by Lia Lee
"Of course. And if they talk, let them talk, because no other man will have a woman as beautiful as you on his arm."
There was a trace of protectiveness and possession there that warmed something inside Natalie, even as she shivered a little bit. It was hard not to feel as if she was wandering into some sort of play where everyone knew the lines but her, but she resolved to do her best.
The banquet part was fine, as it turned out. All she had to do was sit by Nathan's side, applaud when she needed to applaud, and sip at the delicate rose champagne that was set by her plate. No one seemed to give her a second look, though more than one gentleman scanned an impressed eye over her.
They wouldn't look at me at all if I were in my normal clothes, she thought. Perhaps that was what made Nathan so special. He knew how she looked in thousands of dollars of finery, and he also knew how she looked wearing nothing more than his T-shirt, flushed and mussed from sleep in the morning.
Natalie was just beginning to think that she had a grasp on everything when the social part of the gala started. She had meant to stay with Nathan, but more quickly than she would have believed, he was whisked away by a pair of men who wanted to talk green energy. He shot her an inquisitive look, but Natalie only nodded with a slight smile she wasn't quite sure she felt.
God, I'm not a gawky fifteen-year-old girl with no friends, she told herself. I can stand to be on my own for a little bit while Nathan does what he needs to do.
However, even if she had been groomed and dressed to within an inch of her life, it didn't actually make her stop feeling like a fifteen-year-old girl with no friends. The other women circulated with a science that reminded her of sharks, bright smiles occasionally hiding barbs. Natalie lingered on the edge of the conversations, and she would have been happy to stay there if an older woman hadn't seen her. The older woman, who she had been introduced to before and whose name utterly slipped her mind, took Natalie firmly by the shoulder and steered her to the very center of a knot of women.
"Oh, you must be Nathan Thomas's companion," exclaimed one of the women. "How beautiful you look, my dear!"
Natalie had barely murmured her thanks for the compliment when the questions began.
They were so quick that she was nearly dazed; the women wanted to know everything from where she’d had her gown tailored to where she had gone to school to which causes she chose to dedicate her time to. Natalie was slightly bowled over by the intensity, but she managed to keep up. She even answered the question of how they’d met without mentioning the contract. The ladies were perhaps a little disappointed by her stating that she had been looking for a job and he had whisked her away, but they were pleased to hear all about their travels to Kilderry and in London.
"Oh dear, you are so much more to Nathan Thomas's tastes than Melissa DuBerry. I believe you have a wonderful future ahead of you..."
"Well, we've only been seeing each other for a little while," Natalie said with a slight blush. "But, um, I don't know who Melissa DuBerry is?"
That was when she saw the claws come out, and Natalie learned then and there that there was a certain kind of poisonous delight that women of a certain set took in talking about those who had fallen from grace.
Over the next twenty minutes, she got to hear all about Nathan's ex, the one who had come before her. Natalie knew that he had seen many women before, however, and honestly, she wasn't going to begrudge him his past. Melissa sounded like she was very different from Natalie herself, but there was no need to get angry or afraid, at least not until Mrs. Carr spoke up.
"Honestly, I'm not surprised that it ended, my dears. We all knew that Nathan was feeling a bit of mortality at his heels. He wanted the perfect setting for family and of course children, and he thought he could buy Melissa for the purpose. Really should have looked at his purpose a little more closely, ought he not?"
Natalie blinked in surprise, but fortunately, she didn't have to wonder what was happening because another woman spoke up.
"Oh, that's really too cruel of you, isn't it? Poor Melissa was never good at keeping her head about her, and when she got herself in the family way...well, she shouldn't have let that happen if she wasn't going to land the man himself..."
"Excuse...excuse me," Natalie blurted out. "I think I need a bit of air..."
She could feel their eyes watching her as she went. No doubt they would have plenty of stories to tell about her after she was out of earshot, but she didn't care.
She stumbled out onto the nearly deserted balcony, taking great gasps of the cool nighttime air. In that moment, the clothes and jewels didn't matter. She wished she was at home, snuggled close to Nathan. She wondered if Cinderella had felt this way when she realized that all the people at the ball were gossipy, evil harpies.
"Natalie, are you all right?"
Natalie turned, alarmed, but it was Mrs. Davenport, an elegant woman with pure silver hair. Nathan had introduced her as one of the calmest heads and steadiest hands in all of London, and the fondness in his tone had been unmistakable.
"Oh, I'm fine," Natalie started to say, but she sounded so miserable that it was an obvious lie. Mrs. Davenport looked concerned, and when a couple tried to come onto the balcony, she shooed them away with a glance. "Shall I find you a place to sit down, dear, or perhaps a painkiller? Tell me what's the matter."
Natalie thought she would simply shoo away the woman's inquiry, but instead it all came out.
"They were so cruel," she said, her voice tiny. "And they were speaking of Melissa DuBerry, and I don't know what they were talking about..."
"Ah, well, gossip is the currency of these circles, I'm afraid. You'll find that out if you stay..."
"I don't want gossip, I want to know the truth," Natalie burst out. "Is it true that...that..."
Mrs. Davenport hesitated, but Natalie could see the moment when she decided to tell what she knew.
"Up until he met you, Nathan Thomas never made it a secret who he was seeing," she said, obviously choosing her words carefully. "Starlets, models, women of great wealth, they were very much in the public eye. Melissa DuBerry is the heiress to her own fortune and very beautiful besides, but still, she was different.
"From the moment they were first seen together, they were more serious than either had ever been. I believe they were actually engaged."
She had never heard of Nathan being engaged. The thought made her stomach lurch a little.
"And then what happened?"
Mrs. Davenport was silent for so long that Natalie wondered if she had decided against telling her anything.
"Melissa was pregnant when they broke up," she said at last. "Many believe it was the pregnancy and her refusal to end it that led Nathan to leaving her."
"But Nathan doesn't..." Natalie clapped her hand over her mouth. She had come ridiculously close to spilling the details of their contract.
"Well, some men like to play house, and when the time comes, they're not ready to settle down. Or perhaps he thinks that some women are for fun and others are for family. Who knows."
"That's not the Nathan I know," Natalie said, her voice small.
"I am glad, my dear," Mrs. Davenport said, squeezing her hand gently. "It seems like you know a different Nathan entirely. Perhaps that is for the best."
"I'm not really sure this is my kind of party at all," she found herself saying. It was almost an apology. She knew that Mrs. Davenport certainly attended these events, perhaps even held them.
Mrs. Davenport laughed.
"Oh darling, most good people tolerate them at best. No shame to it. If you like, I can tell you all about volunteer organizations where there's real work involved and not just congratulating others on being minimally decent human beings."
***
In the limousine a few hours later, Natalie could feel Nathan's eyes on her.
"What is it?" she asked softly.
"Just you," he said with a warm smile. "You did well tonight."
"I don't fe
el like I did," she admitted. "I just hung around looking hopeful until I got dragged into the undertow of the conversations, and then I got spooked because everyone was so mean."
"I saw you talking with Mrs. Davenport. I know she couldn't have been mean to you."
"Oh, she wasn't," she said with a smile. "She's wonderful. I think she was my favorite of all the people you introduced me to."
He smiled. "She's got good common sense, and I could tell she took a shine to you. But no one made you feel bad about yourself? No one insulted you?"
Not that I could prove, Natalie thought with a wry grimace even as she shook her head.
"Did you have a good time?"
She bit her lip. "Ask me that later."
"Is that a no?"
"It's...complicated." When Nathan raised his eyebrow at her, she struggled to find the words. "It's...not really my world, is it? You spent so much money making me look the part, but the whole time, I was sitting there thinking that you can't make a silk purse out of a sow's ear..."
He was silent for so long that she wondered if he was angry with her, but then he reached over to drag her next to him.
"You are in no way a sow's ear," he murmured softly. "You're perfect, and believe me, everyone there has to live up to you."
"That's not how it felt," she murmured, and he laughed.
"You're my fairytale," Nathan said quietly, hugging her close. "You're mine, and I think you are perfect."
He continued like that all the way home, whispering soft, encouraging words to her. By the time they came to the townhouse, she did believe him, but the question of Melissa DuBerry hung over her head.
Ask him, she urged herself. Just ask him. If you're his fairytale, you have the right to know what came before, if only to know more about this man to whom you have given your heart.
Even as she urged herself to do so, however, something held her back.
Nathan only nodded in understanding when she begged off anything more intimate than a few soft kisses. She felt warm when he snuggled her next to him in bed that night, but her dreams were haunted by a woman crying and the thin wail of a lost child.
Chapter Nine
Natalie woke alone the next day, and puzzled, she checked her phone.
Sorry, darling, but I've been called to Barcelona of all damned places. They needed me on the plane at the crack of dawn, and I couldn't stand to wake you. Depending on how this ends up, I might be gone for the rest of the weekend, worst luck.
I'll be busy, but not too busy to check my phone. Do you think you might want to hop the company plane out? Otherwise, I'll see you when I get back.
Natalie bit her lip, reading the message. There were a dozen things she wanted to write to him, but it all seemed strangely false and cheerful or else accusing. Though there was a part of her that missed him already, she couldn't help but be slightly relieved when she realized she was alone.
I'll miss you, please hurry back, she typed out, and then she set her phone aside.
Last night had been a revelation. She’d thought she had known Nathan, but from what Mrs. Davenport had told her, perhaps she knew less than she’d thought. She had always wondered if famous, wealthy people kept up masks, and apparently, it might go deeper than she had ever thought it would.
She deliberated for a moment, but then she decided that this was no different than the research she had done before when she was getting used to the idea of Nathan Thomas. If it was on the Internet, there could be no breech of privacy or betrayal of trust, could there? The words felt hollow to her, but she found that she couldn't resist the pull inside her. She had to find out. She couldn't let herself be ignorant.
Finding Melissa DuBerry was fairly easy, and there were quite a few images of her when she had been with Nathan. Though a part of her wanted to skip those images, Natalie made herself study them. Nathan looked different, she thought. She wondered if it was all in her head, but Nathan looked leaner, less happy, more grim, even in shots where he was meant to be smiling.
Melissa DuBerry was far curvier than Natalie, but there was no hint at all she was pregnant. Natalie was relieved for a moment, but then she started looking a little deeper. Apparently Melissa had gotten married almost a scandalously short time after she and Nathan had broken up. Her current husband was a Greek millionaire, and the couple resided in Athens where they were expecting their son in a few months.
Natalie paused for a moment, feeling a chill go over her. She felt guilty as she did the math, but in the end, the numbers were damning.
Melissa DuBerry had split with Nathan two months ago, just a couple of weeks before Natalie had met Nathan. She had married shortly after, and now she was due to give birth in three months.
Natalie sat in silence for a long time, even as everything in her was going crazy. She wanted to call Nathan to demand an explanation. How could he have a child and not tell her about it? How could he impregnate a woman and leave her? The questions swarmed around her, they could have brought her to the point of screaming. Instead, she read the articles, her proof over and over again, until she thought she would fall down.
I did this because I thought he would be good to a child, because he wanted one so badly. Was that a lie? Was this all a lie?
She thought of how kind Nathan had been, how gentle and patient. She thought of what she knew and what she thought she knew, and all of the questions went around and around until she thought she would scream.
With shaking hands, Natalie took up a pad of paper and a pen. Her words were slanting and shaking at first, but by the time she signed her name, they were strong and dark. Her phone pinged with a message from Nathan again, but she ignored it. Instead, she rose from the desk and went upstairs to pack.
I love you, I love you, I can't leave you, her mind chanted, but she quashed the voice brutally.
It was funny, in a way. Natalie had been hoping that sometime soon, Nathan would say he loved her. Perhaps it was best that it was a lie he had never uttered.
***
Nathan usually loved Barcelona. The warmth of the city, its beauty, the welcome of its people, all of those things were usually like a balm to him after the cooler temperaments of the north. This trip, however, everything seemed aggravating to him. Everything took too long, and after the first twenty-four hours, he spent his time snapping at every little grievance while counting the hours until he could be back in London.
He was regretful that Natalie had declined to come to Barcelona with him. He knew having her with him would take some of the irritation out of the trip, and all over again, he had to confront the fact that the young girl he had chosen for a mad chance at a child was simply the most important thing in the world to him.
Nathan hastily wiped the small, soft smile from his face, leaning in to listen to what the manager of the plant in Barcelona was saying instead. Even if he looked as intent as he knew how to, his mind was flying back to London and to the shy girl who seemed to carry his heart in her pocket.
I need to tell her what I'm feeling, he thought suddenly.
He could remember, clear as day, how she had said she loved him. He still wasn't sure what had stilled his tongue beyond the old need to be sure, to avoid being vulnerable. The knowledge unfolded in him like a flower, however, that he could trust Natalie. He could believe her. He could give his heart to her.
I love her, he thought.
Nathan almost stood up and left the meeting. He forced himself to stay seated. If he ran out on it now, it would only mean that he would need to return in another week, likely to people who would be justifiably angry at him. No, if he sat out the next twenty-four hours, he could be done for a while, with enough time to get back to Natalie and tell her how much she meant to him.
The moment he had his plan in place, Nathan felt a calm come over him. He would finish his meetings. He would go to a jewelry store he had found in Barcelona years ago. He would go to Natalie.
Beyond that, nothing else mattered.
He would be with Natalie.
***
Nathan scowled at the phone, a trickle of dread beginning to flow down his spine. Natalie's responses, he realized, had become short, and a while back, they had stopped entirely. He had been unable to raise her at all, and it took everything he had not to call the police to check on her. She had a habit of leaving her phone places, and sometimes he might get a belated reply to some twelve texts he had sent previously.
His apprehensions were not soothed when he entered his townhouse. Everything was perfectly in place, but there was an echo to it that made him look around uneasily.
Haunted, it feels haunted...
He only began to panic when he realized that Natalie had taken all of her things. Correction, she had taken all of the things she had brought to London with her. The clothes she had bought in London, from casual T-shirts to the green gown she had worn just before he’d left, were hung up neatly. A part of Nathan wanted to be relieved, but somehow, the impression was not of a woman who was going to return. It was of a woman who had left.
With shaking fingers, he opened the letter that had been left on his pillow. He recognized her handwriting, and sitting down on the bed, he started to read.
Dear Nathan,
I love you more than words can say, which makes what I have to do next so very hard. Nathan, I found out about Melissa DuBerry. There are so many reasons I care about you, but the first reason that brought me to you has to be the reason I stay too.
And I can't.
Did you ever mean to tell me she was carrying your child? You swore to me you would be a good father, and if I can't trust that...
I love you, Nathan. I love you, and I need to leave.
-Natalie
The blood roared in Nathan's ears. For a moment, he simply sat as still as he could, his mind whirling so much that he thought he might fall over if he started to move. He hadn't thought of Melissa in ages. What did this mean? What could Natalie possibly have heard?
For a moment, he thought he would be utterly crushed under the pain of what she had said, what she apparently believed, but then he stood up.