Faith would be unprotected. If I stayed and her parents were injured or killed, she’d never forgive me. I couldn’t take her with me — putting her in Bordas’ path would be playing right into his hands, if the mission went wrong.
Fuck.
“Decide fast, Abbott. The clock is ticking. By our estimates, Bordas will be at the house in about three hours. It’ll take you almost that long to get here.”
My eyes pressed closed.
“I’ll let you know within the hour.”
* * *
“You have to go.”
Faith was eerily calm. I’d expected hysterics, screams, even some threats, but she was utterly composed when I told her about Bordas. Her ey
es bored into mine and she laced our fingers together, the physical contact underscoring her intent words.
My jaw clenched. “I don’t want to leave you unprotected. Even if it’s only for a few hours.”
“I’m not unprotected — I have my gun. Plus, no one even knows how to find this cabin. I’ll be fine without you.” Her eyes were liquid saucers, pleading and persuasive. “My family needs you, Wes.”
“What if you need me?”
She leaned in and brushed her lips against mine. “I’ll always need you in my life. But I can survive alone for eight hours. I promise.”
“I don’t like this.”
She tucked her face into the hollow of my throat, so my chin rested on the crown of her head. “I know you don’t. But I need you to do it anyway. If they were ever hurt because of me…” He voice cracked a little. “Please, Wes.”
I sighed. I was powerless to say no to her. “Okay,” I agreed reluctantly.
“Thank you,” she whispered, pressing a kiss to my neck. “I’ll spend a boring few hours playing cards, cleaning the cabin, and missing you, and then you’ll come back to me. Nothing is going to happen.”
I pressed my eyes closed and forced myself to focus on the steady sound of her breathing, rather than how irrationally afraid I was to leave her alone. She’d be fine. I was worried for no reason.
That’s what I tried to convince myself as I walked outside, called Benson back, and told him I was in.
* * *
I couldn’t shake the nagging feeling that I was missing something.
Displaying an outward composure I didn’t feel, I’d kissed Faith goodbye, made sure both our guns were fully loaded, and left the cabin behind as I skirted through the woods to the motorcycle I’d stashed a quarter mile away. But with each step, the feeling that something about this entire mission was fucked from the start only grew stronger.
As I walked, I replayed the conversation over, Benson’s voice in my head like a whiney, limp-dicked mantra.
Love & Lies Page 76