What indeed? She slumped against the doorframe. “I just threw Paul Garrison into a wall.”
The breath hissed through Cleis’ teeth. “Is he alive?”
“Probably. He walked to his room.”
“Any reason?”
With a sarcastic drawl, she said, “Would you believe he propositioned Elana?”
“Elana…?! But she travels as — I may kill him myself. Is she all right?”
“Much better than I am.”
Cleis wasn’t sure exactly what that meant, but she did know she needed to get Diana away from here.
“The food.” Diana suddenly seemed to drift off somewhere else. “I didn’t — ”
“I’ll deal with it.” Cleis pulled her down off the staircase. “Why don’t you go check on your horses. I’ll be right out.”
Confused, Diana shook her head. Garrison might be more seriously hurt than she’d explained. “Paul needs — ”
“I’ll see to it,” Cleis insisted firmly. “I’ll tend to everything. Now go. Go!” and she pushed her out the back door.
† † †
“There you are,” Cleis smiled rather cheerlessly and reached over the stall door to hand Diana a warm mug of mead. The big chestnut snorted and stomped a little as Cleis slid the door back. “It’s all right, Kaing,” she soothed and under her familiar voice, he quieted. “I’m only going to pull your friend here out of your box.”
Diana sighed, forcing herself to rise, and Cleis pulled the door closed behind her.
“There’s that sweet stack of hay back against the wall,” Cleis suggested.
Diana wasn’t ready to return to the inn, and the hay bin was familiar from long talks they’d shared in the past.
Cleis settled herself and the flask of mead into the piled straw. “I warn you, I have no intention of drinking you into a drunken stupor tonight. It’s too cold and too wet and you’ve got a much warmer bed to crawl into than this old hayloft.” It was a standing joke between them that they never drank much together — they talked too much.
Cleis got no answer. Diana merely stood there, gazing out the door into the night where the wind whistled and the drizzling downpour continued. Cleis drew a steadying breath then and prepared to wait. She knew Diana well enough to know the woman would say something when she was ready to.
“How’s Garrison?” Diana asked finally.
Cleis shrugged. It was not something she was particularly worried about. “I sent up a bath, a platter of food, and Stevens to take care of him. Apparently he’s not as badly marred as I’d feared.”
“And Elana?”
“I sent food up — meat, no lexion, and some bread pudding. Not as good a fare as the Keep, I’ll wager, but good enough. The Min took it up personally. She said the girl looked well and was bathing… she didn’t appear to want much company.” For a curious second, Cleis eyed her friend then. “I took you at your word when you said you were worse off. Should I go back and check on her myself?”
“No.” Diana shook her head adamantly. After all, hadn’t that been the problem from the beginning? Her assumption that Elana couldn’t take care of herself?
Cleis swirled the mead in her cup. “Garrison didn’t say anything about a scuffle with you. He told Stevens that he’d been pretty seriously hurt on the trip in.”
Diana began to pace.
“So, are you going to tell me what happened?”
“Haven’t I said?”
“Details,” Cleis persisted, and, unrelenting, she added, “Preferably before this rain turns to ice, if you would.”
That almost drew a smile.
“Are you going to walk through the whole story?”
“Probably — yes!” But they were grinning at each other. “Nehna…?”
Diana drew a deep breath and shrugged. “He kissed her. I walked in and over-reacted. He stumbled out. I ran. What else do you want to know?”
Cleis scoffed, “Remind me never to ask you for a history lesson. Obviously there’s something else! Diana, you don’t go around beating people, despite your reputation as a short-tempered Southerner. I know that, remember? So why would he kiss her at all? Why would she let him? Why would a single kiss — we are talking about a single incident, aren’t we?”
Diana nodded.
“Then why would a single kiss make you so furious that you try to crack his head open? Angry, yes. That I can understand. Angry enough to want to hurt him? That I can understand. But raging, furious madness? That’s not you, Diana. You usually exasperate me with your patience for the male-kind. This is simply not in character. So what’s missing?”
“That’s part of it,” Diana admitted, setting aside the mead. Self-pity was not helpful tonight.
“Part of what?” Cleis was on her feet, her own temper rising.
“Why I’m so shaken.”
“Hey! This is me, remember?” Cleis caught her as Diana went to pace past again, and then more gently, she drew her Sister into a warm hug. Diana’s arms slipped around her finally, careful of the injured ribs. Cleis’ strength gave Diana a safe place to begin as the tears started.
When she was done, they found a kerchief and a cushioned seat in the hay. Wrapping an arm over her Sister’s thigh, Diana laid her head in her friend’s lap. And when she was ready, she began to talk. Without speaking of the Sight, she told Cleis much… of how for so long she had thought Elana too young… of how she had even left… of the Priory and her silent watch after the night they took Elana… of her lover’s torment — the escape and some of the healing.
As she finished, Diana shuddered, again remembering her rage at Garrison and her shame in her actions. “But compared to the Priory, Cleis, Garrison was nothing.”
“So Elana knew he was not threatening so much as he was merely being tactless?” Cleis asked.
“Yes.” Diana sighed and sat up finally, wearily. “She understands him a bit better than I do. I think she tends not to take him quite so seriously.”
“Are you — jealous of that?”
“Of him? I have always been a little jealous of his attentions to her. I know he finds her attractive. I’m sure that was part of the reason for my stupidity tonight.”
Cleis ignored that last part. “And Elana? Did she seem attracted to him?”
“No, she has a rather low opinion of most Terrans, and he’s done nothing to change that.”
That sounded reasonably sister-like, Cleis admitted. But she was still puzzled. She tried a different tack. “What should you have done tonight?”
Uncomfortable, Diana shrugged again. “Interrupted and asked if she needed help? I don’t know.”
“Personally,” Cleis shared, “I too would have stepped in a bit more forcefully than a mere question, Diana.”
“But she’s not Maryl — or anyone of Aggar, Cleis. She’s…?”
“A Sister,” Cleis supplied. “Whether formally indoctrinated or not.”
“Yes! I had no right to go barging in assuming she’s some helpless mala’—”
“So… you’re thinking of her inexperience again? You’re afraid you’re not trusting her enough?”
“Maybe,” Diana sighed. It didn’t seem quite so plausible now that the words were spoken. Confusion whirled her reasoning into tangles. With frustration Diana shook her head almost helplessly. “Cleis — Elana was in no immediate danger. I had no right to interfere. She could have handled it — him. I know that. I do!”
“I’ll agree that you shouldn’t have thrown him about, Diana, but….” Her voice dropped low with conviction as she faced her Sister in the lantern light. “I do not agree that there was no danger.”
In silence, Diana listened.
“Given her history at the Priory, given you know her history — you had every right to step in. You had no way of knowing if she could say no to him… no way to know if she was in shock — intimidated — or what. The very last thing you should have worried about was Elana not wanting the help.”
That wa
s right. Instinct had said to protect her. Why hadn’t she trusted that? It didn’t matter how old or how young a woman was — if she was about to be burned you pulled her to safety. Should she turn around and walk back into the flames, well, that was something else. But until you knew better, you acted first.
And Elana? Shadow of Council and Keep, a protector in her own right, wouldn’t she — of all women?! Wouldn’t she understand that? Hadn’t it been Elana who’d come after Diana in spite of Diana’s own rashness? Elana who had stood between Tartuk and death despite Diana’s blindness?
“You’re thinking good thoughts, I hope,” Cleis finally pressed.
With a start, Diana glanced up at her friend. “Good or bad, you have reminded me of much, Soroe. Thank you.”
“Meaning?”
“There are many ways to over-react.”
“You think too much.” Then she said soberly, “You spoke of Elana’s recovery as you journeyed. Diana, what of your own?”
“My own?” The words echoed dully and she looked away.
“Yes, you. I have known you a long time, my friend. What you described tonight is something I would have expected to see that eve at the Priory — provided it had been viable. Have you been so busy with her healing… with this mission — that you’ve forgotten your own wounds?”
The total helplessness of that night… the taste of the soil in my mouth? How would I ever forget that? Diana cringed. And holding her as she wept in the caves, washing the bruises so gently… flinching as she moved from my own touch? How will I ever forget?
“Not forget,” Elana’s voice came back from those days and fearful nights, “but now it is done — over. It is time to go on. It is time to remember that I am safe.”
Time to remember I am no longer helpless, Diana rejoined in her mind.
A hand gently touched her shoulder, and Diana reached up to catch it. “You are right, Cleis. Perhaps, after our work tomorrow, I can properly tend to myself as well.” With a despairing sigh, she wondered how long it had been. She had spent a very long time in running, it seemed — from Maryl, from Elana… from herself. It was time to do more than go through the motions of caring for herself. She had to smile, thinking of Elana’s tolerant amusement — eating regularly had never quite been the issue, had it?
“Perhaps you should begin sooner?” Cleis prompted softly.
“Yes.” Her thoughts turned to Elana and where she was waiting above.
“You’ll have the room to yourselves tonight,” Cleis announced and poured herself a little more mead.
“You need to sleep,” Diana protested. “You can't seriously expect to make that ride tomorrow on no rest.”
“I’m expecting Cedros in from Colmar tonight, so the Min arranged for a cot by the kitchen fires.” Cleis grinned wickedly. “I’ll probably be a good deal warmer than you. No windows to open. And the oven’s stoked up, readying for the morning’s baking.”
Diana got to her feet. “Thank you for the shoulder.”
“My pleasure.” Then, with honesty, “It’s good to know that I’m still needed.”
“Very,” Diana murmured, catching Cleis’ hand. “You always will be.”
† † †
Chapter Ten
As Diana slipped into the room a gentle touch of sorrow washed over her. She had not meant to worry her lover. In an instant it was gone. Elana was on her knees on the bed, clutching a pillow. Clad in a nightshirt of Diana’s with her hair loose about her, she reminded Diana how beautiful she was. Diana shut the door quietly. The firelight flickered, chasing the shadows away from the room, but it could not chase the pensiveness from Elana’s expression. “I owe you an apology,” Diana murmured, drawing near the bed.
“For what…?” Elana whispered desperately. She dropped the pillow and curled her fingers about the polished footboard where Di’nay’s restless hands played. “…For wanting me safe? For caring?”
Diana’s fond smile softened the weathered planes of her face. “No, for losing my temper and not listening… for running. I didn’t mean to worry you.”
“I knew you were near… and safe.” Then in a hushed, strained tone Elana pleaded, “What happened, Di’nay? I have never seen you so angry. I have seen you fight, argue… rave at your commander — at me. But this…?”
Diana was a little shaky admitting, “I don’t think I’ve ever felt that way before.”
Elana’s hands folded over hers gently. “What happened?”
“I saw him with you — all I could think was that he shouldn’t. He had no right.”
Elana stared at her for a moment before saying, “He was not hurting me.”
“I don’t think that registered.” Diana forced her voice to keep it from faltering. “I think I was — was back were I couldn’t stop them from hurting you.”
“You did stop them,” Elana insisted softly, framing Di’nay’s face with warm hands. “You stopped them by taking me out of the Priory. You and Eitteh stopped them by staying so near, always holding me to the present — to safety. You stopped them by chasing the nightmares away with your arms and your voice. You stopped them by touching… by caring… by giving me better memories to cling to. Don’t you know that?”
Perhaps I don’t, Diana thought, and then her eyes slid shut as Elana’s hands pulled her near. Elana’s lips were cool… tender in their seeking, and Diana felt a ragged shudder of relief move through her body.
A knock brought them apart; perplexed for a second they looked at each other. Then smiling, they turned to the door as the barrage began again. “Come!”
“Sorry to disturb you, Di.”
“It’s all right.” Diana grinned, switching easily into Common. She gestured to the woman beside her. “Hal, have you met Elana? — this is Hal Jörges.”
“Hello,” Elana said, feeling her heart warm at this burly man’s awkward respect. She recognized him from earlier as the Terran downstairs in the commons.
“How’ you?” He bobbed his head quick with his greeting, then hurried onto business. “Cedros just got in.”
“So early?” Diana frowned with concern. “Is he all right?”
“Yeah, just dogged tired. Seems we’ve got trouble. He would have sent word by radio, but apparently the satellite’s out again — ”
Diana glanced sharply at Elana, suspicious of the Council’s tamperings. But the woman denied it with a quick shake of her head. “No, they wouldn’t. Not after passing along your plea to Cleis.”
Hal frowned, confused, but went on with, “Anyway, there’s a party pulled into Colmar middle of last night. They’re armed heavy, metal-tipped arrows. They’re looking for anybody traveling with Southerners, and they’re moving for the River Road. Boss said we should be ready to leave tonight — as soon as the commons quiet down some. Says we’ll try to outrun them, unless you’ve got a better plan.”
“Unfortunately, I don’t. Together in about three hours then?”
“Thereabouts.”
“We’ll be ready.”
Hal nodded again, looking at Elana, “Nice meetin’ you.” He slipped out of the room quickly, just opening the door enough to push his towering frame through. Elana had to smile. It was always odd to see someone so large become so flustered.
“You have to excuse Hal,” Diana said. “He’s the most unassuming man I’ve ever met, and he tends to be easily embarrassed.”
“I noticed.” Then Elana said, “Who’s this ‘boss’? Commander Baily?”
A scoffing laugh came. “No, Cleis is. She’s been on Aggar for the longest. That makes her senior supervisor here.”
“Senior?” Elana raised a brow. “What kind of youngster does that make you?”
“Brat!” Diana grabbed the pillow and tossed it back at her.
† † †
Refortified with food, bath, and a bit of sleep, Diana felt much more prepared for their night’s venture. She found herself almost looking forward to the ride. The rain had finally cleared, and, as she stood
at the window overlooking the back court, she noticed that the twin moons had begun to peer through the clouds. It was a good sign. The Mother’s wind would ride with them.
The others had slipped down the kitchen stairs, staggering their departure so as not to alert suspicious guests. Cedros had said Cleis guessed at least one or two of Maltar’s men lurked somewhere in Gronday — the Southern Trader was a known resident of Mattee’s. Diana chose her tried and true ‘back door’ over the squeaking floorboards, and she led Elana out over the kitchen roof to the stable’s upper lofts.
Elana gave a cry of surprise. Cleis had brought Leggings from the Keep. With a friendly toss of her head, the bay recognized her favorite human. Diana smiled as the animal playfully pushed its head into Elana’s chest.
Cleis had prepared well. They found all the animals saddled and readied with light supplies strapped behind. She had even planned for Garrison, Diana noted with approval — bringing a Terran-styled, bulky, stirruped saddle for the man, knowing he had had little experience riding. They might stand a chance now.
They left through Gronday’s eastern gate unhindered. The guards opened the mammoth timber doors without comment. Diana wondered how much that had set Mattee back. She made a mental note; the next Amazon would increase the rent.
† † †
The early moon had barely set when they made the crossroads, and the seven reined their mounts in to a quieter walk. Diana spoke with Cleis, and Elana moved ahead as their scout; it was time to lift this self-imposed ban. Let the Seer of Maltar know where she rode tonight. The waiting was done. By the time the hawker flew word, this chase would be over!
Bonds loosened, her Sight swept outward, filtering through the trees’ great roots — gathering speed and force, flowing from limb to leaf to rustled brush. The vastness of the Mother’s night stirred and woke with familiar things, and her strength grew as Leggings moved on.
Sentries…? There — with horses tethered in the wooded depths. The men were travel worn and warded off a night’s sleep with hushed voices and a game of cards.
Shadows of Aggar (Amazons of Aggar) Page 50