by Lia Lee
“Of course, she loves her.” Allen smirked.
“Yes, yes, everyone has to love your little girl. It’s like she has a second sense when it comes to what Cara needs. We’re all headed to the zoo on Saturday.”
Allen laughed. “Oh, of course. First things first: get that girl to the zoo. That’s so Jessie.”
Brent wrapped his fingers around his coffee cup. “It’s Cara, too, apparently. She’s really into aquatic animals lately. I had no idea. It seems like a small thing, I suppose, but it seems like just yesterday, I could’ve told you her favorite food, her favorite book, what kind of fabrics she can stand to wear and which ones she’ll try to take off in the middle of a restaurant... Anything!”
“I hate to break it to you, buddy, but she’s growing up. She’s getting to that age. Cara will always be your little girl, but she won’t want to tell her dad everything anymore.” Allen sighed. “Some things happened when Jessie was in school that she didn’t mention for years. Not to me, at least, and I know she wasn’t talking to her mother.”
Brent nodded. “It just shames me, I think, to know I haven’t done everything I could to help my daughter. I should know her better than anyone. And I should’ve known things were so rough for her at school before her teacher had to call me in to tell me.”
“I know you’re doing your best. It’s just a tough age. You have to know when to push and when to back off.” Allen picked up the short list of actors and slid it over to Brent. “The key is to be fully present. Work while you’re at work, and when you go home to her, put it away.”
“I try. God, I try.” Brent rubbed his temple and looked at the list.
“Cara will enjoy the zoo. Just start from there.”
***
Seven posters spread out over his desk, with Carl Fenderson towering above. He was a big man, though not quite as tall as Brent, and older than both him and Allen. If Allen provided the team with the harsh numbers, Carl gave them a sense of gravitas. With gray touching his temples and a network of lines along his eyes, the man had been in this business longer than any of them.
Brent stared, unseeing, at the posters. Instead, he was thinking about what Jessica would be doing right now, preparing her activities for Cara. Maybe sitting in a chair at home, wearing shorts and a tank top, with the strap sliding down her shoulder as she leaned over some game she was preparing... Or maybe her bare feet were propped on a table as she read articles on childcare on her laptop, rosy lips parted just slightly, rich brown eyes fixed in attention on her screen.
“Brent!” Carl snapped.
Brent looked up from the posters.
“Plug back in, homeboy.” Carl pointed to the poster on the left. “I told our design team that we would want to have something more like that for the initial ads. Everything needs to be luring them in. These others we’ll leave for the ‘For Your Consideration’ campaign after the movie is out. I think the more minimalist approach will draw the attention of the Academy more.”
“That sounds right. But we haven’t finished casting yet. Allen wants to get at least one big name, and if we do, I want that face on the poster,” Brent said. He really looked at the poster for the first time. “I think there’s too much going on here, anyway. Movie-goers are pretty simple. They just need to identify the genre and maybe an element of the movie itself.”
Carl bobbed his head. “How about this?”
He slid a poster to the front from the “For Your Consideration” pile. It was, simply, a beautiful painting of the desert, with two figures walking across the sand.
“We can slap the face of your big name up top. Above the title.”
“Well, people want to connect to the characters. How about four panels, with the poster here showing through in the first and third, and the male and female lead in the second and fourth?”
Carl frowned, then took the notebook from his back pocket and made a sketch. “Like this?”
“Yeah. So we can make casting move forward faster so we can get these posters out and do a few minimalist promos on the Internet.” Brent pointed to the second panel. “I think I’ll tell them to make sure our leading lady is the name. Folks are into that sort of thing right now.”
“So, like an Emma Watson or Jennifer Lawrence?”
“Or even that girl from the Supergirl show. She’s done a few movies. And I think she has that still indie cache we’re looking for.”
“Got it.” Carl nodded and put the notebook back in his pocket. “So, what girl were you thinking about a minute ago, when you were supposed to be working, huh? She cute?”
Brent felt his cheeks getting hot and waved Carl off. “It’s just been a trying week.”
“Mm-hmm.” Carl clicked his tongue. “Hope she’s cute enough to pay for all this mental space she’s renting out.”
“It’s not that bad.” Brent gathered the posters and handed them to Carl. “She’s just… on my mind. Quite a woman. But it goes no further than that.”
“It could. Maybe you scratch that itch, and she won’t be on your mind anymore.” Carl grinned.
“You dog. No, it’ll just make it worse. Trust me.”
Carl shrugged. “I can’t tell you how to do your romantic life, but you’ve been single for a long time now.”
“It isn’t that easy.” Brent stepped back and shook his head.
“I know it isn’t, man, but it’s been nine years.”
“No, it…” Brent ran a hand through his hair. He turned toward the window.
Had it really been that long? Cara had been so small when LeeAnn had died, but it didn’t seem like it had been such a long time. It felt like only yesterday when they took their little girl out to the park for her first picnic. He could see her toddling through the flowers and falling backward. Her little face had scrunched up, somewhere between laughing and crying, and LeeAnn had come up beside her and dropped down just as hard.
Laughter prevailed. LeeAnn could always do that.
“It has been a long time. But I’m not sure I can let this happen,” Brent admitted. “She’s an amazing woman, and so gorgeous and full of life. It still might not be possible.”
Carl shrugged. “Just think about it. You don’t have to be all work and all dad. I know it would probably take me just as long, or longer, if Deb passed, but that doesn’t mean you and Cara can’t still make room for another person in your lives.”
Brent shrugged. “I hope we can. But until then, I think Cara just needs more friends. She’s so internal and too damn smart.”
“Yeah, that’ll get her in trouble for sure,” Carl agreed.
***
At the end of one of the longest work weeks of his life, Brent stepped into the house with his shoulders tensed. His thoughts were a cluttered jumble of numbers and names and arguments about every project on their plate for the next couple of months. They were spread so thin, but if they could just power through, their company would have the name-recognition and economic stability it needed to launch into bigger films and take more awards.
They could do this. He knew they could.
All at once, the remnants of work were pushed out of his mind by the sounds of giggling. He headed up the stairs, following the exuberant sounds, and felt his heart give a little leap in anticipation. Cara’s voice was a lovely little chime, and Jessica’s voice, lower and so clever and sultry, carried through the hall as though seeking him out.
He forgot the office. He couldn’t wait to see them.
In the playroom, both girls knelt around the large activity table wearing large gray shirts.
“I’m getting it wrong,” Cara complained.
“No, it’s fine. Just dab the color along the wet spot and… Yeah, that’s right!”
Brent leaned in the doorway, watching his girls. Jessica guiding and Cara listening, open and unguarded. Cara had a lot of scheduled activities surrounding resume building. Not much time for trying new things, drawing pictures… Not much time to just be a kid.
Car
a was such a gifted child. She studied hard and practiced hard and thought hard. She needed more time like this. Unstructured, low stakes, free time with someone there to encourage and support her.
God, what would he do without Jessica in their lives? It hadn’t even been a week, and she was already doing so much for Cara.
Brent stepped forward to peer over their shoulders. To his surprise, the table was covered with colorful drying paintings… some of them quite good. Brent couldn’t help but notice a large number of the paintings featured oceans and ponds. He smiled.
“Well, look at my little Impressionists,” he said.
Cara looked up. “Hi, Daddy.”
“What do you think?” Jessica leaned over the table and gingerly held up one of the oceans. “I think this one is the best!”
“The stripes on the blue tang aren’t right,” Cara complained.
“It’s watercolor, kiddo, not photorealism.”
Cara shrugged. “I can do it better, though, now that I figured out how to use the paint.”
Picture after picture of the oceans. Blue tangs. Clownfish. Sea anemone. Zebrafish. Angelfish.
“Well, why don’t you finish up, and I’ll check in on Cecile to see how dinner’s coming along.” Brent leaned over the table to look at Jessica’s paintings. They were much more whimsical, with lemurs driving convertibles and butterflies dancing over brightly colored flowers. “You’re welcome to join us, by the way, Jessica. And we could watch a movie after dinner?”
“Oh, I don’t know,” Jessica said hesitantly.
“Oh! Please, Jessica?” Cara bounced in place. “We can watch Finding Dory! I know you haven’t seen it.”
“I guess I could stay. But we don’t want to be up too late. We want to get to the zoo early tomorrow.” Jessica smirked then, her eyes looking mischievous. “Why don’t I check on dinner, and you can show your dad how to use the watercolors?”
Brent raised his brows. Suddenly, Jessica was guiding him down to kneel at the activity table.
“Paint us something good!” She waved as she headed out of the room.
Cara set a piece of paper in front of him. “You can paint anything you want. But it’s easier to get the background set up before doing anything else.”
“That sounds like solid advice all around.” Brent looked over his shoulder, wondering if Jessica had ducked out to give him a few moments with Cara on his own, or if she had done so to put some space between them.
***
“Don’t get too close, Cara,” Brent warned when she scooted up on the floor with a big pillow.
“Octopuses have nine brains, too,” Cara said. “They have three hearts and nine brains. One in each tentacle and their regular brain. So Hank is down a brain!”
“Poor Hank,” Jessica murmured. “No wonder he’s cranky.”
“And octopuses actually do that – get out of their tanks and run around and hide and stuff,” Cara rattled off. “Not this much. Like they couldn’t drive a car.”
Jessica sat beside Brent on the sofa with her legs curled up under her and her head drooping to the side. In spite of himself, Brent’s eyes kept drifting to her. He’d seen this movie before, although not nearly as often as Cara had seen it. So, his gaze kept falling to Jessica next to him. She smelled so good and even sitting there without makeup, there was a flush to her cheeks.
Her lids drooped. Brent watched, eyes widening, as she slumped over. As if in slow motion, her head came closer, and closer, and closer, until she was on him, dozing away. Brent’s heart pounded thunderously in his chest. He wanted to touch her so badly.
But he absolutely should not do that. Under no circumstances should he cup her cheek or run his hand along her thigh. Between his legs, his cock thickened just from the proximity to her.
Jessica lifted her head, then, waking up and looking at him with heavy-lidded eyes. Brent didn’t think. He just leaned down and pressed his lips to hers.
She shot up as though a spark of electricity had touched her, and after a moment of scrambling hurried for the door.
“Where are you going?” Cara paused the movie and sat up.
“I, um, I’m sorry, kiddo. I forgot about something I have to do,” Jessica said.
“You’re still coming with us to the zoo, though, right?”
Jessica’s eyes flickered uncertainly over to Brent, then back to Cara. “Of course. I wouldn’t miss it. But I really have to go now.”
Cara jumped up and gave Jessica a hug before she left.
Brent sighed heavily.
Chapter Seven
Jessica
Jessica’s heart was still in her throat when she approached the door to her apartment. Her hands shook as she fumbled with her keys and cursed at herself for being so incredibly stupid.
Why had she just run? It was a bad situation, but Brent wasn’t a monster. If she ever just gave him a clear “no”, he would probably back off. Instead, she kept being coy and backing away without telling him how she felt.
She could lose this job, and Cara would be so hurt. The door opened, and she threw her bag to the floor and slammed the door shut behind her.
Of course, he could think about Cara more, couldn’t he? He was her father. He could be the one to put on the brakes and realize that Jessica could be her nanny or his lover, but not both.
“God, I could just smack him!” Jessica pulled her hair back and headed into the kitchen.
Perching on a stool before the counter, she nursed a glass of wine and replayed the kiss in her mind. She squeezed her thighs together. Why did Brent have to be so damn attractive? Why did it have to be so damn complicated? If he were ten years younger, or not one of her father’s best friends…
Jessica poured herself another glass of wine and felt her phone buzzing.
A text from Brent: I apologize for overstepping again tonight. It won’t happen again.
Rubbing her hand over her face, Jessica groaned. Was he being honest? Would it happen again?
“He-eey!” Ashley sang as she walked into the kitchen. She grabbed the wine and poured herself a glass. “What are we celebrating?”
“No celebrating. Only whining. With wine. That’s what’s happening.”
“About what?”
“Brent kissed me.” Jessica sighed. “Well, he did once before, and he kissed me again tonight.”
“That’s awesome!” Ashley raised her glass to Jessica’s. When Jessica refused to raise her glass, Ashley tapped it where it was. “Clink. What’s your problem? Why aren’t you frothing at the lady parts?”
“Well, that’s a disgusting image. I’m horny, not rabid.” Jessica rolled her eyes as she sipped her wine. “This isn’t easy for me. I like him. Of course I like him. But he’s my boss, and I can’t date him, period.”
“You’re out of your mind.” Ashley rose and took a container of cut celery out of the refrigerator. “I’ve seen this guy on TV and in magazines and stuff. He’s a total daddy.”
“Stop it!”
Ashley laughed. “Seriously, he’s gorg. And he’s totally talented.”
“I’m not trying to get a part with him. It’s not the same as looking for a good director to work with.” Jessica shook her head. “You’ve never been in a serious relationship, Ash. You don’t know how complicated it can get. Anyway, if I did anything with Brent, my dad would probably kill me. He’d definitely kill Brent, and that would be the end of his totally talented, totally genius indie studio.”
“You’re making fun, but you’re the one acting like you need your dad’s permission to date a guy.”
“I don’t need his permission. It’s just weird to date my father’s friend.”
“You’re twenty-one. You can do whatever you want.”
“Within the confines of the law and social mores.”
“Well, the latter is flexible. We do live in California.”
Jessica reached across the counter to swat at Ashley’s arm, but she dodged.
“Christ. I’m
going to have to quit. I can’t be a nanny in a situation like this.” Jessica closed her eyes and pinched the bridge of her nose. “He says he’ll stop, but he’s not going to. He’s just like a man half his age, and I don’t know that I have it in me to keep resisting him every time.”
“You don’t have to though. And you can’t quit. Not unless you want to break that kid’s heart. From everything you’ve said, I know she’s lonely, and she definitely doesn’t have enough people around to care for her and be her friend. No wonder she latched onto you so hard. You’re a stranger, but you’re there for her. Don’t let her down.”
Jessica set her glass down hard. “That’s not helping, Ash. I know that I have to look out for Cara. If I didn’t, I would’ve quit the moment I met Brent’s asshole father. Don’t act like I’m not trying here.”
“I was just saying—”
“You were just making fun of my situation and then turning around and being judgmental. Grow some empathy, Ash. It’s hard for me, too. I can’t just fuck a guy because it would be good for me to stay with his daughter. He’s my boss. If we do anything, it has to fucking mean something!”
Ashley held her hands up and took a step away from the counter. “Okay, okay. Sheesh. Bite my head off, why don’t you?”
“I’ll cover your celery in peanut butter if you don’t stop trying to tell me what to do,” Jessica warned.
“How dare you!”
“Full. Fat.”
Ashley mimed a gasp. She waited a moment as Jessica drained her glass, then came around the counter to give her a gentle hug.
“You’ll do the right thing. I know you will. Hopefully, the right thing ends up being the painless thing.”
Jessica pinched her lips together, then sighed. “It never does. At least I get to spend some time at the zoo.”
***
“This is amazing!” Cara exclaimed as one of the overly perky young tour guides led them to the open arena with a pool already brimming with eager dolphins.
Jessica blinked her eyes and kept her sunglasses on, even inside. She wasn’t hungover –would never do that on the job – but she was exhausted. She’d tossed and turned all night, not falling asleep until close to sunrise. With only ninety minutes of napping, she’d had to jump up, shower, and force a fresh-faced smile onto her lips. Her head was thundering from lack of sleep, but as long as Cara was happy, she could smile and keep moving. The sunglasses kept the sun’s glare from stunning her in the daylight and hid the dark circles under her eyes from Brent.