“Nonsense. The Council sent word.”
“But — how would anyone even know where to send word?”
“The Seers know,” Elana returned sensibly, and she sat back on her heels. “Are you done? Or would you like more hot water to soak in?”
“But… is there more hot water?”
“Certainly.” Elana got up to bring it.
“Don’t — now.” Caught between exhaustion and frustration, Diana subsided into silence.
“You are not done with your questions,” Elana prodded quietly as she poured the steaming, fresh water into the tub.
“I am waiting for you to sit in one place, so that I can talk to you.”
Elana hid her smile and pulled a stool close. “All right, Di’nay, I am sitting.”
Diana realized how selfish and childish she was sounding. It wasn’t particularly like her, except when she got sick. She tried to laugh at herself. “I really am a very poor patient, aren’t I?”
“Very,” Elana agreed without compunction. “Now ask your questions.”
“What does the Council know about the satellite? And how — why do the Seers know where we are? I mean, aren’t they usually attuned to disruptive events and anomalies — not to individuals?”
“The Council is always aware of your satellite. The Seers, in fact, are occasionally responsible for its sporadic behavior.” Elana smiled, but did not give Diana a chance to interrupt. “It is true; the Seers are drawn to crises and struggles of Aggar first, but they follow our progress at will. They have known me a long time, Di’nay. My personal amarin is as familiar to them as your face is to your family. They met and spoke with you for the same reasons — to recognize your amarin. At the request of the Council, their Blue Sight finds us easily.”
Wouldn’t Thomas love that? “We should have had them pass on my reports. Could have saved Thomas from gnawing his fingernails to the bone!”
Elana shook her head. “Are all Terran supervisors so talented?”
Diana grew sober at the thought. “I wouldn’t know. I haven’t worked for all of them. I’ve worked with Thomas the longest. I suspect it’s colored my judgment.”
“How long do you usually work with someone?”
“Hmm… a tenmoon at most.” She sighed and sank lower, slipping her shoulders into the water. Her knees were doomed to a chilly exposure.
“Why is it that you’ve spent more than twice that time on Aggar?”
“I was waiting to meet you,” Diana answered flippantly.
“I am the Shadow here,” Elana retorted in like tone. “I am the one who’s been doing the waiting.” And she knew just how long that waiting had been. She did not have to ask to know which day Di’nay had arrived on her planet. She looked at Diana now and almost wondered at the Mother’s calling — that She had so clearly touched one of them and so completely kept the other in oblivion?
“You have drifted far away from me.”
“Not very far,” Elana assured her, her glance dancing lightly across Di’nay, “and you have yet to answer me.”
“Do you mean the question, why five years with Thomas?… Aggar is a Charlie-Four planet. That required me to stay longer. Do you know what that is?”
“No.” Should she? Elana frowned. The Sight should have told her in that first glimpse that Di’nay was an off-worlder. Then, at least, she could have taken the time to learn more of this.
“Charlie is a type C planet. It means Imperial relations are tentative, at best, and that there have been hostilities in the not-so-distant past. The Four designates a class of planets that is closed to trade and visitors. The restriction allows passengers and cargo crews access to the space station for refueling. But only military personnel are allowed planetfall. The base crew is typically assigned for a minimum of three Terran years, and anybody who has direct contact with your people must stay for five. It allows few to visit Aggar and none of your people to leave.”
Elana felt her throat close painfully. She had known contact between the Empire and Aggar was limited, but it had always seemed to follow the Council’s plans. She was reminded that there were real limitations to what the Council could do.
“Supposedly,” Diana continued, “such a limited contact is to protect you. I suspect, in reality, it’s that the Empire couldn’t clearly win, so they keep you isolated.”
Elana said sadly, “We have so little that they could want.”
“Border defense,” Diana reminded her solemnly. “Don’t forget Aggar has the only breathable atmosphere in this quadrant. It would be most helpful to the Empire to freely build here.”
“My understanding is that we are too close to the galactic borders for that. The Alliance would be eternally raiding. Aggar would be scorched beyond recognition in a matter of tenmoons — would it not?”
“The Empire would refortify and defend it again. Their strength could hold enough of the attackers off that the air would still sustain some life. The planet would still support their weapons.”
“But not my people,” Elana added grimly.
“No, not your people.”
“Then I think,” Elana said very quietly, staring into the murky white of her lifestone, “it is a good thing that Aggar is Charlie-Four.” Her throat felt tight as she thought, even if I can never leave with you. She wondered if it might not be easier to die on their journey rather than face that day she must calmly send Di’nay away.
“Charlie-Four.” Diana sighed deeply, feeling the weariness return. “They don’t understand, so they classify. If they can label, then they think they understand — or that they have more control over you.”
Diana wondered how this planet had escaped the Terran’s patriarchal control and involvement with power and intrigue. But ‘escape’ was not quite the right word for Aggar. Perhaps the Council had succeeded in avoiding more involvement because they had not tried to eliminate the beast.
Elana said they sought balance. Within their world’s ecology, they tried to balance their various cultures’ ways. They did not judge what should or should not be, as much as they balanced — technology and visions — borders and resources — futures and pasts.
By Imperial standards the cultures seemed stagnated, but the peoples of Aggar were not subjugated to external forces, though individuals certainly were not free.
Balance? She wanted to believe with Elana that within this stagnation it was possible — that the Council meant to ignite an evolution of another sort. In the garden. Elana had said that the number of those gifted with the Blue Sight was increasing?
Perhaps the fire was already lit.
† † †
Chapter Nine
The night wind blew, tugging at the cloak about her, and Diana tucked an edge more securely under herself. She sat alone on the barren plain, not far from the yawning canyons that opened to the west. The air rushed and swirled from those grand depths, bringing faint scents of water and green.
She stirred again, seeking a more comfortable seat. The darkness above glittered imposingly with dusty star groups and the bright early moon. She was still feeling weakened after her bout with the cucarii. It had been six days before she felt stronger. Her sleep was still much too sound and long; Diana suspected the healer had been mixing potions into her evening drinks.
Tomorrow would be their last day with Melysa.
Diana had found herself growing restless and impatient. Jealousy perhaps? Had she grown so accustomed to having Elana to herself? Was it a kind of insecurity? In all honesty she was not so certain that Elana missed their private solitude.
She shook her thoughts aside, irritated at herself. Elana had done nothing — said nothing. She was always quick to give reassurance. To a point, Diana reminded herself. Elana had never spoken of love — but then neither of them had.
The wind tousled her freshly cut hair, and absently Diana’s fingers brushed it back into order. Neither of them had talked of loving. She admitted it had been — still was — a deliberate silence on her part. Per
haps it was the same for Elana. Loving did not necessarily mean — I will change my life for you. And not only change it, Diana knew, but leave it — abandon people, customs, the very sky she had grown up calling her own.
Then why was she planning to talk to Cleis about Elana? Why was she waiting for Cleis to return her message? She wasn’t assuming anything, she reassured herself. She would merely be creating options. In fact, it was because she was not assuming Elana would stay — or go — that she sat here waiting. The assumption of passivity — of unquestioning obedience to Aggar and the Council’s will had clouded her judgment — her acceptance of Elana’s desires before. Diana did not want to make that mistake a second time, not when a decision would be so final — even if she herself was uncertain of the woman’s love.
Not true. Diana sighed, her eyes seeking the climbing half-moon as memories surrounded her. She had watched too many live without it, herself included, not to recognize love. She could worry that this love would not last — that their bond was too fragile for the strain of emigration, but her fears could not deny what was there — what they had already shared.
The amber lights flickered on the small display, warning of a forthcoming readout.
Shortly after the Empire’s conflicts over Aggar had begun, the Imperial technicians had found the ‘solar flares and turbulent atmosphere’ precluded reliable voice communications. They had managed to redesign their transmitters and the satellite relay along the lines of their ancestors’ antiques. Eventually they had produced their current system. Knowing what she did, Diana suspected it had been a decision of the Council’s to allow this system to work.
A few numbers blinked across the screen, and Diana obediently reset the channel. She realized Cleis was using the back-up unit at Mattee’s and wondered what she was doing in Gronday.
Greetings, the screen printed.
Diana wondered who might be listening. With Thomas’ love of security, private communications were not always assured.
Greetings, Diana sent back. May have found an Amazon.
The screen was blank for an inordinate amount of time, and Diana was amused, thinking of Cleis’ astonished reaction.
What House, the screen inquired.
Elana n’Sappho. Diana’s amusement faded, her fingers trembling as they tapped the small keys. Her response was traditional, but its significance in this case caused her heart to race just a little faster. No matter who they would choose to become nor who sponsored their emigration, all new Sisters began as children of Sappho — gathering to her hearth just as the students of the ancient poet had.
Description.
Diana smiled at the image before her as she typed. She wondered if Cleis would be discharged and sent home soon. She realized just how much she was wishing to introduce Elana to her and to talk with her Sister about her muddled hopes.
Birth date.
Diana, disconcerted, realized she did not know. Uncertain.
Age.
Twenty-five.
Diana did hope she had remembered that right. Homebound date.
A slow breath gathered as she typed in, Uncertain.
Date or homebound?
Mission uncertain. Regardless of what Thomas may or may not have said to Cleis, that would certainly alert her Sister to the difficulties of this assignment.
The screen lit again. Maybe three of us then.
Diana blinked. It was a direct denial of Diana’s suggestion that she might not be returning at all, but she stopped. It was nothing of the kind, she realized, and her fingers flew across the keys. Your ribs okay?
Fair.
Meaning not so fair, Diana guessed. In fact, fair was incredibly poor for Cleis to be admitting to on an open channel. It also told Diana that her friend was already concerned about this mission and was intent on staying on the active duty list until it was done — just in case. Yes, Cleis was trying to say she wasn’t going to be finishing her full tour of duty and that after this mission, the three of them might very well be traveling together.
The lights flashed for her attention. Report said poison.
Past tense, Diana assured her.
Good. Careful.
Yes. Diana glanced at the digital clock in the corner of the transmitter and knew the base would be cutting in soon for higher priorities, but she was loath to let their contact break — guarded as it was. Why Gronday?
Horses and rent.
Good enough excuses, Diana thought. Thomas would have been thrilled to get rid of her red stallion and wouldn’t guess that Mattee never raised a brow at the Southerner’s erratic rent payments.
Take care yourself, Diana returned finally.
Will call n’Sappho. Usual eighteen days.
No hurry. Regretfully Diana thought there was still a lot of distance to cover on this journey.
The screen flashed an unintelligible array of amber and quieted. The base had noticed them.
Cleis regained the screen again. Goddess’ blessings from gentle Helen.
Diana’s ire at the interruption faded as a soft smile grew. She had almost forgotten. Goddess’ blessings. Out.
The Feast of Helen — so far from calendars and home she had almost forgotten it. Diana felt the subtle strength of her Sisters, and her spirit calmed. Centered was the feeling, a feeling she had possessed only fleetingly for many years now. Perhaps — she turned her dark eyes to the eastern horizon — perhaps it would set deeper roots this season.
† † †
Elana glanced up as the quick rhythm of Di’nay’s step announced the Amazon’s descent from the plateau. Elana could not help but smile as her lover appeared. Di’nay’s limbs were sound again, carrying her tall frame with grace and self-confidence. The exhausted hunch to her shoulders had lifted and the pallor beneath her weathered brown skin had faded. Except for being leaner, she looked as strong as the day Elana had first met her.
The image of the still figure, ankles crossed as she leaned against the garden wall, drifted to mind. The fatigue and isolation of the Amazon colored the memory more vividly then the words they had exchanged. Watching her now, Elana wondered if perhaps Di’nay’s spirit had healed as well as her body. The weariness was gone — had been for some time. Perhaps the Mother had planned more for their meeting than this mission with the Maltar. That possibility warmed her inside, and Elana hugged the feeling. “I was missing you,” Elana murmured as Di’nay joined her at the rough-hew table. “I was about to come searching.”
For a long moment, Diana was content merely to feel the love that embraced their lives. The pleasure strengthened with the knowledge that Elana was acutely aware of her amarin. The Amazon reached a gentle hand forward to cover Elana’s. “I beg your patience. I did not plan to be so long with Cleis.”
“I worry overmuch.” Elana recognized the inner turmoil, the bubbling confusion from which her emotions sprang. She squeezed Di’nay’s long fingers briefly. “There is some southern tea I’d like you to try. It is not too dissimilar to your own. Melysa has offered us a package. If it suits you, perhaps we should take some. We’ve almost finished your own stock.” Elana ladled the water into the mug and passed the drink to Di’nay. “You did reach your friend Cleis then?”
Diana sniffed the brew curiously. “She is looking forward to meeting you.”
Cleis — was that it? Elana was almost shocked at her feelings. Jealousy? With what reason? She was not certain that their relationship had been so involved. Shadows are not quite spouses, she reminded herself firmly. The Mistress and Seers had all been quite clear on that. Possessiveness was acceptable only insofar as it aided you as a protector; beyond that it was inappropriate.
“You’re very quiet,” Diana prodded softly, and then teased, “Does the prospect of facing another off-worlder daunt you so?”
“No, I have found some off-worlders less objectionable than I would have imagined.” Elana sipped her tea. “Cleis is more than your friend, is she not?”
“She is my Sister. We share
much more than many might even want to.”
Elana moistened her lips. “Physically… much more?”
Diana admitted, “At times. We have both been lonely, and we both care for each other deeply. I’m not certain we would be so close if we’d met at home, though I don’t doubt that we’ll remain close after we return. But we are not lovers.”
Diana was suddenly sensitive to the insecurities that might have prompted the question. “We are dear friends, but there is no commitment beyond that friendship. And there is none that either of us would wish. I think, perhaps, we have something akin to what my mother and Jes had.”
Jes — that was the Amazon who helped to mother Di’nay. Elana traced a finger around the mug’s handle. “Would you have a child by Cleis?”
Barely audible, a sigh passed Diana’s lips. A child — something she might regret. “I am perhaps too old to safely carry a baby now. The women in my family have not fared well with later year children.”
With a sudden insight, Diana thought of Terri and Ivory. She had never really questioned why they’d not chosen to have children. It had been an assumption on her part that with Ivory on the moonbase so often, they had not considered it viable. But Terri had loved parenting the flock of them about the adobe, and Terri, like herself, had chosen a second tour of duty off-world. Ivory would not have wished them to risk that sort of pain. “And you?” Diana asked Elana. “Will you have children?”
She laughed. “It is doubtful.”
“Oh?”
Drawing a deep breath, Elana tried to think about the question clearly. The inevitability of their parting aside, what did she want? “I don’t know if I would want a child,” she said honestly. “In another place, in another time, I think yes. But….”
“But?”
“I am a Shadow. My attention… my energy is so focused… separations so impossible….” She faltered, realizing what she had just said, but it was too late to interfere with Di’nay’s amarin. She hurried on. “The role I’ve taken is so consuming that… that re-directing that purpose… is very difficult. It is difficult for me to imagine such a change.” A very lame explanation, however true, she thought dismally.
Shadows of Aggar (Amazons of Aggar) Page 30